Exhausted and Hopeless. Please Help!

[Just_A_Girl13]

:sl:

I am facing a lot of trials in my life right now, and I just can't seem to cope with them. I know that during Ramadan you're supposed to try to pray and read the Quran as much as possible, but I'm so emotionally drained that I can't do anything. I feel like a failure because I know that Ramadan is a blessing and that I'm lucky to be alive to experience it, but I'm not getting anything from it. I'm fasting but I didn't sleep for three whole days leading up to today so I've started missing prayers because I'm just so exhausted and I feel so hopeless all the time. I can't eat anything at suhoor or iftar because I have no appetite. Sometimes I just lay in my bed crying from the time I wake up to the time I break my fast because I'm in too much pain to move. I was making duaa up until yesterday, but it doesn't seem to be working and I know you're supposed to be patient but I just don't understand why this is happening to me, I'm a good Muslim and I do lots of good deeds throughout the year. I don't know what to do. Please help!?

:wa:

[Hamza Asadullah]

:sl:

I am facing a lot of trials in my life right now, and I just can't seem to cope with them. I know that during Ramadan you're supposed to try to pray and read the Quran as much as possible, but I'm so emotionally drained that I can't do anything. I feel like a failure because I know that Ramadan is a blessing and that I'm lucky to be alive to experience it, but I'm not getting anything from it. I'm fasting but I didn't sleep for three whole days leading up to today so I've started missing prayers because I'm just so exhausted and I feel so hopeless all the time. I can't eat anything at suhoor or iftar because I have no appetite. Sometimes I just lay in my bed crying from the time I wake up to the time I break my fast because I'm in too much pain to move. I was making duaa up until yesterday, but it doesn't seem to be working and I know you're supposed to be patient but I just don't understand why this is happening to me, I'm a good Muslim and I do lots of good deeds throughout the year. I don't know what to do. Please help!?

:wa:

Asalaamu Alaikum. Jazakallahu khayran for sharing sister. May i ask why you are emotionally drained and why you have not slept for 3 days? Have you got some sort of condition or what has led upto you feeling like this emotionally and physically? I just want to try and understand your situation better before i advise you.

[Just_A_Girl13]

Asalaamu alaikum,

The reason that I have not slept is because I am worried about a good friend of mine. I constantly have completely irrational thoughts, such as "what if he's been in an accident and died?" and I can't seem to avoid them. I have no way of contacting him, and I have also discovered that he may have left the country, which is deeply distressing to me because of the thought of him being harmed in any way while traveling.

Jazak Allahu Khair :)

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asalaamu alaikum,

The reason that I have not slept is because I am worried about a good friend of mine. I constantly have completely irrational thoughts, such as "what if he's been in an accident and died?" and I can't seem to avoid them. I have no way of contacting him, and I have also discovered that he may have left the country, which is deeply distressing to me because of the thought of him being harmed in any way while traveling.

Jazak Allahu Khair :)

So this anxiety that you are going through is mainly related to this guy? May i ask who he is and how you met him etc? How old are you by the way?

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[Just_A_Girl13]

Salaam,

So this anxiety that you are going through is mainly related to this guy?

Yes.

May i ask who he is and how you met him etc?

He's just a friend who I met at school.

How old are you by the way?

I'm in college.

Peace :)

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salaam,



Yes.



He's just a friend who I met at school.



I'm in college.

Peace :)

Is he Muslim or non Muslim? Do you have feelings for him?

[Just_A_Girl13]

Salaam,

He is Muslim. And unfortunately yes, even though I know it's wrong. :hmm:

Peace

[Riana17]

Salaam,

He is Muslim. And unfortunately yes, even though I know it's wrong. :hmm:

Peace

Salam Alaikkum to both of you,

Take it easy sister, I could tell that 99.9% of women have gone through that. I too. Dont be too hard on yourseld, you are not hurting anyone to be bothered much.

Sometimes you think it is love, and later on you would just smile till your ears remembering that you thought that guy is meant for you.

I would personally tell you my personal experience, the husband I have today is not the man I wanted for 3yrs, just bcoz I thought there are more better than him and for some reason I like to run away from him because he seems so kind, i dont like it, the type of man i wanted is strange man, who doesnt talk much etc. then later it changed, i liked a talkative guy & so on.

