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ILuvAllah
02-05-2012, 12:21 AM
I just realized something. I'm seeing a counselor who is a Christian chaplain. I've been telling him how low I feel about myself for not being able to achieve anything in life. My parents are upset on me because I have not lived up to their expectations. My family make me feel sorry for myself. shame on me, how ungrateful am I to Allah? He is giving me strength and support and Im doing things which I never imagined that I was capable of doing. He is helping me to achieve my goals. I may be a failure to my family, to dunya but I know I am a winner in the sight of Allah. and I worry about what people expects of me? what they think of me? Shame on me. I should only worry about what Allah think of me.

Another reason I feel so ashamed of myself is that I dont know how to give dawah because I dont have much knowledge. I have not been able to give dawah to my counselor. I cannot quote a hadith or Quran verse because I havent studied well. everytime i try to give dawah i just screw up. shame on me :( I feel so bad. I want to be able to make Islam look superlative. I have a question here, a person who made many non Muslims into Muslims is a better Muslim, and is better in the sight of Allah even though he lacks other qualities of Islam? like i have seen some people who are so religiously overconfident, they think that they can get away with all other sins just because they have made many people Muslim.
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Marina-Aisha
02-05-2012, 12:43 AM
im sure someone who is strong muslim csn help you with this but i just wantedto say if u feel like u dont know much bout the quran or hadeth why not take a study class? pick ur quran and read a chapter a day. downlod app on ur phone or ipod thats wot i do..so dont be too down inthe dumps u can always improve these things..and why not try speak to iman bout ur worries(im sorry i dont know hw to spell it)hope that helps u alittle
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UmmuShaheed
02-05-2012, 01:18 AM
Asalamu Alaikum
Sister, dont spend time dwelling negatively on the past, push forward.
Most importantly work on yourself.
If you act the way a Muslim should, that may be enough to inspire someone to accept the religion.
Portray Islam in a positive way.
~If your not capable of giving dacwah to non-muslims right now,
Learn the deen, equip yourself with the knowledge you need to convey the message.
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Who Am I?
02-05-2012, 05:11 AM
:sl:

Sister, there is nothing wrong with seeing a Christian counsellor. I am seeing one myself to help me deal with my low self-esteem issues. Now he does not know that I am Muslim, but since I grew up in a Christian home, I still feel comforable enough in my knowledge of Christianity to be able to deal with it. Besides, there is still enough good advice in the Bible for it to be useful.

Let your life be your dawah. You don't have to preach. Just let people see that you do the right things and you say the right things. This is how I try to give dawah to my family. I can't mention anything about Islam or they become uncomfortable, but I can at least try to show them that Islam is making me a better person.
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Scimitar
02-05-2012, 06:07 AM
Originally Posted by luv4Allah
Another reason I feel so ashamed of myself is that I dont know how to give dawah because I dont have much knowledge. I have not been able to give dawah to my counselor. I cannot quote a hadith or Quran verse because I havent studied well. everytime i try to give dawah i just screw up.
The best way to give dawah, is to lead by example. Speak less, take more action. Smile more. Care more. Love more. And keep your salah on time, no matter where you are - even in the company of non Muslims. If its time for salah, you do your salah, and do it slowly, with meaning, blocking out the world and only facing Allah...

NO matter how much people don't wanna become a Muslim, the fact remains, when they see a Muslim make salaah, they are humbled and wonder what you have that they don't... and they do know you have something that they don't. It's called imaan.

Also, just answering questions about Islam is also dawah. There are many paths to giving dawah sister.

Scimi

EDIT: bro Who Am I basically said what i said. He's right on the mark.
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Dagless
02-05-2012, 07:55 AM
Good advice by people, but have you considered seeing a regular counselor or therapist, rather than a chaplain?
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sister herb
02-05-2012, 08:00 AM
Originally Posted by luv4Allah
I just realized something. I'm seeing a counselor who is a Christian chaplain. I've been telling him how low I feel about myself for not being able to achieve anything in life. My parents are upset on me because I have not lived up to their expectations. My family make me feel sorry for myself. shame on me, how ungrateful am I to Allah? He is giving me strength and support and Im doing things which I never imagined that I was capable of doing. He is helping me to achieve my goals. I may be a failure to my family, to dunya but I know I am a winner in the sight of Allah. and I worry about what people expects of me? what they think of me? Shame on me. I should only worry about what Allah think of me.

