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anonymous
12-12-2011, 07:49 PM
Salaam,

Can someone please tell me what's marriage contract? I am a sister and want to know if the following conditions are valid:

1. For him to marry only one wife
2. Provide my own housing (even if it be a small place)
3. Daily spend time with me for a few hours and weekend for us to spend time together

Now he is really family orientated , and wants to me serve inlaws daily which is gy I ask for time daily.
Now can he stipulate me helping inlaws in the contract?
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'Abd-al Latif
12-12-2011, 10:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Salaam,

Can someone please tell me what's marriage contract? I am a sister and want to know if the following conditions are valid:

1. For him to marry only one wife
:wasalamex

Yes, this condition can be made before the marriage contract takes place. However know that if your husband breaks this contract than your marriage with him is still valid and it is not Islamically permissible to ask for a divorce in such a case.

2. Provide my own housing (even if it be a small place)
This is a right he has to provide for you. However I advise you to be patient. Whatever the eventual case between you and him, be the best wife you can be.

3. Daily spend time with me for a few hours and weekend for us to spend time together
Why would a husband not do this? Men feel excited about their wedding and look forward to spending time with their spouse just as much as women do. We have to work hard to keep ourselves chaste, distancing ourselves from the other gender just as women do; and we want to fully enjoy the benefits of a person who is Islamically permissible for us just as much as you do. We, as you, have the feeling of needing companionship creep up on us every now and then and we want to enjoy having someone there just as much as anyone.

You'll probably have your husband spend a lot more time than just a few hours or a weekend with you so don't worry about it.

Now he is really family orientated , and wants to me serve inlaws daily which is gy I ask for time daily.
Now can he stipulate me helping inlaws in the contract?
He can and, if you agree to it, it will be of benefit to you in your next life to work hard maintaining family ties. But again the extent of serving the in-laws depends on the culture. Whatever the case, be the best wife you can be.
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anonymous
12-12-2011, 10:14 PM
So what is a marriage contract?
Can my father tell his father that he is to only marry one women? How does it work?
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'Abd-al Latif
12-12-2011, 10:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
So what is a marriage contract?
Can my father tell his father that he is to only marry one women? How does it work?
An Islamic marriage contract is a contract that Islamically binds you and a man as husband and wife. How this contract is performed is a lengthy topic, it's best if you look into it to know the ins and outs.

You can ask your father to make this request to him directly. A man does not need any guardians in marriage.
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anonymous
12-12-2011, 10:38 PM
Soif my father asks him directly and he agrees, and we have our nikkha done few months down the line does thr mean if he marries another women I have the right to divorce?
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Insaanah
12-12-2011, 10:57 PM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
1. For him to marry only one wife
According to ibn Taymiyyah, yes you can put this in. If he then takes another wife, you have every right to ask for a divorce if you so choose, or if you decide to stay in the marriage you can still do that too.

(The Fiqh of Family, Marriage and Divorce, Jamal Zarabozo, American Open University, 1997)

With regard to the woman stipulating that the husband should not take a second wife, the opinion of some scholars is that this condition is permissible, and if the husband breaks it, the wife has the right to annul the marriage and take her dues in full.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If she stipulates that he should not take another wife, this is permissible. Some of the scholars said that it is not permissible, because it is restricting the husband in something that Allah has permitted to him, and it is contrary to the Qur'aan in which it says (interpretation of the meaning): “then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four” [al-Nisa’ 4:3]. It may be said in response to that that she has a reason to ask him not to marry another wife and she is not transgressing against anyone. The husband himself is the one who is giving up his right; if he has the right to marry more than one, he is giving it up. So what is to prevent this condition being valid?

Hence the correct view with regard to this matter is the view of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him), which is that this condition is valid. End quote.

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/243

It should be noted that if the husband breaks this condition, his wife does not become divorced as a result of that, rather she has the right to annul the marriage, and she may either annul it or give up the condition and accept what her husband has done, and remain as his wife.

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allah preserve him) said:

Among other conditions that are valid in marriage is if she stipulates that he should not take another wife. If he fulfils the condition (all well and good), otherwise she has the right to annul the marriage because of the hadeeth, “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.”
http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/108806...ons%20contract

Also sister, just for your info, not all scholars view any conditions put into the contract as binding.

And Allah knows best in all matters.

:sl:
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ardianto
12-13-2011, 01:12 PM
:sl:

I do not suggest those who would marry make marriage contract because agreement like this indicate one, or both parties do not really trust another party. And this is not good, because marriage should start with trust between husband and wife.

You or your dad can talk with him about what you expect in marriage with him. And he can talk with you or your dad about what he expect in marriage with you. Try to reach an agreement without formal contract. Try to build trust between you and him.

And it's better if you invite Islamic teacher to give lecture about marriage and everything that included in marriage like role of wife, role of husband, relationship with inlaw, etc. And this lecture is not only for you and him but also for your parent and his parent. InshaAllah, it can make all parties know their roles without feeling compelled.

Get married is not so difficult, but build a family is absolutely not easy. Men and women should learn about build a family before they get married, and continue learn after they got married.
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Rhubarb Tart
12-17-2011, 03:17 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
Yes, this condition can be made before the marriage contract takes place. However know that if your husband breaks this contract than your marriage with him is still valid and it is not Islamically permissible to ask for a divorce in such a case.
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Riana17
12-17-2011, 09:35 AM
Asalam Ukhtee

When I married my husband I knew him enough and when the judge ask me if I have conditions, I never doubt for a second to say "No"

Just because He already knows my expectations and we both have good intentions, that is to build our family together with the GRace of Allah and leave the rest to Allah.

So Brother Ardianto suggest the best, its better to tell out your heart beforehand informally :)
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