/* */

PDA

View Full Version : Is this permissible ?



anonymous
12-03-2011, 05:43 PM
salam,

I am Muslim brother whom engaged in pre-marital relation with a girl. Unfortunately we are not together any more at the moment which is okay , but I feel like I this was the girl for me and I should not have engaged in Zina and refrained from any type of sexual relations before marriage...

I really feel for her and although we are not together any more, I pray to God sincerely that after seeing how vulnerable women can be by other men that she not fall into any more sinful acts. I pray that God guide her keep her sanctity, protect her from evil and the haram out and to show her the way, strengthen her faith, her family's faith and her friends faith. I really want for her to not be involved in such sin and although she is not very religious she is smart and has morals and values which which I hope can translate to her becoming more accepting of the faith...

I guess my question is.. is it wrong to, after prayer for her to become a better person to also pray to God that he enjoin us in holy matrimony and create love amongst us. I under stand that whom I am to marry or my partner may already be prescribed to me but is it a futile act to ask God that he create halal ties between us, keep us close and bring is together in halal marriage?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Snowflake
12-04-2011, 12:58 AM
:sl:

Allah says in the Quran: Everyman, that Day, will have enough to make him careless of others. ('Abasa 80:37)

and...

Surah Al Abasa

80:34
On the Day a man will flee from his brother

80:35
And his mother and his father
80:36
And his wife and his children,
80:37
For every man, that Day, will be a matter adequate for him.


Thus, we must worry and repent for our own actions first. This isn't a rehearsal for Romeo and Juliet. It's a serious matter, so please don't neglect seeking forgiveness for yourself from Allah by worrying more about the girl. As for your question insha Allah, the following fatwa seems appropriate for your situation insha Allah.




Questioner: I hope you can help me as I am in a deep trouble. I knew some girl who works far from where her family lives. For two years we had a loving relationship, we were meeting and committing Zina (adultery), we agreed to marry because I can not forget her, and she can not forget me either. Since she knew me she became religious and changed a lot. Allah knows how much I love her. Do you advise me to marry her? I am suffering.


Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:

Before answering your question, we must remind you that it is obligatory to repent and regret what you have done with this woman, because you have fallen into several major sins, the most serious of which is zina (fornication) which is clearly forbidden in the Qur'aan and Sunnah, and the scholars are unanimously agreed that it is haraam, and wise people are unanimously agreed that it is abhorrent and evil.


Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah forgives him)”
[al-Isra’ 17:32]


And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing adultery.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2475) and Muslim (57).




There is a severe punishment for zina in al-Barzakh, before the punishment in the Hereafter. In the famous hadeeth of Samurah ibn Jundub (may Allaah be pleased with him) about the dream, it says:


“… then we [i.e., the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Jibreel and Mikaa’eel] proceeded and came to something like a tannoor (a kind of oven), in which there were clamouring voices.” He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] said: “We looked into it and there we saw naked men and women. Flames were coming to them from the bottom of it, and when the flames reached them, they made uproar. I said to them [i.e., the two angels who were accompanying him], ‘Who are these?’ … They said, ‘We will tell you. As for the naked men and women in the structure that resembled a tannoor oven, they are the adulterers and adulteresses.’”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6640).





Allaah has ordained the hadd punishment for zina. He says concerning the hadd punishment for an unmarried person (interpretation of the meaning):
“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”
[al-Noor 24:2]



As for the person who has previously been married, the hadd punishment is execution, In the hadeeth narrated by Imam Muslim in his Saheeh (3199) it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For a previously-married person with a previously-married person, [the punishment is] one hundred lashes and stoning.”