Now we are married for over a year and I would tell you that MY ALLAH!!! WHAT A HUSBAND I HAD? WHAT I DID IN THIS LIFE FOR ME TO BE BLESSED WITH SUCH?!!!

See I never knew what's in front of me, I regret that i do not know Allah that time for me to have faith that if its not for me, its not for me, and trust me dear sister, husband and wife is not easy task, you are still young, im 25 and till now Im afraid to have kids. Love is sweet at the beginning, always sweet.

I dont know how to say it but keep yourself busy & engage in many activities, Allah loves you, and we dont know what's tomorrow, may you put your trust on Him and lets all make DUAA that someone really good is waiting for you insha Allah. Allah is FAIR, He wont take away good things that you deserve

[gladTidings]

Find good company and stick to it. Do not be left by yourself.

[Lonely Gal]

Salaam sis
I think what u are experiencing, a lot of girls have been there. The only way to get through it is by u picking yourself up and making the efforr no matter how exhausted you feel. If there are no means of contacting this guy then surely you must continue with your daily life. It is the month of Ramadhan and time is going by quickly, dont miss prayers as this time will not come again. Pray and make dua for his safety and wellbeing. Its normal to feel disheartened when your prayers are not answered but Allah swt has a good reason for that. If this is haraam maybe hes doing this so you can become a better muslim
From it. i know its easy said but with time you will feel different. Prayer alone can help people realise right from wrong so get up and do things. Make yourself busy so u can distract your thoughts, easy that is not but even if its for a min u dont think about it, its helpful. Iv been making the same dua for yrs, still waiting Allah swt will hear me one day. InshAllah dont give up hope

[ardianto]

There are two words of wisdom that I often heard. First "Life partner is on the hand of Allah". It's means we will never know who is our life partner in the future until we marry him/her. The second is "Life partner doesn't go anywhere". It's means if someone is our destiny, whatever happen to us, one day this someone would becomes our life partner.

Like sister Riana and sister Lonely Gal said, there are many girls who have same experience. I knew a girl who fell in love with her closest friend , an university student who was her classmate in high school, although she knew it's almost impossible. There was another girl besides her friend, and her friend was very serious wanted to marry that another girl. But she never lost her hope and always wait for her friend.

Then something happened, that another girl left her friend and chose to marry another guy. Of course it's broke his heart, but it made him realized, there's someone who always love him, his ex-classmate.

Now she has been married her ex-classmate for 17 years. And she has becomes a mother of two cute sons, my sons. Yes, she is my wife and that was my story with her. :)

That's why people say "Life partner is on the hand of Allah" and "Life partner doesn't go anywhere".

But, sister, I do not suggest you to show your love to him, and I do not suggest you to wait for him. Try to back to your life and focus to your ibadah. Let what's supposed to happen happened. But always believe on destiny. If that guy is your husband in the future, one day you will marry him. However, if that guy is not your destiny, don't be sad, Allah will gives you someone who better.

[ardianto]

I have no way of contacting him, and I have also discovered that he may have left the country,

Sorry, I didn't notice you have lost contact with him. But believe me, if he is your destiny, one day you will meet him again.

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asalaamu alaikum,

The reason that I have not slept is because I am worried about a good friend of mine. I constantly have completely irrational thoughts, such as "what if he's been in an accident and died?" and I can't seem to avoid them. I have no way of contacting him, and I have also discovered that he may have left the country, which is deeply distressing to me because of the thought of him being harmed in any way while traveling.

Jazak Allahu Khair :)

Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallahu khayr for sharing your issue with us. I assume you have known this person for a while now and as humans we are created to be attracted to the opposite gender so obviously if two people of the opposite gender have got to know each other for a while then there will be feelings involved. These feelings then eventually develop into a relationship. After that the couple will create dreams together in their own little bubble. Just the both of them versus the world.

But their dream soon becomes reality when things go wrong and what happens then is that anguish and pain creeps in. This is happening all around us. So many people get hurt from failed relationships. This is because there is no peace and blessings in any relations outside of mariage. Also according to hadith shaythan is the third person in any interactions of two unmarried people when they are alone together. It is also said that it is better for a man to have an axe through his head than for him to touch the hand of a women his is not married to. So it is a major sin to be alone with or get to know the opposite gender without any mahrams present. This is to safeguard us against getting hurt and being used and abused as well as from the evil of shaythan who is present during such interactions.

