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Endymion
10-04-2011, 07:40 PM
Assalam Alekum Dear All :statisfie

Im seriously thinking these days that dealing and pleasing people is truly hard or almost impossible. In spite of they have no power,they cant snatch anything from us neither they can benifit us until Allah SWT wills but still,when you try to win their hearts just for the sake of Allah SWT,you realize its not that easy.
If you are kind to them without any reason,they will think you want something from them or you just pretend to be very good.
If you accept what ever they tell you,they think its your weakness and they even try to control you :skeleton:
If you are sad,they think you are rude,if you are kind and helping,they think you are stupid :hmm: If you try to stop them from any bad deed and tell them its forbidden in Islam,they think you are trying to be very religious.

If you ignore their criticism which is just to hurt you,they will make it a habit to tease you.
I think being good in the eyes of people is truly hard or sometimes,impossible.While,pleasing Allah SWT is a few minutes job.No matter how bad you are,how great sins you have written in your account,He SWT will accept you,remove your previous sins,give you glad tidings,bless you with Hidayah,make you feel special,never remind you of your past sins and make every thing easy for you in spite of He SWT has the power of revenge and He can do any thing.But He just forgive while people dont imsad


But the thing is that we need to please people around us to please Allah SWT,Huququl Ibad you know :hmm:

Its truly hard,is'nt it ^o)


So how YOU deal with such people,im keen to know :hmm:
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taz...
10-05-2011, 12:03 PM
i dont blame people for thinking that you might wnat something when you're being nice, because, thats the way the world works i guess.
one thing i've learnt, is that you cannot ever manage to please everybody. people will be nice to your face and then turn around and stab you in the back. You can't do anything about it, its best to just keep your cool and keep on smiling.

The only way to deal with it is to just ignore all the negatives thrown at you, once people realsie you're being nice all the time for no apparent reason, they'll think you're a genuine person. i'm pretty smiley, like ALL the time,lol........so people know what i'm like. However of its someone who's done a 180 degree all of a sudden, i dont blame others to be at least slightly suspicious.

The key here, i think, is patience.

good luck :statisfie
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Endymion
10-05-2011, 12:57 PM
Today i read this in Quran and again i read it here,thats great :statisfie

You are indeed right.Patience is the key.And one thing to add."Quran is the Master Key".Alhamdulillah.Patience is indeed hard to practice but looking at the reward,it looks a bit easy now :statisfie

Jazakalahu Khyran for your reply :statisfie
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Riana17
10-05-2011, 01:01 PM
Originally Posted by taz...
i dont blame people for thinking that you might wnat something when you're being nice, because, thats the way the world works i guess.
one thing i've learnt, is that you cannot ever manage to please everybody. people will be nice to your face and then turn around and stab you in the back. You can't do anything about it, its best to just keep your cool and keep on smiling.

The only way to deal with it is to just ignore all the negatives thrown at you, once people realsie you're being nice all the time for no apparent reason, they'll think you're a genuine person. i'm pretty smiley, like ALL the time,lol........so people know what i'm like. However of its someone who's done a 180 degree all of a sudden, i dont blame others to be at least slightly suspicious.

The key here, i think, is patience.

good luck :statisfie
Salam Alaikkum

Great reply Subhanallah, and also Ukhtee let's remember the Niyyah
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Who Am I?
10-05-2011, 06:07 PM
:sl:

There's a song that sums it up fairly well.

"It seems you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself."

I used to worry all of the time about what everyone else thought of me. I was always worried that someone was mad at me for something I had said or done. Of course, I was never happy and always insecure about my relationships with other people. This put people off and some of them really did become annoyed at me as a result.

Eventually I had to realize that you can't make everyone like you. Someone will always not like you for whatever reason, and there's nothing you can do about it. So now I just ignore the people who don't like me and go about my business.

