PDA

View Full Version : How often do you face disrespect?



Flame of Hope
12-06-2011, 08:15 PM
:sl:

How often do you face disrespect? Do you face this at home? Or only outside your home? Or both at home and outside? How do you deal with it? Do you keep it to yourself? Or do you lash out?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
syed1
12-06-2011, 08:47 PM
me personally, not very often.. I guess I don't get people the chance to disrespect me?
Reply

Huzzy_786
12-06-2011, 09:08 PM
Well it depends what kind of disrespect, from friends you'd expect them to joke about with you etc... maybe a insult here and there.... However I've seen people insulting teachers, and in today's generation this has become very common... but sometimes I just feel like getting up and ...
Reply

Flame of Hope
12-06-2011, 09:15 PM
:sl:

Disrespect comes in many forms.... from subtle.... to outright slander.

Even a look of scorn is disrespect.

When someone doesn't listen to what you are saying.... that's also disrespect.

I believe some people face it more at home.... especially younger ones whose opinions are not valued by their elders.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
syed1
12-06-2011, 10:24 PM
Originally Posted by Riham
I believe some people face it more at home.... especially younger ones whose opinions are not valued by their elders.
I am sensing some sort of personal dilemma you have at home? :nervous:

but yes your are right, elders have this preconceived notion that they are smarter or know better..etc..

there was an interesting case with a little boy who only 10 and asked his parents for money to invest in the stock market and they neglected him saying he didnt know what he was talking about.. and only have they realized that the little boys predicitions about the stock market were right and that they could of made money they began to listen to him...

Disrespect can be in any form.. I think these days it is a bit more subtle in some situations since a lot of people will disrespect you behind your back which is essentially back biting...
Reply

♥ Sofia ♥
12-07-2011, 06:29 PM
:salamext:

i react to different situations differently depending on their given conditions.

if you're talking about general disrespect then i think that's inevitable. everyone gets that - maybe different amounts, but not everyone's going to exactly jump up with joy when you walk into the room. on a personal level, i'm not really shown much disrespect on a daily basis. i was never one to be bullied. i'm the more up front character, if you will - i'm not implying people are scared of me as such, but i just know how to stand up for myself. people obviously try it with me but once they know me they know i'm not one to be messed with. again, that's not to be seen as a threat; i just know my place and know how to stick up for myself. that's quite an accomplishment seeing as i'm in a separate gender society for most of my day, and while that has its obvious benefits, the people around you tend to be quite patronising.

when i'm at home, i'm more reserved. i'm generally an uptight person who is pretty hot tempered, and i recognise that and need to definitely work on that major flaw insha'Allah, but i spend a lot of my time on my own because i have no siblings. my dad is usually at work or watching tv, lol, and when my mum's not doing housework, she sits with me and we spend time together, and there's a nice atmosphere in the house.

when it comes to people insulting my deen then it's a different story. i don't exactly bring out the guns and swords in the middle of class but i'm at the age where people start to form their own opinions and think they know everything. i've even seem some muslimahs slandering Islam, audhubillah... like today, for instance. i was talking to a non muslim girl and a fellow muslimah and we were on the topic of men and marriage. the non muslim girl asked if we get arranged marriages and i basically explained the islamic stance on marriage and how the build up to nikah should be carried out. then the other muslimah spoke up and had the nerve to say that it was a backwards practice and only traditional pakistanis carry that tradition out. i don't know what experience she had which made her say that but i know her parents had what you would call a 'love' marriage aka they actually dated first. i managed set her straight and, subhan'Allah, by the end of it, the non muslim girl was more accepting of the idea and thought it was sensible compared to the muslimah who thought it was a 'stupid cultural practice and muslims are allowed to date'.

the above example isn't what you would call direct disrespect but it's the closest i can really give at the mo. i used to hang out with a group of non muslims who were against islamic values. it wasn't upfront disrespect but it was hinted and was definitely there and it drove me away from them. the more i got into the deen, the more questions they asked. the more questions i answered, the more they thought islam was 'backwards', audhubillah. for example, one of them said they didn't get the whole israel-palestine conflict and thought that muslims were making a mountain of a molehill out of the whole situation - after they read about a dozen articles on the casualties in palestine and the whole situation and about israel's violent side. i don't get this sort of intolerance daily - and when i do it's more 'subtle'.

i'm not very good at dealing with disrespect, i have to say. people avoid getting into 'debates' with me because they tend to get very heated. i think i'm a bit over sensitive and the things people come out with make me uber suspicious and i just lash out. when i get angry, i burn up and go very hot and red. sometimes my eyes become damp although i'm not sad and i always blush hotly although i'm not embarrassed. it might be a natural reaction thing but i think i should work on it insha'Allah.

wow, i need to stop writing essays. lol.
Reply

Abz2000
12-09-2011, 11:22 AM
^ every single bit was interesting and i experience the same thing
Reply

ardianto
12-09-2011, 12:58 PM
An Indonesian famous da'i, KH Abdullah Gimnastiar said in his lecture "Not disrespect that makes us disrespected, but obsession to always respected by people will makes us disrespected"

He's right. There are many ways to show respect or disrespect. Often, people respect us with not show their respect. But sometime we want people show their respect with the way we expect. And if people do not show their respect in our expected way, we feel they disrespect us. If people know we have expectation like this, they will disrespect us.

There is "like" feature in this forum that can be used by other members to show their special appreciation to our post. But we cannot use this "like" feature to measure their appreciation or respect level to us. If we start to expect other members give "like" to our post, it's means we start have an obsession to always respected by people. And if other members know about it, they will disrespect us.

I give an example. I make a post and I expect other members give "like", but no one give "like". Then I make a new post and write "Why no one here give "like" to my post? is my post not good enough?"

I guess, no one here will respect me.
Reply

♥ Sofia ♥
12-09-2011, 04:00 PM
Originally Posted by Abz2000
^ every single bit was interesting and i experience the same thing
may Allah swt give us strength to overcome all of this.
Reply

Ramadhan
12-10-2011, 11:03 AM
I don't think I've faced disrespect in the past month. But maybe I get disrespected all the time, but I'm just too insensitive to feel it. lol.
Reply

ardianto
12-10-2011, 05:25 PM
Person who feel inferior usually will insult other person to make him/her feel superior.

So, if some people disrespect you just because you are not rich, your social status is not high, or you are not beautiful/handsome, do not ever feel disrespected. Just smile, and always remember, those who regard themselves as superior than you actually are those who feel inferior than other people.
Reply

GuestFellow
12-10-2011, 06:54 PM
I would love to smash their heads open with a water melon. But I ignore it, most of the time.
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!