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*Yasmin*
09-08-2011, 03:09 PM
Assalam 3lekum Wra7matu Allahi Wbrakatu

I was wondering, what do you do when anyone from the opposite gender comes to shake hand with you and beacause of religious reasons you can't?
for example do you refuse or it doesn't matter with you , or do you hand them your phone instead ^^?
and do you have any ideas to escape from this situation politely?


I face this problem with my cousins and non-muslims, I feel myself rude when I refuse to shake hands with them, not to mention their faces become unexplainable :\
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M.I.A.
09-08-2011, 04:38 PM
do as you feel,
being rude is not considering somebody else's needs.. so look at it from your point of view.

if somebody does not take your situation seriously.. then that is rude.

do as you feel comfortable or make others feel comfortable,

shaking hands is often followed by conversation.. let that be your gauge for next time.
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Ghazalah
09-08-2011, 08:59 PM
The last time I shook a male's hand was when I passed my driving test, I was so happy I didn't realise what I was doing :embarrass then I quickly let go. But alhamdilla cuz I don't really face this issue with family, it's always non-Muslims, I just put my hands behind my back and nod my head, most of the time they understand, if they don't then they soon will :D
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*Yasmin*
09-08-2011, 11:59 PM
Originally Posted by M.I.A.
do as you feel,
being rude is not considering somebody else's needs.. so look at it from your point of view.

if somebody does not take your situation seriously.. then that is rude.

do as you feel comfortable or make others feel comfortable,

shaking hands is often followed by conversation.. let that be your gauge for next time.
you're right brother.

Originally Posted by Ghazalah
The last time I shook a male's hand was when I passed my driving test, I was so happy I didn't realise what I was doing :embarrass then I quickly let go. But alhamdilla cuz I don't really face this issue with family, it's always non-Muslims, I just put my hands behind my back and nod my head, most of the time they understand, if they don't then they soon will :D
That's nice ^^,
when I passed my driving test I started to jump, there was no chance for shaking hands lol
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Alhidaya
10-11-2013, 06:11 PM
Salam aleikom!

Do you guys know of any good ways of explaining and go about the this situation to someone of the opposite gender strechting out their hand to you?. . Are you worried that you won't get a job if you avoid shaking hands at the job interview? Share you're experiences inshallah!

Wassalam
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Muhammad
10-11-2013, 06:55 PM
:wasalamex and welcome to the forum,




And here's a couple of others you may wish to browse:

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...osite-sex.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...o-i-avoid.html
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crimsontide06
10-11-2013, 07:01 PM
While I think this whole "cannot shake hands with the opposite gender" is extreme...I don't like to shake hands with anyone male or female....because I know where peoples hands have been and there is no soap in the world they can use to help ease my bacterial fears >.>
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Muhammad
10-11-2013, 08:26 PM
Dear brother, we must be careful of labelling things as extreme when they have a basis in the Qur'an, Sunnah and statements of the scholars. In sha Allaah if you research this issue you will understand it better and it will be easier to accept.
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crimsontide06
10-11-2013, 08:56 PM
^^ ok thanks, I have gone and read some stuff...the site I read even stated that 100 years ago, here in the U.S, men and women did not shake hands(out of respect). I understand it... yet...growing up here, some things just seem so natural...like shaking hands, which is now seen as respect.
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observer
10-11-2013, 11:33 PM
Originally Posted by crimsontide06
...some things just seem so natural...like shaking hands, which is now seen as respect.
I totally agree - when I meet a woman through the course of my work, if I don't shake hands with her, that shows a huge lack of respect - especially when she's above me. I think if you're a muslim living in a country where hand shaking is the norm, you need to realise that not shaking hands will be interpreted as a lack of respect or just plain rude. Similarly, if a man tries to shake hands with you upon introduction, he is being respectful. If you feel you can't shake hands, you should really explain why you can't and people will invariably understand and accept it. Understanding works both ways.
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ardianto
10-12-2013, 12:32 AM
Traditionally the Eastern people do not shake hands with opposite gender. Look the photos below


President SB Yodhoyono from Indonesia shaking hands with president Obama from USA. Same gender. One from East, another from West.


Muslim president SB Yudhoyono from Indonesia with Hindu president Pratiba Devisingh Patil from India. Both from East. Look how they avoid shaking hands.

Okay, you can follow how these two Eastern president did to avoid shaking hands. No need explanation, just smile. In Shaa Allah, they will understand.
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