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truthseeker63
11-28-2011, 09:47 PM
In Islam can a Disabled/Handicapped marry ? While I am viewed as Disabled by the State having Asperger's syndrome I do desire to marry a Woman one day I am a Male by the way I just wanted to know if this would be allowed ? I for one don't have an issue with marrying a Woman on my level if no Woman wants to marry me who is not Disabled I also wanting to say that many Christians I talk to think I want to be a Muslim because I must be in love with a Muslim Woman many Christians say the samething about Women who become Muslims they do it because they are in love with a Muslim Man I know in Islam Muslim Women can only marry Muslim Men but I want to convert/revert to Islam because it is the truth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developmental_disability
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Ghazalah
11-28-2011, 11:17 PM
I thought you already converted? :ermm:
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IslamicRevival
11-28-2011, 11:51 PM
To answer your question, of course brother.
Welcome To Islam, May Allah Guide us all
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جوري
11-29-2011, 12:02 AM
is anyone else as sick of christians as I am? Most of these people should be praying to Odin or Thor when you really think about it. They subscribe to a Middle eastern religion, lace it with paganism and come teach us how it ought to be... ^o) ugh
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ardianto
11-29-2011, 07:35 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by truthseeker63
In Islam can a Disabled/Handicapped marry ?
They can marry, of course.

There is a rule, the wali can reject marriage proposal if the man who propose marriage has a disability that prevent him to fulfill the wife needs (in this case he is not able to make money). It's because husband has a duty to work to fulfill the wife need. But if this disabled person still able to make money, the wali cannot reject him. In fact, many disabled men can make money, even got success more than normal men.
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- Qatada -
11-29-2011, 08:48 AM
Yes :) but you have to tell any problems you have before marriage so problems don't happen after marriage.
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ardianto
11-29-2011, 09:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by - Qatada -
Yes but you have to tell any problems you have before marriage so problems don't happen after marriage.
I guess, you are talking about "unable to fulfill the wife need that not about making money". Yes, that's right.
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SFatima
11-29-2011, 09:57 AM
offcorse he can, there are plenty of people with a different disability who can adjust to the needs of another disabled person.

Its strange, we thought you already reverted since you sort of announced it in some post didnt you?
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- Qatada -
11-29-2011, 08:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
I guess, you are talking about "unable to fulfill the wife need that not about making money". Yes, that's right.
:salamext:


Yes, you're right. So long as someone can provide for the wife financially and the disability won't affect the marriage duties - then that's what I mean. :)
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ardianto
11-30-2011, 01:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by - Qatada -
Yes, you're right. So long as someone can provide for the wife financially and the disability won't affect the marriage duties - then that's what I mean.
:sl:

I very suggest man like this, not marry a virgin, but he should marry a widow/divorced woman with kid(s).

If he married a virgin, his wife would never feel that experience and would never have a chance to have kid. But if he married a widow/divorced woman with kid(s), although his wife would be 'jobless' on the bed, at least she ever felt that experience in her previous marriage, and she already have kid(s)

:)
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truthseeker63
11-30-2011, 03:11 AM
Thanks for your answers.
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Snowflake
11-30-2011, 07:36 AM
I'm interested in knowing how/why Aspergers is classed as a disability? I can understand Austism yes, but how so Aspergers? Bill gates is an aspie, and he did alright lol. I have Aspie tendencies (177/200) but have never been officially tested. Apart from it being a struggle to interact in a work/public environment (got sacked once cuz of it in fact) don't a lot of aspies learn to mimic social skills and bumble along ok?

As regards to marriage.. as long as you are sane, can earn a living and have no disability which would deny your wife rights to have children, then you can marry God willing. But are you muslim or not?
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Ghazalah
11-30-2011, 01:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose
I'm interested in knowing how/why Aspergers is classed as a disability?
There are different level of Aspergers. Some can be very severe, in a sense the person will not leave their house, the way the make sense of the world and process information is very extreme. Or the very mild Aspergers.
However according to the latest DSM guide, if you have two of the symptoms of Aspergers for over 6 months, mild or severe, you will be diagnosed.
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Futuwwa
11-30-2011, 02:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
:sl:

I very suggest man like this, not marry a virgin, but he should marry a widow/divorced woman with kid(s).

