Relationship

[muslimah2010]

I need some help....

Being a new muslim I have made some new muslim friends. There is one friend in particular who is the opposite sex. When we talk to one another we use names for eachother such as honey, sweetie, darling and so on.... Would this be considered haram??

[tigerkhan]

y dont u make practicing friends of same sex. i hope u will find many here.

[Salahudeen]

The terms you call each other are irrelevent, the friendship in and of itself is haraam. Muslim women and men are not allowed to take friends from the opposite gender, all though it is hard to avoid in certain circumstances.

You should end your friendship because firstly it's not halal and secondly, the longer you leave it, the harder it will get, imagine if you stay friends for a long period of time, then you get married and your husband doesn't like you having male friends, you'll have to end it anyway then and it will just be hard cos you've been friends for so long and have an emotional attachment to each other. So it's better if you just end it now while there's no emotional attachment to each other.

And when you do get married, your husband will probably feel sick at the idea of another man calling you "honey" "sweetie" "darling". It will cause you problems in the future if you have male friends because feelings will develope. Even if people never intend for feelings to develope they will eventually occur without you realising it, this is just the way humans are. So it's best to protect yourself from any potential heart ache and misery by sticking to the halal ways of friendship. You may find the below videos' of interest.

[ardianto]

:sl:

@ brother Salahudeen

There are two groups of the first generation of Muslims, they are Sahaba and Sahabiyat. Sahaba are male friends of Rasulullah (saw), Sahabiyat are female friends of Rasulullah (saw). It's means friendship between men and women basically is not haram. But of course, there is limit, rule, and etiquette in this friendship.


@ sister Muslimah2010

As a female you can call sweetie or honey only to your female friends, not to your male friends. There is limit, rule, and etiquette in relationship between opposite gender. If you want to know more about it, you can ask an Islamic teacher near you.

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[Salahudeen]

:sl:

@ brother Salahudeen

There are two groups of the first generation of Muslims, they are Sahaba and Sahabiyat. Sahaba are male friends of Rasulullah (saw), Sahabiyat are female friends of Rasulullah (saw). It's means friendship between men and women basically is not haram. But of course, there is limit, rule, and etiquette in this friendship.

Well brother it depends on your definition of friendship? to me friendship means to meet a person and mix with them often, and talk with them often, are you claiming this is allowed in Islam for a boy and girl to do this without need or necessity? Here is the opinion of a scholar on free mixing between genders.

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.

Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:

Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning); "...for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs..."

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:
‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."We know that the intermingling, mixing and crowding together of men and women is part of today’s unavoidable yet regrettable affliction in most places, such as markets, hospitals, colleges, etc., but:

· We will not willfully choose or accept mixing and crowding, particularly in religious classes and council meetings in Islamic Centers.

· We take precautions to avoid meeting and mixing of men and women as much as possible while at the same time achieving desired goals and objectives. This result can be achieved by designating separate places assigned for men and women, using different doors for each, utilizing modern means of communication such as microphones, video recorders etc., and expediting efforts to have enough female teachers to teach women, etc.

· We show fear of Allaah as much as we can by not looking at members of the opposite sex and by applying self-restraint.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/1200/

[Insaanah]

:sl:

Sahaba are male friends of Rasulullah (saw), Sahabiyat are female friends of Rasulullah (saw).

To clarify, the definition of a sahaabi (plural sahaabah) is "a person who had the privilege of meeting the Prophet :saws: and died believing in him".

Source: Usool al-Hadeeth, by Dr Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips.

The companions of the Prophet :saws: are the most famous sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them). A sahaabi is not, by definition, a friend of the Prophet :saws:, although of course, some of the men amongst them did happen to be.

:sl:

[Salahudeen]

:sl:



To clarify, the definition of a sahaabi (plural sahaabah) is "a person who had the privilege of meeting the Prophet :saws: and died believing in him".

Source: Usool al-Hadeeth, by Dr Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips.

The companions of the Prophet :saws: are the most famous sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them). A sahaabi is not, by definition, a friend of the Prophet :saws:, although of course, some of them did happen to be.

:sl:

Sister insaanah, just to clarify, are you saying the prophet (saw) had female friends who happened to be sahabiyaat? Or you mean just the male companions sometimes happened to be friends?

[Insaanah]

Sister insaanah, just to clarify, are you saying the prophet (saw) had female friends who happened to be sahabiyaat?

No. I meant that being a sahaabi or sahaabiah does not imply friendship with the Prophet :saws:

Or you mean just the male companions sometimes happened to be friends?

