format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
Salam
I notice that recently my faith has seem deter a bit and it's driving me crazy because I don't ever want to lose faith. I am still praying but there has been a time or two in a month that I accidentally missed prayers. I have never missed my prayers, I have always done it on time. It all started when my life feels like its falling apart...husband didn't seem to care. He's been brutally abusing me with lies one after the other and not being a fully responsible man. I'm just so sick of it. So sick of looking after myself...so sick of hoping that he would change to be a better man. I just feel like I want out but I don't know where to go as I don't have anywhere or anyone else to turn to...
I want to get back on the right track but being with him just makes it impossible for me. I don't know how to explain and I don't ever want to leave the sight of wanting to get closer to god ever because its the most wonderful feelings I have ever experience in life so far...its just that it seems recently I seem to lose track on praying and doing other thing that is good...I seem to have less interest in my religion and I feel awful...it feels like the shaytan is slowly whispering and everything just slowly spiraling downwards...
I make up for my prayers every but I still feel awful...I feel as though I'm not good enough. I get paranoid whenever I make mistakes but unfortunately those kind of things never stop me from making another mistakes...I'm not who I used to be and frankly I'm just so scared of myself. I don't want to start going on the right only when ,my health deteriorates or when something bad happen...I want to constantly be a good person and be closer to the creator at all time; bad or good. I have seen people only repented and be closer to god when they're in a bad state. I never want to imagine myself in that kind of situation. It feels a little hypocritical. I just want to always always be good to him regardless of whether im in good or bad state....
Please keep me in your prayers. I am at loss and I'm in such a huge struggle to get back to where I was. Going back to square one isn't easy especially when you're all by yourself with no support system... I have tried to visit a mosque near where I live but they don't seem very helpful. They only tell me I need to work on myself...
Please...keep me in your prayers.
If its not too much to be asking please send me some advices or words of encouragement or anything at all that can be of help to me. Please. Deep down inside I know I love our creator and I love my religion because I always get defensive when I hear negative things about our religion but I feel somewhat hypocritical because...I'm not a good Muslim. I want to be a good Muslim...please I beg of you keep me in your prayers.
thank you for reading.
wsalam.
Asalaamu Alaikum, Jazakallahu khayr for sharing your issues with us. My sister it is clear from your responses that you are experiencing constant highs and lows with your imaan. This is something most of us go through regularly and that is why it is so important that we keep maintaining our imaan soit is always high. If we don't maintain our car then what will happen to it? It will inevitabley go wrong in sameway or another. In the sameway we need to keep maintaining our imaan by doing good deeds and striving to do everything in our daily life to please Allah and by doing that it will also make us feel fulfilled and at peace with ourselves.
We must keep reminding ourselves of our purpose in life for shaythan will continue to distract us using every method possible to do so for he is very well aware that Salaah is our biggest obligation and so therefore is forever trying to divert mans attention away from fulfilling this obligation to Allah.
"I have created the jinn and humankind only for My worship"
The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 51, Verse 56
Salaah is the second pillar of Islam and is the most important act of worship after the Shahada (decleration of faith).
It is the first question we will be asked as Muslims in the hereafter as to whether or not we fulfilled our Salaah or not. Therefore it is the most important act of worship that has been ordained to mankind.
So until our very last breath we should know what our priorities are and focus on fulfilling all of our Salaah as it is the very purpose of our creation.
We must remember that it is an act of kufr(disbelief) to neglect the Salaah beyond its correct time and this is for missing one Salaah but how many Salaah do we continuously miss day in and day out? Some scholars even say missing Salaah intentionally takes one out of the fold of Islam. This is how serious missing Salaah really is!
Rasulallah (Pbuh) said: "What lies between a man and disbelief is the abandonment of prayer."
(Muslim)
It is a major sin to miss even one prayer and leaving even one Salaah without a valid excuse is said to cause one to spend tens of thousands of years in Jahannam and on top of that every Salaah missed is VAST rewards missed out which we will never be able to gain back.
Therefore it is incumbant on us that we fulfil ALL of our Salaah and not make excuses as to why we cannot fulfill it because Islam has been made easy for us but it is us who makes it hard upon ourselves and because of the amount of sins that we committ we find it hard to do even simple acts of worship.
