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Who Am I?
05-27-2011, 05:10 PM
... like a giant vacuum.

I just had a rather heated argument with a Christian friend of mine. I told him I was considering Islam and was studying the Qu'ran and he immediately got all defensive.

"I'd stay away from that if I were you. They're going to deport you as a terrorist." etc.

We're not really talking anymore now because of it...

If he's like that, I wonder what my family is going to think if and when I tell them...

I need a drink...

Sorry, I just had to vent. You don't have to respond. I'm not looking for any sympathy here.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-27-2011, 05:20 PM
Assalaamu Alaaykum - Peace be unto you

Indeed..i will not try to sympatize but i will try advice insha'Allaah-God Willingly

Many reverts have gone through this, actually everyone does once in their life time, or many times..

You dont have to inform your parents right away, as time passes when they see changes in you hopefully then you can tell them that is because you are muslim..muslim meaning submitter to God, follower of the teachings of Jesus (pbuh) and the final messenger Muhammad (pbuh)..

I hope it didnt seem like i was sympatising..but i hope you recieve some advice insha'Allaah

.. peace ..
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Flame of Hope
05-27-2011, 05:36 PM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
If he's like that, I wonder what my family is going to think if and when I tell them...
My family became hostile and mean towards me. My mother launched a vicious campaign against me, forbidding my relatives to come to my aid in any way. My husband's family holds me responsible for "destroying" my husband's life. My father-in-law hasn't hesitated to blame me if anything went wrong. I've been made fun of and mocked at. My sister is no longer in talking terms with me. My brother isn't interested in maintaining relations with me either.

So yeah........ it's going to be a bumpy ride ahead. It isn't going to be a bed of roses. It hasn't been so for me..... but I LOVE the challenge, the hardships and the difficulties. I'll face anything for Allah, The Most High! And with a smile too. lol. :)
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Dagless
05-27-2011, 05:44 PM
I wouldn't worry too much, in fact it would be surprising if you didn't come across any intolerant people. Insha'Allah the next one you tell will be one of the supportive ones.
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Perseveranze
05-27-2011, 06:04 PM
Peace,

Kind of sad he said that, I am sure thats not what Jesus Christ(pbuh) taught. He has alot of ignorance and from the looks of it, hatred for Islam. May he be guided rightouesly.
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GuestFellow
05-27-2011, 06:09 PM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
... like a giant vacuum.

I just had a rather heated argument with a Christian friend of mine. I told him I was considering Islam and was studying the Qu'ran and he immediately got all defensive.

"I'd stay away from that if I were you. They're going to deport you as a terrorist." etc.

We're not really talking anymore now because of it...

If he's like that, I wonder what my family is going to think if and when I tell them...
Don't worry. His reaction was normal. :/ Talk to him again once he has calmed down.
Reply

Who Am I?
05-27-2011, 06:09 PM
Thanks, everyone. I took some time to calm down and I feel a bit better. I'm still disappointed in his reaction, but then again I should have expected as much from this guy, now that I think about it.

If the measure of a faith is how much you are persecuted for following it, it looks like I may be going the right way. I'm still not looking forward to telling the family about my new interest in Islam though...
Reply

YusufNoor
05-27-2011, 06:23 PM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
Thanks, everyone. I took some time to calm down and I feel a bit better. I'm still disappointed in his reaction, but then again I should have expected as much from this guy, now that I think about it.

If the measure of a faith is how much you are persecuted for following it, it looks like I may be going the right way. I'm still not looking forward to telling the family about my new interest in Islam though...
:sl:

you really don't know how anyone is going to react. the more knowledge that you have, the easier it will be. your responses get better.

here's a brother you can learn from, Mufti Ismail Menk. check out the general lectures:

http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html

for you and Flame:

My family became hostile and mean towards me. My mother launched a vicious campaign against me, forbidding my relatives to come to my aid in any way. My husband's family holds me responsible for "destroying" my husband's life. My father-in-law hasn't hesitated to blame me if anything went wrong. I've been made fun of and mocked at. My sister is no longer in talking terms with me. My brother isn't interested in maintaining relations with me either.

So yeah........ it's going to be a bumpy ride ahead. It isn't going to be a bed of roses. It hasn't been so for me..... but I LOVE the challenge, the hardships and the difficulties. I'll face anything for Allah, The Most High! And with a smile too. lol.
just imagine that you are in Paradise and Rasulullah, peace be upon him, comes over to you and says, "you know, i know that you experienced the same kind of hardships in the dunya that i did!"

just imagine it...

what kind of bond is that!

