Help please - Masturbation

[alitehrani29]

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa baraktuhu!

I have recently become obsessed with girls which is quite normal for a 15 year old teenager like me. The problem is that I live in a western country and girls don't wear hijab here. As Allah says: " The hardest thing to control is your eyes! " (accept my apology for bad citing)

Few months back, i masturbated while watching porn, which I didn't not want to. I kind of lost control of myself. Then i started to reason myself by saying that masturbating on its own is better than watching porn, as it is a smaller sin. However, I decided to stop and asked for allah's help.

Just so you know, I read the qu'uran and pray everyday, and yet I am weak.

Brothers please help me. Also I can't fast since my mum will start asking me questions on why i'm fasting which I really don't want to explain to her. I tried to stop watching t.v. and keeping myself occupied, which works perfectly in the day, but weekend nights... :embarrass

Please help me. Thank you in advance

[alitehrani29]

Is their no one to help :(

[Tyrion]

This is a common problem among youth, regardless of where you live. (I believe that are statistics that point to Muslim countries being #1 when it comes to online porn searches... So it's not just the West) The internet just makes it too easy to access inappropriate things, and since there aren't any real consequences involved... People do it. At least know that it's not terribly uncommon, and it's a good sign that you want to repent and do something about it. A couple of things you can do to help you stay away from this are the following:

Move your computer into the living room, or somewhere where you can't be alone while using it. Obviously the best thing to do would be to just not use the computer that often, unless you need it... But the living room option gives you a bit more freedom. :p

Perhaps the most effective way of staying away from this stuff is to keep busy. You should try to meet some new friends who are good people, and you should try and be with them as much as possible. Try to get more involved in your community. You said you were 15, right? That's a good age to start volunteering. For the weekends, try hanging out with those new friends I mentioned... You can also try a new hobby... Maybe learn to make websites or how to program. :p Books are a good way of passing the time too... As is drawing.

And finally, if you do succumb to your urges and make a mistake... Don't feel like it's the end of the world. Immediately repent and turn to God, and make intention to not do it again. You're only human, and God is the most forgiving. Just don't go and take advantage of God's forgiveness... You have to really make the intention to stay away from this, and without that you won't make much progress.

Hope that helps a bit. Good luck.

[CosmicPathos]

It is good that you have realized the problem exists at young age. If you continue doing it for next 5 years, it will become a habit, harder to get rid of.

What you can do is start exercising on weekend nights when the thoughts of getting orgasm come to your mind. Running around etc will hopefully reduce the urges momentarily.

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[alitehrani29]

This is a common problem among youth, regardless of where you live. (I believe that are statistics that point to Muslim countries being #1 when it comes to online porn searches... So it's not just the West) The internet just makes it too easy to access inappropriate things, and since there aren't any real consequences involved... People do it. At least know that it's not terribly uncommon, and it's a good sign that you want to repent and do something about it. A couple of things you can do to help you stay away from this are the following:

Move your computer into the living room, or somewhere where you can't be alone while using it. Obviously the best thing to do would be to just not use the computer that often, unless you need it... But the living room option gives you a bit more freedom. :p

Perhaps the most effective way of staying away from this stuff is to keep busy. You should try to meet some new friends who are good people, and you should try and be with them as much as possible. Try to get more involved in your community. You said you were 15, right? That's a good age to start volunteering. For the weekends, try hanging out with those new friends I mentioned... You can also try a new hobby... Maybe learn to make websites or how to program. :p Books are a good way of passing the time too... As is drawing.

And finally, if you do succumb to your urges and make a mistake... Don't feel like it's the end of the world. Immediately repent and turn to God, and make intention to not do it again. You're only human, and God is the most forgiving. Just don't go and take advantage of God's forgiveness... You have to really make the intention to stay away from this, and without that you won't make much progress.

Hope that helps a bit. Good luck.

Thank you so much. This was really helpful. I will definitely give it a try :)

One more thing I was concerned about was, would it be ok to masturbate in order to stop yourself from watching porn? I know both are wrong and they shouldn't be done but if in a situation you know you are going to do one, what would be the choice out?

[alitehrani29]

It is good that you have realized the problem exists at young age. If you continue doing it for next 5 years, it will become a habit, harder to get rid of.

What you can do is start exercising on weekend nights when the thoughts of getting orgasm come to your mind. Running around etc will hopefully reduce the urges momentarily.

Thank you for the advice. I doubt if my parents or the neighbours will find it pleasing for me to run around in the garden at midnight, but I will definitely try to do some workout in my own room. Thanks for the advise :)

[Rafeeq]

One more thing I was concerned about was, would it be ok to masturbate in order to stop yourself from watching porn? I know both are wrong and they shouldn't be done but if in a situation you know you are going to do one, what would be the choice out?

Evil is evil, it is not measured as smaller or bigger. Try not to satisfy yourself by evaluating the quality or quantity of such thing but avoid it.

May Allah help you and all of us to remain away from evil things.