Allah has made it so easy for us so let us not make it hard for ourselves and let us not listen to the lame excuses that shaythan and our desires gives us.
With regards to your husband then sister you should certainly have a serious word with him in a gentle but firm manner remembering not to shout or argue but instead share your feelings with him even crying to him and telling him how distraught you are by his actions and surely he will see what consequances his actions are having on you. You must try and make him realise that his behaviour is ruining the marriage and that the both of you can work together to resolve any issues both of you have.
You must try to start communicating effectively with each other as it is a lack of communication which is the cause of many ruined marriages.
If after speaking to him things are still the same then you must go to a counsellor to resolve these issues. Sometimes when there is a communication breakdown then a mediator is the best way to resolve certain issues. Both of you will have to work together to resolve these matters as they will never resolve by themselves.
If afetr counselling things are still the same then you should certainly consult with a reliable and exprienced scholar with regards to what should be the next step to take.
Whatever happens sister you must NEVER let any problems you have in your life deter you from your worship to Allah. You must put your FULL reliance, faith and trust in him and he will NEVER let you down. Make dua to him and cry unto him especially in the latter portions of the night at Tahajjud time when dua's are most accepted and ask of him to help the both of you to mend things with your marriage.
Then do your best and make every effort towards the marriage and have full faith in him that whatever happens will happen for the best.
Regarding your issues with your imaan then my sister we need to realise and really ask ourselves how limited is our life and how can we really be sure that we will live until tomorrow. We have a 50% chance of dying at any moment and 50% is a huge chance of dying yet we live everyday like we will live forever in this world but we are asleep and so heedless. We do so much for this world and gain wealth, propertys and various other investments but if we die the next day then will this wealth and assets accompany us? The ONLY thing that will come with us is our good deeds. Our good deeds will be our companions in the grave and in the hereafter because they will be there for us when we REALLY need them the most, whereas what we gained in this world will leave us at the point of death.
So is it wise to spend our whole lives working for this world in expense of the next? Are we going to be here for that long that we should do so much for this world and neglect our final destination?
The succession of the night and day teach us an important lesson about this life; what goes will never come back again. This lesson is only understood by the wise people and leads them to invest all of their time in useful things as they realise that these times will never come back again. Once each second, minute, hour and day is gone it will NEVER come back. Yet our seconds go by and we do not even bother to ensure we make the best of how we spend them.
Rasulallah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) urged us to use our time in a useful way when he said:
“Grab five things before five others: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your wealth before your poverty, your leisure before your work, and your life before your death.”
(Al-Hakim)
So, whoever used his time for the benefits and pleasures of this life will regret after he died and his remorse will be very great at two times:
When he is dying he will wish that he is given another chance or extension to his life so that he may do good as Allah says:
In Falsehood will they be Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “O my Lord! send me back (to life),- In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected.” By no means! It is but a word he says. Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up.
(23:99-100)
The key to success in this life and the next is making the hereafter the MOST important thing to us and making it our main focus. If we constantly keep the hereafter as our main focus everyday of our lives and strive as much as we can everyday to ensure that each second is spent on building up our hereafter then we will not go wrong inshallah.
Ibn Masood said: “I have never regretted anything as a day spent of my life without doing good deeds.”
How many days have we had like this where we have completely wasted them? On the day of judgement we would want to go back so that we could gain the HUGE rewards that are available just for saying Subhanallah!
Bilal ibn ass’d once said: if we are asked: ‘‘do you want to die?’’, we answer ‘‘No’’; and if we are asked ‘‘why?’’ we reply ‘‘in order to repent ad do good deeds’’. However if it’s said to us ‘‘Ok then do good deeds’’ we say: ‘‘Yes I will do’’; we keep working for this life everyday and postponing working for the hereafter.
We CANNOT afford to waste a single second in this life wasting it on that which will give us no benefit in this world or the next. Once our focus becomes the hereafter then NOTHING else will matter. Even things that we do in this world like work, study, look after and provide for family, parents, wife children etc will be like worship for us because we will do them for the pleasure of Allah. Even going to the toilet can be a worship if done in accordance with the Sunnah. Our WHOLE life from sleeping, eating, going to sleep and even breathing can become reward and worship with the right intentions so let us not waste a second more.
