If U have a best friend through internet, can he be closer to you than your cousin?

[racheljeon]

please talk turkey

[Tyrion]

please talk turkey

Gobble gobble?



Seriously though, I'm confused. ^o) But the simple answer to your title is "no"...

[Dagless]

Seriously though, I'm confused. ^o) But the simple answer to your title is "no"...

I don't know what the situation is either but to even things up I'll go with "yes".

[marwen]

I put yes. A friend can be closer than a cousin, he can be a brother in islam, where brotherhood in islam is closer than blood brotherhood. Through internet it's possible too, if he is a genuine brother.

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[Endymion]

I can say this without any doubt internet give me amazing friends and i truly love them but the thing is that,whether they are my internet friends or my real life friends,i always keep a distance between me and them.I never tell my friends about my private matters,never share anything which i want to hide from others.I think its a wise behavior :shade:

[Mr.President]

bro saying things to cousine ? "r u freaking out of your mind ?"

I would never ever do tht mistake again
!
if I did tht
thts it my cousins will eat me up like hungry hayeenas

understand the difference friend doesn't have any hidden meanings but cousins he/she will collect alot of sins by joking abt u infront of ur family


BTW IT DEPENDS ON UR COUSINS TYPE IS HE/SHE A HAYEENA ?

[Danah]

I said "yes" simply because Allah had blessed me with best friends who are like sisters to me in the Internet.

[Soulja Girl]

:sl:

Blood is thicker than Water.. :><:

I mean its just harder to trust someone online.. You don't know who they are for starters, complete strangers..

Of course you can make some lovely friends online.. But there should be that barrier in between cuz at the end of the day, your family will ALWAYS be there for you, depending on how close your relationship is with em..

& well as for online people, you can't always guarantee they'll be there for you.. :)

:wa:

[GuestFellow]

I rarely talk to my cousins and I don't think I have a best fwend. I don't know really...

[Scimitar]

What is this talk of friendship?

In Islam there is no such thing as "friendship".

Imam Ali said "You are either my brother in Islam, or my equal in humanity"

The term friendship implies two things.

1) That you prefer "Friends over others"

2) That you have an emotional connection to someone which you don't consider your Brother, or your equal in Humanity. Reserve your emotional attachemments for your family and your brothers - and even then be mindful of how you carry this responsibility out. Favouring someone simply because you "like" them is not an Islamic practice - what it is though, is a practice borne of nafsi (your own desire/ego response).


Be on this world as if you are a stranger, a Ghuraba... If you like someone, it is probably because they have done you some justice in some form or another - it is therefore your right to return the favour, because you are now in debt to that person. *******izing that debt by giving it the term "friendship" is a core compromise of your own self worth. How weak we Muslims have become, preferring to to replace honourable justice with weakened terminology such as "friendship".

Let me tell you what friendship is like:

A friend is someone who will tell you what you like to hear. For example:

"No, you can't tell him that - it will hurt his feelings"

Now let me give you an example of brotherhood:

"Sorry bro, I know you won't like to hear this but it is for your own good. I noticed yesterday that..."

Islam: "Like for your brother what you like for yourself".

I hope this gets some of you thinking.

[m2p]

i heard a speech in which the speaker said that the prophet s.a.w has been reported to have said do not over love your friends because it may be that tommorow they will become your worst enemy and do not over hate your enemys as it may be that tommorow they become your habib

heres another one : The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "The parable of a good friend and a bad friend is that of a carrier of musk and a blacksmith. The carrier of musk will give you some, or you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell; but as for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell."

[Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness, Hadith #6692]

be careful who you choose the quran says that on the day of judgement some people will say : Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken such-and-such as a friend!" Noble Qur'an (25:28)

check this vid out but include the dots when copy and pasting (had to remove dots to enable me to the put the link otherwise it wont let me because im new)

www youtube com watch?v=0R-NwrSjo5A

[m2p]

"The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy." (Sura Al-Hujurat ayah #10)

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (partisanship and party s pirit), or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."Related by Muslim in his Saheeh (6/21), from Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu anhu.

[Endymion]

There is a huge difference between a cousin and a sister that is why i did not mention my sis/bro's.But if the question was to choose one from friend and sis/bro,i would choose my siblngs because no friend can be like them.

There is a very beautiful example by Ali RA explain the difference between a friend and a brother.

"Somebody asked Hazrat Ali what the difference is between a brother and a friend. He said “a brother is like gold and a friend is like diamond.” So the man asked why are you giving more value to the friend, a diamond is worth more? Imam replied “If gold cracks you can melt it and make it just like it was before. If a diamond cracks, it can never be like it was before.”

[Insaanah]

In Islam there is no such thing as "friendship".

This is a quite a serious statement to make, and needs to be backed up by Qur'an or hadeeth. The quote from Hadrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) does not show that there is no such thing as friendship in Islam. We have brotherhood with all Muslims, and feel naturally closer to those with whom we have day to day contact. However, that doesn't mean that we don't love our other brothers in Islam, or that we see them as inferior, or that we are being unjust.

The Qur'an and the ahadeeth show that friendship/close friendship is allowed, and in some cases can be a source of reward.

Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet :saws: said, "There are seven whom Allah will shade with His shade on the day when there is no shade but His shade: a just Imam, a youth who grows up worshipping Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, a man whose heart is attached to the mosque, two men who love each other for the sake of Allah, meeting and parting for that reason alone, a man who refuses the advances of a noble and beautiful woman, saying, 'I fear Allah', a man who gives sadaqa and conceals it so that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives, and a man who remembers Allah when he is alone and his eyes overflow with tears." [Agreed upon - Sahîh al-Bukhârî (660) and Sahîh Muslim (1031)]

Now these two men loving each other for the sake of Allah, does that mean that they saw their other brothers in Islam as inferior, or that they were unjust to them? No. Love between friends is a natural and human thing, and even Rasoolullah :saws: said, "If I were to have taken anyone from among my ummah as a khaleel (close friend), I would have taken Abu Bakr as a khaleel." Source http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/34621/friends

And it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "My close friend (khaleel – i.e. the Prophet :saws:) enjoined three things upon me that I will not give up until I die: fasting three days of each month, praying Duha, and sleeping after Witr." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1124; Muslim, 721).

The Qur'an also shows that close friendship is allowed:

Sahih International
Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous (43:67)

Let me tell you what friendship is like:

A friend is someone who will tell you what you like to hear. For example:

"No, you can't tell him that - it will hurt his feelings"

I disagree. A true friend will advise you correctly, even if it's something you don't want to hear. To say that friends do not advise correctly, is wrong. There are many beautiful friendships out there where people who are not related love each other for the sake of Allah, and do their best to help each other to righteousness, without thinking any the less of all their brothers in Islam. This includes internet friends, who are the most amazing sisters I could ever hope to meet. May all Muslims be blessed with such good friends, ameen.

:sl:

[Ghazalah]

One of my closest friends I met online. She's amazing. Not only helps me with my deen but she reminds me of Islam. My cousin on the other hand is completely the opposite.

However, the situation can change for different people, one answer cannot be applied to everyone.

[Scimitar]

I disagree. A true friend will advise you correctly, even if it's something you don't want to hear. To say that friends do not advise correctly, is wrong. There are many beautiful friendships out there where people who are not related love each other for the sake of Allah, and do their best to help each other to righteousness, without thinking any the less of all their brothers in Islam. This includes internet friends, who are the most amazing sisters I could ever hope to meet. May all Muslims be blessed with such good friends, ameen.

:sl:

I liked your post Insaanah. You wrote "A true friend will advise you correctly, even if it's something you don't want to hear." And I say, anyone who does that for me, I look upon them as my brother. Or my equal in humanity.