If he married a virgin, his wife would never feel that experience and would never have a chance to have kid. But if he married a widow/divorced woman with kid(s), although his wife would be 'jobless' on the bed, at least she ever felt that experience in her previous marriage, and she already have kid(s)

:)
Uh, dude, most disabled people are perfectly capable of having sex, at worst having to let their spouse be the dominant, active one in bed. Pretty much only the completely paralyzed are unable to.
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ardianto
11-30-2011, 02:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Futuwwa
Uh, dude, most disabled people are perfectly capable of having sex, at worst having to let their spouse be the dominant, active one in bed. Pretty much only the completely paralyzed are unable to.
I am not talking about disabled like that, but .........

as an adult, I think you know what I and akhee Qatada mean.
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Snowflake
11-30-2011, 04:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ghazalah
There are different level of Aspergers. Some can be very severe, in a sense the person will not leave their house, the way the make sense of the world and process information is very extreme. Or the very mild Aspergers.
However according to the latest DSM guide, if you have two of the symptoms of Aspergers for over 6 months, mild or severe, you will be diagnosed.
Jazakillah khayr sis. Masha Allah, you seem knowledgeable in Aspergers. Is it possible to have a high score and yet not have Aspergers? I am so complex that it leaves me very confused about myself. It's like I don't know who I am. Due to this I keep changing my name because I think the name will give me an identity. I guess it sounds crazy. But can you understand what I'm trying to say?
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Ghazalah
11-30-2011, 04:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose
Jazakillah khayr sis. Masha Allah, you seem knowledgeable in Aspergers. Is it possible to have a high score and yet not have Aspergers? I am so complex that it leaves me very confused about myself. It's like I don't know who I am. Due to this I keep changing my name because I think the name will give me an identity. I guess it sounds crazy. But can you understand what I'm trying to say?
Stigma is the problem with the DSM. The fear of being labelled as this or that as left many people to not get themselves checked out. Honestly though, according to the DSM almost 70% of people on this forum has atleast 3 disabilites on there lol it really is so ridiculous they do not take into consideration cultural differences or social experiences or anything of the like.

In regards to your question, don't worry about what people will think of you, don't worry about the stigma that will be placed on your head. For me, ask Allah swt to help you in all your affairs. A lot of the time you're just different, there's nothing wrong with you. You just think differently to the norm, and yet you will be labelled as something for the rest of your life. Just make dua to Allah swt to help you in your life, keep you in track of your deen, place your life in His hands and see the outcome. Also, practical advice; exercise often (gym, swimming, walking and the like) because it will keep you mentally aware, and you need this in order to be stable in all your thought processes, else Shaytaan will kick in.

Sorry to derail your thread truthseeker :embarrass
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Snowflake
11-30-2011, 05:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ghazalah
Stigma is the problem with the DSM. The fear of being labelled as this or that as left many people to not get themselves checked out. Honestly though, according to the DSM almost 70% of people on this forum has atleast 3 disabilites on there lol it really is so ridiculous they do not take into consideration cultural differences or social experiences or anything of the like.

In regards to your question, don't worry about what people will think of you, don't worry about the stigma that will be placed on your head. For me, ask Allah swt to help you in all your affairs. A lot of the time you're just different, there's nothing wrong with you. You just think differently to the norm, and yet you will be labelled as something for the rest of your life. Just make dua to Allah swt to help you in your life, keep you in track of your deen, place your life in His hands and see the outcome. Also, practical advice; exercise often (gym, swimming, walking and the like) because it will keep you mentally aware, and you need this in order to be stable in all your thought processes, else Shaytaan will kick in.

