Does God exist?

[anonymous]

I am/was a practicing Muslim. I am in my late 20s, financially and academically quite successful and rich. Here is my story. I've been looking for potential women for marriage in the last 2.5-3 years. I have been in contact with about 8 different women/families so far, and I have been rejected about 8 times by the women, not their walis. I tried to keep as Islamic as possible while meeting them in front of their mehram male. Since I am an analytical person, I wanted to know honest reasons for their rejection. So after each rejection, I sent all of these women emails about how I need to know the honest reasons for their rejection and that I will not be in touch with them again and that by knowing the reasons I might improve on them so I dont get rejected in future. Surprisingly, I feel this approach did help me to get honest answers from them. Here are some of the replies: 1- you were intelligent and funny but I dont think I was able to establish a connection with the way you physically are, and it'd be hard for me to be honest in our marriage if we do get married. I have so many other potential suitors who physically fit the description of my ideal husband. 2- You were humorous and that I think could add to our relationship if we did get married. But there are other essentials to a marriage as well, like physical looks. I am sure you would not want to marry a woman who did not look physically beautiful, its the same sort of thing. You do not have to feel bad about it, God made you in best possible way, but its just that I am not attracted to it. Sorry. Those are some of the replies. I know that I do not look like George Clooney or Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig. I do not have blue eyes. Rather I have murky dark brown eyes. My eye brows are not sharp, I have fuzzy eye brows. My nose is not slender, I have a crooked nose. My color is not like an egg white, I am muddy colored. My jawline is not perfectly angular. If God exists, why did He make me this way? If Muhammad was a messenger for all of humanity, why did God make him so beautiful? I have read Muhammad's biography, people said that he looked like a shining moon. Why did not He make His last Prophet ugly like me so that ugly people like me could relate to this Prophet of humanity? On one hand God tells us to stay away from zina, while He gives us sexual desires, desires to have a partner, and then He makes it difficult for people like me to get married by giving me ugly sh** looks and appearance.

[ardianto]

:sl:

One day when I was young I visited someone (male) house. Then, when I would leave that house I saw a woman and two teen girls, might be her daughters, on the terrace. I've never see them before. I smile on them but didn't say anything. But before I reached the gate, that woman called me "Hi!". I stopped and looked at them. They smile at me, and their mother said "Just want to say, you are handsome". I smile, say "Thanks" and leave them.

Yes, I was the handsome guy when I was young, although might be only for those who like Mongoloid men, because beauty actually in the eyes of beholder. It made me had an easiness, I didn't need to approach women, but women approached me.

I know, many men are dreaming to have life like this. They think handsomeness will makes women like them and fall in love with them. Is it true?

No!. If they have a life like my life, soon or later they will realize, not handsomeness or beauty that makes people like them. People like or dislike us from our behavior and from how we treat other people. Look around, you can find women talk about a handsome man "Huh! just because he's handsome he think he can be arrogant like this?!". Then look another side, you can find women talk about a man who not handsome "He's a nice, kind and friendly guy, I like him".

So, don't ever thinking you will not find a woman who loves you just because you are not handsome.

I became a handsome guy just because I was born from a beautiful woman. If Allah wanted me born from another woman, might be I would not handsome. Unfortunatelly, not every good looking person realize it. There are good looking people who regard themselves higher than average looking people, without they realize, their beauty will not exist longer.

Mister "S", my brother friend who I ever wrote about him in another thread is not a handsome man. Even he was born in poor family. Now he has been married and has two kids. His wife is good looking woman. And he is rich!. Yes, he's rich, and I am not.

Allah give me something that "S" didn't get. And Allah give "S" that not everyone get. He got many easiness in his life. It's because Allah fair. And fair not always means everyone get same things.

Maybe you are not handsome. But you are academically successful, and you are rich. You get something better than me. Even you have something better than many men.

As a man who rich and success, you will not hard to get a wife, as long as you do not use your success and wealth to get wife.

I know, what I say can confuse you. I will explain it in my next posts, InshaAllah. But now give me a break.

[FS123]

Listen Prophet (pbuh) life was not perfect, his mother died at birth, and father died later. So he was handsome, everybody has their test and trials in this world in different ways. Somebody has some and others have others. Same with the problems. As for your marriage, you will find someone, you are only in early stages of life.

[FS123]

I'm don't know if you are ugly, but maybe you were not their type. People have different preferences, so you might be the type of somebody else, get a better person in between who is better at match making.

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[ardianto]

I'm don't know if you are ugly

I believe he's not ugly, because if he's really ugly, those women would feel pity and would not say he's not attractive enough, but tried to create other reason to reject him.

[ardianto]

I explain I was a handsome guy not for show off, because my handsomeness has gone since long time ago. But I just want to correcting a misconception that beauty is the only factor that determine someone will love us or not.

[Riana17]

Asalam

I have mentioned before but whether you like it or not, I am very average Asian. I won't say ugly because that way I didnt appreciate Allah's creation.

and Whenever I pass to someone, no one looks back :D

Back to subject, do you know that I had many many suitors ONLY After they knew me, I mean my mood atleast..(this happened when I was not Muslim, I had an over gaga freedom)

in the end Allah bless me with very nice looking husband who never really give me headache, and MAshallah you can level my husband's look to this pics below (hmmm his looks is 95% as 2nd pic)

Countless times we go out, people ask, are you his housemaid? HAHAHAA loool

It's all about his manner that I love. I never really remember looking at him for more than few seconds, just because women never really care about looks, mostly she wants good mannerism (patient, patient, patient) & cleanliness of husband. I'm saying coz I'm married

And to tell you my husband's side (infact its too private to me but Ill share to make you understand me more), he always tells me "you know you are ALMOSSST ugly looking wife right?" and I will nod innocently...
But I never dream of being with someone else even if its Jennifer Lopez (well unless she begs me & never leave me lol), he meant it, coz Arab girls are so pretty mashallah, you will see millions of Kim Kardashian everywhere in Middle east

Many women wrote to him, liked him even gaysss, I wont say he is not attracted to these women reallyy,, he's not stone but when it comes to marriage, he is smart bcoz he knows marriage is tooo much work and beauty fades...

Seriously, I am sad about the title of this thread.
Do you know that Prophet Muhammad answers all the questions except when someone ask Does God Exist?

[GuestFellow]

Rejection is hard. Your smart and have a well-paid job. That's a good start in life! Looks is something we cannot change. So you need to find someone that likes your personality and your looks...I'm sure there is someone out there. Don't take rejections so personally and let you question your entire faith.

