A question on everyone's mind...!!??

[anonymous]

Salaam,

Dear brothers and sisters,

Something that has always been on my mind and I'm sure yours also is marriage. Now I have wanted to get married from such a young age and it hasnt happened yet. I'm nearly 25 female and not married. I'm not worried just yet but after ramadhan hen I hit 25 I will really feel need to marry. I know Islamically it is good to marry young but it hasn't happened for me yet.


I want to know the following;

1. Has Allah chosen who we marry? (I know Allah knows who we will marry and if we will marry but if we do marry is that allah's choice)
2. Is there anyway we can speed up the process of marriage or is the time we marry also predetermined?
3. How do we know If that person is who we marry?

Jazakallah

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Wa Alaaykum As'salaam



I will try my best to reply

1. Has Allah chosen who we marry? (I know Allah knows who we will marry and if we will marry but if we do marry is that allah's choice)

It is ofcourse what Allaah wills that matters, he has already told us for who and what type of individual one should look for as a their spouse.. So it is someone who practices their faith and fears Allaah etc many things that one should look for and be aware of the things that one should stay away from..

However, every individual has their own requirements i guess..

If we arent aware if the person we are about to marry is right or not then we ask Allaah for guidance through Ishtikharah salaah..

2. Is there anyway we can speed up the process of marriage or is the time we marry also predetermined?

Hmm, asking your parents to help you to find a spouse, your sisters, friends. i think i'll let others reply to this question..Im sure there are many married brothers and sisters with experience of this..

3. How do we know If that person is who we marry?

Firstly, you will need to do some research, is this person a God fearing individual, will he/she be able to support me in the times of hardship.. if its a brother, is he able to provide?..if you are interested in them..etc

Like i said everyone has their personal requirements..

I hope someone can reply to you in more depth insha'Allaah

May Allaah SWT grant you a pious husband that will accept you for who you are, grant you happiness in this life and the hereafter Aameen..

[anonymous]

So in other words its free will?

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

So in other words its free will?

Assalaamu Alaaykum

Not completely free will.

Free will would be doing what you want, but doing it to please Allaah SWT would be better, by this is you most probably search for a spouse who is practising as i mentioned in my previous post..this is because it is good for you.

An example is when looking for a spouse we would do it in the halal way i.e. Islamically, by not being alone with a non-mahram, rather if you are a sister getting your wali involved like your father, so like if there is someone you wish to meet, the meeting would take place most probably in the sisters house along with her family and the brothers, where further questions would be asked..and insha'Allaah if both sides are happy things would go ahead also..

i hope i made sense :-\

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[Flame of Hope]

:wa:

1. Has Allah chosen who we marry? (I know Allah knows who we will marry and if we will marry but if we do marry is that allah's choice)

Allah knows who you will marry. But the person who you marry will be the one you choose.

2. Is there anyway we can speed up the process of marriage or is the time we marry also predetermined?

Sure. I did everything I could to improve my chances of getting married. You have to be actively engaged in seeking an eligible mate. Think of the principle of the birds who leave their nests in search for food. They couldn't have got their food if they never left their nests and flown out.

3. How do we know If that person is who we marry?

People's choice of mate depends on what they place more importance on. So you would have to determine what is most important to you. Is it religion, looks and beauty, wealth or status.

Advice is of course to marry for religion. A person who is God-fearing.