Hating Yourself for the Sake of Allah!

[Flame of Hope]

Hating Yourself for the Sake of Allah


Ibn al-Qayyim(ra) said:

"And hating yourself for the sake of Allah is from the characteristics of the truthful, and in a single second, it brings the slave close to Allah many times more than any action or deed would."

Later in the same chapter of 'Ighathat al-Lahfan,' he related from al-Jariri:

"I was told of a man from the Children of Isra'il who had a need that he wanted fulfilled by Allah. So, he engaged in constant worship and then asked Allah for his need. When he did not see that his need was fulfilled, he spent the night blaming himself, saying: "O self! What is wrong with you that is preventing your need from being fulfilled?"

And he spent the night sad and holding himself to account, saying: "By Allah, the problem is not with my Lord. Rather, the problem is with myself," and he remained in such a state of holding himself responsible until his need was finally taken care of."

['Ighathat al-Lahfan'; 1/77]

[siam]

I disagree......

Humility is essential however, humility is not "self-hate". To hate God's creation is to be disrespectful of God. That is one reason why the Christian concept of "original sin"---that all human beings are inherently bad and sinners----does not find approval in Islam. To accept responsibility and accountability for oneself is not "self-hate".

To elaborate---In Islam, the goal is not to "annihilate the self"---as some religions or philosophies advocate---but to live in balance and harmony with the "self" (nafs) in submission to God's will. Therefore, the "self" in not a hated thing to be gotten rid of---rather it is a blessing to be used for willing submission to God.

....IMO, worship of God should really be about what we can do for God----and not about what God can do for us.......

[al yunan]

....IMO, worship of God should really be about what we can do for God----and not about what God can do for us.......

Assalamu Alaikum siam,

Ibrahim a.s was asked by Allah S.W.T as what had he done for Him to which Ibrahim a.s replied that there was not anything he could do as Allah S.W.T did not have need for anything.
He was then asked by Allah S.W.T "Ya Ibrahim do you have any friends or enemies on my behalf"

In reality dear siam there is nothing else we the believers can do as there is nothing that Allah S.W.T needs from anybody.

As for the thread by sister Flame it's just bad translation more proof that Arabic poetic idioms have no value in English.
These bad translations make many say ah just Sufi mambo jumbo, where in reality these stories are heart stoppers and can reduce grown men to sobs.
That's why Arabic, Farsi, Urdu and Turkish inspire men so with words that bring joy to heart and peace to the soul.
Alas English is at best distant cousin to many tongues but mother to none.
English have the Internet and Shakespeare at least that's better than nothing.

Masalam


PS: If I omitted any body's language it's not intentional that's all that came to mind at the moment.

[siam]

I agree with you that it is more than likely a bad translation

I also agree that God as no needs---but I disagree about us not being able to do anything---we have been given a responsibility to discharge---it is God's will that we have right belief that inspires in us right intentions that promote right actions for the benefit of all of God's creations. The least we can do is to find ways to successfully discharge the responsibility God has bestowed on us.

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[Flame of Hope]

:sl:

When he did not see that his need was fulfilled, he spent the night blaming himself, saying: "O self! What is wrong with you that is preventing your need from being fulfilled?"

This is the key sentence from which we are supposed to take a lesson. Indeed the nafs is most blame-worthy for many of our transgressions. We are on a daily basis in constant battle with our nafs.....the jihad-an-nafs.

I have no problem in admitting that I do hate myself on a regular basis. Doing so is extremely healthy for the soul because it paves the way for repentance. Repentance which cleanses and purifies you....repentance which makes Allah turn to us in His great mercy.

[Flame of Hope]

The Evil of Self-Satisfaction

The root cause of all of the diseases of the heart is love of the temporal world and self satisfaction. The source of every disobedience, indifference, and passion is self satisfaction. The source of every obedience, vigilance, and virtue is dissatisfaction with one's self. It is better for you to keep company with an ignorant man dissatisfied with himself than to keep company with a learned man satisfied with himself. For what knowledge is there in a self satisfied scholar? And what ignorance is there in an unlearned man dissatisfied with himself?

There are three signs of being overly content with the soul.

First is being sensitive to one's own rights and indifferent to the rights of others. In Islam, one's responsibilities preponderate over one's rights.

The second is ignoring one's faults, as if he has none, while being preoccupied with the faults of others. A contented eye does not see faults.

The third sign is giving oneself too much leniency. The root cause of all good qualities is the lack of self satisfaction, and this conclusion is obvious because being dissatisfied with oneself prompts one to seek good character and to vigilantly avoid what is inappropriate.

There are three signs that someone is not content with himself.