You may consider exercising and getting built? Do you think that will help?

[Ali_008]

Seriously??????? You're asking this question just because some chick rejected you? You gotta be kidding man!!

Look at this couple

Attachment 4493

[GuestFellow]

^ The rejections must have upset him. That's why it lead him to question his faith.

[ardianto]

If I put my photo when I was young here without tell anyone that's me, I guess, many member here will ask "who is this handsome guy?"

But if I put my photo that taken this year without tell anyone that's me, I am sure, all member here will ask "Who is this fat man?"

Yes, I am a fat man now. All of my company customer who don't know my name call me "Bapak Gendut" (Mister Fatty).

:D :D :D

My handsomeness has gone since long time ago. That's why I often said, beauty is not something that will exist longer.

But although now I am not the handsome, women still "like" me. It's true, but "like" in different meaning. They do not attracted to me, but they always respect me. It's because I always respect to them.

Like I have said, people like or dislike us from our behavior and from how we treat them. It's not true if good looking people treated better.

[Ghazalah]

Life is a test and people are tested in different ways.

Be thankful for what you have been blessed with (e.g. richness, academic success etc - there are people who struggle to have a morsel to eat each day). In fact, if you wanted to identify with Prophet Sallalahu Alaihe Wassalam more, you would have to ask to be poor and illiterate too, instead of just the looks.

And be patient during your struggles/regarding what you have not been blessed with.

To be frank, I think you have this entitlement mentality, as though God owes you something. That's not true. God owes us nothing and can test us in ways he considers best and it is our duty to submit to his will. Keep in mind our time in this world is fleeting.

In essence, you're basically rating Allah swt creation by what a few ladies have said? You're complaining about the way Allah swt created you? Who gave you that right? You should be thanking Allah swt for eyes to see with, a mouth that food can be placed into it, a nose to smell with. Not complaining to Him.

[ardianto]

The rejections must have upset him. That's why it lead him to question his faith.

Honestly, I don't know why Allah created some people as good looking people, and the rest are not. But I believe, Allah has His own plans, and I believe Allah is always fair.

Maybe this brother is not handsome although I am sure his not ugly. But he has success in education, and in financial. He's rich. Different than many people who still poor even if they are good looking.

I understand if those rejection really upsets him. Especially because those women told him, his physical appearance became their reason to reject him.

Women are attracted to handsomeness. It's true. Same like men are attracted to beauty. But there are women and men who rational, there are women and men who are irrational.

Those who rational realize, in marriage they marry a human, not beautiful statue. Then they start to notice the character and forget the beauty/handsomeness. But those who irrational still obsessed with beauty/handsomeness and do not notice on character.

And those who rational, if they cannot marry the handsome or the beautiful, they will open their hearts for those who not handsome or beautiful, but have good character personality, and behavior. The rational people are the right choice for those who want to get married.

My advice to the anonymous brother is leave women who rejected him just because he's not handsome. And try to find the rational woman. Maybe the rational woman is not beautiful. But trust me, not physical beauty that will make us love our wives, but how our wives treat us that will make us love them.

[GuestFellow]

I don't really believe in ugly and beauty. Throughout history, the idea of beauty and ugly changes. It is very subjective...

[Endymion]

Ever read the life story of Bilal RA,brother ^o)

I agree with Tragic typo that your depression made you create this comment about Muhammad SAW but i bet if you'll have to fast for continuous 40 days because you and your family have nothing to eat and you have to tie stones on your belly because of hunger,the only thing you'll think about is Bread not Looks.And Muhammad SAW was the one who faced all that and spread the message to the world and that is why He SAW is still alive even after 1400 years and we'll be forgotten just after we die.

I know girls who are beautiful but no men is ready to accept them just because they are not fashionable and modern.They were rejected because of their simplicity and their love of religion and not even religious men want to marry them.Everybody want Hijabi Angelina Julie lol And girls with ordinary looks but wearing tight clothes and faces painted with make up are ideal of almost every person.Things are different in different countries and on different people just remember that Allah SWT is the same.The world does not end on rejection of 8-10 girls.It is just there is a fixed time of everything.When Allah SWT want your wedding,He swt will make it happen.Do your effort but dont make your connection with Allah SWT the connection of necesity.

(45:23) Did you ever consider the case of him who took his desire as his god, and then Allah caused him to go astray despite knowledge, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and cast a veil over his sight? Who, after Allah, can direct him to the Right Way? Will you not take heed?

If your desire is your God,Allah SWT will give you everything just not His will so run behind the Lord who has the power of everything.Ask Him SWT and He SWT will make this one easy for you Inshallah.

(10:61) (O Prophet!) Whatever you may be engaged in, whether you recite any portion of the Qur'an, or whatever else all of you are doing, We are witnesses to whatever you may be occupied with. Not even an atom's weight escapes your Lord on the earth or in the heaven, nor is there anything smaller or bigger than that, except that it is on record in a Clear Book.

(10:62) Oh, surely the friends of Allah have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve -

(10:63) the ones who believe and are God-fearing.

(10:64) For them are glad tidings in this world and in the Hereafter. The words of Allah shall not change. That is the supreme triumph.

(10:65) (O Prophet!) Let not the utterances of the opponents distress you. Indeed all honour is Allah's. He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

[MustafaMc]

I have mentioned before but whether you like it or not, I am very average Asian. I won't say ugly because that way I didnt appreciate Allah's creation. and Whenever I pass to someone, no one looks back

... and you should be thankful to not be an object of desire and thereby a means to cause stupid men to sin by lusting after you.

Seriously, I am sad about the title of this thread.
Do you know that Prophet Muhammad answers all the questions except when someone ask Does God Exist?

I strongly agree with you. To be dissatisfied with one's appearance to cause him to question Allah's (swt) existence is a serious matter that borders on kufr.

[Salahudeen]

I have the looks but no job and money, personality is kinda boring too very quiet etc, doesn't make for interesting convo, so I also get rejected for these reasons and that's my problem, so you see even people with looks find it hard. Everyone's circumstances varies. Just keep trying don't give up, even if you don't get anywhere at least you can say you tried.

I find it helps to imagine partners in the next life inshaAllah lol.

Also beauty is relative to each individual I guess, for example what I find attractive in a woman my friend can't stand etc and it's same with women so I think its just a case of finding a woman who thinks your her type.