Sorry to derail your thread truthseeker :embarrass
I don't see Asperger's as anything negative, and would never resist getting tested for fear of being labelled. As you might already know, one aspie trait is a strong dislike of backbiting. This is true of aspies whatever their religious belief. So I actually think the world needs more aspies. I have asked a GP for a referral but never heard anything back. I have Fibromyalgia and so feel unwell a lot of the time. Because of this I refuse to do anything outside of my comfort zone - like socializing when I'm not feeling up to it. Some people do take this as my lack of interest in them, and others. But I don't care. If someone isn't going to bother understanding my difficulties then I'm not going to worry what they think. I don't think my level of iman has any impact on how I feel either. I've felt this way since I was a child. Over the years I've crossed many levels of iman. Sometimes back and forth. But it's never made any difference. I must stress that feeling this way isn't making me depressed etc. I just really wish I knew 'me'. I feel like a stranger to myself. I just want to understand why. I think talking about it on the internet is going to make me feel more misunderstood. So I will take it up with another GP insha Allah.



Assalamu alaykum : )
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Hamza Asadullah
12-01-2011, 11:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose

I don't see Asperger's as anything negative, and would never resist getting tested for fear of being labelled. As you might already know, one aspie trait is a strong dislike of backbiting. This is true of aspies whatever their religious belief. So I actually think the world needs more aspies. I have asked a GP for a referral but never heard anything back. I have Fibromyalgia and so feel unwell a lot of the time. Because of this I refuse to do anything outside of my comfort zone - like socializing when I'm not feeling up to it. Some people do take this as my lack of interest in them, and others. But I don't care. If someone isn't going to bother understanding my difficulties then I'm not going to worry what they think. I don't think my level of iman has any impact on how I feel either. I've felt this way since I was a child. Over the years I've crossed many levels of iman. Sometimes back and forth. But it's never made any difference. I must stress that feeling this way isn't making me depressed etc. I just really wish I knew 'me'. I feel like a stranger to myself. I just want to understand why. I think talking about it on the internet is going to make me feel more misunderstood. So I will take it up with another GP insha Allah.



Assalamu alaykum : )
Allah has made you special sis. Always remember that. He chose you and gave you such a condition so that he may bring you closer to him. He chose you as his special slave so grab this opportunity and strive to be the closest to him. Entrust ALL your affairs with Allah. Put ALL your reliance in him and know that he will NEVER let you down. He will give you peace and contentment in your heart that NO money or riches can buy. He will give you the sweetness of imaan that people would wage wars over if they knew about it.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next. Ameen
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Hamza Asadullah
12-01-2011, 11:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truthseeker63
In Islam can a Disabled/Handicapped marry ? While I am viewed as Disabled by the State having Asperger's syndrome I do desire to marry a Woman one day I am a Male by the way I just wanted to know if this would be allowed ? I for one don't have an issue with marrying a Woman on my level if no Woman wants to marry me who is not Disabled I also wanting to say that many Christians I talk to think I want to be a Muslim because I must be in love with a Muslim Woman many Christians say the samething about Women who become Muslims they do it because they are in love with a Muslim Man I know in Islam Muslim Women can only marry Muslim Men but I want to convert/revert to Islam because it is the truth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developmental_disability
In Islam any person who is sane can marry. It is only insanity which deems a person not fit to marry or fulfill the rights of marriage.

However if anyone has an illness, disability or learning difficulties then they would have to make it clear to a potential suitor before marriage takes place so they know what they are getting themselves into. The same applies if a person has a sexual problem or they can't have children.

So as long as you make it clear to a potential suitor and she accepts then thete are no issues in you marrying anyone.

And Allah knows best in all matters
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Snowflake
12-02-2011, 04:16 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah
Allah has made you special sis. Always remember that. He chose you and gave you such a condition so that he may bring you closer to him. He chose you as his special slave so grab this opportunity and strive to be the closest to him. Entrust ALL your affairs with Allah. Put ALL your reliance in him and know that he will NEVER let you down. He will give you peace and contentment in your heart that NO money or riches can buy. He will give you the sweetness of imaan that people would wage wars over if they knew about it.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next. Ameen
JazakAllah khayr for your reply Brother. I am very content regarding my illness, al hamdulillah. I am not feeling hard done by in any way at all. I never have felt I am being punished. Far from it, I thank Allah for His mercy to purify me of my sins in this world, and I don't like it when people make dua for my well being. I see it as losing a great source expiation of my sins. I don't know why I come across like I am complaining when I am not using words to that effect? To be truthful I avoid telling people that I feel very lucky and blessed in case they think I'm nuts. I think my brain works differently as I give information only for the purpose of explaining myself or my situation better, not as a means of making complaints, if that makes sense insha Allah.