First is when a person checks himself, is self accusing, and wary of his intentions. One should ask himself, "Am I doing this for show or for the sake of God?" Second is being careful of the blemishes of the soul. The Prophet (peace be upon him) supplicated, "O God, do not leave me to the soul even for a blink of an eye."

Third is forcing the self to do difficult things, for example, eating less and spending money in charity.

Abu Uthman said, Whoever sees anything good about himself has not seen the faults of his soul."

Being vigilant about one's faults does not imply self loathing or depletion of confidence. In fact, confidence gives one the courage to find fault in oneself.

[Purification of the Heart]

[Flame of Hope]

Imam Malik said, “I knew a people who had no faults, and they preoccupied themselves with faults of others; God gave them faults. And I knew another people and God gave them faults, and they preoccupied themselves with purifying themselves, ignoring the faults of others; God purified their faults.”

[tigerkhan]

this is so imp thread.
Jazakallah for sharing...

[Flame of Hope]

Human Being Has a Great Capacity For Self-Delusions


Some are deceived by the hadith Qudsi, "I am according to the good expectation/thought of My servant., so let him think of Me as he wishes." i.e. that whatever he thinks I will do to him, I will."

But, good expectations can only be with good conduct, for one who does good expects that his Lord will deal with him well, will not break His promise, and will accept his repentance.

As for the one of evil conduct, who persists upon major sins, oppression and other evils, the desolation of sin, wrongdoing and [other] prohibited things prevent him from having good expectations of his Lord.

This is something we witness in everyday life. A disobedient employee who has run away with company property will not have a good expectation of his boss. The evil of wrong deeds cannot coexist with good expectation. The best in expectation of his Lord['s mercy] is the most obedient to Him.

Hasan Basri said, "The believer has good expectation of his Lord, so he make his deeds good. But, the evil person has bad expectation of his Lord, so he does evil."

How can someone claim to have good expectation of his Lord when he is like a runaway, and is doing things which displease and anger his Lord, and has abandoned His orders, and is at war with Him?

How can one have good expectation of his Lord if he thinks that He does not see him?

Beware of deceiving oneself.

Through relying on Allah's pardon and forgiveness, by procrastination of repentance, by performing istighfar only verbally, by doing good deeds [after impetuously sinning], by knowledge, by justifying his sins by the argument of destiny, by citing examples of people committing similar sins, or by following in the footsteps of ancestors and elders.

Abu Umamah Sahl ibn Hanif reports: `Urwah ibn al-Zubayr and I entered upon `A'ishah and she said : If only you had seen the Messenger of Allah (saws) in one of his illnesses; [when] he had 6 or 7 dinars. The Messenger of Allah ordered me to distribute them [in charity?], but the pain of the Messenger of Allah kept me from doing that, until Allah cured him. Then, he asked me about them: "What have you done? Had you distributed the 6 dinars?" I said, "No, by Allah. Your pain had kept me from doing so." He asked for them to be brought [to him], and put them in his hand then said, "What would be the expectation of Allah's prophet if he met Allah with these in his possession?"

So, if we reflect over this, we will realize that good expectation of Allah is equivalent to good deeds, for one is moved to good deeds by good hope of Allah, that He will reward him for his efforts and accept them. Otherwise, good expectation along with pursuit of whims and desires and lusts is incapacity.

Good expectation can only occur if the means for salvation are pursued.

Pursuit of the means to destruction cannot accompany good expectations.

So, the knowledgeable one is he who puts hope in its correct place, whereas the deceived one is he who puts it elsewhere.

- Al-Jawab al-Kafi li-man sa'al `an al-Dawa' al-Shafi -Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah(ra)

[Kabeer]

Hate is definately the wrong word here.
Having humilty is the correct way of putting it.
Hating ones self is unhealthy.

[Flame of Hope]

:sl:

Hating ones self is unhealthy.

Then is loving one's self the cure? Is loving one's self healthy?

[Chavundur]

Actually hating oneself is not a logical or appropriate behavior, Yes most dangerous enemy of us is our nafs if its functionality doesn't work in limits. We have to see ourselves as a art of Most Merciful one, We don't have a possession over our body or soul except using it in straight way, I mean We don't have a right to hate ourselves.

[Flame of Hope]

:sl:

Actually hating oneself is not a logical or appropriate behavior, Yes most dangerous enemy of us is our nafs if its functionality doesn't work in limits.

I'm sure you agree that Shaytan is our enemy. We are to treat him as an enemy. And it's also true that Shaytan has an easier time misleading us if we are unable to discipline our nafs.