[Insaanah]

:sl:

I am in my late 20s, financially and academically quite successful and rich. Here is my story. I've been looking for potential women for marriage in the last 2.5-3 years.

You are a male, in your late twenties. That's not old for a male. There are sisters out there that are ten or twenty years older than you, who haven't been looking for marriage partners for 2.5-3 years, but probably for the best part of their lifetime.

I sent all of these women emails

It's better if you ask the girls mahrams/walis to find out from the girls why they rejected you, and tell you. It's better not to make contact with the women once it's decided that things won't work out.

If God exists, why did He make me this way?

This is a non-argument. Why can't He make you that way? He can do what He wills. If He promised in the Qur'an that He would make everybody drop-dead gorgeous, fair enough. However, He has said that people will face different circumstances, some will have more wealth, some will have less, some will have children, some won't, we all look different etc:

Sahih International
To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent. (49:50)

Sahih International
And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the diversity of your languages and your colors. Indeed in that are signs for those of knowledge. (30:22)

Pickthall
And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast, who, when misfortunestrikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return." Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly guided. (2:155-157)

We are all tried in different ways, and it is how we respond to it that counts. Do we lose faith, or do we try to have sabr and keep praying for what we need, knowing that Allah has power over all things, and gives to whom He wishes and withholds from whom He wishes, in His infinite wisdom?

Google facial disfigurements, it should make us all thank Allah.

And Allah knows best in all matters, and may He forgive me if I said anything wrong.

:sl:

[جوري]

^^ well said.. I am sorry but I found this thread so silly I didn't even want to partake in this non-problem!

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

As'Salaam Alaaykum wa Rahmatullaah wa Barahkaatuh

Great posts!

I have to agree, something someone will find attractive others will not, we all have our preferences, hasn't always got something to do with looks.

Even if the guy is handsome and what not if theres no deen then theres basically nothing!

Also this is not the fault of your lord just because some sisters rejected you, they rejected you as they felt that there was no physical attraction or all else you stated in your post. The prophet (p) went through hardship because he was put through great hardships by Allaah SWT, but he never blamed Allaah SWT once instead he thanked him and his state of emaan increased and was comforted by the words of his lord.

Let's please not blame Allah for the acts of humans, this is only shaytaan who's aim is to lead us far away from Allaah SWT, Allaah is your only hope, do not lose hope in him!

However, I hope you find this video beneficial inshaa'Allaah



Also, look at the words of Allaah for example in surah al Infitar - The Cleaving, i found that there is nothing I can say after the word of Allaah SWT!

"O man! What has made you careless about your Lord, the Most Generous?, Who created you, fashioned you perfectly, and gave you due proportion. In whatever form He willed, He put you together". [Al Qur'aan 82:6-8]

Not sure if i'm much of a help, but i hope that others posts have benefited you inshaa'Allaah..

[anonymous]

bluebell: Why do find my question so silly? Have you ever had to earn something in life or were you pampered throughout whole life? Have you ever people and peers around you tell you since you were a little child that how ugly, stupid, pieHce of a sh** you look like? Had ever ppl/kids etc around you in your childhood make fun of how your face looked like? I've let go off my repressed memories from past, but these rejections are reinforcing the same notion that most adult humans are not much different children. So why did I have to question God? I dnot know, I was just sh** depressed. Yea, people dont have food to eat and are dying, I was there too once, dont use that patronizing argument. Others, thanks for your replies. I dont know what future holds.

[جوري]

bluebell: Why do find my question so silly?

dont use that patronizing argument.

What kind of 'argument' would you like? for people to feel sorry for you or for someone to heroically self-immolate so you'd not feel singled out from all of humanity or for us to individually air out our dirty laundry to satisfy something that's truly ugly in your soul which has nothing to do with the way you look on the outside?

Allah doesn't exist because you perceive yourself as ugly.. that's why you're silly, and what you seek here is almost bordering on absurd but if that's the sort of counseling you seek then I hope you found what you were looking for!

best,

[جوري]

btw as an addendum to the above.. Looks will only take you so far, if you don't have the personality, desirable character traits, self-confidence, maturity, religiosity, autonomy amongst many other things then I suspect the number one reason you're being turned down is your neuroticism!
The frightening concept of losing your entire faith because of a rejection or seeking emotional stability from someone else in lieu of having a complimentary personality.. People pick up on those things, and when one is thinking of a partner they're thinking for better or for worse, in case of acid rain from the sky or winning the lottery.. so I'd think long and hard about the sort of image you're actually projecting to someone looking for a long term commitment to 'grow old & frail' with...

best,

[GuestFellow]

bluebell: Why do find my question so silly? Have you ever had to earn something in life or were you pampered throughout whole life? Have you ever people and peers around you tell you since you were a little child that how ugly, stupid, pieHce of a sh** you look like? Had ever ppl/kids etc around you in your childhood make fun of how your face looked like? I've let go off my repressed memories from past, but these rejections are reinforcing the same notion that most adult humans are not much different children. So why did I have to question God? I dnot know, I was just sh** depressed. Yea, people dont have food to eat and are dying, I was there too once, dont use that patronizing argument. Others, thanks for your replies. I dont know what future holds.

Salaam,

I'm sure you look fine. Have you considered working out and getting built? That can help. You don't have to go to gym. You can purchase some equipment and exercise at home if you want.

[anonymous]

bluebell: What kind of 'argument' would you like? for people to feel sorry for you or for someone to heroically self-immolate so you'd not feel singled out from all of humanity or for us to individually air out our dirty laundry to satisfy something that's truly ugly in your soul which has nothing to do with the way you look on the outside? Allah doesn't exist because you perceive yourself as ugly.. that's why you're silly, and what you seek here is almost bordering on absurd but if that's the sort of counseling you seek then I hope you found what you were looking for! best, No, I did not want anyone to air their dirty laundry, you made that up. You seem to be an arrogant and depressed person like myself but are taking out anger on someone else. Fine. No, my "ugliness" is not perceived. I have experienced it through reactions of other filthy arrogant good-looking human beings, the so called creation of a "Beautiful" God. If God is indeed Beautiful, why does He create ugly things? Bluebell:btw as an addendum to the above.. Looks will only take you so far, if you don't have the personality, desirable character traits, self-confidence, maturity, religiosity, autonomy amongst many other things then I suspect the number one reason you're being turned down is your neuroticism. People pick up on those things! best, It could be that my neuroticism is related to my experiences which relate to how I look liked. You dont develop such much desired characters like confidence, bravery, self-dependence, positive outlook, calm composure, out of thin air. It all depends on how childhood experiences were. Yea I wish I was in a position to reject females. Now I look at it, I'd find enjoyment in rejecting people too, much like they have found in telling me "sorry I cant marry you because a Beautiful God made you look like sh**." No, I dont need your sympathies. I was here to only ask if a Merciful God whose mercy exceeds wrath does exist, then this is not Mercy. Bye.

