format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
Salamalakoom.
My name is Mohannad T. I am 21years old. I live in Brooklyn, New York. Please consider helping/reading this, I cannot go to my local Imam, due to embarrassment, and they have relations with the people around me, who if will find out, would perhaps ruin my reputation, please.
Wa Alaaykum As'salaam brother
I will try answer your quesitons to the best of my knowledge
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
I am going through a tough time now where every aspect in my life is going downhill and contemplating the doubt of God's existence. I have been depressed for days, empty, neglected, no real friends to talk to, or parents that would actually recognize the value of my depression. I really don't know what to do, and the fact of doubting God's existence is making me more depressed than ever before. I lost my job, I failed my class, I have no friends, my bosses will not pay me for my last work. I am going to get my license revoked, I'm financially depressed. There are alot of meaningful events and things with clear and pure intentions I have done for my family and myself and I feel like, God's if there is one, neglected/rejected my attempt to purify myself and do good deeds, and I feel like God spat on my face.
Are you aware that God tests everyone in their life? Depression will occur, but this should not take you away from believing God exists..When there is faith/emaan it will only take you closer to your lord..
If you feel you are putting the effort in and pleasing Allaah at the same time then at the end you say "and i feel like God spat on my face", do you think what the boss does is Gods fault? no infact it is his and not Gods, what if God sends these times of hardship upon you for a reason? lets say to make you stronger and patient individual and prepares you to be a better and good mannered individual? do you realise these are qualities of a believer? If Allaah sends hardship on us, it is for a reason we need to wake up and realise this life isnt Jannah but dunya. we wont get what we want but rather what we need. Allaah is your lord and most wise.
Have you remembered God in the time of hardship? have you asked for his help?
Allaah says : "Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me." [Al Qur'aan 2:152]
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
I have an older brother, which I don't speak to, which I have more hate for him than my boss; and I hate my boss purely. My older brother is useless, selfish, arrogant. He does not work, he is never going to finish class and he lacks value and principle. He hangs around with his friends, he doesn't put in no effort in looking for a job, he is overweight, he likes to live poorly. He sleeps, eat and goes out. He is just a rock, he does not support me or my father financially. He is sneaky, a liar and a coward. He doesn't see the tears I shed or the situations or stress nor the pressure I am in just to make a dollar or the anything else besides work. What I am worrying about i.e bills, the kids, money etc etc. HE SHOULD be worrying about, what I have interest in, HE SHOULD have interest in, I drive every morning 7am to drive to send all 4 of the kids to school and my father to work. and make it back in time before class starts. And I come home at 11pm and barely sleep. I leave the house, I see him sleeping, I come back at the end of the day..I seem him sleeping/or arriving from his friends. If I had his support in all aspects, depression would've never existed nor would I be writing on here. since he is not doing what he is suppose to be doing, I have to carry it and carry the weight on my shoulders, because who will? It makes me sad and makes me tear at times.
Do you think by having hate for your bro will solve anything? and speaking words of hate about him behind his back will gain you benefit or solve the issue? maybe you should speak to your bro about this in person? try reasoning with him but in a polite kind way..
because that may be a step for him knowing what is going on his family, how hard you work, and the support you need. You should realise that he is only harming himself, example is being overweight can lead to death at times..He needs to be told and not critisized behind his back, rather given advice and spoken to so that he does realise that he is only harming himself so be patient, patience is the answer and actually helping him..insha'Allaah
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
My father is old, and takes the train to another borough in NY to work 8am-8pm everyday. With a infectious foot, it looks all burnt and thick and vieny, and makes me sad he has to go through that, because of brother not helping.
This isnt Gods fault, rather your father is old and he is having to work with an infectious foot, he needs support. Allaah SWT is most mercyful, he gave you parents, they took care of you in your times of need, where you couldnt walk, talk etc..he Allaah swt wants you to take care of them in their times of hardship..It seems you need to advice your bro by speaking to him, he is your brother and so speak to him and you yourself do as much as you are able to..if you feel helpful remember Allaah is there, not on a certain day or time, but all the time, every day, hour sec..call upon him but with sincerety, supplicate..
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
I had this girl whom I been friends with for many years we were best-friends, and after a lecture of some sort she heard and she quickly as a scholar the scholar told, she said it is a sin to have a relationship with her opposite gender, and slowly stopped talking to me. I mean this girl, I adore as a friend level. Because when she needed advice or something I was there and I gave her advice that clearly gave her clearer vision. If Allah knows my intention and our relationship as she is good company, as someone should surround themselves, why is it harram? We barely see each other, we just talk instant messaging. We talk about Islam, social life, school, work, advice...nothing beyond that. She was my only friend, and now she changed, which is really not surprising.
The scholar is correct, it not permissable for a man and women to be alone together as shaytaan is the third as narrated in hadeeth..
Whether it be about Islaam, dont let this false temptations take you away from the remembrance of Allaah, especially when Islaam forbids one from doing such an act, dont fool yourself as shaytaan is indeed an enemy of the believer.
Allaah says in his noble book :
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.)…" (An-Nur 24:31)
Though if you are interested in marriage you may ask for her hand in marriage insha'Allaah but in the Islamic way, she shouldnt be alone, her mahram should be involved..
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
The things that are and fell apart...