Allah is preparing you, In Sha'a Allah, for a great future.

the time to worry is when there are no bumps in the road!

wa Salaam
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Flame of Hope
05-27-2011, 06:25 PM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
I'm still not looking forward to telling the family about my new interest in Islam though...
At this point in time there is no need for your family to know about your interest in Islam. Did you know that the early converts to Islam kept their faith secret? Many concealed their faith. I have done so myself...... at different times.

That's why one can never look at people and judge them by their appearances. A person may be a Muslim .... have Islam in his heart but he is concealing his faith. I suspect a lot of people in the US conceal their new found faith.

You can reveal to your family about your beliefs later...... when you feel strong enough to confront them. But at this time, at this point of struggle in your life, it's best you keep a low profile.... and keep your interest in Islam a secret.

Isn't it enough that God knows your struggle towards Him? And isn't He the best to help?
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Flame of Hope
05-27-2011, 06:30 PM
Originally Posted by YusufNoor
the time to worry is when there are no bumps in the road!
Beautiful! :wub:

I like bumpy rides. They are more exciting and keep you on your toes. lol. ;D

Yeah............ I take everything with a pinch of salt. :statisfie :happy::peace::coolious::p :thankyou: Or else life would be unbearable. :skeleton: +o( :nervous: :phew :heated:
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al yunan
05-27-2011, 06:37 PM
Salam dear brother,

There is a well known verse in the Quran "with every difficulty there is relief" so never despair and as for your ability to withstand hardship this verse may comfort you "for no person is burdened beyond their ability".
When you describe your inner turmoil it also reminds me of the Hadith where the Prophet s.a.w Inshallah said "the great battle (Jihad ul Akbar) is to fight your Nafs (negative character traits)"
The reward for which is one of the highest placements in Islam.
So take heart you are already on a glorious path that leads to the Road of the Righteous (Siratal Mustaqim).
There are already so many of us who look at you and see ourselves years ago taking our first steps so please keep in mind that you honour us by including us in your journey.

May Allah S.W.T grant you strength of heart and peace of mind.
Masalam
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Who Am I?
05-27-2011, 06:54 PM
YusufNoor, awesome post. Thanks for the links. I will definitely check that site out when I get home. Probably download some lectures and put them on my MP3 player.

Flame, I am not telling the family right now that I am studying Islam. Especially my mother. She is going through enough with having surgery Tuesday for breast cancer, and she doesn't need this extra grief right now. I don't want to put this on her too.

al yunan, thanks you the words of encouragment. I guess you could say that this is my personal jihad as I struggle to sort out the darkness of my life. It's funny though. When I was living my life of isolation and depression, I never really had anything to worry about. Most of my problems were in my head. It's only when I am trying to sort everything out that crap starts piling up on me. I guess that's the way it is though.
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Revert 2010
05-28-2011, 01:05 AM
Salam bro, may Allah bless and guide you on your spiritual journey.
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IAmZamzam
05-28-2011, 02:17 AM
Just a Guy, I am somewhat of a da'i, you know. Would you like any help in committing yourself to the faith? Are there any lingering doctrinal doubts you want to discuss?
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MustafaMc
05-28-2011, 04:15 AM
I recommend that you not tell a lot of people, nor to get into heated discussions because after a while you may get discouraged. Grow in your knowledge, faith and practice of Islam first. I went many years with only a small amount of faith in my heart after getting discouraged.
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al yunan
05-28-2011, 04:49 AM
Originally Posted by Yahya Sulaiman
Just a Guy, I am somewhat of a da'i, you know. Would you like any help in committing yourself to the faith? Are there any lingering doctrinal doubts you want to discuss?

assalamu alaikum brother Yahya,

Is this offer for Just a Guy only or open to others as I have some doctrinal problems.

Masalam
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Riana17
05-28-2011, 04:58 AM
Originally Posted by Flame

My family became hostile and mean towards me. My mother launched a vicious campaign against me, forbidding my relatives to come to my aid in any way. My husband's family holds me responsible for "destroying" my husband's life. My father-in-law hasn't hesitated to blame me if anything went wrong. I've been made fun of and mocked at. My sister is no longer in talking terms with me. My brother isn't interested in maintaining relations with me either.

So yeah........ it's going to be a bumpy ride ahead. It isn't going to be a bed of roses. It hasn't been so for me..... but I LOVE the challenge, the hardships and the difficulties. I'll face anything for Allah, The Most High! And with a smile too. lol. :)
I totally fall inlove with your character :*
Reply

Riana17
05-28-2011, 05:01 AM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
... like a giant vacuum.

I just had a rather heated argument with a Christian friend of mine. I told him I was considering Islam and was studying the Qu'ran and he immediately got all defensive.

"I'd stay away from that if I were you. They're going to deport you as a terrorist." etc.

We're not really talking anymore now because of it...

