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Flame of Hope
11-15-2011, 04:38 AM
:sl:

Do you believe that listening is a much needed skill in our day to day life?

Any suggestions on how can we improve our listening skills?

Jazakallah khair for any answers you can provide.
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ardianto
11-15-2011, 02:01 PM
:sl:

I have two true stories.

Story #1.
In an apartment in Banten, a young property broker stood in front of a unit that for sale. Then an old man came and asked him
"young man, may I ask ..... "
"Yes, sir, this is the unit that for sale" he cut that old man words
"But, young man .... "
"This unit has complete facility, bla ... bla ... bla"
"Young man ..... "
" The price is not too expensive, sir, you can ... bla ...bla ...bla"

After several moments, that young property broker finished his promotion and asked the old man.
"So, sir, do you want to buy this unit ?"
But the old man answered
"Young man, I do not want to buy an apartment unit, but I just want to ask, where is the toilet in this apartment ?"


Story #2
A customer came to a courier agent in Bandung city. He put a small stuff in matchbox size on the desk, and told the courier agent owner.
"I came to another courier agent to send this stuff, but they refuse to send it because this stuff is too small. They said they are afraid this stuff will be lose. But I must send it to my buyer. Now I will ask you, can you send a package with size that too small like this ?"
The courier agent owner did not give an answer. But he took a cartoon box that actually for lunch, put that stuff in the box, sealed it with scotch tape, put on the desk, and ...
"Your package is not too small"
The customer smile and said
"Okay, send this package".


There are difference between these two true stories. The property broker in the first story has a speaking skill, but he has no listening skill. The courier agent owner in the second story is known as a person who bad in speaking, but he has listening skill. The property broker in the first story is someone else, the courier agent owner in the second story is me.

Yes, that's me. What I've done in that moment was listening to that customer. From what I've listened, I realized, the problem was his stuff was too small. So, I made it bigger. The problem solved.

Now you understand why listening skill is important ?

Listening is different than hearing. In hearing we hear the sound and definite it's tunable or not tunable, nice to be heard or hurt the ears. But in listening, we listen to the voice and understand what the speaker meant.

Do you know sis ? the good listener is a listener who can hear the unspoken voice.

Maybe you have heard people say, if you want to be a salesman or marketer you need to have speaking skill to make your customer attracted to your product. But unfortunately, then people focus on speaking skill and forget listening skill. They do not realized, customer of service companies come to the companies beacuse they want the companies do something for them.

Customers come to car repair station because they want the mechanic repair their cars. Customers come to travel bureau because they want the travel bureau arrange a trip for them. They want something and they need someone who understand what they want. Imagine if they meet a salesman or marketer like the property broker in the first story, who has speaking skill but cannot understand what they want because he has no listening skill. That's why, listening skill is very important in business.

How to improve listening skill ?

- Learn to hear carefully.

- Learn to give attention to someone who speaks to you. Give him/her chance to say something. Don't cut his/her words before he/she finish it. However, when you see he/she pause the word you can tell some words like "so ?", or "then what" to make him/her continue speaking. The good listener is not a living statue who does not say anything, but a listener who can make the speaker feel attention from the listener.

- Learn to understand other people. I have a tip. Maybe you have seen a scene like this in movies. Some people are looking for a hiding young girl. Then one of them ask another "if you are a young girl, where will you hide ?". My tip, try to imagine yourself as an old lady, as teeange boy, as cop, as many people. Then ask yourself "If I am .... what I need, what should I do, ...etc"

- Learn face expression and body language. It will help you able to "hear the unspoken voice". Recognize face expression and body move of an angry person, sad person, happy person, etc.

- Try to thinking outside the box. Train yourself to make a creative solution for a problem. Many people want to speak to someone who can listen to them because they need an advice or idea. The good listener is not a listener who able to listen only, but able to give advice or idea.

I hope it useful.
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gladTidings
11-15-2011, 05:56 PM
Listening is mostly waiting for your turn to speak right? Or so it seems with everyone trying to fire their opinions and ideas...I give up with that.

