Destiny

[anonymous]

Hi all,

Has Allah chosen who we marry?

[anonymous]

Brother hamza please provide me with an answer

[aadil77]

Masha'Allah bless brother Hamza, he has made a name for himself in this section ;D

[anonymous]

Lol....
Mashallah he has. He uses quotes from Quran and his Anderson are purely based on that!
I would also like to say wonderful people are in this forumn providing help & support to one another....

But I still would like 2 know if who we marry are they who Allah chooses or our own choice. I haven't had lick on this path of my life and just need more of an Islamic insight 2 it

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[anonymous]

That's meant to say answer not Anderson lol

[Ramadhan]

:sl:

Of course like everything else, nothing happens if Allah does not will it and nothing will ever happen without Allah knows about it. And the question of destiny falls under qada and qadar. The subject is quite complex and I don't pretend I understand it, but here's a good read on qada' and qadar: http://www.dinimizislam.com/mobile/d...en.asp?id=5984

But, if you were asking if our spouse was already fixed for us when our ruh was blown into our mother's womb, then the simple answer is: No.
This is based on a hadith shahih:

On the authority of Abdullah bin Masud, who said : the messenger of Allah, and he is the truthful, the believed narrated to us : p "Verily the creation of each one of you is brought together in his mother's belly for forty days in the form of seed, then he is a clot of blood for a like period, then a morsel of flesh for a like period, then there is sent to him the angel who blows the breath of life into him and who is commanded about four matters: to write down his means of livelihood, his life span, his actions, and whether happy or unhappy. By Allah, other than Whom there is no god, verily one of you behaves like the people of Paradise until there is but an arm's length between him and it, and that which has been written over takes him and so he behaves like the people of Hell-fire and thus he enters it; and one of you behaves like the people of Hell-fire until there is but an arm's length between him and it, and that which has been written over takes him and so he behaves like the people of Paradise and thus he enters it."
related by Bukhari and Muslim

[ardianto]

Edited.

Please delete.

[Ramadhan]

Rasulullah (saw) said "Life-partner, rizk (fortune) and death are on the hand of Allah".

:sl:
I've read that this hadith is either weak/fabricated.
Can you please provide details of this hadith?

[Salahudeen]

I've often wondered this and tell myself that all the rejections I get are just Allah's way of guiding me to the correct person and eventually I will meet the person Allah wants me to be with. But this is just my thought I don't have proof or anything.

But in saying that, I know people who never got married at all and they're 36 now I don't think they'll ever meet the right person imsad inshaAllah Allah quickly blesses us with a partner who is just what we need ameen.

[ardianto]

:sl:
I've read that this hadith is either weak/fabricated.
Can you please provide details of this hadith?

:sl:

Please delete my post. The source is only from few local Ulama who say, that's hadith. But I think that's not authentic.

Thanks to remind me. Jazak Allahu Khayr.

[anonymous]

Yes what I meant to ask was has Allah chosen who we marry (fixed)

I know dua changes quadr and that the day you r born, when u die and how much money we make is already fixed and something you cannot change!


So in the Quran it says Allah created a soul n spilt it into two....What does that mean?
There's another quote which goes something like wife's are made from men... Don't quote me on this one but it's something along those lines.


See I have met a lot of brothers but none seem suitable so i just feel Allah has decided on some one better for me.....

[Hamza Asadullah]

Hi all,

Has Allah chosen who we marry?

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Jazakallahu khayr for your question. The following will answer your question:

Marriage or anything else in this life occurs only according to Divine Decree. It does not mean that a person has no will of his own. In fact, human beings have their own willpower and based on that they choose what they desire. However, their will is subject to the will of Allah and His Decision. Allah does not force any one on a matter but it is also true that no one can act contrary to Allah’s Decision. This rule applies to marriage and all the other matters. The person carries it out with his free choice and it is also from the Divine Decree of Allah. Know that what Allah has decided and decreed cannot be known before its occurrence; it is only known after the incident.

Therefore, not getting married to one’s truly beloved person or marrying an abusive husband is due to one’s will. It is also from the Divine Decree of Allah.
In brief, all that happens is due to the Divine Decree of Allah but Allah has made means and causes for any action; human beings choose the reason through their own will and get the result accordingly.

We ask Allah to grant you goodness, and well-being.

Allah knows best.

Source: http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...twaId&Id=87517

[Ramadhan]

So in the Quran it says Allah created a soul n spilt it into two....What does that mean?