HayyakAllah dear Brother. Ameen.
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Hamza Asadullah
12-02-2011, 09:19 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose

JazakAllah khayr for your reply Brother. I am very content regarding my illness, al hamdulillah. I am not feeling hard done by in any way at all. I never have felt I am being punished. Far from it, I thank Allah for His mercy to purify me of my sins in this world, and I don't like it when people make dua for my well being. I see it as losing a great source expiation of my sins. I don't know why I come across like I am complaining when I am not using words to that effect? To be truthful I avoid telling people that I feel very lucky and blessed in case they think I'm nuts. I think my brain works differently as I give information only for the purpose of explaining myself or my situation better, not as a means of making complaints, if that makes sense insha Allah.

HayyakAllah dear Brother. Ameen.
No sis you did not come across like you were complaining at all. I just felt like giving you words of encouragement so that you may feel a greater urge to get closer to Allah and view,your condition as a great blessing. I hope anyone reading who has a similar condition or any illness, trial or hardship feels,the sameway. It was also a reminder for me.

Feesabilillah.
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Snowflake
12-02-2011, 06:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah
No sis you did not come across like you were complaining at all. I just felt like giving you words of encouragement so that you may feel a greater urge to get closer to Allah and view,your condition as a great blessing. I hope anyone reading who has a similar condition or any illness, trial or hardship feels,the sameway. It was also a reminder for me.

Feesabilillah.
Masha Allah, may Allah reward you highly Brother. Ameen. Our time on this earth will seem to us in the hereafter, like it was an hour or more. Then we should imagine ourselves looking back and see it like that while we are here. This short time of hardships will hardly register compared to eternity. Better we think of the time ahead insha Allah. May Allah makes us grateful and of the Sabiroon. Ameen



It will be, on the Day they see it, as though they had not remained [in the world] except for an afternoon or a morning thereof.[79:46]

So be patient, [O Muhammad], as were those of determination among the messengers and do not be impatient for them. It will be - on the Day they see that which they are promised - as though they had not remained [in the world] except an hour of a day. [This is] notification. And will [any] be destroyed except the defiantly disobedient people?[46:35]

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Futuwwa
12-03-2011, 01:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
I am not talking about disabled like that, but .........

as an adult, I think you know what I and akhee Qatada mean.
No, I don't.
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SintoDinto
05-12-2023, 06:19 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah
In Islam any person who is sane can marry. It is only insanity which deems a person not fit to marry or fulfill the rights of marriage.

However if anyone has an illness, disability or learning difficulties then they would have to make it clear to a potential suitor before marriage takes place so they know what they are getting themselves into. The same applies if a person has a sexual problem or they can't have children.

So as long as you make it clear to a potential suitor and she accepts then thete are no issues in you marrying anyone.

And Allah knows best in all matters
wait, me personally i am unable to work due to my disability, can i get married to a woman who works or is that against the shariah? i could get disability benefits from the government? or work part time later in life? am i prevented from marriage, because that would be terrible because i have sexual urges too.
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Hamza Asadullah
05-14-2023, 01:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto
wait, me personally i am unable to work due to my disability, can i get married to a woman who works or is that against the shariah? i could get disability benefits from the government? or work part time later in life? am i prevented from marriage, because that would be terrible because i have sexual urges too.
No brother as long as the potential suitor accepts your disability, physical impairments and not being able to physically work and provide. In many Western countries those with disabilities are given financial benefits as I also have a close friend in a similar predicament and it can be difficult finding someone to accept such things but it is a test and Allah will reward those who patiently persevere for his pleasure beyond measure InshaAllah.
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