What we have said to you applies to the woman too, and she should realize that her sin is even worse, but because, as you say, she has become righteous, we hope that her repentance is sincere and that Allaah will forgive her by His grace and kindness.
Secondly:



You should note that if you have not both repented from the sin of zina, then it is not permissible for you to marry her, because Allaah has forbidden the zaani and zaaniyah to marry unless they both repent. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)”

[al-Noor 24:3]




Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
This clearly points to the abhorrent nature of zina, and that is tarnishes the honour of the one who does it in a way that other sins do not. Allaah tells us that no woman would marry a zaani but a woman who is also a zaaniyah, who is like him, or a mushrik woman who associates others with Allaah and does not believe in the Resurrection or in reward and punishment (in the Hereafter), and who does not adhere to the commands of Allaah. And similarly, no one would marry a zaaniyah except a zaani or a mushrik. “Such a thing is forbidden to the believers” means, it is haraam for them to marry zaanis or zaaniyahs.




What the verse means is that if a person wants to marry the man or woman who commits zina and has not repented from that, despite the fact that Allaah has prohibited that, then he is either not adhering to the ruling of Allaah and His Messenger, in which case he cannot be anything but a mushrik, or he is adhering to the ruling of Allaah and His Messenger but he agrees to this marriage despite knowing that this person has committed zina, in which case this marriage is also zina, and he is an immoral zaani. If he truly believed in Allaah, he would not do that. This clearly indicates that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah unless she repents, or to marry a zaani unless he repents, because marriage is the strongest type of companionship, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Assemble those who did wrong, together with their companions” [al-Saaffaat 37:22]. Allaah has forbidden that because of what it involves of great evil, and lack of protective jealousy, and attribution of children who are not his to the husband, and the zaani failing to keep her chaste because he is distracted elsewhere, any one of which is sufficient reason for the prohibition. End quote.
Tafseer al-Sa’di (p. 561).



The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
A man committed zina with a virgin and wants to marry her. Is it permissible for him to do that?
They replied:


If the matter is as described, each of them must repent to Allaah and give up this sin, and regret what has happened of immoral actions, and resolve not to do it again, and do a lot of good deeds, in the hope that Allaah will accept their repentance and turn their bad deeds into good. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse ___ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.


69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;
70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful


71. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]


If he wants to marry her, then he must wait for one menstrual cycle to establish whether her womb is empty before doing the marriage contract with her. If it turns out that she is pregnant, then it is not permissible for him to do the marriage contract with her until after she gives birth, in accordance with the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade a man to water the crop of another with his own water. End quote.
Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/247).



So repent to Allaah and set your affairs straight, and do a lot of good deeds, and after that it will be permissible for you to get married. We ask Allaah to accept your repentance and to forgive you, by His grace and mercy.
See also question no. 85335.
And Allaah knows best.

















.
Reply

جوري
12-04-2011, 02:47 AM
Haven't read the other advise but I think you should marry this girl and both of you repent insha'Allah..
Reply

Salahudeen
12-04-2011, 01:49 PM
It's not a futile act at all, because du'a is something that changes decree, make as much du'a as you want for Allah to join you with her in marriage.

But you should stop your relationship with her, and tell her it's wrong etc and if she wants to be with you then you will marry her but you don't want to sin anymore, and advise her that she should also repent as you have done.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
anonymous
12-04-2011, 04:04 PM
thanks for your responses..

Just to let you know I think what happened between me and this girl might of actually had a positive out come... Since after meeting this girl she taught me a lot about my self and how I need to improve as a person (moral character etc) and after having ended the relationship I also came back to religion way stronger so maybe it was Allahs plan all along, may be this is what needed to happen to bring me back to my faith...

Ma'shallah I could not be happier that I have found religion but I do miss this girl dearly, I think of her a lot to and images of me an her come back to my mind by I say as tag furallah and repent that it never happen again. I pray to God that I never fall into that type of sin again and I pray to god that he keep me and her Close and unite us in marriage. I pray for my sins as well as for hers. she's not the most religious person nor is her family which troubles me so I ask god to show her and her family and her friends the right path. All I could want is for my muslim brothers and sister (more so the ones I have been close with ) to follow the right path and inshallah allah will guide him so ever he wishes.
Reply

TrueStranger
12-05-2011, 03:43 AM
I pray things work out for you two. If Allah Wills, He could easily reunite you two in a halal matrimony. Make lots of dua and be patient.