Yes, only the males, I meant. i.e some of the male sahaabah were friends of the Prophet :saws:. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I've edited my original post to reflect that.

Jazaakallah khayr for pointing that out.

:sl:

[ardianto]

Well brother it depends on your definition of friendship? to me friendship means to meet a person and mix with them often, and talk with them often, are you claiming this is allowed in Islam for a boy and girl to do this without need or necessity?

If I have a female friend, it's means I make a friendship with her. There is no prohibition for it. But is a Muslim male allowed to meet a woman and talks with her to often without need and necessity ?. As I said before, there is limit, rule and etiquette in friendship.

Bro, I corrected your statement (Muslim women and men are not allowed to take friends from the opposite gender) because there is no prohibition to take opposite gender as friends. Rasulullah (saw) had many female friends that called Sahabiyat. But Muslims are not allowed to break the limit, rule, and etiquette in this friendship.

Here is the opinion of a scholar on free mixing between genders.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/1200/

All Ulama agree, free mixing is haram. But Ulama not in single opinion about which mixing that free mixing, which mixing that not free mixing. In example, in a wedding party in a big hall, women are sitting in the left side, men are sitting in the right side, and there is large space between them. Some Ulama say, it's free mixing, but other Ulama say it's mixing but not free mixing.

[Salahudeen]

If I have a female friend, it's means I make a friendship with her. There is no prohibition for it. But is a Muslim male allowed to meet a woman and talks with her to often without need and necessity ?. As I said before, there is limit, rule and etiquette in friendship.

Bro, I corrected your statement (Muslim women and men are not allowed to take friends from the opposite gender) because there is no prohibition to take opposite gender as friends. Rasulullah (saw) had many female friends that called Sahabiyat. But Muslims are not allowed to break the limit, rule, and etiquette in this friendship.


All Ulama agree, free mixing is haram. But Ulama not in single opinion about which mixing that free mixing, which mixing that not free mixing. In example, in a wedding party in a big hall, women are sitting in the left side, men are sitting in the right side, and there is large space between them. Some Ulama say, it's free mixing, but other Ulama say it's mixing but not free mixing.

Interesting, wouldn't your friendship with her be classed as mixing with the opposite gender unnecessarily? And also aren't we commanded to lower our gazes from looking at the opposite gender so how are we gonna be friends with them when we're not supposed to look at them :s

[ardianto]

:sl:



To clarify, the definition of a sahaabi (plural sahaabah) is "a person who had the privilege of meeting the Prophet :saws: and died believing in him".

Source: Usool al-Hadeeth, by Dr Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips.

The companions of the Prophet :saws: are the most famous sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them). A sahaabi is not, by definition, a friend of the Prophet :saws:, although of course, some of the men amongst them did happen to be.

:sl:

:sl:

Thanks for clarify, my Arabic is very bad.

Actually I agree with brother Salahudeen, everyone have their definition of friendship. I have read many stories about Sahabiyat, and their relationship with Rasulullah (saw) is friendship according to my definition. And from what I know, friendship like this is not haram.

[ardianto]

Interesting, wouldn't your friendship with her be classed as mixing with the opposite gender unnecessarily? And also aren't we commanded to lower our gazes from looking at the opposite gender so how are we gonna be friends with them when we're not supposed to look at them :s

Excuse me bro. But your post heard like you accuse me break the limit, rule, and etiquette in relationship with opposite gender.

[Salahudeen]

Excuse me bro. But your post heard like you accuse me break the limit, rule, and etiquette in relationship with opposite gender.

lost in translation :statisfie

[Flame of Hope]

:sl:

I need some help....

Being a new muslim I have made some new muslim friends. There is one friend in particular who is the opposite sex. When we talk to one another we use names for eachother such as honey, sweetie, darling and so on.... Would this be considered haram??

What is haram depends quite a bit upon circumstances. As a general rule, it is recommended that men and women do not mix freely with each other. One should avoid that as much as possible to save one's own self from falling into the sin that follows such intermixing of the sexes..... fornication and adultery.

I do not know what your circumstances are, nor do I know which country you live in. If you are working in America for example, it is next to impossible avoiding interaction with the opposite sex. America is not a Muslim country and things are not catered to or tailored for the safety and welfare of Muslim women. So I can understand the difficulty you might be encountering if such is your situation.

But regardless of where you live, you can definitely make an attempt to reduce your interaction with the opposite gender. There is really no need to engage in frivolities. Remember that in Islam, a Muslim woman must guard her honor and self-respect. Learn modesty, my dear sister.

