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jimbo123
07-18-2011, 10:04 PM
Has anyone ever used www.singlemuslim.com?

I am thinking of joining this website? What are people's experience with this?

I have been wanting to get married for a while. I have added my name to the list at local mosque. My parents are also looking for me but it is very slow and when they do find someone... I don't want to sound shallow but they are not always my type. I have only seen one picture and to be honest I don't have the heart to reject someone like that. I would prefer it if girls rejected me.

Anyway that is why I was thinking of joining singlemuslim.com. But they charge a fee. I don't know, anyone had any success with it?
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Who Am I?
07-18-2011, 10:08 PM
:sl:

I have a profile there myself and have corresponded with a couple of sisters there about marriage. However, I have come to the conclusion that marriage is not right for me at this time, and so I will be closing my account and removing my profile in the next week or so.

Most of the sisters I have talked to have messaged me first (odd for me since I've never had success with women in my life), so you will get some responses if you wait long enough.
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adz89
07-19-2011, 12:05 AM
its been a year since i last used it and let me tell you just to be careful with it! be very cautious who u give ur contact details out to cause trust me there are some wierdos on there. i had an experience with a girl who led me on to believe she was some one else. she had been sending me fake pictures for half a year, then she actually fell for me and when the truth came out it wasnt a pleasent surprise

but alhdmdulillah i think i have found the right partner now.. if its in ur kismat inshallah you will find some one. but be warned, its very addictive at the beginning. you'll be in contact with alot of peeps then slowly filter out the ones that are right for you. inshallah all the best!
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Salahudeen
07-19-2011, 12:33 AM
I know Pure Matrimony has majority praticing people on it who pray etc try that also.
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tigerkhan
07-19-2011, 05:43 AM
i also recomend PUREMATRIMONY.COM but u can also try singlemuslim.com as purematrimony in new site with less members uptill now.
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Tyrion
07-19-2011, 08:07 AM
Do these things actually work? I've seen a few of the ads online, but I never thought too many people actually used them or took them seriously...

Looking for a potential spouse online seems weird to me, so I doubt I'll ever use a site like that... But I guess it works for some. :p:
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Reflections
07-19-2011, 11:31 AM
^lol each to their own..just ensure whichever online website you use.. be sure to always keep third company...there's also half your deen I think it's called..by that dude baba ali..
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
07-19-2011, 11:36 AM
I've heard that site's not legit..you're probably better off with halfourdeen.com

(No zAk, I have never used any of these sites)
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jimbo123
07-19-2011, 05:25 PM
Thanks guys. Yes I joined singlemuslim today, I just wanted to know if it wasn't a complete waste of time i.e. fake profiles and everything. I will sign up to purematrimony when I get a chance.

Originally Posted by Muraad
I've heard that site's not legit..you're probably better off with halfourdeen.com

(No zAk, I have never used any of these sites)
What do you mean by not legit? I considered using halfourdeen but some people told me that members are mainly from America and I'm British.
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ardianto
07-19-2011, 05:56 PM
Originally Posted by jimbo123
Has anyone ever used www.singlemuslim.com?

I am thinking of joining this website? What are people's experience with this?

I have been wanting to get married for a while. I have added my name to the list at local mosque. My parents are also looking for me but it is very slow and when they do find someone... I don't want to sound shallow but they are not always my type. I have only seen one picture and to be honest I don't have the heart to reject someone like that. I would prefer it if girls rejected me.

Anyway that is why I was thinking of joining singlemuslim.com. But they charge a fee. I don't know, anyone had any success with it?
You can try to find spouse in matrimonial sites, or you can request your parents, your relatives, your friends, to find someone for you. But the result is depend on yourself. If you don't have an enough confidence to meet your potential spouse, and you don't know how to be a gentleman in front of women, and you are too selective, maybe you will not find anyone.

So, whatever method that you use to find your potential spouse, it's better if you learn how to appreciate woman first.

And, did I use matrimonial sites ?. No !, my mommy is beautiful woman and she passed down her beauty to me, Alhamdulillah. My problem when I was young in my 20's age was not "how to find a girl" but "how to say no to girls who fell in love with me", although it's not easy, one of them was crying when I told her, there's someone with me.

But let me reveal a truth, especially for brothers here who feel they are not physically attractive. Mature women look at physical attraction only in the first moment, and in next moments they look at the character. But if women still attracted to the handsome, that because attractive men usually have better self confidence than 'average men'. Self confidence is really important in building character.