I don't go out of my way to love my enemies, but I don't hate them either. I don't have time to worry about such things. I have enough to do with trying to live my own life the right way.
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taz...
10-06-2011, 11:37 AM
Originally Posted by Endymion
Today i read this in Quran and again i read it here,thats great :statisfie

You are indeed right.Patience is the key.And one thing to add."Quran is the Master Key".Alhamdulillah.Patience is indeed hard to practice but looking at the reward,it looks a bit easy now :statisfie

Jazakalahu Khyran for your reply :statisfie
glad i could be of help.
any time :D
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Innocent Soul
10-06-2011, 12:03 PM
The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
"There is no gift better and more vast (that you may be given) than patience."
- Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 8:477

'Bear with patience whatever befalls you'- (Qur’an 31:17)

'Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.'- (Qur’an 9:40)

'So do not become weak, nor be sad'- (Qur’an 3:139)

'O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer.'-(Qur’an 2:153)

'Verily,with hardship there is relief'- (Qur’an 94:6)

'Verily,in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.-'(Qur’an 13:28)

'Remember Me; I will remember you'- (Quran 2:152)

And whatever strikes you of disaster - it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much.(Ash-Shura:30)

Do not let circumstances defeat you. You can if you think you can. Optimism is the tool to help you get up after a fall, and to keep going toward the life you really want.
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Endymion
10-06-2011, 05:00 PM
Assalam Alekum dear all :statisfie

Jazakallahu Khyran for your great replies.Its actually not about enemies.Its about your friends and relatives.I can see some people around me who try to control people who care about them and make their love,their weakness.Obviously,you cannot just ignore people who are close to your heart.It hurts you when they dont get your point.Patience is indeed the key and remeberance of Allah SWT truly help you make your burden lighter but some times you just get disappointed of every thing just because of these behaviors.Are you people that strong to go with all that and put your trust in Allah SWT tightly??

I know a friend whose parents want her to get married.She had a proposal,the boy was ok but when she did Istikhara,she did not felt it right and she refused the proposal.Her Parents tried to force her to accept that but she did'nt while she is a girl who hardly say no to her parents.When she did not accept it any way,her parents refused the proposal and stop talking with her,specially her Father.That was truly a painful situation for her.After a month,her father start talking with her but that one month was truly a test for her.She was afraid her Father's anger would cause the anger of Allah SWT and she will not find a good man for her in future.
If any of you are in situation like that,how would you go with it??
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joyous fairy
10-06-2011, 06:47 PM
Originally Posted by Endymion

I know a friend whose parents want her to get married.She had a proposal,the boy was ok but when she did Istikhara,she did not felt it right and she refused the proposal.Her Parents tried to force her to accept that but she did'nt while she is a girl who hardly say no to her parents.When she did not accept it any way,her parents refused the proposal and stop talking with her,specially her Father.That was truly a painful situation for her.After a month,her father start talking with her but that one month was truly a test for her.She was afraid her Father's anger would cause the anger of Allah SWT and she will not find a good man for her in future.
If any of you are in situation like that,how would you go with it??
Walaikum salam,

Did the girl tell her parents about doing istikhara? Maybe she could tell them about that and they may accept her decision. Communication is really important, however, I understand that some parents refuse to discuss certain things with their child because they think they know best.

Also if she tried talking to her parents and explaining that she will have to live with her future husband for the rest of her life, not them and that she should be making the decisions not them.

I know parents can be very difficult, especially when it comes to marriage. They are much wiser and more experienced than their children but that shouldnt mean they make all decisions in the childs life. They need to give them some independance. They wont be with them forever. We should learn to take the good advice and make our decisions wisely with the information we have.
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Endymion
10-07-2011, 01:23 PM
She explained all that you are talking about,dear :statisfie.Her Mother understand her point but her father did'nt :hmm:
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tigerkhan
10-10-2011, 05:11 PM
Originally Posted by Endymion
I know a friend whose parents want her to get married.She had a proposal,the boy was ok but when she did Istikhara,she did not felt it right and she refused the proposal.Her Parents tried to force her to accept that but she did'nt while she is a girl who hardly say no to her parents.When she did not accept it any way,her parents refused the proposal and stop talking with her,specially her Father.That was truly a painful situation for her.After a month,her father start talking with her but that one month was truly a test for her.She was afraid her Father's anger would cause the anger of Allah SWT and she will not find a good man for her in future.
If any of you are in situation like that,how would you go with it??
1. dua and sadqa.
2. involve someone else in the matter who can resolve the issue.
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Eric H
10-10-2011, 11:02 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Endymion; some quotes that help me.

Anyway
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centred;
Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.

In the spirit of struggling with life

Eric
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