You say that your male friend is also Muslim. Well, he doesn't seem to know much of his religion if he calls you honey, sweetie or darling. It is better for you not to have such a man for a friend.

Choose your friends wisely.

[muslimah2010]

Thank you all for your replies.

Here is an update: He now tells me he loves me. Maybe I need to end this...
It may also be worth mentioning that he sees us as a real brother and sister. Is this even possible in Islam?

[Salahudeen]

Thank you all for your replies.

Here is an update: He now tells me he loves me. Maybe I need to end this...
It may also be worth mentioning that he sees us as a real brother and sister. Is this even possible in Islam?

Sister this will most likely happen with any man you befriend, this is why the sheikhs' in the video's that I posted said free mixing between genders shouldn't be done without necessity. I think you should end it because his feelings for you will continue to develope. By the sounds of it he's getting pretty emotionally involved which means he's going to have a fit when you break away but the sooner you do it the better, like I said, when you get married your husband if he's religious will not like the idea of another non mehram man being friends with his wife and chatting/mixing with her without reason.

Would you be ok with your husband having female friends that he chats with often and mixes with, and they tell him they love him? and they call him sweetie and hunni? I know at the moment its irrelevant cos you're not married but think about the future when you are, and if you're husband had a female friend who he was pretty tight with cos they'd been friends for years. Would you be happy with it? another woman calling your man up like his best friend and chatting with him while you're standing there :hmm:

I don't know maybe men are different to women in this regard but I don't think many men will be happy about their wife being friends with non mehram guys and socialising/mixing with them when there's no need to.

Do you like this man in anyway more than a friend?

[ardianto]

:sl:

Not every person have a braveness to confess if he/she is wrong. Confession is something that embarassing. Embarassing for me too, but, it's OK.

I made a great mistake because I didn't notice carefully on sister Muslimah2010 first post. I thought she's talking about group of Muslims which one of them is male and other are females, and they called honey, sweetie, darling to each other. But after she made her next post, I just realized if actually she 's talking about relationship between her and a non-mahram male which they call honey, sweetie to each other.

@ sister Muslimah2010 : Ignore my statements and follow advices from brother Salahudeen. He is right.

@ brother Salahudeen : I am sorry, and thank for this great lesson, Jazak Allah Khayr.

[Salahudeen]

:sl:

Not every person have a braveness to confess if he/she is wrong. Confession is something that embarassing. Embarassing for me too, but, it's OK.

I made a great mistake because I didn't notice carefully on sister Muslimah2010 first post. I thought she's talking about group of Muslims which one of them is male and other are females, and they called honey, sweetie, darling to each other. But after she made her next post, I just realized if actually she 's talking about relationship between her and a non-mahram male which they call honey, sweetie to each other.

@ sister Muslimah2010 : Ignore my statements and follow advices from brother Salahudeen. He is right.

@ brother Salahudeen : I am sorry, and thank for this great lesson, Jazak Allah Khayr.

There's no embarressment in saying you misunderstood things akhi, it is a very admirable and praiseworthy trait that you possesse. The ability to say you were wrong is something that many people don't have, so you're very unique and blessed in this regard. Often our ego's come in the way of us admitting our own mistakes and shortcomings, even I am guilty of this at times, part of being human I guess. I'm full of admiration for you right now and make du'a Allah gives me this attribute also.

[muslimah2010]

At this point in time I do feel as though I am getting very close to him. Maybe it is because he is so open with me. I do not wantto do anything wrong and I have told him that. He keeps reassuring m that we are not doing anything wrong. I have even questioned him about what if I do go visit him...how will he explain me to others as he lives in an Islamic country. He just says not to worry about it and that his parents are supportive of himo his decision to have me come there with him. He really wants me to move there with him.

[ardianto]

Learn from a mistake that I have made in this thread, I try to analyze this case carefully. And my conclusion, this is an "Eastern style" boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

To sis Muslimah2010. I will not give you a "khutbah" about man and woman relationship, but let me give you a simple advice, marry him as soon as possible to avoid you and him from doing something that more wrong".

[muslimah2010]

Ardianto,

How do I know that he would want this? He insists that we are just brother and sister..
Should I just ask him outright what his intentions are??

[Ramadhan]

At this point in time I do feel as though I am getting very close to him. Maybe it is because he is so open with me. I do not wantto do anything wrong and I have told him that. He keeps reassuring m that we are not doing anything wrong. I have even questioned him about what if I do go visit him...how will he explain me to others as he lives in an Islamic country. He just says not to worry about it and that his parents are supportive of himo his decision to have me come there with him. He really wants me to move there with him.

