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Samiun
05-07-2011, 03:49 PM
:sl:, which is the better and more suitable action for a Muslim to do? Saying words to a brother(if you're a brother) using "I love you" and saying words to a sister(if you're a sister) using "I love you" compatible with the sunnah or performing good deeds to show that you love them? Other than that, should there be balance between a both? Give me your responses here! :X I really wanna know since I sometimes feel a stab in the heart if I say I love you to someone :(...
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elina
05-07-2011, 03:55 PM
i think a balance between the two :)
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Samiun
05-07-2011, 04:02 PM
Originally Posted by elina
i think a balance between the two :)
:sl:, could you elaborate more on this sentence? Thanks :)
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Cabdullahi
05-07-2011, 04:02 PM
Saying 'I LOVE YOU' to adults you love is difficult.....but saying it to small children is easy

I dont think i have ever said 'I LOVE YOU' to another adult
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al yunan
05-07-2011, 04:14 PM
Salam to all,
There are only a few languages that you can say "I love you" and it would be understood as Platonic, as for English it can get you in a heap of trouble or a slap in the face. I would opt for the second answer until able to use the first with out any misunderstanding.
Masalam
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Hannah.
05-07-2011, 04:21 PM
Show them your love by your actions - they'd get the idea
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gladTidings
05-07-2011, 04:23 PM
The prophet (saw) encouraged us to profess our love...' Prophet of Allah, upon be peace, said, "If one of you loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him." '

The prophet (saw) himself was not shy to profess:

'The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “O Mu’adh! By Allah, truly I love you.” [Abu Dawud, Al Nisa’i, Ibn Hibban, Abu Nu'aym, Ibn Khuzaimah and Al-Hakim, who declared its isnad to be sahih]'

What I would give to be Mu'adh on that day.

Naturally, if you love a person your actions will show this.
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Haya emaan
05-07-2011, 04:28 PM
there should be balance between the two..

for saying i love u
“If a Muslim loves his Muslim brother, he should inform him.” (Tirmizi)
i think this is because when the other is aware of your love he will be more concerned about it.. and this will strengthen your relation

and as for expressing it in actions... words are useless when you don't act in according to what you say..
for example.. we all say we love Allah.. so we express that love in our amaals
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Flame of Hope
05-07-2011, 05:30 PM
Originally Posted by peãrl
The prophet (saw) himself was not shy to profess:

'The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “O Mu’adh! By Allah, truly I love you.” [Abu Dawud, Al Nisa’i, Ibn Hibban, Abu Nu'aym, Ibn Khuzaimah and Al-Hakim, who declared its isnad to be sahih]'
:sl:

Ahem! Flame is being inflicted by pangs of guilt. She loves many members in the IB board.....so she's now going to tell them all that she loves them. :wub:

Jazakallah khair for the reminder! :)
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al yunan
05-07-2011, 07:03 PM
Salam to all,

Knowing most of these Ahadith makes me feel more self conscious but as English is not my mother tongue I still don't feel comfortable saying "I love you".
Maybe some one English (not English speaking as myself) can explain to me how does one wishing to follow Adab Islam and the prophet s.a.w's Sunnah overcome this language barrier.
Speaking English is not the same as being English. How does one say "I love you" in English and it would be okay ?
I can say "I love you" in other languages no problem but in English ?
I can't also just start talking to people in different tongues or maybe that a good solution for in translation surely the aquardness would reduce.
I would also like to add one of my favorite Hadith "When a believer misses (in his heart) another believer he gets the reward equal to having spent a thousand nights in the Mosque (Itiqaf)"
How fortunate are we to be Muslim ?
I too like sister pearl would give anything to be Mu'adh on that day.
Jazakallahu Khair and thanks to the sisters for reminding me of those Ahadith.
Masalam
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Endymion
05-07-2011, 09:01 PM
Originally Posted by Flame

:sl:

Ahem! Flame is being inflicted by pangs of guilt. She loves many members in the IB board.....so she's now going to tell them all that she loves them. :wub:

Jazakallah khair for the reminder! :)
Aww.......... Thanks dear,i knew that you love me :statisfie You are crazy about me :giggling: Love you too :wub:

