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Riana17
01-11-2012, 10:12 AM
Asalam Alaikkum

I am a type of a person who is almost open book (to people close to me) I am no mysterious at all, so literally I am selling the informations, e.g. I like talking more than listening

When Im happy you'll know it, when Im upset you'll know it, I have no control over my emotions.

Talking alot has many negative impacts to me, its not that I wanted to be mysterious, no, no, I don't like secrets (e.g. to my husband) but I seriously wanting to learn to listen more than talking, I wanted to learn the proper way, inshallah

I do not like my way anymore and it is difficult because I think my personality is TAKTAKTAK which means when I am mad I would say whatever I feel so I would feel better.

For instance, when I see something "bad" my anger would control me and I will regret it later on because I have said so much, I don't have sabr (patience) especially when it is too personal (well at work I have sabr)

I wont consider myself talkative all the way too, infact people not known to me thinks im quiet.

I hope there are effective tips out there to learn in listening or buying more than selling.





P.S. here we call listening as buying (info) and talking alot as selling
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~ Sabr ~
01-11-2012, 10:23 AM
:salamext:

Could you explain your post in simple English if possible? I re-read it 3 times and didn't understand?
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ardianto
01-11-2012, 10:42 AM
Assalamualaikum, sister Riana.

For now, I have not found a proper solution. But this relates to your personality which is an extrovert type.
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Riana17
01-11-2012, 10:48 AM
Originally Posted by Umm Ahlaam
:salamext:

Could you explain your post in simple English if possible? I re-read it 3 times and didn't understand?
Wa Alaikkum Salam

Sorry to confuse you sis, I am not good in english.

Originally Posted by ardianto
Assalamualaikum, sister Riana.

For now, I have not found a proper solution. But this relates to your personality which is an extrovert type.
Walaikkum Salam Brother

I would'nt say im extrovert, I'm not outgoing, infact I like being at my home and I dont like gathering or party. My routine goes to work 8hrs daily, eat, relax little and sleep. It only differs on business day. Peace, calm and serenity are privilege I enjoy the most.

I never like to have attention of anyone except my family or very very close friends. What about being center of attention, it's embarrassing for me. I dont feel comfortable when someone stares at me for a minute.

Thanks for helping.
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ardianto
01-11-2012, 11:30 AM
Not every extrovert person like being the center of attention, and not every introvert person like to hide in the room and avoid people. It's depend on the level of extroversion and introversion.

Now read what you have written

I am a type of a person who is almost open book (to people close to me) I am no mysterious at all, so literally I am selling the informations, e.g. I like talking more than listening

When Im happy you'll know it, when Im upset you'll know it, I have no control over my emotions.
Yes, you have extrovert personality.

My sister, you will not be able to be a person who can listen more than talk like introvert person, because you are extrovert person. If you force yourself become an introvert person, it can cause a psychological problem.

So, always be yourself. It's okay if you like talking more than listening. Nothing wrong with it, even it's good. But try to control your anger. Your problem is not because you talk more than listen, but because you cannot control your anger.

Just for information. Majority of people in the world are extrovert, and the rest are introvert.

:)
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Riana17
01-11-2012, 11:35 AM
Ahaha
I smiled & laugh

So it means I'm both?

I think you are right, the problem is not with talking or listening. The problem is with balancing

How do I do that? hmm patience?
I am straggling with patience, does it come with the age?
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ardianto
01-11-2012, 12:56 PM
Originally Posted by Riana17
I am straggling with patience, does it come with the age?
Patience does not come with age. But it come with experiences which become lessons in our life.

But sis, I did not say "hold your anger", but "control your anger". If you want to angry, just angry, but always control yourself, try not to say any word that can offend other people.

I understand if you are easy to angry when you see something bad. It's because, like I have said, you are extrovert, and .... you are a woman.

I am familiar with extrovert women. My mother is extrovert woman, my wife is extrovert woman too. And I am so familiar with their anger. :D
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Eric H
01-11-2012, 05:26 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Riana17;


The Messenger of Allah said:

"If a man gets angry and says: "I seek refuge with Allah, Subhaanahu Wa Ta'ala" his anger will go away."

You might watch this Islamic video on anger, it tries to explain the differences between the things people find important in this life and the important things for an after life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTWn8...layer_embedded

In the spirit of striving to forgive and be merciful

Eric
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joyous fairy
01-11-2012, 06:38 PM
Assalam alaykum sis.

A few suggestions that could help:

- When you feel you are getting too angry try and remember that everybody makes mistakes, nobody is perfect. It is more likely that the person you are angry with is already regretting what they did and you should try and keep ypur anger/thoughts in because it could affect the person negatively. If you are shouting they might just take no notice of what you are saying, but if you say it calmly, they are more likely to listen. To add to this, your mood might rub off on the person, so if you are angry, they may see that and become more angry, making them say/do things that will make them feel bad afterwards.

-Remember, forgiveness is important. Forgive people, think about how you would feel if nobody forgave you for your mistakes. And Allah (swt) is the Most Forgiving, how can we have a right to judge someone based on a few actions when we dont know what is truly in their hearts.

- If you feel that you will lose it in a particular situation, just breathe and walk away for a few minutes to think. Go outside for a walk or go and do Wudhu to think things through and calm yourself down.

- And of course, as mentioned above, say Audhubillah

Hope this was of some help, inshaAllah.
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Riana17
01-15-2012, 04:52 PM
Asalam to all

Thank you all for trying to help me, I really wanted to control my anger and think properly
I sincerely do, I need to practise more, I have noted the tips, inshallah I will make a table

also want to decent my voice, I can be loud in speaking at home lol
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