format_quote Originally Posted by
Futuwwa
I think you people are reading too much into that guy's action of passing on his phone number to sister Narwand. Not all Muslims practice the ironclad gender separation you're advocating. Using a mahram as an in-between is a common practice, but it is not a religious requirement, and many don't see it as one either. There is nothing inappropriate about prospective spouses getting to know each other and evaluating their suitability to be together, it's quite possible to do so without getting intimate. Or even alone together face-to-face, for that matter.
Did the Prophet Muhammed, peace be on him, rely on a mahram to transmit his marriage proposals for him?
Asalaamu Alaikum, Brother should we reject the commands of Allah and Rasulallah (Sallallahu laihi Wasallam) just because "some Muslims" decide not to follow those commands?
We should not be following those type of people in the first place. We should follow the pious and those who do their best to implement and practice Islam as much as possible into their daily lives in accordance with the Qur'an and Sunnah.
Regarding Rasulallah's (Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam) interactions with his wives before marriage then there is no doubt that he NEVER got to know any women whilst being alone with her before marriage.
There is also NO doubt that the majority of forbidden relationships nowadays result from so called "innocent" interactions and friendships between men and women. When a man and a women are together and get to know each other then inevitabley feelings will develop because a man and a women are created to be attracted to each other and when there is unsupervised interaction between them then that is when other things can happen.
Just look around you and you will see the amount of people being hurt and scarred from the result of haraam relationships result from "innocent" interactions. There is NO such thing as an innocent interaction between a man and a women because shaythan is ALWAYS third party to those interactions.
Uqba ibn Amir (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah said: “Beware of going near (non-mahram) women.” A person inquired: “What about in-laws?” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) responded, “The in-laws are death.”
(Bukhari, Muslim)
The Prophet of Allah (Allah have mercy on him) compared male in-laws to death. This means that one should be even more careful with in-laws with regards to interaction as there is greater risk for fitna, especially given the comfortable, social atmosphere in which both parties may lower their guard and forget lowering their gazes.
Imam Muslim narrates from Jarir ibn Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) who says: ”Iasked Allah's Messenger about the sudden glance on a Non - Mahram. He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes.
Buraida reported that the Messenger of Allah said to Ali [Allah be pleased with him]: “O Ali! don't allow your glance to follow a glance, because the first [glance] is forgiven and not the second.
[Narrated by Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Imam Ahmad].
The above mentioned [and other] verses of the Qur'an and sayings of the Prophet [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] indicate the importance of observing the proper limits of gender interaction.
So there is no dispute or difference of opinion regarding the fact that It is not permissable for a non mahram women and man to be alone together or to get to know each otheralone without a mahram being present in their interactions. For you to say otherwise is clearly going against the teachings of Allah and Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). The best thing for you to do is to try and understand why these rules are in place in the first place.
According to Maulana Sultan regarding the topic of male and female interaction:
One of the main purposes of this separation is to safeguard people from immoral acts that occur because of unnecessary interacting and intermingling of certain males and females. Allah the All-knowing, the Most wise, knows the causes of corruption and shameless acts and helps people safeguard themselves from these by setting rules in place. Society struggles to deal with corruption, immoral acts and problems such as arguments, affairs, trust between husband and wife, attacks on women and so on. Whereas Islam tackles these problems from their root i.e. unnecessary interacting and intermingling of certain males and females, which without doubt is the cause of many problems in society. For example, many arguments are caused through unnecessary interacting and intermingling of certain males and females. Likewise affairs occur due to unnecessary interacting and intermingling of certain males and females. Also, often a lack of trust between husband and wife is created because of things that happen during unnecessary interacting and intermingling of certain males and females. Then later on, a lack of trust leads to arguments. Similarly, attacks that are carried out on women are mostly brought about through unnecessary interacting and intermingling with males. People constantly search themselves for a way or system that they think will solve these problems and fail to follow the system given by Allah that actually deals with these problems since he is All-knowing, Most wise.
Another purpose and wisdom behind separating ‘Mahrams’ and ‘Ghayr Mahrams’ is that it protects the honour and chastity of women. Through unnecessary interacting or intermingling of women and men, if a woman falls prey to corruption and commits a shameless act, then this will be the cause of her losing her real honour and chastity. In this modern day and age, society wishes to grant women freedom, honour and rank but fail to realise that real honour is not achieved by granting women freedom but rather by protecting them from the corruption and shameless acts of life, which Islam does, if followed. Even women themselves have fallen for this false idea of honour and try to fight for more freedom and rights, thinking that this will give them honour and rank. Islam is often criticized for its degrading and lack of honour of women, but as shown above, this could not be any further from the truth. Women want honour and rank and it is what Allah wants for them also but their idea of how to achieve it is different from that of Allah’s. If women wish for honour and rank, then remember that honour lies in the obedience of the laws of Allah, who himself is the one who gives honour.
“…and you (Allah) grant honour to whom you will and you disgrace whom you will.”
(Surah: 3 Al-Imraan, Verse: 26)
Lastly, another wisdom behind this separation is that it serves as a boundary to maintain a balanced and pure society and religious life, which in turn will help a person focus on his or her sole purpose in life i.e. the obedience and worship of Allah. Wherever the unnecessary interacting and intermingling of genders is found, then one will clearly see that without doubt, this is something that diverts a person’s attention from the purpose of life and the fulfilment of one’s Islamic duties as well as from the remembrance of Allah. Hence, by creating these restrictions, Allah aims to help us focus on the reality of life and bring this to our attention. Once a person understands this then these restrictions no longer seem like restrictions but rather a mercy from Allah.
Will One Then Not Take Heed?
Allah the All-knowing, the Most wise, out of his mercy has given us these laws to follow only for our benefit and success and so that we do not stray from the straight path and fall into corruption as people before us have done. Should we then not be truly grateful? If so, then we should show our gratitude through our actions by obeying Allah. Whether we take heed and become obedient to him by following the laws set by him or not, Allah will not be affected the slightest. He does not need nor depend on our obedience nor does he benefit from it. The only ones who will benefit will be ourselves with success in this world and the hereafter…if only we knew.
“Indeed, this is no less than a reminder to mankind, for whomsoever wishes to walk straight.”
(Surah: 81 At-Takweer, Verse: 27-28)
Who is more merciful to mankind than one who continues to help those who are obedient to him as well as those who are disobedient to him but gains nothing from it?
Have you not heard of the hadith which stated that when an unmaried couple are alone then shaythan is third party? In Islam there are clear guidelines with regards to the interaction of men and women and these guidelines are only there to safeguard ourselves from possible evil.
Source: http://www.muftisays.com/viewarticle.php?article=mahram
And Allah knows best in all matters