Can you be bridesmaid?

[LauraB]

Hi All
Hope your all good?

Got a little dilemma - my friend is planning to get married (not for another 5 years) but I am pretty sure she's going to ask me today to be her bridesmaid!

I know 5 years is a very long way a way but she's just so excited. I'm sure it will be in a church - so I'm going to have to tell her I can't be a bridesmaid in a church because I don't believe in her god. Do you know if you can be muslim and be a bridesmaid at say a registry office?

I'm not officially muslim yet.. hopefully will say shahadah soon & I will defintely before 5 years time! Lol.

Funny thing is she is planning on having kids before she is married & I don't see how you can get married in a church when you've already had kids.

Although I don't believe in a lot of her choices in life she is still my friend & even though I wish i could shake her and wake her up she won't listen.. going to have to break it to her gently.. any ideas??

[Ramadhan]

Got a little dilemma - my friend is planning to get married (not for another 5 years) but I am pretty sure she's going to ask me today to be her bridesmaid! I know 5 years is a very long way a way but she's just so excited. I'm sure it will be in a church - so I'm going to have to tell her I can't be a bridesmaid in a church because I don't believe in her god. Do you know if you can be muslim and be a bridesmaid at say a registry office? I'm not officially muslim yet.. hopefully will say shahadah soon & I will defintely before 5 years time! Lol. Funny thing is she is planning on having kids before she is married & I don't see how you can get married in a church when you've already had kids. Although I don't believe in a lot of her choices in life she is still my friend & even though I wish i could shake her and wake her up she won't listen.. going to have to break it to her gently.. any ideas??

will it be in catholic church? what kind of church?
and will there be any religious service in the church?

Does she know already that you plan to revert to Islam?

[LauraB]

I don't think so she's not catholic - she's not even religious - in the UK people get married in churches even if they don't go to church & they call theirselfs christians just because they've been christened/baptised. So I don't know if their will be a religious service but usually when you marry in a church you are getting married in the "eyes" of god.

My friend doesn't know that I am planning to convert to islam - she is not the brightest crayon in the box & she doesn't really understand religions to be honest, I remember i spoke to her about muslims before because we went to a halal kfc & she asked me muslims don't eat beef do they?

I'm not a christian and wouldn't have ever classed myself as being one because I was not christened/baptized.. so i think the easiest option to make her understand is that I don't believe in her God - that's if she even believe in a god.

I'll have to ask her questions later on today when I meet her.. personally i think 5 years to plan a wedding is a bit ridiculous!!

[Perseveranze]

If it's a Christian wedding, which i sounds like it is... Then I don't know how you can have a bridesmaid that is not Christian. Because from my understanding, the Bridesmaid is suppose to be like a witness in front of God (who is Jesus to them) or something.

I'm not sure, but I think ou'll be discouraged from doing it (as far as the Islamic view goes).

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[Zafran]

salaam

One problem I have here is that you say we dont believe in the same God - we do believe in the same God thats in the Quran - its the christians that say we dont believe in the same God most of the time - we only disagree how God interacted with the world ie Jesus being God yes to christians no to Muslims.

peace

[LauraB]

If you read correctly.. I said my friend would not understand that.. the easiest way to explain to her is that I don't believe in the same god as her. :S

[Zafran]

If you read correctly.. I said my friend would not understand that.. the easiest way to explain to her is that I don't believe in the same god as her. :S

maybe saying you dont believe Jesus was God which is what the church (the place where shes getting marriad) is all about. What do you think?

[LauraB]

Yes that's sounds better :) thanks.. but to be honest being the person she is she probably won't even understand that lol.. but I can give it a try!

[ayesha.ansari]

Hi all it's totally depend on, on which religion she believes. what is her religion? after answering that If female is Muslims she is not allowed to marry such man. If she is christian then you both have to trust your GOD and if she don't have any religion then it's great you can do what ever you want.

[Woodrow]

Simply tell her you believe it would be best if she had bridesmaids from her own faith as the church would not let you be one if you are not of their denomination and if she tried to have you as one it could be very awkward.

[Futuwwa]

I have to agree with Zafran. There is nothing wrong with making things simpler than they are to facilitate communication, but saying that you worship a different god than she does isn't a simplification, it's plain wrong.

[MustafaMc]

Peace LauraB,

I encourage you to take the shahadah and to start practicing Islam as soon as possible. Just like the song by Lynn Anderson to not have promised her hubby a 'Rose Garden', you nor I are promised tomorrow. Don't delay, but make haste before it is too late.

I agree with Brother Zafran about the different God bit though it seems to be splitting hairs. We believe in the One God as did Jesus and who he is quoted in the Bible as referring to as 'the Father'. The problem is that Christians worship Jesus and merge him together with the Father in their concept of God. In Islam, we call that shirk or ascribing partners with Allah. I believe that the simplest approach is to say you don't want to be a part of a ceremony that in any way reveres or worships Jesus or the Trinity as God.

[LauraB]

Okay thanks all!

After speaking to her, she is not sure of the arrangements of how she will have the wedding.. & i guess I will say no to a religious service if that is the case. I'll take all your suggestions with me into the future inshallah.