If he's like that, I wonder what my family is going to think if and when I tell them...

I need a drink...

Sorry, I just had to vent. You don't have to respond. I'm not looking for any sympathy here.
I need not to say much, i think Ms Flame's is far more convincing than what I would say
But seeing this youtube video of Mr Nouman Ali Khan about "Why Allah is doing this to me", I hope you can find time to watch bcoz its powerful advise as well.

My prayers are with you.
salam Alaikkum brother

(P.S. I changed my username)
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Riana17
05-28-2011, 05:07 AM
Originally Posted by Flame

Beautiful! :wub:

I like bumpy rides. They are more exciting and keep you on your toes. lol. ;D

Yeah............ I take everything with a pinch of salt. :statisfie :happy::peace::coolious::p :thankyou: Or else life would be unbearable. :skeleton: +o( :nervous: :phew :heated:
You are my IDOL !!!
I pray inshallah I will be like you, now thinking about moving to different place (same company) Im already kind of upset LOOOL so weeak
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Who Am I?
05-28-2011, 10:21 AM
Thanks all again for your replies.

Yahya Sulaiman, I do have some doctrinal issues, but I am leaving in a few minutes and will be gone for most of the day, so I do not have time to discuss them right now. When I get back, we can talk about it if you like.

Riana17, I did not realize who that was until you told me that you changed your name.

MustafaMC, I think that is a good idea. I talked to my mom yesterday about her upcoming surgery but I didn't mention that I've been studying Islam. She doesn't need that extra stress right now.
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Riana17
05-28-2011, 10:26 AM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
Thanks all again for your replies.

Yahya Sulaiman, I do have some doctrinal issues, but I am leaving in a few minutes and will be gone for most of the day, so I do not have time to discuss them right now. When I get back, we can talk about it if you like.

Riana17, I did not realize who that was until you told me that you changed your name.

MustafaMC, I think that is a good idea. I talked to my mom yesterday about her upcoming surgery but I didn't mention that I've been studying Islam. She doesn't need that extra stress right now.
reading this reply from u, i feel i am the useless in this thread:exhausted
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marwen
05-28-2011, 10:40 AM
Salam brother Just-a-Guy,

I see you are sincere in your search of the truth, and I think that's all you need to see the right path. What you need is to do what is right for you in this life and in afterlife. You must be kind with your friends and your family and never leave them, but you should keep in mind that in the day of judgement, they will not be able to help you too much, if you didn't do the right thing. You'll be accounted for your own faith. Like brothers said above, try to learn about islam and if you saw the truth in islam, you should do what you think is right for you.

Good luck.
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ProudMuslimSis
05-28-2011, 11:51 AM
I think it is wise to communicate with the above members to answer all of your questions, so that the nay sayers do not effect you as much.

For example, Flame feels comfortable with her decision and it it shows!
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Asiyah3
05-28-2011, 12:22 PM
Salaam brother,

May Allah make things easy for you.
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Dagless
05-28-2011, 12:58 PM
Originally Posted by al yunan
assalamu alaikum brother Yahya,

Is this offer for Just a Guy only or open to others as I have some doctrinal problems.

Masalam
There is a "Clarifications about Islam" section in the forum :p
I say this because there have been a few times where I've had questions but have not been satisfied with the answer from person A but person B's answer convinced me. Then other times person B didn't have it but person F did.
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Who Am I?
05-28-2011, 03:40 PM
Originally Posted by Riana17
reading this reply from u, i feel i am the useless in this thread:exhausted
No, sister, far from it. I was in a hurry to post that this morning because I had somewhere to be, but I wanted to acknowledge you all the same.

I will be sure to check out the clarifications section, thanks.
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Just_A_Girl13
05-28-2011, 03:56 PM
Salam brother,

It is unfortunate that your friend said that, however you can show him that you are still the same person you have always been by forgiving him as Allah (s.w.t.) takes mercy on us. Perhaps after seeing your goodness he will see what a beautiful way of life Islam truly is and realize how wrong he was about us. You should make du'a that Allah (s.w.t.) guides your friend to the truth, and I will make du'a for him also. Inshallah your friend will come to learn more about Islam and support you during your quest for enlightenment. Stay strong in your faith and inshallah everything will work out. :)

Peace be with you.
Reply

piXie
05-28-2011, 04:38 PM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
... like a giant vacuum.

I just had a rather heated argument with a Christian friend of mine. I told him I was considering Islam and was studying the Qu'ran and he immediately got all defensive.

"I'd stay away from that if I were you. They're going to deport you as a terrorist." etc.

We're not really talking anymore now because of it...

If he's like that, I wonder what my family is going to think if and when I tell them...