:sl:

so you have never met this guy, but he calls you "honey, sweetie, etc" and he wants you to move to his country?

Sister, call me paranoid and I may be wrong, but I don't think this guy is following Islam as best as he could, and I'd advise you to be careful.

[ardianto]

:sl:

so you have never met this guy, but he calls you "honey, sweetie, etc" and he wants you to move to his country?

Sister, call me paranoid and I may be wrong, but I don't think this guy is following Islam as best as he could, and I'd advise you to be careful.

Wait, wait !. Is it means she never actually meet that guy ..... ????

Oh no ! I make a same mistake, ........... twice !.

Maybe I must go to the zoo and ask the manager "do you need a donkey ?" :hiding:



Edit : Or maybe I must go the nearest English course.

[muslimah2010]

I have not met the guy in person. I have however talked with him on skype video call and his family as well.

We talk online every day and seem to be getting more attached every day.. I don't know whether to think he loves me as he says like a sister or if he has other plans for me once I am there (if I were to go to his country). As well his country is very Islamic and I wonder if this would even be permissible there (for me to move in as a sister).

[Ansariyah]

I have not met the guy in person. I have however talked with him on skype video call and his family as well.

We talk online every day and seem to be getting more attached every day.. I don't know whether to think he loves me as he says like a sister or if he has other plans for me once I am there (if I were to go to his country). As well his country is very Islamic and I wonder if this would even be permissible there (for me to move in as a sister).

Alright, lets get this straight.

First of all in Islam we don't move in with men ever. That's completely haram. Unless he marries you first.

No sane guy will tell a girl to come to his country and live with him as his sister. Smell the coffee!

This guy sounds like a lot of trouble to me, don't let him outsmart you. He is clearly taking advantage of you. Where is your family?

[muslimah2010]

My family lives in another province.

I have to settle this issue now before it does get out of hand.

[Tyrion]

I have to settle this issue now before it does get out of hand.

Cut contact with him immediately. Problem solved.

He's obviously insane and super creepy...

[Ansariyah]

My family lives in another province.

I have to settle this issue now before it does get out of hand.

We are your family in Islam. I'm happy you came here!

May Allah SWT protect you, distance you from all harm ameen.=)

[Salahudeen]

Sister this is not allowed at all, he is a complete random stranger from the internet whom you know nothing about other than what he presents to you on skype. And he is asking you to travel to meet him?? he should not be doing this, and you shouldn't consider it because for all you know he could be a psycho rapist. It's not hard for a person to put on an act over the internet.

If you go and meet him it could lead to fornication and zina, perhaps this is what he has planned for when you meet? who knows his intentions? But not many men would call a girl over to their country and tell her to live with him, just for "friendship".

Seriously don't go over there because your relationship is haraam in the first place, you're like internet boyfriend and girlfriend at the moment, are you not? You should not travel to meet any man without your mehram also.

What is his purpose for meeting you and inviting you to stay in his house? what does he hope to acheive by this? You're a non mehram lady to him he should not be doing this, I am sure he would not like his own sister to go and meet some random guy off the internet and spend the night in his house would he??

It's obvious from the fact he is asking you to come and meet him without your mehram and stay the night in his house that he is not praticing Islam because a praticing person would not ask a non mehram women to meet him without her wali, and stay the night in his house without her guardian.

Seriously do you even know how many other girls he has done this with?? maybe he's skyping with another girl also and inviting her over to stay in his house for only Allah knows what purpose.

If you do go and continue down this path it could lead you to zina (fornication) so if I was you, stay well away!!! we are commanded to not go anywhere near something that could lead us to fornication and such friendships eventually lead to it as we can see, by him inviting you over to his country.

Shaytaan is playing the both of you with this idea of friendship, and shaytaan is slowly escalating the situation between the both of you , first it was just friends on the internet, now he's escalating it again to the point of asking you both to meet, then he will escalate it again to touching and eventually fornication.