In the hereafter, when people are rewarded according to their deeds in this life, he wishes if he can go back to this life so he can do good deeds as he has experienced the hardness of punishment.
Allah says:
They will say: “Our Lord! Twice hast Thou made us without life, and twice hast Thou given us Life! Now have we recognized our sins: Is there any way out (of this)?”
(40:11)
Qatadah said regarding the last verse: By Allah, they don’t wish to go back to their families or clans, to get more of the pleasure of life, or to spend and fulfill their desires. Rather, they wished to return in order to perform and do acts of obedience to Allah - the Almighty -; God have mercy on those who do, in this life, the same good deeds and act of obedience that the unbeliever will wish to do when they meet the punishment in the Judgment Day.
Allah the Exalted also says:
But warn them of the Day of Distress, when the matter will be determined: for (behold,) they are negligent and they do not believe!
(19:39)
Ibn Kathir provided the following translation for the latter verse:
(And warn them of the Day of grief and regrets) warn the creation of the Day of Distress.
(When the case has been decided) when the people of Paradise and the people of Hell will be sorted out, and everyone will reach his final abode which he was destined to remain in forever.
(While (now) they are) today, in the present life of this world.
(In a state of carelessness) with the warning of the Day of grief and regret, they are heedless.
(And they believe not) meaning they do not believe that it is true.
Imam Ahmad narrted that Abu Sa`id said that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “When the people of Paradise enter Paradise and the people of the Hellfire enter the Hellfire, death will be brought in the form of a handsome ram and it will be placed between Paradise and the Hellfire.” Then, it will be said, “O people of Paradise, do you know what this is?” Then, they will turn their gazes and look, and they will say, “Yes, this is death.”' Then, it will be said, “O people of the Hellfire, do you know what this is?”' Then, they will turn their gazes and look, and they will say, “Yes, this is death.” Then, the order will be given for it to be slaughtered and it will be said, “O people of Paradise, eternity and no more death, O people of Hellfire, eternity and no more death.” Then the Messenger of Allah recited the previous Ayah; then, the Messenger of Allah made a gesture with his hand and said: “The people of this life are in the state of heedlessness of this life.”
Let us get ourselves out of this heedless state that we are in and let us make our ONLY focus the hereafter so that EVERYTHING we do we do to please Allah. Before we do any action we should just stop and think to ourselves "Is this action going to be of any benefit to me in the hereafter"? If it is not then let us do that which WILL be of benefit to us. This brief moment of reflection will help us throughout our lives because it will prevent us from wasting our precious time and it will enable us to spend our precious seconds pleasing Allah and doing good deeds.
A clever and intelligent person realises that they have such limited time in this world and therefore each second should be spent on doing that which will benefit them in the long term as oppose to in the short term. Short term gains are what we do for this world and long term gains are what we do for the hereafter. Now if we spend our lives living for this world then we will have gains which are so short lived and after we die what will we have for eternity? Whereas if we lived this life to a minimum and spent our entire lives working for the hereafter then we will benefit FOREVER!
Hasan Al Basri (RA) said: "O people, prepare for departure for very little time remains of this world.
Prepare for the transition to the Hereafter!
Do you not know that each on of you will soon be alone with his deeds and will have to present them to Allah?
He forbade you from sinning, but you have not stopped sinning!
He threatened you with the Hell-fire but you are neither afraid not terrified of it!
What argument will you put forth when you face Allah"?
We must realise that this world is like a dream that will end at any moment and in the next world we will wake up from this dream and that is when reality will hit us but by then it will be too late to do anything about it. Our chance to act is NOW! Therefore we CANNOT waste a second more.
Therefore let us spend our time learning about Islam and implementing what we learn into our lives as well as teaching others what we learn as learning is the best of all worship.
Let us keep good and pious company and disregard those who do evil as bad company is like poison for us. Let us sit with those who remember Allah.