So, brothers, if you are (excuse me) not physically attractive but you have good character, you have a chance that (almost) same with the handsome to get spouse. However, you must meet your potential spouse for at least few moments to give a time for her to look at your character. I don't lie about it. I have several friends who physically not attractive, but they have beautiful wives. It's because they have good characters.

My advice, if you have two choices, a good looking woman with bad character, and a woman who not good looking but has good character, I suggest you to choose the second one. Good looking woman with bad character will not make you happy, but a woman who not good looking but has good character can make you happy, and if you feel happy with her, you will really love her, and if you really love her, trust me, she will be the most beautiful woman in your eyes.

And my special advice to brother Jimbo. It's okay if you joint in matrimonial sites, but do not expect too much. Believe me, you will have a bigger chance to get a wife if you use an active matchmaker who knows you personally. You can make a request for it to your relatives or to your friends. Don't be shy, they must be understand.
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jimbo123
07-19-2011, 08:43 PM
Thank you for those words Ardianto. Yes I do know that character is very important and I do have matchmakers as well. It is just that so far the matchmaking process has been sooo slow (like 1 every couple of months) and I did not personally find them attractive.
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Who Am I?
07-19-2011, 09:30 PM
:sl:

I am just such a man as ardianto described. I don't think I am hideously ugly, but I don't consider myself physically attractive either. I consider myself an average-looking guy at best. I've never had much luck with relationships, and I really still don't know how to deal with women. I'm 35 and have never really had a serious relationship.

But this is why I have welcomed the seperation of men and women in Islam. I don't have to always worry about not looking like a dork around the women, because they're not there. I can just concentrate on becoming a better man.
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Salahudeen
07-19-2011, 09:33 PM
Originally Posted by King of Nines
:sl:

I am just such a man as ardianto described. I don't think I am hideously ugly, but I don't consider myself physically attractive either. I consider myself an average-looking guy at best. I've never had much luck with relationships, and I really still don't know how to deal with women. I'm 35 and have never really had a serious relationship.

But this is why I have welcomed the seperation of men and women in Islam. I don't have to always worry about not looking like a dork around the women, because they're not there. I can just concentrate on becoming a better man.
Sometimes bro we tend to over analyse and think about things too much, just do what comes natural to you, you have it programmed into you how to deal with women every man does, we just don't feel confident so we suppress it.
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Who Am I?
07-20-2011, 07:02 PM
Originally Posted by Salahudeen
Sometimes bro we tend to over analyse and think about things too much, just do what comes natural to you, you have it programmed into you how to deal with women every man does, we just don't feel confident so we suppress it.
:sl:

Well all I know is, it's easier for me to just not deal with women than have to worry about all the "rules of the game" that we have been taught by society.
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ardianto
07-21-2011, 06:47 PM
Originally Posted by King of Nines
I don't think I am hideously ugly, but I don't consider myself physically attractive either. I consider myself an average-looking guy at best.
:sl:

Same like you, I always consider myself as an average-looking guy too, and I made that post only to motivate some brothers here who have low confidence just because they assume women are attracted only to physical attraction.

Actually I had and idea to make that post since last month when I read a thread in another section that made by a brother (you made a post in that thread). I could feel what he felt because I had experience that not so different. In early of my puberty age some girls treated me like a crap, they said "eww !" when I near them, and they always mocked me as "ugly fatty". But it didn't make me hate women because I had many female friends who treated me well, and they told me the truth if actually I am not ugly, just fat. That's why in my previous post I wrote "in my 20's age" because I started my diet in late of my teen age.

But even after I turned into attractive guy I always consider myself as an average-looking guy, and it's made me became special and different than other good-looking guys who considered themselves as handsome people and look-down on girls. That's why girls were trying to approach me because they thought it's easy to get me. :D

And, like people say, beauty is not something that would exist longer. Now I am not the handsome one anymore but have turn into 44 years old fat daddy. But it's OK, like I said before, I always consider myself as average-looking guy. And the most important thing is, although now I am a fat guy, my beautiful wife still love me. :)
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User2024
07-21-2011, 07:15 PM
This is haram! Why would you want to waste money on something like this? Just go with facebook, I seen a lot of sisters there but I don't add people cause I don't use FB or social networks lol....
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ardianto
07-22-2011, 04:47 AM
Originally Posted by PoweredByGoogle
This is haram! Why would you want to waste money on something like this?
I don't think matrimonial sites are haram.
Just go with facebook, I seen a lot of sisters there but I don't add people cause I don't use FB or social networks lol....
With Facebook ?. Like a case in Indonesia, a guy meet a pretty girl in FB, they started chatting and made promise to marry. But when they have meet offline, ........... not only different than the picture, that girl is a male ! ;D
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Ramadhan
07-22-2011, 05:08 AM
Originally Posted by ardianto
With Facebook ?. Like a case in Indonesia, a guy meet a pretty girl in FB, they started chatting and made promise to marry. But when they have meet offline, ........... not only different than the picture, that girl is a male !

