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View Full Version : True Love

May Ayob
07-23-2011, 11:41 AM
Yes, this thread is about True Love, and I bet most of you thought that I will be speaking about Marriage relationships, or Relationships between members of the opposite gender. It wouldn't please me to turn you down but My dear sisters and brothers, I only made this thread for two people in this planet we might have forgotten, we almost never consider all the sacrifice and discomfort they both had to go through to provide our happiness and well-being,No one can imagine the pain they went through to see our smile, and It would be dis-graceful of us to neglect them after the incomparable effort they have given in raising us up. Yes, and If we can't love our Parent's then please tell me whom are we going to Love and Respect??
This thread is a reminder for all of us to rethink what true love really means to us?
Why is it that almost we always have to change our true selves to impress or attract our "beloved" but we don't pay any effort in improving ourselves for the sake of pleasing our parents?
Why is it that we spend so much time and money in Beautifying our appearances and softening our voices to attract some one whom we can't garuntee will last with us, But we Neglect to even say thank you to our Parents when they give us a favor?
Is it not true that we do so many foolish , silly and sometimes disgusting things with out a shame in front of our Parents and that if we even just think about doing such things in front of our friends would be like a nightmare , because we know deep down inside that there is no doubt that they will leave us, but yet our Parents never leave us,never get bothered by our hasty faults and always want the best for us?
Is it not true that you will not find a single person in this planet that would not want you to get ahead of them in anything or else envy animosity and hatred will be grown between us and them, But our Parent's only wish is for us to become better than they are?
They were never disgusted by our smelly diapers when we were little toddlers then why do some of get embarrassed by their presence in front of a company?
We always hear the saying : True Love is selfless Tell me for God's sake who on earth has sacrificed without limits and boundaries to see a friendly gesture on your face or a content smile on your little baby lips?? Who is that doesn't sleep all night because of our crying and yet never says to us you owe me when we grow up? Who is the only person who would have to face up with hunger to feed you? With thirst to quench your owns?

Is it not time that we stop searching for this " Quest of True love" while we have it right under our feet yet we did not recognize it till the fact that we completely threw it behind our backs? Is not the ungratefulness that some of us show to our parents the only reason why we can't find peace happiness and True Love in our life?

The Prophet Peace and blessings be upon him said:
"Satisfaction of God in satisfaction of the parents, and the anger of God in the wrath of parents"

Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For God loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;- (4:36)
If the Quran tells us to be good to a stranger how can we even think of disrespecting our parents?
While we were with Prophet Muhammad of God

. A man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Apostle of God is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends. (Abu Dawood)

Well my sisters and brothers ; this is an Article I found that focuses on the importance of Honoring our Parents; I hope it's beneficial:

Our parents are the people who provide the most care for us in this world. Unfortunately, most of us often fail to show them the respect they deserve. There are many days set aside in societies to honor and appreciate parents; Father’s Day and Mother’s Day to name just two. Such days appear to be more an effort to make up for duties neglected. In Monotheistic religions—when they are practiced—respecting, honoring and appreciating parents is not something that should be just one day a year, but rather on each and every day. In Islam, parents’ rights are the most venerable rights after those of God. There are many verses in the Qur’an urging Muslims to treat their parents with utmost kindness, to be grateful for the care they have provided, to obey them, and to care for them when they grow old.

Now (among the good deeds), We have enjoined on human is the best treatment towards his parents. His mother bore him in pain, and in pain did she give him birth. The bearing of him and suckling of him (until weaned) is thirty months, When he has finally reached his full manhood and reached forty years of age, he says: “My Lord! Arouse me that I may be thankful for all Your favors (life, health, sustenance, faith, and submission, and more) that You have bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may do good, righteous deeds with which You will be pleased, and grant me righteous offspring (so that they treat me righteously, as I treat my parents). I have turned to You, and I am one of those who have submitted to You.”

Those are they from whom We will accept (their good deeds in a manner to reward them in accordance with) the best of what they ever did, and whose evil deeds We will overlook, (and include them) among the companions of Paradise. This is a true promise which they have been given (here in the world). (Ahqaf 46:15-16)

One point that should be emphasized here is that while both parents are given importance, the mother ranks before the father in Islam as far as their children are concerned. Prophet Muhammad said: “Paradise lies under the feet of the mother.” However, fathers are never ignored: “The contentment of the father is the door to paradise.”

The teachings of Jesus are no different. The Qur’an describes the miracle of baby Jesus speaking out to prove his blessed mother’s chastity; when Jesus mentions God’s blessings on him, he also emphasizes the importance of being good to one’s parents: …And (God has made me) dutiful towards my mother, and He has not made me unruly, wicked. (Maryam 19:32). Also, one of the Ten Commandments says: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). The word “honor” cannot only be defined as feeding parents, clothing them, and helping them get from A to B,“Honor” means to prize highly, show respect, glorify, or exalt.