[anonymous]

@tragic typos: I do go to the gym and keep myself physically healthy.

[anonymous]

@ tragic: To add to that, I do not think God plays any role in me keeping myself healthy. If I did not go to the gym, Id become obese and dead from diseases. I now think that much like that, there is no God who decided to make me the way I am. It was just all in genes, my parents who decided to meet each other and mate with each other to bore me, in the way I grew in that womb.... God didnt play any role, cuz He seems to not exist or if He exists seems to not care at all.

[جوري]

"sorry I cant marry you because a Beautiful God made you look like sh**."

You're so full of crap that I think you should just crawl back to the bell tower!

Yes God is merciful if that's all the answer you sought from this endless diatribe.
I think we need to have a look at your face for the rest of what you say to have any semblance of truth.. or are you the personification of the anti-christ?

[GuestFellow]

@tragic typos: I do go to the gym and keep myself physically healthy.

Great! Keep searching and I'm certain you will find the right women. Nothing wrong with rejections. You will find someone better. It's like job hunting... :skeleton:

[anonymous]

bleubell: how am I so full of crap? I have posted two replies from the rejections in my first post, did you read them? Assuming they were honest, It seemed to me their nice way of saying exactly that " I am sorry that a beautiful Allah that I am so much in love with made you look like sh**."

[GuestFellow]

Bluebell, let's be diplomatic now. :skeleton: This is the advice section after all...

[جوري]

bleubell: how am I so full of crap? I have posted two replies from the rejections in my first post, did you read them? Assuming they were honest, It seemed to me their nice way of saying exactly that " I am sorry that a beautiful Allah that I am so much in love with made you look like sh**."

I have never seen an ugly person in my life and you've deeply piqued my curiosity .. in order to prove that you're not full of crap which you are.. making up B.S about God amongst other things, post your picture here.. prove that you're that ugly, let everyone be the judge of that..
I'll be waiting..

best,

[جوري]

Bluebell, let's be diplomatic now. :skeleton: This is the advice section after all...

which you you rather have a band aid on your boo boo so you don't have to look at it or a deep wound irrigation sutures and an antibiotic to kill an infection? Be honest in your reply to that question.
If I were going to seek help from someone I'd want to be honest and I'd want to receive an honest reply back.. Especially when we're speaking of God.. I find the stuff he says pretty sacrilegious..
before the fix I'd like some proof..

:w:

[MustafaMc]

Especially when we're speaking of God.. I find the stuff he says pretty sacrilegious..
before the fix I'd like some proof..

I agree that the OP title and his comment, "I have experienced it through reactions of other filthy arrogant good-looking human beings, the so called creation of a "Beautiful" God. If God is indeed Beautiful, why does He create ugly things?" is irreverent at best and at worst kufr or shirk asghar per another of your posts:

* to have no redha
This implies being inwardly dissatisfied with an inevitable condition that has been ordained for one by Allah (s.w.t.); to continuously lament that if one had not done such and such a thing, one would have had a better result.

[جوري]

I agree that the OP title and his comment, "I have experienced it through reactions of other filthy arrogant good-looking human beings, the so called creation of a "Beautiful" God. If God is indeed Beautiful, why does He create ugly things?" is irreverent at best and at worst kufr or shirk asghar per another of your posts:

* to have no redha
This implies being inwardly dissatisfied with an inevitable condition that has been ordained for one by Allah (s.w.t.); to continuously lament that if one had not done such and such a thing, one would have had a better result.

He has in fact listed other areas where he seems to have been abundantly blessed, and yet doesn't wish to hear the argument of those far worst than he ALL AROUND and an ongoing thing.. not merely a couple of years of hardship followed by lean years. We're actually asked in Islam to look at those worst off than we are, to count the gifts that we do have and we're told that there is a whole gate in paradise for the patient..
I don't even buy into the comments he alleges other people use against him. What kind of people would use such words when turning someone down? I can already tell he's full of it.
Allah swt doesn't create ugliness.. It is a matter of preference and we all have our preferences some might lack in some areas and excel in others.. there are gradations and variations in everything...
It is personality and character that makes people attractive and who they're on the inside.. Looks might get someone through the door but they don't sustain his likeability..
Anyhow yeah I found this thread offensive for more reasons than I care to count.. and if I am undiplomatic then so be it, we all have a private hell to deal with we don't have to make it into a curse fest and a sacrilege..

:w:

[Asiyah3]

:sl:

My relative of mine died today. And what does beauty or money benefit him now?

[Mikayeel]

:sl:

This thread has gone on for too long. Brother you are directly questioning Allah which in islam is a grave sin, and should not be tolerated in this forum. I appreciate you have issues, but you might find that a therapy can be very useful. Since you have a lot of sour childhood memories that are holding you back in your early adult life. It might well be depression, see your doctor to have a full assessment.

[Banu_Hashim]

:sl:

My relative of mine died today. And what does beauty or money benefit him now?

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. May Allah grant him jannah for his beautiful good deeds and forgive him for his sins, Ameen. JazakAllah khayr.

Some perspective for us! Work on beautifying your deeen, deeds and character people! I remind myself before anyone else. In fact the precious words of RasoolAllah (sallalAllaahu 3layhi wa sallam) in my signture sums it up!

قال رسول الله (صلى الله عليه وسلم): إن الله لا ينظر إلى صوركم و أموالكم، و لاكن ينظر إلى قلوبكم و أعمالكم

Indeed Allah (swt) does not look to your faces nor to your wealth but rather to your hearts and deeds!

[FS123]

Do you know that Prophet Muhammad answers all the questions except when someone ask Does God Exist?

yea I've my suspicions about the poster, what this has to do whether God exists. But I can't really read minds, I answered best to my abilities.

- hasbunallah ni'mal wakil

[FS123]

oh dear God what the world has come to.

You are complaining about just gurly rejections and asking why God made his last prophet (pbuh) handsome. Whether or not you like ßlµêßêll's replies, she is right on the money. You should be more worried about your line of thinking.

