format_quote Originally Posted by
Alpha Dude
You may reach a point where you stop caring about what it is that's bothering you along with everything and anything on top of that. You don't care about yourself, your health, your sanity. You want all things to overcome you. You have partial desires to be recklessly and completely destroyed. Although you hold on by a thread and know deep down that you won't let go, no matter what.
You feel cold. You curl up and let out voiceless cries and pleads of help to Allah. You are overcome by sleep. Then comes a sense of relief.
Being in a cold, scary, lonely forest when it's raining and windy. You don't find it depressing in such times as there's something familiar about it. It's an external reflection of what you're feeling inside. You feel soothed.
As'Salaam Alaaykum
It may be a chance to get closer to Allaah, or Allaah is calling you toward's him. Being in a cold scary place would only make some more afraid, and as for some it is soothing as mentioned.
The greatness and mercy of Allaah is beautiful, he is the ever-loving, as the messengers, and the most pious of muslimeen did, pouring their hearts out to Allaah SWT, for he is ever hearing of that which is said deep inside the hearts. As he is All hearing and he SWT knows what we do not.
You may not care about yourself, your health, your sanity, but you must begin to bring 'caring' back for the sake of Allaah, if not for your sake, atleast for the sake of Allaah SWT even though he and you know that it is of benefit to you only, bringing back the desire to please Allaah to your best abilities that he has bestowed upon us insha'Allaah till the end.
may Allaah SWT ease your affairs and increase all muslimeen in strength and grant you happiness along with the ummah in the hereafter Aameen.
I apologise if i've said anything wrong and please do correct me inshaa'Allaah, and forgive if I have misunderstood your post.