But by the time he found out that "she" is actually a "he", it was too late! They were already married!
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Muslim Woman
07-22-2011, 05:37 AM
Salaam

Originally Posted by jimbo123
Has anyone ever used www.singlemuslim.com?
I have only seen one picture and to be honest I don't have the heart to reject someone like that.
hmmm but just by one's appearance , u must not reject her ; specially if she is a pious one.
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Muslim Woman
07-22-2011, 05:39 AM
Salaam

Originally Posted by Ramadhan


But by the time he found out that "she" is actually a "he", it was too late! They were already married!
Oh God . What happened then ?
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Innocent Soul
07-22-2011, 06:06 AM
Originally Posted by ardianto
But when they have meet offline, ........... not only different than the picture, that girl is a male !
I think some sisters should also act like bros :D.

Originally Posted by PoweredByGoogle
Why would you want to waste money on something like this?
They demand a lot of money. I don't think it's safe because mostly we have to add photographs in profile.
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ardianto
07-22-2011, 06:09 AM
Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
Salaam



Oh God . What happened then ?
Salaam

Story : http://hubpages.com/hub/Bad-marriage...range-sex-life

Photo in Facebook : http://us.images.detik.com/content/2...04/10/icha.jpg
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Who Am I?
07-22-2011, 05:20 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
:sl:

Same like you, I always consider myself as an average-looking guy too, and I made that post only to motivate some brothers here who have low confidence just because they assume women are attracted only to physical attraction.

Actually I had and idea to make that post since last month when I read a thread in another section that made by a brother (you made a post in that thread). I could feel what he felt because I had experience that not so different. In early of my puberty age some girls treated me like a crap, they said "eww !" when I near them, and they always mocked me as "ugly fatty". But it didn't make me hate women because I had many female friends who treated me well, and they told me the truth if actually I am not ugly, just fat. That's why in my previous post I wrote "in my 20's age" because I started my diet in late of my teen age.

But even after I turned into attractive guy I always consider myself as an average-looking guy, and it's made me became special and different than other good-looking guys who considered themselves as handsome people and look-down on girls. That's why girls were trying to approach me because they thought it's easy to get me. :D

And, like people say, beauty is not something that would exist longer. Now I am not the handsome one anymore but have turn into 44 years old fat daddy. But it's OK, like I said before, I always consider myself as average-looking guy. And the most important thing is, although now I am a fat guy, my beautiful wife still love me. :)
:wa:

I remember that thread, and I could relate to that guy's experiences. When I was in my teens and even early 20's, women never gave me the time of day. I am sure that there were some girls who liked me back then, but I was too busy feeling miserable to notice them.

My biggest problem has always been a lack of self-confidence. I was a goofy, skinny kid, with glasses and braces, and I got made fun a fair bit. That really made me self-conscious about myself both physically and mentally, to the point where I was an emotional wreck as a teen/20-something. I wouldn't even leave the house for about 15 years except when necessary (work/school)or so because of my social anxiety issues. I didn't go out with friends, and I didn't enjoy life.

It really wasn't until a few years ago that I got enough confidence to make my own way in the world. I finally moved out of my parent's house when I turned 30, and being on my own has given me more confidence to be my own man. I could never have taken the steps I have taken with regards to faith 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago.

Now that being said, I still have some improvements to make. I still have my issues with women, which is why I have decided not to marry at this time. I need to learn to become a better man, and a better leader, since in Islam, men are supposed to be spiritual leaders of their family and community. I don't know the first thing about being a leader. I've always done things by myself, for myself, and I have always valued my independence very highly. I'm not used to setting an example for anyone and I'm not used to having people rely on me for guidance. This is something I will have to get used to, and I admit it might take a while.

So for those reasons, I must remain single for a while. Allah has spoken, and I have heard.
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