To quote the same line again: "A true friend will advise you correctly, even if it's something you don't want to hear." - this is more often than not, the exception, rather than the rule. Hence, friendships in modern day, is a misunderstood ideal, and taken out of practical context when people choose to make friends based on how well their nafs are stroked by eachother.

In Islam, we have a better way of including someone in our inner circle - by calling them, and treating them like a brother, or sister... And I prefer this outlook.

You also wrote: "There are many beautiful friendships out there where people who are not related love each other for the sake of Allah, and do their best to help each other to righteousness, without thinking any the less of all their brothers in Islam."


Really now? So you'd rather give them a title of friend over Brother? or Sister? seems like a splitting of hairs to me...

You went on to end with this: "May all Muslims be blessed with such good friends, ameen." ... If you like them that much, why not just call them brother or sister? You see my point?

[ardianto]

You also wrote: "There are many beautiful friendships out there where people who are not related love each other for the sake of Allah, and do their best to help each other to righteousness, without thinking any the less of all their brothers in Islam."


Really now? So you'd rather give them a title of friend over Brother? or Sister? seems like a splitting of hairs to me...

So, why we call companion of Rasulullah as "sahaba (friends) of Rasulullah", not "ikhwan (brothers) of Rasulullah" ?.

[Insaanah]

:sl:

I liked your post Insaanah. You wrote "A true friend will advise you correctly, even if it's something you don't want to hear." And I say, anyone who does that for me, I look upon them as my brother. Or my equal in humanity.

You seem to be working on the premise that a friend cannot be a brother at the same time. All Muslims are brothers. Even to the extent that a husband is brother in Islam to his wife. But does she say, this is my brother, or refer to him as brother? No. Even though he is a brother in Islam, she addresses him and refers to him according to his role in her life, which is husband. And the same applies vice versa.

To quote the same line again: "A true friend will advise you correctly, even if it's something you don't want to hear." - this is more often than not, the exception, rather than the rule.

I have no idea how most friendships are, as I don't know about them, but can only speak about the many I do know about.

In Islam, we have a better way of including someone in our inner circle - by calling them, and treating them like a brother, or sister... And I prefer this outlook.

I have gone with what Qur'an and hadeeth show and allow, rather than my own outlook.

Really now? So you'd rather give them a title of friend over Brother? or Sister? seems like a splitting of hairs to me...

The fact that all Muslims are brothers and sisters goes without saying. But we address and refer to them according to their role in our lives, like mother, father, teacher, friend.

You went on to end with this: "May all Muslims be blessed with such good friends, ameen." ... If you like them that much, why not just call them brother or sister? You see my point?

I explained this above. You are entitled to your point, but you need to back it up by Qur'an and ahadeeth.

So, why we call companion of Rasulullah as "sahaba (friends) of Rasulullah", not "ikhwan (brothers) of Rasulullah" ?.

Technically, a sahaabi is defined as any person who had the privilege of meeting the Prophet :saws: and died believing in him. But the most famous sahaabah are those who were his companions, and the term is commonly used to mean that.

Source: Usool al-Hadeeth: The Methodology of Hadeeth Evaluation, by Dr Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips, Inetrnational Islamic Publishing House (PDF page 10)

And Allah knows best in all matters.

:sl:

[ardianto]

Technically, a sahaabi is defined as any person who had the privilege of meeting the Prophet and died believing in him. But the most famous sahaabah are those who were his companions.

I know what is "sahaabi/sahaabah" but I couldn't find the accurate English word for it.

In Indonesian language we classify "friend" into two level. The first is "teman/kawan", this is usual/ordinary friend. The second is "sahabat", this is 'high level' friend or friend who very close. We call sahaabi as "sahabat Rasul" not "teman/kawan Rasul" because this friendship is 'high level' friendship.

Thanks for your response, sister.