Jihad an nafs is a life-long battle and we have to fight our nafs every single minute, every single second. If we don't, we are easy prey for Shaytan. Become lax, become complacent, begin to think well of yourself, begin to think you are a "good person" and you are on your way to Hell.

The nafs has a tendency to lean toward the life of this world. It is pleasure-seeking and selfish, thinking only about its own interests, uncaring about others.

Undoubtedly, our nafs is evil because of its selfishness. If we don't fight it we will go astray and end up in Hell. It requires constant striving, vigilance and hard work to keep our nafs in check.

This all points to the fact that we are our own worst enemy. Procrastination, laziness, complacency, pride, arrogance, greed, covetousness, jealousy, envy, resentment,, selfishness and ingratitude are all diseases that arise in a heart whose nafs is not disciplined or kept under control.

Jihad an nafs is a mighty jihad.....striving against your own nafs pleases Allah. The nafs is inclined towards worldly glitter, wealth, ease and comfort whereas Allah desires us to work for the Hereafter and not be deceived by the temporary life of this world. The nafs is selfish whereas Allah wants us to be selfless. The nafs doesn't like to think and reflect upon death whereas Allah desires that we think about death often. Those are just a few examples. But the point is clear. Our nafs is our enemy. It's an enemy that can take us to Hell. and if so, how can we have any other feeling for it but HATE?

Lastly, I'd like to add that I did not translate that particular saying of Ibn Qayyim: Hating Yourself for the sake of Allah. The translation is quite correct, in my opinion. I don't think any word expresses how we ought to feel about our nafs better than 'hate".

Those who object to the use of that word possibly don't realize how great an enemy the nafs really is. May Allah help us to fight our nafs. Ameen.

[Chavundur]

Those who object to the use of that word possibly don't realize how great an enemy the nafs really is. May Allah help us to fight our nafs

Dear Flame , You don't need to hate your enemy either. Nafs is a sort of measuring device in this short transient world life. We have to improve our capacity and perspective in this short period of time through it. As I said before It is dangerous if it is not used properly, all desires, pleasures, benefactions can be evaluated through its magnetic nature. Problem of human being is not to put mind forward or make mind leader. In modern times we are experiencing a strange examination process differing from early ages of Islam. As reported by our ancestors, we are in the end of times, All terrible sins surround us and that process has been normalized by misleading forces, I think nobody can deny that. Methodology of previous Muslim scholars and our great leaders was appropriate for those ages' demand. But today's conditions are more complex and detailed, life styles and connection of us with worldly needs is absolutely different. You can't fight against your nafs as Sufis did before. You can't cut off your connections, You can't leave worldly challenges out as before. Don't misunderstand me, I was grown in sufi culture and I respect our sufi ancestors, Their methodology was absolutely true, and most of them exalted Islam, and they caused us become Muslim or live in Islam. But today We can remain standing only living pure Islam, It is the practice of Rasulullah. All other methodologies and paths are dangerous for modern Muslims living in modern cities. I have to say that clearly for some brothers, If you don't know what nafs training or sufism is, don't even try to criticize my words. For example, If you don't fast properly, with less sleeping and talking, don't claim nothing about hating nafs or training, It is not right to advice something that you don't carry out. For cutting short I can summarize, Using the word " hate " is not only illogical or improper, It is also dangerous for the passing on Islam's message in this age. In such a world that, even ordinary Muslims don't carry out their major duties, and committing sins, we have to approach them more carefully. People can live without bread but not live without breathing, Sufism or declaring a war against nafs is that bread. If 95% of our populations live normal Islam, we can again start sufi practice in order to improve advanced levels of understanding our Creator. But It is not a proper methodology for today.

Dear Flame, this subject is very detailed, we can discuss furthermore if you don't agree with these statements, I agree with your messages above %99 except hating oneself, Don't forget that, After training your nafs, you can love it, because it is given by Allah, And He gives us everything for a reason. He created Satan too, He was knowing its character before creating him,(Allah is free from time of course ). One day Imam Rabbani saw a woman's heel in bazaar, He said I lost forty grades of my spiritual progress, That can give an opinion how hard it is to progress when you fight with nafs.

[Aa`raf 7:31] O Descendants of Adam! Adorn yourself when you go to the mosque, and eat and drink, and do not cross limits; indeed He does not like the transgressors.

[Flame of Hope]

:sl:

Problem of human being is not to put mind forward or make mind leader. In modern times we are experiencing a strange examination process differing from early ages of Islam. As reported by our ancestors, we are in the end of times, All terrible sins surround us and that process has been normalized by misleading forces, I think nobody can deny that. Methodology of previous Muslim scholars and our great leaders was appropriate for those ages' demand. But today's conditions are more complex and detailed, life styles and connection of us with worldly needs is absolutely different. You can't fight against your nafs as Sufis did before.