**Sigh** Endy,why are you that good and sweet,people have no other choice but to love you :D :giggling:


*************** Back to topic *******************

I once read this line,touches my heart.
Helping hands are better than talking lips.
I believe if you love someone,you better say that with your actions.Love,to me,is respect,to take care of other person no matter its love between two adults or with your friends and family.Words do have their importance but only words are not gonna make it,your actions are the thing that proves your words :)
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Ansariyah
05-07-2011, 09:03 PM
I never had trouble telling someone I love, that I love them. We dont know how long we've got to live, this life is a passing moment. With that thought in mind now I dont hold nothing back.

I definitely show it through my actions, but sooner or later I say it especially to my family.
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elina
05-08-2011, 08:51 AM
Originally Posted by Nbeel
:sl:, could you elaborate more on this sentence? Thanks :)

salam nbeel...... i have 2 close female friends.... we dont exactly say i love you...more love you loads....which is a comfortable way to say it..... we tell each other usually at the end of phone calls, when we hug as we leave each other, when one of us does something nice for the other or make each other laugh when we are down... then we also do little things that show each other we care.... one of my friends lives about 400 miles away....we send each other silly little things through the post (usually just costing pennies) with notes 'saw this thought of you' my other friend lives close by..... i will call her early on a morning when i know shes just finished work and say i have her breakfast ready, she will call me when im on my way home from work mid afternoon (and before i got married at 10pm when i was on late shift) and say.... i have your dinner on...call on your way home...... both my friends know in times of trouble they can call me anytime of day or night and vice versa....... you know little things that mean a lot :)
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AmineH
05-08-2011, 09:09 AM
salaam
I think it's better to be balance between a both .( especially for women )
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Samiun
05-08-2011, 12:45 PM
:sl:, such brilliant answers from people around here. You know, I don't get to discuss this kind of topics in the real world as some people may be a little sensitive or not serious when it comes to love. It's common to find Muslims from the west to be more open minded than some Muslims in the east. But I can't say for certain, which side is the better one as we're all one ummah :). I think I'll love someone with actions. Last question, is it wrong showing love to the opposite gender?
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Flame of Hope
05-11-2011, 10:05 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by Nbeel
I think I'll love someone with actions. Last question, is it wrong showing love to the opposite gender?
To love someone is an action of the heart. :) So for the opposite gender, I think it's fine if it's not expressed by way of words. You can make it known by your respect for the person and show how much you hold them in esteem. Of course for a woman to say that she loves her dad, brother, husband, grandfather...shouldn't be a problem. And vice versa.

If we knew the reward for loving one another for the sake of Allah, we would be more particular about it.........we'd express it, tell others we love them, visit each other and keep each other's company:

--------------------------- :ooh:

The noble Prophet, peace be upon him, is reported to have said: ‘Around the Divine Throne, there are podiums of light. On them are people whose clothing is light and their countenances are light. They are neither Prophets nor martyrs. The Prophets and the martyrs are delighted with them.’ ‘Describe them to us, O Messenger of God,’ requested his Companions. The Prophet replied: ‘They are those who loved one another for the sake of God. They kept each other’s company for the sake of God and they visited one another for the sake of God.’ :wub:

Indeed the noble Prophet made affection springing from the heart a basic requirement in discharging the duties of brotherhood, without which faith is incomplete. This affection is not a favour which one grants to another. All this is implicit in his saying: ‘No one of you has attained faith unless he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’

The great truths which the noble Messenger conveyed and on which he trained the firs generation of Muslims are the only bases on which our new societies can be erected. Without them, our path will never be straight. For, the Truth will remain the Truth and human souls will always be the same.

Source:
"Watering the Seed of Love" - Said Ramadan, pp. 263-264
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Salahudeen
05-11-2011, 10:41 PM
I think the two are inter connected, love necessitates that it is shown in actions, otherwise it is not a real love, just like emaan must be shown in actions as well as belief in the heart and speaking.

Of course you should not go upto a random women and say you love them, but there is no harm in telling brothers that you love them for the sake of Allah.