Let us spend our time reciting the Qur'an as every letter is so much rewards that we cannot imagine. We will be raised among the levels of Paradise until we stopped reciting the Qur'an in this world.
So let us keep reciting so that we can be raised to the highest stages of Paradise. Let us also learn the meanings of what we are reading so that we can understand what Allah is telling us and so that we can implement what Allah is telling us in the Qur'an into our daily lives.
Read the following thread regarding the Virtues of Memorising the Qur'an:
http://www.islamicboard.com/quran/13...ise-quran.html
Let us perfect our characters all of the time and whatever we need to change about ourselves for the better then let us constantly work on these things.
Abu Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or coarse language.''
Let us strive to be the best towards others in conduct and let us serve our parents as much as we can as serving ones parents is better than jihad.
Let us give as much as we can to charity for the pleasure of Allah for we will regret the money we wasted and did not spend in the way of Allah.
Let us also busy ourselves in prayer and much prostrations in the for of nawafil prayers because the more we prostrate to Allah in the form of prayer then the higher our ranks will be in the hereafter.
We should always ask of Allah in dua and know that dua is the weapon of the believer and this weapon should be used as much as possible for all of our duas that are not answered in this world will be stored for us in the hereafter and when we see the reward of those duas we thought were not accepted then we will wish that NONE of our dua's were ever accepted just so that we can gain these HUGE rewards.
Surely Allah the exalted has favoured us out of countless people and given us the best gift we can ever imagine - IMAAN. He has give us better health and more wealth than most people in this world. He is feeding us and has clothed us.
We can go on and on and listing the favours Allah has done for us for ETERNITY and we will NEVER be able to repay him back for even ONE favour he has done for us and imagine how many infinite favours he has and is still doing for us day in and day out and still we are not appreciative or thankful.
So we should be of the appreciative and thankful and always thank Allah for everything he has given us because he has done so many favours for us that we can never imagine. Allah gives more to the thankful and increases them in blessings.
-Allah likes those who are thankful
[39:7]
-Allah rewards those who are thankful
[3:144]
-Allah gives more benefits and blessings to those who are thankful
[14:7]
-Allah protects those from harm who render Him thankfulness
[54:34-35]
Also let us be patient through trials, hardships and adversities because they will help rid us of sin and it may be that a person who went through much trials in the world would face Allah with little or no sin and imagine how lucky that person would be on a day when we will tremble for the sins we committed in the world. What a terrible day that will be.
We should spend our time in repentance and have hope in the mercy of Allah and at the same time have fear that our repentance and deeds won't be accepted. Hope and fear should always be balanced and one should not have too much hope and one should not have too much fear but strike a balance between the two.
Let us keep our tongues moist with the remembrance and glorification of Allah, How easy is it for us to utter useless words but how much will we regret when we realise that instead of all the useless talk we did in the world we we could have glorified Allah and even one glorification of Allah like Subhanallah and La ilaha ilallah gains one rewards one cannot imagine. It is just that in this world we cannot see these rewards but when we will see the rewards for ourselves on the day of judgement then we will say "Woe to me i wasted my life in useless talk when i could have been glorifying and remembering Allah."
Raabiah (RA) Said: "I have never heard the Adhan except that i remember the caller who will announce the day of Resurrection and i never see the falling snow except that i imagine the flying pages of the records of peoples deeds (On that day), and i never see swarms of locusts except that i think about the Great Gathering on the last day."
What a terrible day it will be and what have we prepared for it? We constantly waste our days and we do not realise that each day that is gone will NEVER come back again!
Hadhrat Mu'az [RA] narrated Rasulallah (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “The Inhabitants of Paradise will not be grief stricken or sorrowful about anything they did in the life of the world except for the time they spent without being in the remembrance of Allah”
(Tabaraani)
We can remember Allah where ever we are no matter what we are doing and this is the best thing we can do in our lives is to constantly remain in the remembrance of Allah. If we alwyas have Allah in our hearts then we will do EVERYTHING to please him and refrain from anything that displeases him.
The Prophet of Guidance (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) told us that remembrance of Allah is the best and the purest deed.
Abu Dardaa narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Shall I tell you of the best and purest of your deeds before your King, the one that elevates your position the most; that is better for you than meeting your enemies whose necks you strike and they also strike your necks, and better than spending gold and silver?”