Islam is a perfected religion and it is a religion that can be practiced for all times. Whoever Allah guides, none can misguide. Whoever He leads astray, none can guide. It doesn't matter what age you live in. Today's conditions are more complex and the trials are greater, I agree with that. But I don't agree that we can hold these conditions responsible for our inability to fight our nafs. I don't agree we can excuse our nafs for its transgressions because we are living in the end times.

It is not right to advice something that you don't carry out.

But I do carry it out. I do hate and despise my nafs. I hate it because it has a tendency to become proud. I hate it because it's greedy. I hate it because it's selfish. I hate it because it is impatient. I hate it because it's ungrateful. I'm always suspicious of it.

By the way, do you not know a du'aa of the Prophet (saws) where he begged Allah not to leave him in the hands of his nafs for even a single moment? Why would he have made such a du'aa if the nafs is so good as you make it seem?

Here's the du'aa:

O Allah , I hope for Your mercy . Do not leave me to myself even for the blinking of an eye (i.e. a moment) . Correct all of my affairs for me . There is none worthy of worship but You.

Reference: Abu Dawud 4/324, Ahmad 5/42. Al-Albani graded it as good in Sahih Abu Dawud 3/959.

For cutting short I can summarize, Using the word " hate " is not only illogical or improper, It is also dangerous for the passing on Islam's message in this age.

Okay, so let's use other words besides "hate".....

Instead of saying "Hating yourself for the sake of Allah" how about if we said:

Holding yourself blameworthy for the sake of Allah...

Having a low opinion of yourself for the sake of Allah......

Seeing yourself as insignificant for the sake of Allah......

Crushing your ego for the sake of Allah.............

Knowing your limitations and weaknesses for the sake of Allah...........

Jihad-an-nafs....or fighting the self for the sake of Allah.......

It's alright if you don't like to use the word "hate". But as long as you acknowledge that the word "hate" can be replaced by the words suggested above, I'm okay with it.

[Innocent Soul]

Jihad-an-nafs.

I think will be the best.

[Kabeer]

:sl:



Then is loving one's self the cure? Is loving one's self healthy?

Hate is always a negative emotion, love can be a positive one. It is possible to love oneself in a healthy way, but you cannot hate yourself in a healthy way.

But of course, you can love yourself in an unhealthy way, such as vanity, arrogance, egotism, selfishness, so forth.

Peace

[Chavundur]

Human being has not been consisted of nafs only, there is also spirit and Ego. Nafs is bad in this world, its functionality is related with examination, I can't say that don't fight with your nafs or love it, as I said before I agree with your messages %99, hating or not loving it is not Islamic, there is middle way, being neutral and approaching it like a trainer. Using the word " hate " is not a health understanding of examination.Hate is from Satan, and one of the disasters of Nafs is hate. Jihad-an-nafs is super, it is wisdom. But Why you hate ?

[Flame of Hope]

:sl:

It is possible to love oneself in a healthy way, but you cannot hate yourself in a healthy way.

So if I hate myself, that is supposed to be unhealthy for me?

On the contrary, I find that hating myself has proven to be most beneficial. It makes me look up to others. It makes me think that others are way better than me.

Such thinking can hardly be classified as "unhealthy".

Anyway, I won't insist on using the word "hate" since quite a number of folks have expressed their objection to its use in this context. I wasn't the one who translated it anyway.

What matters is that one understands the nature of one's nafs and in understanding it, fights hard against it.

[Flame of Hope]

The Dispraise of Hawaa

Imam ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah rahimahullah

Translated by Dr. Saleh as-Saleh and Published by Dar al-Bukhari


"Allah will give shade to seven, on the Day when there will be no shade but His."

(These seven persons are):

• A just ruler,
• A youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, (i.e. worships Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala sincerely from his childhood),
• A man whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e. he offers the five compulsory Salat (prayers) in the mosques),
• Two persons who love each other only for Allah's Sake and they meet and part in Allah's Cause only,
• A man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illegal sexual intercourse with her and says: I am afraid of Allah,
• A man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity), and
• A person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes become flooded with tears."

[Reported by Al-Bukharee and Muslim. The text is that of Al-Bukharee: Saheeh Al-Bukharee, V.1, Hadeeth #629.]

