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Ansariyah
09-12-2011, 05:14 PM
:sl: all

Imagine yourself in the following scenario please tell me what you would do:

Someone who backbited you a week ago and is hiding important information about your future, comes to you now for help about their future, not knowing that you know that they backbited you.

What would you do?
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noorseeker
09-12-2011, 05:42 PM
Two wrongs do not make a right.

But it depends if you angry or not, but if you sit down and think about it properly, i would do the right thing
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Ghazalah
09-12-2011, 05:59 PM
Not helping them would probably make you feel better, for a while. InshAllah do what you can do to help them for the sake of Allah swt and he will reward you inshAllah in ways you can't think of. :D
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Endymion
09-12-2011, 06:13 PM


Walekum Assalam My Dearest Sister :)

"And know that if the whole world were to join hands in order to benefit you with something, they could not benefit you except by what Allah already wrote for you.And if they join together to harm you, they would not be able to harm you except what Allah has ordained for you. The pens are lifted and the ink has dried on the pages." said Prophet P.B.U.H (Tirmidhi)


So when they are unable to harm you,you should act upon this advice to Thank Allah SWT.


. Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!

And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint,- none but persons of the greatest good fortune.

Surah 41. Fussilat (Signs) 34-35.
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Alpha Dude
09-12-2011, 07:27 PM
Someone who backbited you a week ago and is hiding important information about your future, comes to you now for help about their future, not knowing that you know that they backbited you
What I would do would depend on my mood and whether or not I was 100% certain that the person actually did backbite (i.e. I'm not just basing things on hearsay).

A man of taqwa would help the person to the best of his ability, regardless.
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SFatima
09-12-2011, 07:35 PM
You could always mention that you heard that somebody said this and this about you, but you don't know who said it, and if you knew you'd ask them why they did that... watch their reaction...and then help them out with their problem. Do not disclose that you know its them...they'll get the message.
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جوري
09-12-2011, 07:55 PM
I am a confrontational person by nature so I'd bring it up, and help them anyway.. that way I can lace the help with guilt..

:w:
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SFatima
09-12-2011, 08:13 PM
lol lily were you born in march/april? or Nov/dec? My sister is like that too, confronts all the time, although sometimes its not the best technique, but if she doesn't confront, she'd explode so she goes ahead with a confrontation.
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جوري
09-12-2011, 08:22 PM
Originally Posted by SFatima
lol lily were you born in march/april? or Nov/dec? My sister is like that too, confronts all the time, although sometimes its not the best technique, but if she doesn't confront, she'd explode so she goes ahead with a confrontation.
Dec 2nd..yes there's so much fire in me..I can only get it out running..that way my anger races along with me and we feed each other..
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IslamicRevival
09-12-2011, 10:10 PM
Originally Posted by τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ
I am a confrontational person by nature so I'd bring it up, and help them anyway.. that way I can lace the help with guilt..

:w:
Ditto, If someone talked behind my back and then came to me and asked for help, i wouldnt let it slide if i came to now of it. I would want to clear the air first..then help them

The No nonsense approach is the way to go, Beating around the bush doesnt do anyone any favours
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joyous fairy
09-12-2011, 10:27 PM
I would help the person out regardless. I tend to forget about things quickly and when I'm helping someone I even tend to forget who they are, all I know is I gotta help them lol. I dont think you should hold that against them, thats their problem. Also you will be rewarded inshaAllah for helping them. You should try gain as many good deeds in this world as possible. If you want to talk about this issue you could tell them about the seriousness of backbiting and that its not forgiven unless the person asks for forgiveness from the person they backbited. They might ask you for forgiveness after that. Also, if you help, they might share the info that they werent telling you before.
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Salahudeen
09-13-2011, 01:25 AM
I would help them, it's the least I could do since I'm going to take a chunk of their good deeds on day of judgement. But also it would depend on what type of help they wanted, if it was something big I probably wouldn't bother.
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*Yasmin*
09-13-2011, 02:43 AM
since i'm naive i would probably help them. (i think naivety is a disadvantage for me always), and since i don't express my feelings to others i won't confront them. i cry alone!
and later, i would slowly make a distance between us. this is why i prefer not to know about ppl backbiting me, sometimes lack of knowldge is an advantage.
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'Abd Al-Maajid
09-13-2011, 03:44 AM
I'd rather not help them.
They did wrong to me so I will do not good to them. I was in such situations many times and I showed them whom they are dealing with. :D
But this will make your friend list shrink...
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Innocent Soul
09-13-2011, 11:56 AM
I would help them. I come across this situation a lot, maybe because I know a lot of people. There are a lot of people who backbite us and maybe we also backbited someone in the past. Maybe one day I'll just say them what are the consequences of backbiting and ask them how they would feel if someone backbite about them. Maybe they think at least once before backbiting.
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Amat Allah
09-13-2011, 01:18 PM
why to not help them ?