From the very moment of conception, and as the child grows and develops it is a duty and responsibility for the parents. It is not possible to estimate the depth of attachment or compassion parents feel for their children nor to calculate the troubles or hardships they undergo as parents. For this reason, respecting the parent is not only a debt of human gratitude, it is also a religious obligation.

Those who can value their parents in the correct way and who regard them as a means for obtaining the mercy of God are the most prosperous in both worlds. Those who, in contrast, regard their parents’ existence as a burden on themselves or who become wearied of them are unfortunate people who will inevitably suffer the severest hardships in life.

The more respectful you are to your parents, the greater the respect and awe you will feel before your Creator. Those who do not feel or show respect to their parents have no fear, awe, or respect of God. However, it is a curious thing that today that it is not only those who are disrespectful to God who fail to show respect to their parents, but also those who claim that they love God. As Martin Luther expressed, we must respect and love God so that we will neither look down upon our parents or superiors, nor irritate them, but rather we will honor them, serve them, obey them, love them, and value them.

The importance of respecting parents, however, extends beyond social welfare to the very welfare of society itself, as the family is the basic unit of society. Just as a body’s health is dependent on the health of the cells, so the vigor of a nation, the body politic, is directly related to the health of the families that make it up. Families form the foundation of a society. Where there is reciprocal respect of rights and obligations within a family, the society will be healthy and strong. It is vain to look for compassion and respect in society once these have been lost.

Fethullah Gülen refers to this neglected value in the following words:
How we treat our parents can be taken as an indication of how our children will learn to treat us. Obviously, we too hope to become old. If we do not honor our parents, then in keeping with the maxim: “let the punishment fit the crime,” our children will not be dutiful towards us. If we treasure life in the Hereafter, this is an important treasure for us: let us be dutiful towards our parents and win their pleasure. However, if it is this world that we love, still let us try to please them, so that through them our life will be easy and our sustenance plentiful. If we want the mercy of the Most Merciful One, we should be merciful towards those in our house who He has entrusted to us.

There are different types of parents, but regardless of how they treat their children, they are still parents. Parents make mistakes too, but that does not decrease their value. While we are still under parental guidance we have to follow what they want, even if it goes against our heart. When we are standing on our own two feet, then we have freedom, but we still have the responsibility to respect our parents. We have to examine the situation, rather than concentrating on our own satisfaction. We have to be kind to our parents, because most of the things they do are for us. Today it is likely that parents are more neglected than in any other period throughout history, even though modern life has provided us with more and more comforts.

Said Nursi drew attention to another aspect of the issue in his Gleams:
There have been many experiences that have given me the certain conviction that, in the same way that infants are sent their sustenance in a wonderful fashion by Divine Mercy because of their impotence, flowing forth from the springs of their mothers’ breasts, so too the sustenance of the believing elderly, who have acquired innocence, is sent in the form of miraculous abundance. The part of a hadith which says, “Were it not for the elderly with their bent backs, calamities would descend on you in floods,” makes clear that a family’s source of abundance is the elderly among it, and it is the elderly who preserve the family from the visitation of calamities.

Since the weakness and powerlessness of old age are the means of attracting Divine mercy to this extent; since the wise Qur’an through the verses – Should one of them, or both, attain old age in your lifetime, do not say ‘Ugh!’ to them (as an indication of complaint or impatience), nor push them away; and always address them in gracious words. Lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: “My Lord, have mercy on them even as they cared for me in childhood (Isra 17: 23–24),” calls children, in the most wonderfully eloquent fashion, in five ways to be kind and respectful towards their elderly parents; since the religion of Islam orders respect and compassion towards the elderly; since human nature also requires respect and compassion towards the elderly we elderly people certainly enjoy, in place of the temporary physical pleasures roused by appetites of youth, substantial, continual mercy and respect from Divine grace and human innate feelings of tenderness, and the contentment of spirit that arises from such respect and compassion. This being the case, we should not wish to exchange this old age of ours for a hundred youths. I can tell you certainly that if they were to give me ten years of the Old Said’s youth, I would not give in exchange one year of the New Said’s old age. I am content with my old age, and you too should be content with yours.
(Twenty sixth Gleam, ninth hope)

Elderly believers are more deeply aware that the true abode is the eternal one, and turn to God with sincere devotion. Therefore, they present an example to the younger generations with their piety, wisdom, and tolerance. In short, even though we respect our parents for the sake of God, observing their rights and caring for them not only leads to eternal happiness in the Hereafter, but it also provides us with such an inner peace no worldly pursuit can bring. To put it in religious terminology, abiding by the divine commands results in saadat al-darayn—happiness in both abodes

Thank you for reading , And Always remember a Good deed erases a Bad one :)

Have a nice day

Salaam and Peace be to all.

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07-23-2011, 05:40 PM
Jazakallah for sharing my dear sister. As the article mentions, it is so true that nowadays-most of us hardly treat our parents the way islam teaches us. May Allah give each one of us the patience and uderstanding to fulfill our parents rights and to treat them with compassion. ameen.

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