Take a look at this video:

[FS123]

[anonymous]

The title of my thread does give the impression that I dont believe a God exists. I do believe that Allah exists. My concern is that I have lost all reasons to believe that I need to worship Allah. Allah does not need my worship anyways, nor has my worship so far benefited me in one of most important parts of one's life: marriage and having kids. I am not "dying" to get married. However, I am sick and tired of having to deal with restrictions of not committing zina and seeking halal things when seeking halaal things has only brought me misery and feelings of dejection over the last 3 years. I never said I am THE only one who is ugly. I speak for all those who are perceived as ugly, at least in respect to their basic right to ask Allah that why did He create them in a way that "good looking" humans find reprehensible and feel entitled to their own "beauty." I speak for all those who were born with crooked noses and fuzzy eye brows and irregular unbalanced facial features. I speak for all those rejected for these reasons. These ppl might not agree with me regarding my anger at Allah but i am dead sure these people are hurt deep inside from the injustice committed on them by nature, evolution, or whatever it is. So yea, I dont deny God exists. I just question if I really need to worship Him and that if He really cares about me.

[anonymous]

fS123: its a valid question regarding Prophet. We are told in Islam to mimic Prophet. Pray tell me how can I mimic a "shining moon"???? Tell me how can I relate to Prophet's sunnah when he has gotten compliments for being handsome, beautiful, and I am anti-thesis of all that.

[Tyrion]

You're being really childish... Grow up.

[CosmicPathos]

Original Poster: I was waiting for others to give you advice but it seems you have not found your answer so far.

First of all, can you tell me, if you dont mind, if you have any connective tissue disorders? Or any congenital dysmorphia? Has any doctor diagnosed/treated you for that in the past? If not then maybe you are considering yourself ugly because you might have some facial features that are usually not pleasing to the masses' eye. I have not seen you so I cannot say how much of those "abnormal" features you have. So that you know, crooked nose might be "deviation" from the norm, but you can get it surgically treated. Moreover, there are many people in this world who have huge French noses or hooked noses. I am sure you agree that they have every right to feel as bad as you do?

Why do not you look at it this way, the women who rejected you, maybe they are the ones whose souls are dirty even though they are beautiful on the outside. Do you agree that these women will become old for sure and their skin which they are so proud of will wrinkle for sure and they probably will get fat too? So you should be rather laughing at these women that how shallow and narrow minded their thinking is when the same "ugly" fate awaits them. Why do not you think that you should be happy that Allah kept you away from these women by revealing their true nature to you before marriage?

Its all depends on your perspective. If you keep a positive perspective, all of this will make sense and you'd feel obliged to thank Allah for how he saved you from marrying women who rejected you merely for your looks. They did not look at your character, your closeness to Allah, your deen, your manners etc but rather your looks over which you had no control. I'd say feel happy!

[CosmicPathos]

You're being really childish... Grow up.

While I do disagree with his comments about God and his conclusion that God doesnt exist, I do not think hes being childish. He has real concerns, no matter how trivial they seem to us, that need to be addressed in the context of his issues. By calling other people's concerns childish, you do them no favor.

[Tyrion]

While I do disagree with his comments about God and his conclusion that God doesnt exist, I do not think hes being childish. He has real concerns, no matter how trivial they seem to us, that need to be addressed in the context of his issues. By calling other people's concerns childish, you do them no favor.

I think sis Bluebell has the right idea this time... Sometimes you have to be blunt and point out someone's foolishness, especially when they go this far. Besides, he says he's in his late 20's, so I think he can take it.

[CosmicPathos]

I think sis Bluebell has the right idea this time... Sometimes you have to be blunt and point out someone's foolishness, especially when they go this far. Besides, he says he's in his late 20's, so I think he can take it.

It depends. Many people who were indeed bullied in childhood and grow up with inferiority complex, being blunt with them might do more harm than good. For all we know, he might have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). So I dont think we should be haughty and nasty. It all depends on his circumstances, how he take challenges etc. On a forum like this, all we can do is tell him what are the flaws with his line of thinking in a kind way and make him not feel like a child.

More on BDD: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/291182-overview

[ardianto]

@anonymous brother

If you can visit my home I will introduce you to my friend. He's not ugly, and I never call him ugly, but I call him as "very far from handsome". :D

No, no, I call him like that not to insult him but to express my admiration. He's absolutely not handsome, but he has good confidence, and everyone like him, because he always respect to everyone.

He knew, he could not attract women with handsomeness. But he knew, women not always attracted to handsomeness. That's why he developed his personality.

Now he lives in happily with his wife and his kids.

So, brother, let those women reject you just because you are not handsome. Let people call you ugly, but do not regard yourself as ugly, because you are just "not a handsome guy", same like majority of men in the world. And try to develop your personality.

Remember what I have said, People like or dislike us from our behavior and from how we treat other people. Always respect to everyone, and everyone will always respect to you too,

InshaAllah, you will meet a woman who love your personality, and accept you as her husband.

:)

[جوري]

It depends. Many people who were indeed bullied in childhood and grow up with inferiority complex, being blunt with them might do more harm than good. For all we know, he might have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). So I dont think we should be haughty and nasty. It all depends on his circumstances, how he take challenges etc. On a forum like this, all we can do is tell him what are the flaws with his line of thinking in a kind way and make him not feel like a child.

More on BDD: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/291182-overview

I'd like the list of people on this forum or in general who WEREN'T bullied as children or called something derogatory at some point in their life and then we can have this conversation again. The majority of humanity face such things.. Not everything is a psychiatric case.. and even the things you read about in your course we all suffer a certain percentage of.. It shouldn't and it doesn't mean that we've to accuse people of things that aren't true, lose our faith and throw a tantrum or become down right sacrilegious.. In fact I have already stated that which is akin to br. Ardianto's advise ..looks will get you so far, it is character and personality that sustain you..

:w:

:w:

[CosmicPathos]

I'd like the list of people on this forum or in general who WEREN'T bullied as children or called something derogatory at some point in their life and then we can have this conversation again. The majority of humanity face such things.. Not everything is a psychiatric case.. and even the things you read about in your course we all suffer a certain percentage of.. It shouldn't and it doesn't mean that we've to accuse people of things that aren't true, lose our faith and throw a tantrum or become down right sacrilegious.. In fact I have already stated that which is akin to br. Ardianto's advise ..looks will get you so far, it is character and personality that sustain you..