I have an idea..if you try to *pretend* to listen, you know eye contact and all, then you might one day start listening - surely it would be harder to pretend and easier to just listen.
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Snowflake
11-15-2011, 06:05 PM
Story #2
A customer came to a courier agent in Bandung city. He put a small stuff in matchbox size on the desk, and told the courier agent owner.
"I came to another courier agent to send this stuff, but they refuse to send it because this stuff is too small. They said they are afraid this stuff will be lose. But I must send it to my buyer. Now I will ask you, can you send a package with size that too small like this ?"
The courier agent owner did not give an answer. But he took a cartoon box that actually for lunch, put that stuff in the box, sealed it with scotch tape, put on the desk, and ...
"Your package is not too small"
The customer smile and said
"Okay, send this package".


I like this! No one benefited from the first one but two people benefited when one listened.
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Flame of Hope
11-15-2011, 08:51 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
How to improve listening skill ?

- Learn to hear carefully.

- Learn to give attention to someone who speaks to you. Give him/her chance to say something. Don't cut his/her words before he/she finish it. However, when you see he/she pause the word you can tell some words like "so ?", or "then what" to make him/her continue speaking. The good listener is not a living statue who does not say anything, but a listener who can make the speaker feel attention from the listener.

- Learn to understand other people. I have a tip. Maybe you have seen a scene like this in movies. Some people are looking for a hiding young girl. Then one of them ask another "if you are a young girl, where will you hide ?". My tip, try to imagine yourself as an old lady, as teeange boy, as cop, as many people. Then ask yourself "If I am .... what I need, what should I do, ...etc"

- Learn face expression and body language. It will help you able to "hear the unspoken voice". Recognize face expression and body move of an angry person, sad person, happy person, etc.

- Try to thinking outside the box. Train yourself to make a creative solution for a problem. Many people want to speak to someone who can listen to them because they need an advice or idea. The good listener is not a listener who able to listen only, but able to give advice or idea.
:sl:

Masha'allah! Very nice!
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Eric H
11-15-2011, 09:57 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Riham;

God gave us one mouth and two ears, which suggests we should listen twice as much as we speak.

Blessings

Eric
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Salahudeen
11-16-2011, 12:30 AM
Originally Posted by Riham
:sl:

Do you believe that listening is a much needed skill in our day to day life?

Any suggestions on how can we improve our listening skills?

Jazakallah khair for any answers you can provide.
I actually doze off when people are speaking and just nodd my head and say "yeah" whenever they pause :hmm: I don't know why I start day dreaming as they talk.
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syed1
11-16-2011, 04:44 AM
Originally Posted by Salahudeen
I actually doze off when people are speaking and just nodd my head and say "yeah" whenever they pause I don't know why I start day dreaming as they talk.
lol happens to all of us.. probably some sort of attention deficit disorder...
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Riana17
11-16-2011, 11:50 AM
Salam Nice replies, love it

I need to get hearing aid :P
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ardianto
11-16-2011, 12:12 PM
I heard the story#1 from my trainer when I was working as freelance property broker. Although that's seem like a joke, but story #1 was really happened to a new broker from Jakarta.

Honestly, i was not success in my career as property broker, but I got many beneficial knowledge and experience from series of training there. One lesson was, a good broker doesn't need to good speaking skill, but he/she must have a good listening skill, because listening skill is the key to understand the clients.

And I know that's true. I saw many of success broker there (usually male) are quiet persons. I often noticed when they talked with clients on phone which they could spent almost 30 minutes, they talked little but listened much.

As a business person, I can feel, listening skill is very useful. It makes me easier to understand customers.
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Arfa
05-23-2016, 07:21 PM
I believe listening skills are very important skill for building connection.Though more emphasis is given to Speaking skills and how you should learn to persuade others by ones speaking prowess.Listening Skills though a passive skill is crucial for true connection.Why do we listen to others?To understand.Most of the time people listen to react and retaliate but it's important to listen to understand and respond.Listening skills are primary source for effective communication in ones life.Hope we all inculcate this skill in our daily encounters.
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noraina
05-23-2016, 07:29 PM
I suppose a good motivation is to listen as attentively to someone as attentively you would want someone to listen to you.

Also, empathising, placing yourselves in the person's shoes and trying to understand how they feel, allows you to not only listen but also to understand.

And talking less :p Talking isn't a bad thing but sometimes we can love the sound of our own voice too much and may not give others the time to speak, and show interest in what they have to say: their opinions are as important as yours.

I have been told I am a good listener. Sometimes in life you just want someone to listen to, not necessarily for advice or to have a conversation, you just want a living person to listen to you, to be able voice your emotions, understand you and assure you that you are not unheard. To have that one listener can be so relieving.
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