I would feel sorry for them cause they already lost the most precious things they have and I am having them instead of them; their hasanaat...

May Allah guide us all Ameeen and btw, our future is in Allah`s Hand and we will get what Allah had written for us and He The Exalted said:"And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him; and if He intends for you good, then there is no repeller of His bounty. He causes it to reach whom He wills of His servants. And He is the Forgiving, the Merciful (107)" Surat Yunus

so, never think about what creatures can do but of The Most Generous Merciful Creator you worship who says:" Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)." And in Allah let the believers put their trust. (51)" Surat Attawbah

forgive them and just trust Allah and rely on Him and you will surely be allright ...love ya for the sake of Allah always...
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Pure Purple
09-13-2011, 02:16 PM
Originally Posted by Yanoorah
Someone who backbited you a week ago and is hiding important information about your future, comes to you now for help about their future, not knowing that you know that they backbited you.
I hate these kind of people..
I will First tell her about that you backbite me with an very angry mood.But after few minutes when I will regain my calm i will forgive her.This kind of situation happened to me earlier and I did this way. I always do this whatever I don't like about someone I directly tell infront her Irrespective of whether she feels bad or not.If she is not my good friend ,don't have guts to tell in front of her.I keep silence but never do backbiting .
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Ansariyah
09-13-2011, 02:31 PM
You're all awesome, keep it coming.

This is clearly a test from Allah though it's easy to give the person what they deserve (eye for an eye) and just refuse them the help they seek. To teach them a good ole lesson. However I think helping them for Allah's sake without wanting anything for it in return and just leaving it to Allah is the best thing to do. The person in question will 100% deny that they backbited you, they won't own up. Confronting them and making them see sense is pointless. Keeping that in mind I would just help the person, only for the simple reason that I know that I'm being tested. It's a tough situation!
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Innocent Soul
09-13-2011, 02:53 PM
Just remembered these quotes.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
--Mahatma Gandhi

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
--Mahatma Gandhi
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Riana17
09-14-2011, 06:38 AM
Salam Alaikkum

There are many people who did alot of worse thing to me and alhamdollelah although I felt worse on occasions I never did once take revenge, giving the best example is my ex bestfriend & Eldest sister.

I suffered from my eldest sister for 3yrs, name it all, not feeding me for a month, treated me like a slave, accused me of flirting with her husband (I was 16), took my salary for 3yrs, not allowing me to watch tv and basically made my picture really bad in front of just anyone. I had patience alhamdollelah (I dont have this patience now and I want to gain it back inshallah)

So when she hurt me (slap, pulling my hair till end of corridor) in front of my brother & bro in law, then that's how I run away from her with my brother.

There I met my new pregnant ex bestfriend, 3yrs without freedom makes me excited to meet her and I treated her like my family, indeed I am not good at expressing by words but I truly loved her, unfortunately her husband is not a responsible man. So I end up buying everything for her upcoming angel, name it from crib, milk, clothes and even the hospital bill. They're all credit, I am not millionaire but comparing to her husband, he didnt even bother to get a shirt for his coming son (she's 2nd wife and he is not lazy infact he is working at prestigious company). When delivery day is soon to come I also remember sleeping over coz I fear she will deliver anytime soon. Birth day come and yes I was in delivery room & her husband was sleeping, the next day he told me 'you know I am thinking to go to Dubai' uffffff he spends thousand of dinars for roaming the world...

So anyhow, day come that she is asking me loan on daily basis and I told her for once that she must speak to her husband and make him responsible for her kid, she got mad and told me 'if you dont want to give loan, just shut up...plus she didnt talk to me for 3days

Months later she finished her loan and spread nameema (gossips) about me, I felt bad many times but I had patience and let it go.

It hurts alot but I knew within that its not my lost after all.

Now if you will question me, whether I will do the right thing, I would say yes, and Subhanallah when everyone abandoned my sister's 1st son when he needed heart operation, I stayed and Allah made me an instrument and 2yrs ago he undergone open heart surgery, Praise be to Allah he is back to school since then.

This Ramadan also, I made peace with my eldest sister, i dont like to befriend with her but I told her 'I want peace with you and inshallah let's not talk about the past'. Since then we never fight, she knows where she stands and she cant hurt or manipulate me anymore. If you would ask me, personally I dont need to be close to her and I dont need her in my life. But I fear Allah and I do it for mom's sake too. I just hope my younger sister who suffered from her in few months will find it in her heart to forgive her.

For my ex bestfriend, I made peace with her & she ignored me, yes she is big proud, that's the problem.

if my ex bestfriend come to me for help, I would definitely help her but no way I want communication with her. Not helping her would make me feel bad in the end, helping her will help me heal completely.

In the end of the story, I believe it is all between me & Allah, if I was good, alhamdollelah, if i were bad to them, i will surely get my punishment.
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Nate
09-14-2011, 06:57 AM
If someone wrongs me like that I slaughter them with kindness, they can do what they want I choose to be better,
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