[Scimitar]

Sister Insaanah - I think we are both saying the same thing, in different ways. However, I still don't believe that friendships in modern day are true to their intent and purposes. If we look at someone as a friend, we can easily be misled into differentiating their importance over brothers and sisters - when the truth is, one must treat everyone the same. Without bias or prejudice, unless they are committing evil, in which case - one must try to stop them either physically or verbally, or ask Allah to save them from the fitna of it.

I explained this above. You are entitled to your point, but you need to back it up by Qur'an and ahadeeth.

With regard to quoting Quraan, and hadeeth - I am very careful where and how I do it. It is not a matter to just throw out there.

[ardianto]

@ brother scimitar

Brotherhood is a communal bond among people who are in one group. Friendship is a personal bond between two persons who make relationship.

If we help other Muslims because we feel there is a bond between us and them, this is brotherhood. But if me and you make a close relationship which we support and help each other, it called friendship, because this relationship is personal.

However, I still don't believe that friendships in modern day are true to their intent and purposes

When I was in trouble I often got help from my friends without they expected anything from me.

Bro, as long as people are still willing to help their friends without expect anything, friendship would always exist.

[Scimitar]

What you call frinedship, I call brotherhood - thats where we differ. I prefer to honour them with a better title, is all.

[Snowflake]

^I know what you mean I think.. You're saying that whether it is someone you are close to or not, in your eyes they are all the same as in equally worthy of love and respect. If that's what you mean, it's a great outlook you have. But sadly as sis Insaanah pointed out, all muslims are brothers (and sisters) but not all are friends.

[Ansariyah]

I have actually met some amazing sisters online and we made some plans and met in person, and now they're close friends, part of my family.:) Alhamdulilah we Muslims have this bond that connects us.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I'm not close to any of my cousins ( the ones I've met so far) simply because I don't talk their talk nor think like them. Even the ones I've not met, seem to blow me off simply because Im not like them. I've shared more with sisters online than I ever have with cousins Ive known since I was kid. I can trust some of them (online), others I've regretted sharin anything with. I can't share anything with my cousins. The last time I did, they couldn't hold anything to themselves....word travels.

So it all really depends what they're like...

The sisters I've known online over the years, I love them dearly. They have yet to break my trust. Alhamdulillaah.

So I voted yes.

[joyous fairy]

Most of my cousins are in Pakistan and when I go there I tend to enjoy it because of them.

The few that are here in England, Im not very close to. But they do come round on occassions and we go to theirs sometimes.

I dont have one particular best friend but a few close ones and I cant really compare them to cousins. We talk about different things, and they dont really know my family, whereas with cousins we can discuss family issues.

I dont have that many online friends, a few that Ive met on a different forum and I am quite close to them. I can talk about things that maybe I wouldnt with other people. I havent known them for too long though but I find it easier to talk to them sometimes.

I suppose you can be closer to online friends, but its a different kind of closeness. A different kind of friendship, because you probably havent grew up with them, you havent experienced the same thing and maybe even live in different parts of the world and this makes it a much more interesting friendship I suppose, because your sharing different experiences.

[Who Am I?]

:sl:

I am closer to my friends than I am to my cousins. I haven't talked to my cousins in years. I talk to my friends almost every day.

[Riana17]

Salam Alaikkum

My best friend is my husband and I had ex best friends before (non Muslim time) and they were all end up using me.

For 5yrs my husband never sell me to anyone or put me down, even the darkest secret I have he will never tell anyone. He covers my mistakes too and trying hard to influence me to do good

I'd rather have online friends like IB members, they are so much BETTER than real life friends. Real life friends can leave you broken into pieces, online Muslim friends are great to find. ALHAMDOLLELAH

[m2p]

i think were forgetting one thing when you post hadiths in which the word "friend" or "friends" is used the actual meaning may have been lost in transalation as some words cannot be transalated exactly from arabic to english so it may be that the word friend in hadiths and quran may mean different to the english word "friend" it may be that the meaning of the arabic word for friend is closer to the word companion or it may be used to refer to a man who is not of blood relation but of equal or more value in your heart this is just an example so someone who understands arabic might be able to the context of the arabic word that we transalate to friend

[marwen]

I believe some friends can be more close than cousins, I hope we agree on that. But I think some readers of this thread will feel that we are attacking cousins in some way, lol :p, that we should leave our cousins.