- My jewish, lying, self centered boss, cut off our salary due to insufficient funds and not enough business generating. Which is a complete lie. HE is a pig, a scum, he is caught in lying, he is a greedy, selfish person. I wish he would be trapped in a cabinet with a small air-hole, dugged in a desert, I wish nothing but death for him. He yells at me, threatens me, is the cause of my financial depression. I decided to quit BUT after I get my last two checks, When I asked it, he made an excuse that someone has beeen attempting to take out money out of their business account, and had to freeze the accounts for a few days, He wanted me to get another client, and pay me for my old clients, than **** and delay my pay for the new client. He does that to every past client....
Firstly, it is a good way to give dawah to your boss, also it is best not to crititize him,it is more wise to speak to him instead of speaking about him behind his back, if he insult, do not insult back be respectful as it increases hate and anger for the other which doesnt help at all ..
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
- I am technically jobless it is hard to find a job now, whilst I am taking courses this summer. And hate the fact my dad is working in his condition and my brother is DOING ****ING NOTHING.
"The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allah, that you may receive mercy.O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimun (wrong-doers, etc.)." [Al Qur'aan 49:10-11]
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: "The Prophet never used bad language neither a 'Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say 'The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)"
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
I have been praying every Friday and reading the Quran. I been being superman all this time.. worrying about the bills, helping my dad stay on track, send the kids, pick them up, maintain school, and work, I did the vacation for them, I have plans for my family, I worry about stuff that should happen when it won't. i am trying to find a second job when my first one was active, to try and make my families life easier... I don't understand. I give charity, I pray every friday, I do alot of good things for my self and my family. Yes I did some sins and mistakes in the past, like everyone...
As mentioned by sister Asiyah, salaah is daily total of 5 times everyday..if you feel you are superman, then continue to have patience.
You can continue to give charity, pray everyday, etc doesnt mean your not going to die..but you have to realise these are deeds which will benefit you in the hereafter.. And trust me you would rather bare the pain in this life for the sake of the next..
I advice you to read up on the stories of the prophets of God, the hardships they had they never gave up..what makes you a loser is giving up..By having hate for the other is you making things hard for you, Allaah is making it easy for you, by this i mean to say, when times are hard do not get angry, be patient have trust in Allaah that what hardship you went through is good for you whether it be the hereafter..
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
One example I did as an act of an event, was I made a surprise vacation for my parents which they never been to vacation in 40years to south cancun, all paid for. It took me 2months, blood, sweat and tears to get the money with my stealing, greedy boss. They were on vac for 1 week, and a surprise dinner, and a surprise watch.
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
I don't understand why everything is slowly falling apart to me and I'm considering just leaving my family and living on my own, I need help, why do I doubt God's existence? Why is everything I prayed for happening the opposite? Do I deserve this? If there was a God why is He allowing this to happen? Why does he want me to contemplate his existence? How am I going to pray to God now, if I am having confusion in his existence? Why is everything I am doing, slowly fading away? Maybe I need guidance and direction with answers to my thoughts, this really really is a bad stage in my life and it's getting worse every-time, what am I missing? Is what I am doing for the sake of god, family and myself insufficient? Do I deserve this? Is this a punishment? Where is God to help me? Who is God's creator? Why arent we allowed to question his existence? Why does God want us to believe in him? Why can't he give us proof to make everyone believe in God? Why are their atheist? If Allah knows everything whats the point of our existence even with free will? After everything falling apart, I been watching debates between a Muslim and an Atheist and it got to me, that even more depressed that there might be no god.
Do not leave your family, i believe from the understanding of your post, they need you definetly, if you give up on them it will only get worse for them and so you need them..I dont see the reason to doubt God's existence, be sincere in what you do, be mindful of what you say.. If you dont get what you want, remember Allaah knos best, he knows best if this is good for you or not, and so he will grant you with what you need instead.. we humans have not always been wise in making decisions by ourselve, believe me..
There is definetly a God, whatever he is allowing is for a reason..From it we sometimes gain things such as patience, strengh to deal with things in life and all that best for us.. But remember he gave us free will, free will is what we attempt to do by following our desires realising we just want it, but not caring if its good us or not, it may well bad for us. so we stay away from what he forbade us and do that which he commanded us, because there is no harm in what he commanded us and no benefit in what he forbade us.
Continue to ask for his help and if you have any complaint, complain to Allaah, i remember hearing in a lecture once that Allaah loves when his servants nag him.. like a human would get angry when you would nag him constantly about wanting somethimg, but Allaah loves this.. I believe you need a boost of increase in emaan, that should help you look at life positively insha'Allaah..
Allaah says he created us for a reason, the reason he mentioned in his noble book : "And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone)."[Al Qur'aan 51:56]
For the sake of Ibaadah, Ibadaah consists of many ways not just salaah, but being kind, caring of parents, helping out etc but for the sake of Allaah.
format_quote Originally Posted by
MoeeTee
Why is this happening to me? and Why am I doubting his existence? How can I believe? Am what I am doing not enough? Is it? If so? why is this happening to me? I am looking for DIRECT answers not indirect answers (i.e Allah is Oft-Forgiving, He is Great, bla bla bla) I need real answers, please I am getting more depressed every morning I wake up, like I should just stop and do nothing, since its pointless on what I been striving to do.
It is not pointless, your existence is not pointless. You are striving to please Allaah in every way possible.
Supplicate and call upon your lord for he hears all your prayers..
I hope i havent offended you in any way or havent made sense in some parts of my post, i hope it helped a little bit insha'Allaah..
You are my Du'aas and do not give up, may Allaah SWT ease your situation and grant you happiness in both this life and the hereafter Aameen
Also i hope these vid's helps insha'Allaah
.. peace ..