format_quote Originally Posted by
nutty
Assalamun alaikum
Whenever i am in a gathering of ppl. My mind just completely shuts down and i cant think of anything intelligent to say, apart from the usually pleasantries. I cant have a conversation or talk about anything my mind jst does not work i cant find anything to say. a five year is better at talkin than me. nd i think i come across as a snob or aloof becos ppl jst dnt wanna carry on talkin to me nd ignore me. nd sometimes i want to say sumthing but dont becos my mouth dont w=move. As soon as i removed myself from ppl my mind starts function nd i think of soo many replies i couldve given or talked abt. I tried many things...self talk...preped myself before the social gatherin but nuthing works.
sumtimes i get depressed thinkin ive got no friends which is true.. everyone drifts away from me becos i dnt talk or i sound unintelligent. I just stay home nd away from ppl. I know i should go nd meet ppl but wherever i go nd whatever i do my mind just goes blank nd doesnt function.
Asalaamu Alaikum, I think you may have some sort of social anxiety disorder. Do you have issues with self esteem and self confidence? Have you always been this way or is it certain events in your life that have made you like this? For you to keep quite in most situations is actually a very good thing because the tongue is the main cause of many Muslims burning in the fire.
It is better to keep quite than to risk backbiting, slandering and gossiping about others. It is better to keep quite than to mock and ridicule another or to talk about other people in general. So know that it is better to be a quite person than a talkative one becaused the more one talks the more likely they would have said something which would have incurred them a sin. The less a person talks the less sin one would incur.
So always keep in your mind that you do not have to always talk because others are talking. Only talk if you have something good to say otherwise keep quite. Not everyone is an extrovert many of us are introverts and i would say the introverts are more safer from their tongues than extroverts. Just try and keep your heart and tongue busy with the glorification and remembrance of Allah. That is the best way of using ones tongue.
Regarding friends then again keeping good pious company is very beneficial but keeping bad friends will have a detrimental affect on us in this world and the next. They are like poison. So it is better to be a loner than to berfiend bad company. But if you do have issues with self esteem, self confidence and in social situations then it would be far better for you to approach or try and get referred to a specialist preferrabley a Muslim.
Ask of Allah sincerely in your dua's to help you through this and to give you good and pious company to spend time with. Ask of him to only make you speak when you have something good to say. Ask of him to enable you to use your tongue and all your bodily parts internally and externally ONLY to please him and to refrain from anything which displeases him.
May Allah enable all of us to speak good otherwise keep quite and for us to safeguard our tongues and not make it a means for us to be destroyed in the hereafter. May Allah also give us good company and keep us away from bad friends who are like a poison to us. Ameen