That is why Islam encourages marriage. If you like someone who is Muslim then do not delay in marrying them. This proves if the person is genuine or not. If someone says "They are not ready yet", then they are making it clear marriage was never on their mind in the first place. So Islam encourages us to go about marriage in the right way and this ensures that so no one gets hurt.

Rememeber a relationship is not a guarantee for marriage. Many people use relationships to use and abuse the other person to get what they want and then they move on and do the same somewhere else. It can leave the person involved terribley hurt and even scarred.

Islam prevents this from happening and emphasises that true love only occurs after marriage. So many people can attest to this. What may feel like love before marriage is nothing of the sort. Once you are married to the right person in the right way then Allah will put true love into your heart and you will then realise whatever you feel now is not love at all.

Also sister you should not worry as he will be with family and if he has moved away then that is where his life is destined to be for him. So my sister in future prevent yourself from ever getting close to anyone from opposite gender. Only ever reserve your feelings and love for your husband after marriage. For the meanwhile concentrate on your studies and making the best of your Ramadan and every aspect of your life to ensure you do everything to please Allah and refrain from anything which angers or displeases him..

So when you are ready for marriage then go about it in the right way and you will find much peace and blessings from Allah. Who will find our partners? ONLY Allah finds anyone their partners for life. So surely if we go about marriage in the right manner then Allah will bless us with the best of partners who will help us in our journey to the hereafter. On top of that we would never get hurt or used and abused by a deciever.

So my sister there is nothing to worry about regarding this boy. Surely he is safe with his family. So concentrate on making the best of each second of this precious month. This is our best opportunity to get closer to Allah and to strengthen our imaan (faith) so that we are well equiped throughout the year.

Therefore we should spend each precious second in worship asking and begging of Allah for forgiveness and his mercy. Striving to get closer to him through worship and prayer. Our hearts are softened in this precious month so what better chance for us to purify our hearts further and soften it with his remembrance.

This is our chance to put the fear of Allah into our hearts and to live our lives ONLY to please Allah and invest in the hereafter which is our final destination. How long are we in this world? VERY short while. How long is the hereafter? FOREVER! Therefore we should spend as much of our little time as possible investing into the hereafter by doing everything possible to please Allah and refraining from anything which angers or displeases him.


B]The following are all threads that will help us to maximise each precious second of Ramadan:[/B]



1. 12 Ways to Maximize Everyday in Ramadan


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...y-ramadan.html



2. The Inner Dimensions of Fasting - A MUST READ!


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...must-read.html



3. 10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith) this Ramadhan


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...-ramadhan.html



4. 10 steps to getting closer to Allah this Ramadan


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...h-ramadan.html



5. VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday this Ramadan!


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...y-ramadan.html



6. 9 things a Women on Menses can do in Ramadan


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...o-ramadan.html



7. How productive was your day today in Ramadan?


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...y-ramadan.html



8. Immense Rewards for Reciting the Qur'an in Ramadan


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...n-ramadan.html



9. 15 Easy Good deeds to do throughout Ramadan!


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...t-ramadan.html



10. 40 Quick, Easy & Rewarding Good Deeds to do Everyday in Ramadhan!


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...-ramadhan.html



11. Ramadan is not just for one month it is for everyday of our lives!


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...our-lives.html



12. Do we have "Double intentions" this Ramadan?


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...s-ramadan.html



13. 10 Steps to Maximising the Last Ten Days of Ramadan


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...s-ramadan.html



14. 5 things to do on Laylatul Qadr


http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...atul-qadr.html



15. 6 Things to do on the Virtuous Night of Eid - Laylatul Jaazah (The Night of Rewards)


http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...t-rewards.html



If you need anymore help with anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Please mention me in your dua's.

May Allah enable us to make the best of the most beautiful and blessed month of Ramadan. Ameen

[Just_A_Girl13]

Asalaamu alaikum,

Jazak Allahu Khair to all of you for your help, may Allah reward you :) Unfortunately, I'm not really in a position to marry this guy (or anybody) at the moment because we both are still finishing school and I still live with my parents. But inshallah, I hope that I will be able to marry him someday. I will try as hard as I can to focus on achieving the most that I can during Ramadan, inshallah. Please remember me in your duaas.

Peace and blessings be with you all