I think the perfect example is the love of Allah, we speak it on our tongues, feel it in our hearts, and because of the love we feel for Allah, it drives us to do righteous actions and obey him, our love for Allah is a motivation for us to worship him, for example, sometimes we feel lazy to pray salah, then we think I don't want to displease my lord because I love him and I don't want him to be displeased with me. You see it's very hard to displease someone you love very much, rather you just want to fulfill their every wish and make them happy cos of your love for them.

Similarly, when you love a person it manifests in how you treat them, if your love is sincere it will show in your actions, you will not wish to hurt them or cause them pain in any way, your only desire will be to make them happy and smile, and to see them sad will make you sad, to the point you'd do anything to make them smile again, even if you have to move mountains, and to know they're happy will bring you peace and contentment.

So brother I think both are connected and when you tell someone you love them, it will automatically show in your actions. And if you don't tell them it but just try to show it in your actions then you're depriving the person of hearing something beautifull, because which person does not like to hear someone say to them "I love you". When it's sincere there's nothing more pleasing to our ears than to hear someone say to us that they love us, and we'd love to say it back accompanied with a hug :)

Such moments and memories are never forgotten, they remain with us for eternity and we treasure them, even more so when that person leaves us and returns to Allah.
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Amanda
05-16-2011, 02:00 PM
I think a balance is best... words don't often mean as much as actions, but at the same time even in friendships sometimes people need the reassurance of hearing the words.
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sister herb
05-16-2011, 02:20 PM
Salam alaykum;

I prefer actions more than words. I don´t feel myself very romantic person and many times I feel it is annoying when my fiance repeat to me daily that he loves me.

:embarrass
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Beardo
05-16-2011, 02:22 PM
First off, Brother Nbeel, the fact that you made a thread about love means you must join the Brothers' Section ASAP.

Secondly, I prefer showing with actions. It feels good to do good deeds, Alhamdulillah. :)
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GuestFellow
05-16-2011, 06:02 PM
Salaam,

I'm not really the type to tell people that I love them or show it to them. I find it very unusual...
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'Abd Al-Maajid
05-16-2011, 06:31 PM
I prefer using words because I see that it means a lot to a girl that if her partner says, "I love you". If i were a girl I'd just prefer showing it with actions because boys hate listening to these kind of words like 'I love you'. :p

Originally Posted by Beardo
First off, Brother Nbeel, the fact that you made a thread about love means you must join the Brothers' Section ASAP.
HAHA...and do what? We'll have more marriage threads then...:p
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GuestFellow
05-16-2011, 07:15 PM
Originally Posted by 'Abd Al-Maajid
HAHA...and do what? We'll have more marriage threads then...:p
Salaam,

NO! No more marriage threads. How about carrot cake topics? Or topics about pillows.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-17-2011, 05:22 PM
Originally Posted by Nbeel
:sl:, which is the better and more suitable action for a Muslim to do? Saying words to a brother(if you're a brother) using "I love you" and saying words to a sister(if you're a sister) using "I love you" compatible with the sunnah or performing good deeds to show that you love them? Other than that, should there be balance between a both? Give me your responses here! :X I really wanna know since I sometimes feel a stab in the heart if I say I love you to someone :(...
Wa Alaaykum as'Salaam

Saying it to people is good but it also depends on the intention, for example you may really mean it so you tell someone you love them, some may say it for other reasons and not mean it

Showing it in actions is also good but it also depends on the intention, keeping your intention straight as your doing an action to please the person and most importantly Allaah SWT as main priority and bad as in just people pleaser kind of thing. so yes there should be a balance between the both insha'Allaah none of the ways are bad as long as there is a good intention insha'Allaah..

Who knows whether your intention is good or bad? Only Allaah SWT, it is between you and Allaah and nobody else to judge..

However, saying it to non-mahram isnt soo good as the person may get the wrong idea unless your intention is to getting married to the person. so even if your intention is good the person may still get the wrong idea as you may never know, try to keep away from saying such stuff to the opposite gender insha'Allaah..so basically there is more harm than good in this case maybe not for you but for the other or maybe even vice versa, Allaah knows best..

.. peace ..
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