I think I have weak memory, but I cannot remember such ayat. Which qur'an verse is that?

[anonymous]

Sorry that still doesn't make sense:

Can I give few examples and can you explain:

1. If there is person a person b and person c and I choose person a, is that my own choice or wa I meant o marry person a, or is it both?

2. If I love someone but but we don't Marry as parents forbid, is that due to Allah or choice?

[Ramadhan]

Sorry that still doesn't make sense:

What doesn't make sense?

1. If there is person a person b and person c and I choose person a, is that my own choice or wa I meant o marry person a, or is it both?

I don't know, and I don't think anyone who's still alive know 100% the answer too. It's a matter of qada and qadar.
You can go till the end of time asking similar questions:
1. if there there's universities a, b, and c, and I choose university a, is that my own choice or is it meant that I go to university a, or both?
2. if there there's jobs a, b, and c, and I accept a, is that my own choice or is it meant that I accept job a, or both?
3 ....
4 ....

Just look at our choices, evaluate which one is best for us, ask our family/friends for advice if need be, and do istikhara before making important decision and ask Allah that your decision will be best for you in this dunya and akhirah, and it should be good enough for us Insha Allah.

2. If I love someone but but we don't Marry as parents forbid, is that due to Allah or choice?

We are responsible for and take consequences for decisions we make. As long as we base our actions within Islam and as long as we have the right niyat and sincerity and as long as we ask Allah for guidance, then it should be sufficient insha Allah.

[Ramadhan]

By the way, you haven't answered my question about qur'an ayat that you said Allah split soul into two.

[anonymous]

Sorry what I meant to say was Allah creates things in pairs;

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women." (An-Nisaa':1)

"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female." (Al-Hujurat: 13)

"And that He createth the two spouses, the male and the female." (An-Najm: 45)



Source: http://www.zawaj.com/articles/sex_change_ruling.html

[Ramadhan]

Sorry what I meant to say was Allah creates things in pairs;

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women." (An-Nisaa':1)

"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female." (Al-Hujurat: 13)

"And that He createth the two spouses, the male and the female." (An-Najm: 45)

Oh, these verses. The interpretation of the verses is that we all are descendants from nabi Adam (as) and siti Hawa (as) and that men and women are meant to be for each other as mates, and the verses do not mean that we have a specific/particular "soul mate" reserved for us.
let me give you an illustration: when I was still far from Islam, I had a girlfriend, and I really thought she was my soul mate and I was truly devastated when she died from an accident and thought I wouldn't meet any one else and I would die alone. But a little over a year, I was already in another relationships, and again, I thought she was the one as well, until we broke up. lol.

[anonymous]

So Allah hasn't made us in pairs then? Would be easy if it was lol

[Salahudeen]

Oh, these verses. The interpretation of the verses is that we all are descendants from nabi Adam (as) and siti Hawa (as) and that men and women are meant to be for each other as mates, and the verses do not mean that we have a specific/particular "soul mate" reserved for us.
let me give you an illustration: when I was still far from Islam, I had a girlfriend, and I really thought she was my soul mate and I was truly devastated when she died from an accident and thought I wouldn't meet any one else and I would die alone. But a little over a year, I was already in another relationships, and again, I thought she was the one as well, until we broke up. lol.

Isn't it strange how at the time when we lose someone we can't ever imagine living without that person and then a year later we are able to get on with life. But when it first happens we're devastated.

[Riana17]

Asalam Alaikkum

I believe it is destiny, because I supposed to be not married to my husband now, I suppose to marry a Kuwaiti of my age, I prepared my paper for him and we almost did it, but it didnt happen. This is one of the happiest memory of my life, alhamdollelah Allah gave me a man who's 1000x better than him

Lol did it sound my husband is 65? Nah he is 6yrs older than I

I marry my long time friend who's with me while arranging that papers lol and infact the truth he likes to marry me too and in the end I am the one who proposed to him plus I pray to Allah to make our wedding on date with number 7 (theres nothing superstitous about it, its just close to remember because i was born on 17) and it happened, Allah is so kind,

before that, we went to court 1 & 2nd time, we failed to get married because judge were late etc .. so 27 is meant for us

If marriage is not destiny then I am destined to be alive too :( coz my parents may not be for each other :(
Im afraid that if marriage is not destiny then our book of life is not written before, isnt it Allah wrote the major things like whether we will have children and what gender are they & so on, I believe it is written, children are created by Allah through couples, so our partner in life is already decided by Allah but we should have patience and pray it come on right time :)

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

As'Salaamu Alaaykum

I guess it is also in our hands to make the decision in who we choose to marry, but when unsure we ask Allaah through ishtikarah salaah.