I shall return to emphasize the importance of kinship in islam. We should never treat our relatives in a bad way, even if they could be harsh with us.

[marwen]

edit, double post, bla bla

[Snowflake]

Real life friends/cousins love me despite my faults.
Internet friends only give you what you give them.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I don't think a poll is going to make a difference. Every experience is different. Some people alhamdulillaah have wonderful cousins, while others do not. In my case, I've only been disappointed...so I'm of the view that friends can be closer. My best friend is my mom. True friend.

[sis muslimah]

i he met amazing and wonderful people online no doubt but they can never be closer to me than my cousin, i cant trust her, i can tell her everything and anything =)

[IsamBitar]

Well it depends on that friend and your cousin. For me, no-one ever would replace my cousin, not even my siblings. It depends on how close you are to both of them, really.

[Marina-Aisha]

im not really close with my family but my friends i know they wont judge me..so i know i can just talk freely.

[Huzzy_786]

Depends, because you'll love your friend more as he doesnt know your parents much! So you know if you do something bad he wont go around telling your parents how ever with your cosin its different.

[Haya emaan]

when it comes to choose btw internet friends and cousin i will choose neither... i would prefer my real life friends.. they are wonderful..:statisfie

although i have met very nice sisters on internet but i cannot become a very close friend with a sister online until i meet her in real life..

[syed1]

I have no friends =( except one or two but I don't like to hang out with them because there idea of having fun goes against the teachings of islam..

thats why I come here to engage in conversations with like minded people....

to answer the questions can you become closer with an internet friend than a cousin... I can't see why not.. your only related to you cousins by through family but your related to a "friend" through love?

[Amat Allah]

mümkündür ......

[Endymion]

mümkündür ......

Yes it is :D talking about me Naa....i know :giggling:

[Amat Allah]

To be honest with ya habibati, I see no differences between anyone in this wide world and my family members; you are all the same for me, if I am talking to ya then I am talking to my blood sister ...

some may not believe but I do love you all that much and that won`t change ever in shaa Allah no matter where you are from or what you are... whether you are a relative or a stranger that would never matter to me at all we are from dust and to it later. May Allah give us the good end in both dunya and Akhirah Ameeen

love ya all for Allah`s sake ^^

[Endymion]

Narrated Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) that Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "A person (set out to) visit his brother in another town. Allah deputed an angel to wait for him on his way. When he came across the man he asked: 'Where do you intend to go?' The man replied: 'I intend to go to my brother in this town.' The angel asked: 'Have you done any favour to him (the repayment of which you intend to get)?' The man replied: 'No, excepting this that I love him for the sake of Allah, the Exalted and Glorious.' Thereupon the angel said: 'I am a messenger to you from Allah (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you love your brother (for His sake).'" [Sahih Muslim]


I love you fisabilillah,my dear sister :wub:

[Innocent Soul]

Narrated Anas: The Prophet said,
"Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith:
1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle becomes dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.
3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire."
(Sahih Bukhari: Book #2, Hadith #15)

Narrated Abu Burda: That his father said,
The Prophet sent Mu'adh and Abu Musa to Yemen telling them. 'Treat the people with ease and don't be hard on them; give them glad tidings and don't fill them with aversion;
and love each other, and don't differ.
(Sahih Bukhari: Book #52, Hadith #275)

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:
Verily. Allah would say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory's sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shadow when there is no other shadow but the shadow of Mine.
(Sahih Muslim: Book #032, Hadith #6225)

But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah . And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment, [they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.
(Quran 2:165)