The companions said, “O Yes.”
The Prophet (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then said, “Remembrance of Allaah, the Exalted.”
(Ahmad, Tirmidhi and others).
So my Sister let us take heed and make the changes in our life NOW for tomorrow may never come and then we will regret the precious short time we have wasted in our lives on useless pursuits.
Let us think before doing any action to ensure that EVERYTING we do we do to please Allah and if it will benefit us in the hereafter then we should do it but if it will only waste our time then we should not do it.
We CANNOT put this off any longer for shaythan will always say to us "You can change after you have done this or after you have done that, You can change next week or tomorrow". But tomorrow may never come so the time to change and act is NOW!
Al-Hasan Al-Basri said: “
Seek sweet happiness in three things: performing prayer, Remembering Allah, and reading the Holy Quran. If you find (delight in those three things), it is alright. But if you do not, it means that the door (to Allah’s Love and Mercy) is closed; so search for the reason.”
Another of the righteous men said, “How miserable people of the present world are! They pass away from it without having tasted the most delicious thing therein.” And when he was asked: “What is the most delicious thing therein?”, he said: “Knowing Allah, the Almighty, loving Him, and remembering Him.”
Therefore we need to strive to make the best of each second of our lives to ensure that each second is spent on pleasing Allah and each second that we waste on that which will not benefit us in the hereafter will be seconds that are wasted and seconds that we will regret FOREVER!
REMEMBER: The World is made up of just Three Days:
It is reported from Al-Hasan Al-Basrî – Allâh have mercy on him – that he said:
The life of this world is made up of three days: yesterday has gone with all that was done; tomorrow, you may never reach; but today is for you so do what you should do today.
Al-Bayhaqî, Al-Zuhd Al-Kabîr p197.
May Allah enable us to make the best of each precious second in order to do everything to please him and refrain from anything which angers or displeases him.
Finally Hamid al-Qasyrasi (RA) said: "Though we all know Death is certain for us, we have NOT prepared ourselves for it!
Though we know Paradise is definate, we have NOT worked for it.
Though we know the fire of Hell exists, we have NOT feared it.
So why are you delighted?
What are you waiting for?
Death is the first visitor from the Almighty bringing good or evil tidings.
So get closer to your Lord!"
For us to strive to please Allah so that we can attain the top ranks of Jannah then please visit this thread:
30 Ways to gain the Top Ranks of Jannah
http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...ks-jannah.html
This is a brilliant E book for Muslim women
:
Ideal Muslimah
http://www.islamicbulletin.org/free_...l_muslimah.pdf
Here are lots more free books for Muslim women:
http://www.islamicbulletin.org/servi..._p3.aspx#link7
In regards to waking up for Fajr Salaah then you must take the following steps:
1. Try to sleep as early as possible if you do not need to do anything imortant after Isha Salaah because the earlier you sleep the easier it will be to wake up for Fajr
2. Try not to have any heavy meals in the evening as this will make it harder for you to wake up for Fajr
3. Try to encourage your family to also wake up for Fajr and tell them of the importance of Salaah as well as the fact that it is the purpose of our creation. If your family wakes up for Fajr then it will also be easier for you as they would also wake you up. If one or two of your family members do wake up for Fajr then tell them to also wake you up.
4. Make firm intention in your heart that you will wake up for Fajr no matter what and ask of Allah in your dua to make it easy for you to wake up for Fajr prayer.
5. Put on two or even three alarms and put them on 5 minutes apart and put them in places in your room where you know it will be a struggle getting to them. This way you will have to be wide awake to get to the alarms. As there will be three of them this will prevent you going back to bed again.
6. Most importantly when you awaken for Fajr then do NOT say to yourself i'll lay for a bit and then get up. This is the biggest trick of shaythan to make us fall asleep and miss Fajr prayer. As soon as the eyes are open then go straight to the bathroom.
Here are some very beneficial lectures which you should listen to, to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:
Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ
Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA
HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc
Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE
Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo
How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg
AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc
If you need help, advice or anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Please remember me in your duas.
and Allah knows best in all matters