There was a brother I thought I would end up marrying but by the will of Allaah it didnt happen, so I guess Allaah has something better for everyone. But I guess the way we find someone should be vital, like having no pre-maritul relationships and so on, halal way and Allaah SWT helps you and places barakah.

Like when you dislike someone you have the right to decline. you ask Allaah to place barakah in that act your taking, to grant you what is good for this life and the akhirah, isnt it important you achieve happiness..

But like if it didnt happen it would mean it wasnt the will of Allaah-Qadr..Allaah has someone better for you. But if you are married but didnt want to marry so and so you would probably say it was Qadr? Like sis Riana said Allaah knows what gender the child the mother is having is, he knows who we will marry but we dont. So basically its already been written, its just whatever will happen was already written, we cant really change that, we have been given the knowledge of the right and wrong, so we must make a decision in which we want, if that makes sense..apologies if i said anything wrong.


I agree with all the posters..

[aadil77]

So Allah hasn't made us in pairs then? Would be easy if it was lol

lol well I doubt it, since muslim men can marry 4 wives :D

[Insaanah]

:sl:

So Allah hasn't made us in pairs then? Would be easy if it was lol

I see where you are coming from.


وَخَلَقْنَـكُمْ أَزْوَجاً

Sahih International
And We created you in pairs (78:8)


وَمِنْ ءايَـتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَجاً لِّتَسْكُنُواْ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِى ذَلِكَ لأَيَـتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

Sahih International
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. (30:21)

وَمِنْ ءايَـتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَجاً

(And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves,) meaning, `He created females of your own kind, to be wives for you.'

لِّتَسْكُنُواْ إِلَيْهَا

(that you may find repose in them,) This is like the Ayah,

هُوَ الَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَا

(It is He Who has created you from a single person, and He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her) (7:189). This refers to Hawwa'. Allah created her from Adam, from the short rib on his left. If Allah had made all of Adam's progeny male, and created the females from another kind, such as from Jinn or animals, there would never have been harmony between them and their spouses. There would have been revulsion if the spouses had been from a different kind. Out of Allah's perfect mercy He made their wives from their own kind, and created love and kindness between them...

Source: Tafsir Ibn Kathir http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?opt...1772&Itemid=86

That is, "The Creator's perfect wisdom is such that He has not created man in one sex only but in two sexes, which are identical in humanity, which have the same basic formula of their figure and form, but the two have been created with different physical structures, different mental and psychological qualities, and different emotions and desires. And then there has been created such a wonderful harmony between the two that each is a perfect counterpart of the other. The physical and psychological demands of the one match squarely with the physical and psychological demands of the other. Moreover, the Wise Creator is continuously creating the members of the two sexes in such a proportion since the dawn of the creation that in no nation and in no region has it ever happened that only boys or only girls may have been born. This is one thing in which human intelligence has absolutely no part to play. Man cannot at all influence the course of nature according to which girls continue to be born with the feminine qualities and the boys with the masculine qualities, which are perfectly complimentary to each other, nor has he any means by which he may change the proportion in which men and women continue to be born everywhere in the world. The working of this system and' arrangement so harmoniously and perpetually in the birth of millions and billions of human beings since thousands of years cannot be accidental either, nor the result of the common will of many gods. This is a clear indication of the reality that One Wise Creator and One only, in the beginning made a most appropriate design of a man and a woman by His Infinite Wisdom and Power and then made arrangements that precisely in accordance with that design countless men and countless women should be born along with their separate individual qualities in the right proportion."

Source: Taf'heemul Qur'an by S. A. Maududi http://www.islamicstudies.info/tafhe...verse=20&to=27

We tend to take it to mean that if we are created in pairs, then that means that we are all one half of a pair and that here is another half of the pair somewhere out there, with whom marriage will take place. This is not necessarily true, as some people never end up getting married.

The ayaat actually refer to the human race being create not as one type, but two types (male and female), of the human species, who throughout history have been pairing together in marriage. It doesn't mean that everyone will, though. That will only happen if and when Allah wills it to happen.

And Allah knows best in all matters.

:sl: