format_quote Originally Posted by
syed1
hey, thanks for all your advice.
since we have begun talking about marriage I think now would be a good time to bring up the apperant issue:
In these modern times, particularialy in the west, it has become a custom to marry once the man is well into there career or has established them selves financially.. not only does ones own family prefer this but the daughters parents of who is getting married also prefer that the man be well of before being married..
as a result, a problem arises because although you may want to marry early and protect your self, it may not be realistically feasible...
so how do we overcome this obstacle?
Asalaamu Alaikum, no doubt it is harder than ever now in the west especially to set yourself up financially to be able to support a wife. It is even more difficult when certain parents are to unreasonable in their demands for dowry. Another trend nowadays in the west in particular (cant speak for the rest of the world) is that there are so many more women than men looking for partners right now.
So now more than ever parents who are looking for partners for their daughters must be more realistic in their demands and adapt to the current situation and climate. Unfortunately many parents are still bound by their backward cultures and traditions which make it even more difficult for their daughters to marry. For example they have to marry the same race and cast etc.
Hopefully all of this will change and it will become much easier for us to marry as more and more parents of our generation take over from the backward cultures of our parents generations. In the meantime just try your best to push forward with getting a stable job that you can support yourself and a wife and just keep looking for a partner in the permissable manner. Not all parents are unreasonable with their demands there are many who would give their daughters to a pious man who was not very rich.
So keep making effort to find a partner in the permissable ways and also do the following to help you find a marriage partner:
1. Pray 2 rakat salaatul Hajaat:
The hadith regarding it: Abullah ibn Abi Awfa (Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever has a need with Allah, or with any human being, then let them perform ritual ablutions well and then pray two rakats. After that, let them praise Allah and send blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace).
After this, let them say,
لا إِلَهَ إِلا اللَّهُ الْحَلِيمُ الْكَرِيمُ
سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِين
أَسْأَلُكَ مُوجِبَاتِ رَحْمَتِكَ وَعَزَائِمَ مَغْفِرَتِكَ وَالْغَنِيمَةَ مِنْ كُلِّ بِرٍّ وَالسَّلامَةَ مِنْ كُلّإِثْمٍ
لا تَدَعْ لِي ذَنْبًا إِلا غَفَرْتَهُ وَلا هَمًّا إِلا فَرَّجْتَهُ وَلا حَاجَةً هِيَ لَكَ رِضًا إِلا قَضَيْتَهَا يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ
There there no god but Allah the Clement and Wise.
There is no god but Allah the High and Mighty.
Glory be to Allah, Lord of the Tremendous Throne.
All praise is to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
I ask you (O Allah) everything that leads to your mercy, and your tremendous forgiveness, enrichment in all good, and freedom from all sin.
Do not leave a sin of mine (O Allah), except that you forgive it, nor any concern except that you create for it an opening, nor any need in which there is your good pleasure except that you fulfill it, O Most Merciful!”
[Related by Tirmidhi and Ibn Maja)
Here is the dua after praying 2 rakat salaatul hajaat:
http://www.central-mosque.com/Dua/11...0of%20need.htm
2. Give as much Sadaqa as possible for the pleasure of Allah
3. Make much strong dua to Allah particularly in the latter portuion of the night after praying Tahajjud prayer. Cry to Allah if you can for Allah tends the slave who cries and weeps faster than a mother tends its baby.
4. Leave major sins for this gets in the way of duas being accepted.
5. Thank Allah as much as possible for how happy would Allah be with his slave who is thankful to him even though they may be going through difficult trials.
6. Make dua as much as possible in the following situations where dua is more likely to be accepted:
- After every fardh salaat and before going to bed, and after making wudhu(after the wudhu dua), while raining, while azzan is in progress(time when the muezzin pauses during the azaan), after azaan, between azaan and iqmah, when the cock crows, in a religious gathering, while travelling to masjid or on the way to meet a sick person etc
There is also an hour on Jumma where duas are definatley accepted so do as much dua as possible during Jumma.
7. Do plenty of durood before and after dua.
Increase the avenues you are currently exploring in order to find a suitable marriage partner like:
9. Ask around for those who have contacts for marriage because in most areas where there are Muslims there are usually 8omen who have contacts which they pass on to people and if it gets to marriage then you just pay them a small fee.
9. Goto proper Islamic marriage events where the girls are accompanied by their mahrams
10. Join some Muslim marriage sites where a mahram is involved like purematrimony.com
11. Ask around your local area in al of your local masjids. You can phone them and they will be more than willing to put you in ouch with the right person who sets up local marriages.
12. Ask close friends or relatives.
13.
Recite the following:
Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer
136x's everyday
[My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me]
Source: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...D=1908&CATE=10
14. a) Be in the state of Tahaarah (Wudhu)
b) Praise and glorify Allah
c) Have faith that Allah Ta'ala is All-Hearing and your Du'aas will be
accepted.
d)Read durood shareef upto 500 times a day. (Read the Duroode-Ibrahimi, which we read in Salaah, at least 500 times a day, the great Hadhrat Sheikh Zakariyya has written this in his letters).
Source: http://www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/askimam/...=8597&act=view
May Allah help us find good partners who will help us on our journey to Jannah. Ameen