:w:

:w:

You are right. We all face it but some people due whatever reasons (genetic, soul, rooh, environmental etc) are weak or are not built like a rock to tolerate all that we face. But dont you think we can address him with the goal in our mind to bring our Muslim brother back to Islam? Yes, his comments bordered shirk and kufr but why not try to bring him back to Islam rather than closing all doors for him by saying "thats it, you are a kaafir, good riddance."

Ive read his most recent post, he says that he doesnt deny existence of Allah. He just felt that he didnt need to worship Him. So we can always approach him keeping that in mind. And ive told him that maybe he should be thankful to Allah for saving him from marrying women who were superficial and rejected him because of the way his face/body looked.

[FS123]

The title of my thread does give the impression that I dont believe a God exists. I do believe that Allah exists. My concern is that I have lost all reasons to believe that I need to worship Allah. Allah does not need my worship anyways, nor has my worship so far benefited me in one of most important parts of one's life: marriage and having kids. I am not "dying" to get married. However, I am sick and tired of having to deal with restrictions of not committing zina and seeking halal things when seeking halaal things has only brought me misery and feelings of dejection over the last 3 years. I never said I am THE only one who is ugly. I speak for all those who are perceived as ugly, at least in respect to their basic right to ask Allah that why did He create them in a way that "good looking" humans find reprehensible and feel entitled to their own "beauty." I speak for all those who were born with crooked noses and fuzzy eye brows and irregular unbalanced facial features. I speak for all those rejected for these reasons. These ppl might not agree with me regarding my anger at Allah but i am dead sure these people are hurt deep inside from the injustice committed on them by nature, evolution, or whatever it is. So yea, I dont deny God exists. I just question if I really need to worship Him and that if He really cares about me.

I've crooked nose and unbalanced features, and you are not speaking for me. I don't really care much about these superficial things. I don't care if people think I'm ugly. In the end, I've I'll die and I'll be accountable for my deeds, not these things. If live is difficult, more good for afterlife. No pain, no gain. But I'm not asking for pain, just if it comes my way, which it does, it has its benefits. Its how I handle it makes me a better. I see model type guys they seem to get everything the girls and job, all they have to do is flash their smile. But it won't last long, it doesn't make them a better person. How we handle trials and difficulties makes us a better person. So you are just focusing on shining face, but ignoring more important thing, the character of the Prophet(pbuh) and his determination, and faith in Allah. Abu Lahab, maybe more beautiful, his name comes from his health, but what good it did for him? Nothing.

[ardianto]

As a man who rich and success, you will not hard to get a wife, as long as you do not use your success and wealth to get wife.

I know, what I say can confuse you. I will explain it in my next posts, InshaAllah. But now give me a break.

A common mistake that done by man who "not handsome" is use wealth to attract a woman. He show off everything he has to this woman, and -this is fatal mistake- tell this woman, he will buy this woman anything if this woman marry him.

There are two bad qonsequence if we use wealth to attract women.

First, we will get materialistic woman who only love our money but will leave us when we lose our wealth.

Second, if this woman is a good woman, she will regard us as arrogant man who think can buy women with money. It will make this woman lose her sympathy to us.

So, let the woman you intend to marry know that you are rich and have good income, because financial safety is important consideration for woman to consider will marry or not marry us. But try not show off. It will makes this woman regard you as humble person, and it will make her has sympathy to you.

[Riana17]

... and you should be thankful to not be an object of desire and thereby a means to cause stupid men to sin by lusting after you..

Asalam, thanks and I am describing to him what kind of look I have and it doesnt mean I am sad when no one looks back :P
Alhamdollellah I am healthy, I have good job and in top of all ALLAH guide me to this beautiful way of LIFE (ISLAM), I mean what more can I ask for?

there are soo much good looking people who are sick, or not sick but crazy to change something in their body. For example, now there 300,000 women who needs to see their surgeon and remove the defected breast implant as people starts to get cancer... or the baby who was born earlier with one body & two heads .

To our Brother Anonymous, LOOK IS NOT AN ISSUE, if you cannot accept this it means you are questioning God's creation, I was there (I wasnt Muslim yet), your Imaan is low, we all know you cant change the way you look but you can change your outlook by being positive.

Dont focus on negative issues, there are so much things to look on, your good health, food that we eat daily, time we have, job... countless
There are many ways not to be depressed and feel good, go to Islamic organization and join the activities, or help a man cross the road. Watch an inspiring movie like Amelie

If you continue to focus on your look, believe me, not only you are convinced you are ugly but people starts to believe you are indeed UGLY

Its about mannerism, your character, the way you talk and behave, as long as you are clean, taking a bath daily, changing clothes daily, put a bit of perfume, cut your hair, wear clean clothes, and most importantly delete the idea that you look ugly.

We understand you are very depress but I hope you wont question God's existence anymore coz it means permanent death to doubt God's existence

[ardianto]

There is difference between physical beauty and good appearance. Physical beauty is something that we have since we were born, and not every person get it. But good appearance is something that can be created by anyone.

We don't need to be beautiful to have good appearance. If we always maintain ourselves like always keep our body clean, wear good and suitable clothes (cheap clothes is okay), always in good manner when we are interaction with other people, we will look good.

But if we are beautiful but we never maintain ourselves and we are always in bad manner, we will look bad in the people's eyes.

There are many men and women who are not physically beautiful, but they have good appearance that makes them look good. I suggest the anonymous brother choose a woman like this.

I know, many young brothers who haven't married want to have beautiful wife. It's normal. But ....

My wife now has been 43, but people always say, she's still beautiful. Yes, my wife is beautiful woman. And she was a favorite woman which many men tried to get her. But. it's make me proud?

No! I never proud because I have beautiful wife, but I am always happy because I have a good wife who always love me and treat me well. I love her not because her beauty. That's why she married me, because I was different than other men who attracted to her beauty. I was her close friend who always treated her as a human, not as a beautiful doll.

Okay, I understand if young brothers want to have beautiful wives. But let me to remind, there is a hard competition to get a woman like this. There are many men who want to get her, and it's makes her becomes very selective to select a man as her partner. She can select a man based on various factors like handsomeness, or wealth, or popularity of that man.

I have read the anonymous brother first post which he wrote the answer from women who reject him. I make a conclusion, they are women who received many marriage proposals, and it makes them very selective. I guess, they are beautiful.

So, I suggest the anonymous brother and other brother who have same problem to 'switch the target' to women who are not physically beautiful but have good character, good personality, and know how to maintain themselves to makes them look good although not physically beautiful.