If you contemplate about the seven whom Allah will shade in the shade of His `Arsh wherein there is no shade but His, you will find that they deserved that shade because of their opposition to al-Hawa. Indeed the Imam having authority and power will not be able to establish justice except by opposing his Hawa. And with respect to the youth who prefers the sincere worship of Allah over the urge of his youthfulness, had it not been for the opposition of his Hawa, he would not be able to accomplish this state of worship. As to the person whose heart is attached to the mosques, the thing that drove him to this condition is the opposition of al-Hawa which invites him to the places of lusts.


Concerning the person who gives charitable gifts secretly so that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given, had it not been for his subduing of his Hawa, he would not have been able to attain this state. And the person who was invited by a charming woman of noble birth (to have illegal sexual intercourse with her), feared Allah and opposed his Hawa. As to the one who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes become flooded with tears for fearing Him, the thing that made him reach this state is the opposing of his Hawa. Consequently, they were saved from being affected by the intense heat of the Al-Mawqif on the Day of Resurrection and the sweating therein. The people (adhering to) Al-Hawa will experience the utmost degree of intense heat and sweating while they are waiting to enter the "Prison of Al-Hawa".


Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala is the One to be petitioned to grant us protection from the Ahwas; (Sing. Hawa) of ourselves which are inclined to evil, and that He makes our Hawa in accordance with what He loves and is acceptable to Him. He has power over all things, and He is most worthy of answering our petition.

------------------

P.S. Hawaa = desires of the self or nafs.

If somebody can provide a better translation for "hawaa", please do so. Jazakallah khair.

[Alpha Dude]

I think we're just over analysing. Hating in this context can refer to nothing else but being in a state of humility over our sins in front of Allah.

We all sin and if we were to feel guilty over them (even the seemingly insignificant ones), then humility would be a natural emotion that would arise when approaching Allah. It depends on the weight we assign to our sins. Of course, this doesn't take away from the fact that Allah is All Merciful and will forgive anything, but we don't know for sure if our repentance is going to be accepted, hence it's always better to assume the default position of humility.

[Flame of Hope]

:sl:

Hating in this context can refer to nothing else but being in a state of humility over our sins in front of Allah.

That's a nice way of looking at it. :) I agree.

Jazakallah khair for providing this perspective.

[Abu Qawqah]

The Dispraise of Hawaa

Imam ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah rahimahullah

Translated by Dr. Saleh as-Saleh and Published by Dar al-Bukhari


"Allah will give shade to seven, on the Day when there will be no shade but His."

(These seven persons are):

• A just ruler,
• A youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, (i.e. worships Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala sincerely from his childhood),
• A man whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e. he offers the five compulsory Salat (prayers) in the mosques),
• Two persons who love each other only for Allah's Sake and they meet and part in Allah's Cause only,
• A man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illegal sexual intercourse with her and says: I am afraid of Allah,
• A man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity), and
• A person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes become flooded with tears."

[Reported by Al-Bukharee and Muslim. The text is that of Al-Bukharee: Saheeh Al-Bukharee, V.1, Hadeeth #629.]

If you contemplate about the seven whom Allah will shade in the shade of His `Arsh wherein there is no shade but His, you will find that they deserved that shade because of their opposition to al-Hawa. Indeed the Imam having authority and power will not be able to establish justice except by opposing his Hawa. And with respect to the youth who prefers the sincere worship of Allah over the urge of his youthfulness, had it not been for the opposition of his Hawa, he would not be able to accomplish this state of worship. As to the person whose heart is attached to the mosques, the thing that drove him to this condition is the opposition of al-Hawa which invites him to the places of lusts.


Concerning the person who gives charitable gifts secretly so that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given, had it not been for his subduing of his Hawa, he would not have been able to attain this state. And the person who was invited by a charming woman of noble birth (to have illegal sexual intercourse with her), feared Allah and opposed his Hawa. As to the one who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes become flooded with tears for fearing Him, the thing that made him reach this state is the opposing of his Hawa. Consequently, they were saved from being affected by the intense heat of the Al-Mawqif on the Day of Resurrection and the sweating therein. The people (adhering to) Al-Hawa will experience the utmost degree of intense heat and sweating while they are waiting to enter the "Prison of Al-Hawa".


Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala is the One to be petitioned to grant us protection from the Ahwas; (Sing. Hawa) of ourselves which are inclined to evil, and that He makes our Hawa in accordance with what He loves and is acceptable to Him. He has power over all things, and He is most worthy of answering our petition.

------------------

P.S. Hawaa = desires of the self or nafs.

If somebody can provide a better translation for "hawaa", please do so. Jazakallah khair.

I love this message so much because it encompasses everything I wanted to know about view of oneself that I know outside of the Quran as well. Jazakallah khayran for this explanation ❤️