This is how he works, he says "what's wrong with just being friends and chatting there's nothing wrong with that"

Then he whispers into your ear "This person seems so nice, I wonder how he/she is in person, I wonder if we'll ever meet one day"


Then he whispers "why dont you invite her to meet you just as a friend, nothing else will happen, you see her as your sister and you can control yourself, aren't you dying to know what she's like in person"

This is where you're both at. If you don't shut the door and walk away but instead choose to go and meet him, then the following steps are this


Shaytaan whispers when you meet each other " Wow she's very pretty in person"

"he seems ever so nice, he's treating me very good"

"I wonder if she likes me, she's so pretty, maybe I should make some moves to find out"

so he decides to make his move, maybe playfully touching you and seeing if you respond back.

and if you do then it will eventually lead to fornication with whispers like this

"it's not that big of a deal, we'll only do it once, and we're gonna marry each other anyway so there's no harm"

but after the fornication occurrs he runs off cos he's thinking, "pfft what kind of girl is this, who met a random guy from the internet and done fornication with him, she must be a hoe I cant marry her, she sacraficed her honour for me, a random guy from the internet who she doesn't even know properly, this is obviously not a good girl I need to get out of this situation"

Then you're left alone to pick up the pieces. I strongly advise you to not meet him because it will be forbiden according to Islam and it could lead you to losing your honour.

Here is a video of what you two are doing at the moment.






And this is what it will be like if you meet







And you really have to ask yourself what kind of a man would ask a non mehram girl off the internet to meet him without her wali and stay in his house? Does this not speak volumes about his character and what state he is currently in? This should be a red flag for you to get out of this haraam relationship before it escalates further as shaytaan is trying his best to lead you both to fornication.

And by the looks of it, his evil plan is working cos you're confused about what to do, your heart has become blinded with his whispers so you can not see the wise and correct thing to do. And this is what happens when we indulge in sin, we can no longer distinguish between right and wrong, we're left in darkness wondering blind.

But to the person on the outside looking in on the situation, he can see what is the right and wrong thing because he's not blinded by emotion/desire/feelings/whispers that have all been enticed by shaytaan inside of you.


In all honesty, it seems as if he is taking advantage of the fact that you're a new muslim woman who does not have knowledge, I have often heard stories of new reverts getting deceived and taken advantage of by guys in foreign countries.

Perhaps I should relate a story to you of one sister, she met a guy from the internet who lived in Greece but was originally from Pakistan, she was from the Uk. They originally started out as "friends" and just chatting on the internet, then the situation escalated and they met, then from their meeting it led to fornication, then they ended up getting married, of course the guy, he was very happy with this situation because it meant he got to stay in Europe and would eventually get permnant citizenship as he was on a visa before and would eventually have to leave and go back to his home country which happened to be a bad place live.

So anyway they got married, and she came back to the UK and he was living in Greece, and because he had this poor new sister wrapped around his finger, who did not have much knowledge, he told her in Islam the woman has to send money to the man to support him, so this sister was sending money from the UK to Greece to some guy she met off the internet, didn't know anything about him, and applying for permnant stay for him.

And when asked why her husband had no money she would say, "he just sits on the internet all day and we chat to each other on skype" so she came and asked for advice on what to do, she said she's running out of money and he's threatning to divorce her if she doesn't carry on sending money to him and she wanted to know if he can divorce her over this.

Do you not see how crazy this situation is? They started off how you and this guy are starting off, "just friends" and look where the situation lead her to, a useless guy who sits on the internet all day chatting to girls, and uses her feelings for him against her by forcing her to send money to him and threatening to leave her if she doesn't meet his demands.

Of course in the beginning he was all sweet like an innocent angel, she would never have thought he'd turn out to be like this because of the amazing act he put on for over skype. But soon his real intentions became apparrent. This sister actually thought he loved her, she was so blinded by emotion that she could not see how foolish she was being.

The things to note are, she was a new revert to Islam with no knowledge, she had no wali (male guardian) handling her affairs, protecting her from such a evil man.

Now lets look at you, you're also a new revert with not much knowledge, you have no wali (male guardian) to handle your affairs of marriage with the opposite gender do you?

As I said earlier many new reverts get taken advantage of, don't let yourself be one of them.

Now I suggest you end this before you find yourself in circumstances that are not good. There should be no doubt for you in the matter, this is haraam what you're both doing, so Allah is telling you that you shouldn't be in this relationship because he has made it haraam. So simple, just end it for Allah, and walk away.

The correct way for marriage is to all ways involve your wali (male guardian) don't handle these affairs by yourself because men have knowledge and wisdom when it comes to dealing with other men and they are able to see things that women can't.

Please watch the video's I posted in my first post of the thread for the islamic ruling of such situations if you don't believe me. Because if you watched them video's you would be left without doubt that what you're both doing is haraam.

[Innocent Soul]

Sister you need to understand. You seem to be really innocent. Some guys just act innocent saying that they are just like your brother and you are not doing anything wrong. Just stop talking with him. Maybe just tell him that you are quite busy nowadays or exams are on or anything. Then after sometime block him. Please cut contact with him. We are here to help you. You can talk to us here. Please inform us when you block him.