Women like this usually are not too selective. They do not expect Mister Perfect, but they expect a man who can treat them well as a woman, and as a wife. No matter if this man is handsome or not.

Purpose of marriage is not to gain a proudness as the winner who won the competition to get a beautiful woman, but to build a happiness in our life. Trust me, not outer beauty that will make us love our wives, but their inner beauty that make us feel happy with them. And only women who have good personality and good manner who have inner beauty.

[BeTheChange]

I know this is a very long read but please, have a read for your sake in sha Allah. Look at how the elderly dependent man illustrated patience through the trial of his son. Please make time to read this and live your life by this example in sha Allah.



178673: She is complaining about being "ugly".

---

Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. With a dark complexion, acne prone skin, misaligned teeth, and average height, I consider myself ugly. So does that mean Allah hates me? I have heard taunts about my looks for a long time. I have been through a lot of social pressure because of how I look and remain depressed most of the time. Some have even blatantly expressed their concern over my marriage. Where is my position in Islam regarding all this, since Islam encourages men to marry beautiful women? I cannot thoroughly blame others for their concern, because they are in a way quoting the Quran. But then again where is my fault? I didn’t choose to be ugly. And how does one justify the fact one is rejected socially, rejected for jobs, rejected for marriage proposals, all because one is not good looking enough? Where is Allah’s justice in this when He has created us all equally?.


Praise be to Allaah.

Know dear questioner, that all of Allah’s creation is good, but Allah may test a slave with sickness or a defect or ugliness and the like due to a wisdom He is aware of, and a benefit He wished for you to attain.

Beauty and ugliness are like sickness and health, wealth and poverty, and success and failure; Allah has distributed all provisions between His slaves through His vast wisdom, perfect mercy and abundant favour upon His slaves. Granting of any of those things or others is not an indication of Allah’s love for the one to whom He granted or provided those things. Nor is withholding any of them a sign of His displeasure towards the one being deprived. Allah says (what means):

“15. And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me."

16. But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me."

17. No! But you do not honor the orphan

18. And you do not encourage one another to feed the poor.

19. And you consume inheritance, devouring [it] altogether,

20. And you love wealth with immense love.” (al-Fajr 15-20)

Sh. As-S’adi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

“Allah the Exalted informs of the nature of man as he is, that he is ignorant and unjust, and does not know the outcomes of things. He thinks that whatever condition he is in will continue and never cease and he thinks that Allah’s honouring him and favouring him in this world is an indication of his honour and and closeness to Him. And when “He tries him and restricts his provision” such that he has only his needs with nothing extra, then this is an insult from Allah. So Allah responds to him his estimation by saying (what means) “No!” i.e. Not everyone I have bestowed favours upon in the world is honoured by Me, and not everyone whom I have restricted provisions for is lowly before Me. Rather, wealth and poverty and abundance and restrictedness are tests from Allah and trials which He puts His slaves through, to see who is grateful to him and who is patient so that He may reward them a great reward for it as compared to those who do not, so they are given a painful punishment. As well: A slaves aspirations may not go beyond himself, due to weakness in zeal, so Allah rebukes them for not being concerned about the affairs of the needy creation…” End quote from Tafsir as-S’adi (924)

If people were to follow your example in your speech, thought and displeasure over the will of your Lord and His destiny for you –may Allah forgive you- there would only be complainers and disgruntled people on earth.

The ill would say: why have You made me ill and saved the people? The poor would say: Why have you made me poor and made others wealthy? Those being tried would say: Why are you trying me and left others in a good state?

The believer is to be pleased, observe patience and anticipate reward while others become annoyed with and complain about their Lord.

Do you not realize that you have two eyes with which you can see while millions cannot even see?!

Do you not see that you are able to walk on your own two feet, you go and come wherever you wish while an infinite number of people are paralyzed and disabled?!

Let’s say you lost all that; do you not realize Allah’s favour of Islam upon you, and that He chose you for this great favour (which all the pleasures of the earth cannot equal) over most of the creation who do not believe in Allah. On the Day of Resurrection, Allah the Exalted will say (what means): “Oh Adam! And he will respond, Here I am and blessed by You, and all good is in Your hands. Then He will say: Remove the delegation of the fire! He will say: And what is the delegation of the fire? He will say: From every thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine. Al-Bujari (3099) and Muslim (327)

Ponder over this story, O maidservant of Allah:

Al-Awza’i narrates from ‘Abdullah ibn Muhammad that he said:

I went out to the shore as a patrolman and our patrol at the time was in ‘Areesh Misr. When I arrived at the shore, I came upon an open area and there was tent on it. In the tent was a man who had no hands and legs and he was hard of hearing and sight. None of his limbs were of benefit to him but his tongue, and was saying: O Allah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference.

Al-Awza’I said: ‘Abdulla said: By Allah, I will certainly go to this man and I shall certainly ask him about this speech. An understanding, or knowledge or inspiration which was inspired to him?

So I approached the man and greeted him and said to him: I heard you and you were saying: O Allah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference.; so what favour from the favours of Allah upon you are you praising Him for? And in what way did He prefer you over others a great preference that you need to thank Him for it? He said: Don’t you see what my Lord has done? By Allah, if He sent the sky to me as a fire which burned me, or ordered the mountains to crush me, or the oceans to drown me, or the earth to swallow me up; it would only cause me to be more grateful to my Lord for the favour of this tongue He bestowed upon me.

However, O slave of Allah: As long as you have come to me, I have a need of you! Perhaps you see me and the state I am in, I cannot harm nor benefit myself. I had a young son who used to come to me at the time of prayer and help me do my ablution, and when I became hungry he’d feed me, and I became thirsty he’d provide me with a drink but I have missed him for the last three days, so please look for him on my behalf may Allah have mercy on you.

I said: By Allah, no creature could fulfill the need of another which is greater in reward with Allah than a need similar to yours. So I set out looking for the young boy, and I hadn’t gone far before I came by a sand hill, and behold I found the boy who had been preyed upon by a beast which ate his flesh! I did istirjaa’ (saying Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return) and said: How am I going to be able to face this man with a gentle face?!