I need a drink...

Sorry, I just had to vent. You don't have to respond. I'm not looking for any sympathy here.
I would advise you to use a different approach with your friends and family. With all the misconceptions about Islam, in the media and elsewhere, your friend might be feeling worried and threatened. I would advise u to speak to him and ur family from the angle of the teachings of Jesus (pbuh), for they are the same as the teachings as Muhammad :arabic5:

By this I mean, instead of saying 'I want to be a Muslim' say 'I want to be a devout follower of the religion Jesus followed (i.e. Islam/Muslim). But initially, u dont mentioned the word 'Islam' or 'Muslim' to your friends and family, because to them, these 2 words do not mean 'Peace/Submission to God', they will not understand, instead they will understand 'Terrorist/Arab, that is what their ears will hear and they will put their fingers in them, close their eyes and not want to abou hear anything more about it, or have anything to do with it. :hmm:

However, if you were to come on from the angle of Jesus (pbuh), perhaps you will find them more willing to Listen, and more receptive.

For example, if there is a new Muslim and he doesnt want to eat pork, instead of telling his family 'Islam forbids pork so I cant eat it'.. he could say, Jesus never ate pork so I am not going to have any either' or if the bible forbids pork, he could quote that? Explain to them that if you love someone truly, you copy them.. I love Jesus so Im gonna copy him.

These are just examples, I hope you get the jist of what I am trying to say. Many people do not associate Muhammad :arabic5: with Jesus (pbuh).... people think Islam is a new bedioun religion.

You need to show them through your actions, indirectly, step by step, that the religion these two Prophets brought was the One and the same religion, sent by the one and same God, each scripture confirming the other, each Prophet confirming the other. But we are expected to follow the Last Prophet, and the latest updated version revealed by God (i.e. Quraan)

Encourage your friends and family to sincerely follow the original teachings of Jesus (pbuh) and it will automatically bring them to accept the teachings of Muhammad :arabic5: inshaAllaah (God willing).

Sorry I have not explained this as I would have liked, I have been wanting to open a thread on this topic but havent got round to it yet.

May God be with you and guide u through. Aameen
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Just_A_Girl13
05-28-2011, 04:51 PM
Originally Posted by member X
I would advise you to use a different approach with your friends and family. With all the misconceptions about Islam, in the media and elsewhere, your friend might be feeling worried and threatened. I would advise u to speak to him and ur family from the angle of the teachings of Jesus (pbuh), for they are the same as the teachings as Muhammad By this I mean, instead of saying 'I want to be a Muslim' say 'I want to be a devout follower of the religion Jesus followed (i.e. Islam/Muslim). But initially, u dont mentioned the word 'Islam' or 'Muslim' to your friends and family, because to them, these 2 words do not mean 'Peace/Submission to God', they will not understand, instead they will understand 'Terrorist/Arab, that is what their ears will hear and they will put their fingers in them, close their eyes and not want to abou hear anything more about it, or have anything to do with it. However, if you were to come on from the angle of Jesus (pbuh), perhaps you will find them more willing to Listen, and more receptive. For example, if there is a new Muslim and he doesnt want to eat pork, instead of telling his family 'Islam forbids pork so I cant eat it'.. he could say, Jesus never ate pork so I am not going to have any either' or if the bible forbids pork, he could quote that? Explain to them that if you love someone truly, you copy them.. I love Jesus so Im gonna copy him. These are just examples, I hope you get the jist of what I am trying to say. Many people do not associate Muhammad with Jesus (pbuh).... people think Islam is a new bedioun religion. You need to show them through your actions, indirectly, step by step, that the religion these two Prophets brought was the One and the same religion, sent by the one and same God, each scripture confirming the other, each Prophet confirming the other. But we are expected to follow the Last Prophet, and the latest updated version revealed by God (i.e. Quraan) Encourage your friends and family to sincerely follow the original teachings of Jesus (pbuh) and it will automatically bring them to accept the teachings of Muhammad inshaAllaah (God willing).

Salam member x,

Thank you for posting this! :) I am having difficulties explaining to my family about why I am reverting to Islam and this was very helpful to me. Inshallah after I approach them from this angle they will be more inclined to accept my decision.

Peace be with you, and thank you again!
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Who Am I?
05-28-2011, 06:56 PM
memberX, that is quite helpful, thanks. I never thought about approaching it from that angle. Maybe I've been going at this from the wrong way. I've been trying to "compare and contrast" Christianity vs. Islam. I'm not sure I can do it that way. I just need to find the place where I feel like I belong and where I feel peaceful.

Just_A_Girl13, I have been praying to God that He would guide me to where He wants me to be. It may take a while, but I'll get there eventually, inshallah.
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