Salaam
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
12-05-2011, 09:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
thanks for your responses..

Just to let you know I think what happened between me and this girl might of actually had a positive out come... Since after meeting this girl she taught me a lot about my self and how I need to improve as a person (moral character etc) and after having ended the relationship I also came back to religion way stronger so maybe it was Allahs plan all along, may be this is what needed to happen to bring me back to my faith...

Ma'shallah I could not be happier that I have found religion but I do miss this girl dearly, I think of her a lot to and images of me an her come back to my mind by I say as tag furallah and repent that it never happen again. I pray to God that I never fall into that type of sin again and I pray to god that he keep me and her Close and unite us in marriage. I pray for my sins as well as for hers. she's not the most religious person nor is her family which troubles me so I ask god to show her and her family and her friends the right path. All I could want is for my muslim brothers and sister (more so the ones I have been close with ) to follow the right path and inshallah allah will guide him so ever he wishes.
Asalaamu Alaikum, It is inevitable that after having relations with someone that there will still be feelings there. It will take time but know that whatever happened, surely happened for the best. Many are not as lucky and they drag their relationships and continue wasting each others time and getting more and more hurt. Allah saved you from getting more hurt and committing more wrongs so you should thank him.

You should not think of this girl anymore and the best way to do this is by getting rid of anything that reminds you of her and getting closer to Allah as much as you can each other, doing everything to please Allah and refraining from anything which displeases him. Continue to repent sincerely and let time do the healing. Ask of Allah to heal your heart. Make one last dua for her then never mention her again as she is nothing to you and by remembering her yor heart will take longer to heal.

Please read the following thread which is very relevant to your situation:

How to get through the pain and hurt from a pre-marital relationship

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...ationship.html

May Allah heal your heart and give you the best of this world and the next. Ameen
Reply

anonymous
12-06-2011, 12:51 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah
You should not think of this girl anymore and the best way to do this is by getting rid of anything that reminds you of her and getting closer to Allah as much as you can each other, doing everything to please Allah and refraining from anything which displeases him. Continue to repent sincerely and let time do the healing. Ask of Allah to heal your heart. Make one last dua for her then never mention her again as she is nothing to you and by remembering her yor heart will take longer to heal.
thank you for the advice. I understand what you are saying that by asking god to forgive her etc I will think of her more and stuff but I don't want to forget her...why would I ? I intend to marry this girl if given the chance inshallah. I have no intention to stop praying for her betterment, may allah show her the right path. Right now, I will try my best to come closer to God through all means necessary and pray that he prevent me from thinking evil thoughts of my past but I am sure there are other ways to get over bad thoughts that shaytan provokes than by completely shunning an individual out of your life.. that is is not the type of advice I would follow. Making dua for someone should never have any negative consequences in my opinion.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
12-06-2011, 01:12 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
thank you for the advice. I understand what you are saying that by asking god to forgive her etc I will think of her more and stuff but I don't want to forget her...why would I ? I intend to marry this girl if given the chance inshallah. I have no intention to stop praying for her betterment, may allah show her the right path. Right now, I will try my best to come closer to God through all means necessary and pray that he prevent me from thinking evil thoughts of my past but I am sure there are other ways to get over bad thoughts that shaytan provokes than by completely shunning an individual out of your life.. that is is not the type of advice I would follow. Making dua for someone should never have any negative consequences in my opinion.
If you intend to marry her then use the all the permissable means available to you in order to do so and do not delay. There is no guarantee that she will be yours in marriage, that is why you should not keep your hopes high incase things do not go your way. Rather you should ask of Allah to do what is best for you regarding this girl whether or not it is best that you marry each other or not. All the best.
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!