As I was heading towards him, the thikr (words of remembrance) of Ayyub the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) came to my heart. So when I reached him I greeted him and he responded and said: Are you not my companion? I said yes! He said: What did you do about my need? I said: Are you more honourable in the site of Allah or was Ayyub the Prophet? He said, of course Ayyub the Prophet. I said: Do you know what His Lord did with him? Did He not test him in his wealth, family and children? He said, yes. I said: How did He find him? He said: He found him patient, grateful and praising. I said: He was not pleased with that for him until his relatives and loved ones deserted him? He said, yes. I said: How did His Lord find him? He said: He found him patient, grateful and praising; make it short may Allah have mercy on you. I said to him: The young boy you sent me in search of, I found him in a sand hill having been preyed upon by a beast which had eaten his flesh. May Allah increase for you tour reward and may He inspire you with patience.

The tested man said: Praise be to Allah Who did not create from my progeny creations who would disobey Him and He would then punish them by the fire. He then did istirjaa’ and breathed a sigh and died.

I said: Indeed to Allah we belong and to Him is our return. What a huge calamity before me; a man like this, if I were to leave him the beasts would eat him, and if I stay I won’t be able to harm nor benefit. So I covered him in a cloak which was over him and sat at his head crying.

As I was sitting, four men came upon me and said: O slave of Allah, what is your situation and what is your story. So I told them my story and his. They said to me: uncover his face for us, perhaps we know him. I uncovered his face and the men fell upon him kissing his eyes and his hands alternately and saying: May our father be sacrificed; for how long these eyes were lowered from the prohibitions of Allah. May our father be sacrificed; for how long this body prostrated before Allah while the people were sleeping.

I said: Who is this, may Allah have mercy on you? They said, this is Abu Qilabah al-Jurmi, the companion of ibn ‘Abbas. He had tremendous love for Allah and the Prophet of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him)!!

So we washed him and shrouded him with clothing we had with us and prayed over him and buried him. The men left and I went back to my station. When night fell, I put my head down and saw him in a dream, in a garden from the gardens of Paradise wearing two garments from the garments of Paradise while reciting the revelation (which means): “Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.” (13:24).

I said: Aren’t you my companion? He said, yes. I said: How did you receive this?! He said: Verily, with Allah are levels that cannot be attained except with patience at times of trial and gratitude at times of prosperity along with fear of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, in private and in public. End quote from “ath-Thiqaat” by ibn Hibban (5:3-5)

Have you seen the state of this slave O maidservant of Allah? Did you see his praise of and pleasure with his Lord? Did you see how the blessing of faith from Allah was greater to him than all he lost? Do you see that there are many things for which you and others can still praise and thank Allah for. They are innumerable, leave alone being able to properly thank Allah for them. So, O maidservant of Allah, don’t deprive yourself of those lofty positions by being upset with the will of Allah or by thinking evil of Him or allowing your tongue to tire of remembering Allah and praising Him and thanking Him and turning to blaming Him and having a bad opinion of Him.

If you don’t have a share of beauty, then what did the non Muslim woman who was deprived of Islam do with her beauty while your Lord granted it (Islam) to you? Where is she now if she has passed on? And where will she be tomorrow if she died upon disbelief? Will her beauty be of benefit to her on the Day when neither wealth nor children will be of benefit, except those who come to Allah with pure hearts?

Would you really be pleased with the alternative? That you be beautiful but non Muslim and that she be ugly but Muslim?

There are many such questions you need to ask yourself and answer in light of this reality in which you are displeased with your Lord.

Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, says (what means): “And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.” (20:131)

Sh. As-S’adi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

“i.e. Don’t extend your eyes out of amazement and don’t keep looking out of approval at what people are enjoying of worldly gains such as tasty food and drink and fancy clothing and adorned homes and beautified women, for all that is from the splendor of worldly life which the souls of deceived ones rejoice over, and which the eyes of the negligent are amazed, and which the wrongdoers enjoy – without thinking of the hereafter. Then it all passes by quickly and disappears and kills those who love and adore it and they egret at a time when regret is of no benefit. Then when come forward at the time of Resurrection they will know what they were upon and that Allah had only placed it as a trial and test, to see who would be deceived by it as opposed to who would be better in deed as the Exalted says (what means): “Indeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed. And indeed, We will make that which is upon it [into] a barren ground.” (18:7)

The immediate provisions of your Lord of knowledge, faith and the reality of righteous deeds and the deferred provisions of everlasting pleasures and a good life in the neighbourhood of your Lord, the Merciful, is greater (in essence and description) than what We have bestowed upon some and it is more lasting for it never gets cut off; food and shelter is continuous as the Exalted says (what means): “But you prefer the worldly life, While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.” (87:16-17)

In this verse there is an indication that if a slave sees himself having cravings for the beauties of the world and is inclined towards them, he should remind himself of what is ahead from the provisions of his Lord and balance between the two.” End quote from “Tafsir as-S’adi” (pg. 516)

Indeed your happiness lies your having a good opinion of your Lord, and your Lord (His Glory is great) is as one hopes Him to be, so He is more deserving than beauty and He is worthy of fear and adequate for [granting] forgiveness.

Your happiness lies in being pleased with Allah’s choice for you and in knowing that it is better than what you choose for yourself and in asking Allah of His bounties and in knowing that He is appreciative and Knowing and Wise and Merciful.

So O maidservant of Allah, hasten to repentance to your Lord from what the devil has cast into your heart and caused to flow from your pen or tongue from displeasure of the decree of Allah and displeasure at the distribution of Allah and having a bad opinion of Allah (may He be exalted). And know that the favours of Allah upon you and others is far from being enumerated and accounted for by you. Allah the Exalted says (what means): “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (14:34)

And the Exalted said (what means): “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (16:18)

For further benefit, look at answers 34170 and 100942

And Allah the Exalted knows best.


SOURCE: http://islamqa.info/en/178673

[BeTheChange]

If you haven't already done so, please listen to this very mini lecture as well.

Allah swt is the controller & decides what we should or should not be blessed with.

Appreciate what you have!

"This life is not meant to be fair".

It's a fab lecture.

[~ Umm Aaminah ~]

:salamext:

From a personal opinion brother, I have been struggling with weight all my life. I lost quite a significant amount, got married, put it back on, got pregnant, put more on, lost a huge amount after giving birth and hitting gym, and now have gained a bit more again.

The point of the confusing paragraph above, is that when I lost weight a couple of times, I wanted to wear fitted clothes, and Allaah :swt: most definitely Knew what I was going through, and so I feel that I gained weight again so I didn’t wear fitted clothes and plunged into sin. :alhamd:

Allaah :swt: does everything for our best, Allaah :swt: Loves us 70x more than our own mother, and your mother would never want anything bad for you, would she?

May Allaah :swt: grant you Sabr and Tawakkul through this, Ameen.