Another reason I feel so ashamed of myself is that I dont know how to give dawah because I dont have much knowledge. I have not been able to give dawah to my counselor. I cannot quote a hadith or Quran verse because I havent studied well. everytime i try to give dawah i just screw up. shame on me :( I feel so bad. I want to be able to make Islam look superlative. I have a question here, a person who made many non Muslims into Muslims is a better Muslim, and is better in the sight of Allah even though he lacks other qualities of Islam? like i have seen some people who are so religiously overconfident, they think that they can get away with all other sins just because they have made many people Muslim.
Salam alaykum

my little sister; we all canĀ“t be super muslims. As your family stop think you have to fill they hopes. You live your life and fill your hopes only.

I too have been lazy muslim, not studing Quran or hadiths. But I am I and at daily life show by behaviour how muslims lives.

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Good brother
02-05-2012, 11:39 AM
Assalam alaikum

Everyone is given a special talent, You may call to God by smiling, Good manner (revise thread about how it raise your rank in jannah ), Giving booklets, online links to islamic sites.

Visit dawahiseasy site !
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Riana17
02-05-2012, 12:47 PM
Asalam Alaikkum

Do not rush things, do not frown, inshallah one day if you are sincere enough you will confident to give dawah, but let us always remember that nomatter how good our dawah, no one will believe or revert to ISLAM unless Allah wills
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ILuvAllah
02-05-2012, 02:10 PM
Thank you brothers and sisters for the wonderful advices. Actually Im not confident enough, I mean when giving dawah I just dont know what to say, how to start etc. but I have given an English Quran to one of my Christian friend cause she wanted to read it. she is a very pious Christian and a very humble lady. I never seen anything annoying in her. she is more like me, shy, quiet, humble, kind and caring. I feel like if she gets some knowledge of Islam then she might be interested.

I'm trying to acquire the knowledge but when it comes to giving dawah, I just cant explain things properly, maybe because I lack confidence. but I really want to call people to Islam. InshAllah Allah will make it easy for me.
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ILuvAllah
02-05-2012, 02:14 PM
Originally Posted by Dagless
Good advice by people, but have you considered seeing a regular counselor or therapist, rather than a chaplain?
he is a professional counselor as well as a chaplain. yes im trying to get appointment for a regular therapist. but whats wrong with the chaplain? atleast he believes in God, a regular therapist might be an atheist and they usually are. they always give a scientific explanation for everything, no faith in God.
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Ramadan90
02-05-2012, 06:48 PM
ASA,


We are all human beings, we are not perfect. I would say that we all of us need to change our intention, realize that time is short and it goes fast and make the most out of our times. Embrace Islam and selfdevelopment fully, let it be a part of your values. Dont do things for the sake of you family, only for Allah and yourself. That is the most important.

I would say that if you embrace Islam and selfdevelopment(goals, both in Islam and in this world) you will become so much happier person.
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Scimitar
02-05-2012, 06:53 PM
Originally Posted by luv4Allah
Thank you brothers and sisters for the wonderful advices. Actually Im not confident enough, I mean when giving dawah I just dont know what to say, how to start etc. but I have given an English Quran to one of my Christian friend cause she wanted to read it. she is a very pious Christian and a very humble lady. I never seen anything annoying in her. she is more like me, shy, quiet, humble, kind and caring. I feel like if she gets some knowledge of Islam then she might be interested.

I'm trying to acquire the knowledge but when it comes to giving dawah, I just cant explain things properly, maybe because I lack confidence. but I really want to call people to Islam. InshAllah Allah will make it easy for me.
I suggest reading the seerah of the Prophet pbuh and the 3 volume set 'Hayatus Sahabah' as these are very beneficial into understanding the true Islam and the lessons in it, as well as gaining knowledge in a fun and educational way. Granted, some of the stories will bring tears to your eyes and others will lift your spirit - but I always say, if it doesn't move you, you haven't learnt properly... this is why I recommend the seerah of Nabi pbuh and the Hayatus Sahabah volumes. They WILL move you.

Take your time sister, no hurry...

By the way sister, I'm not sure if you've come across this site but you can download a very wide variety of Islamic books here in PDF for free ALHAMDULILLAH, book mark this site: http://www.kalamullah.com/

Scimi
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serena77
02-05-2012, 07:30 PM
salaams sis
I'm sorry but I sincerely do NOT believe its true that most common therapists are atheists. Yes they make back things up w/ science but that certainly doesn't make them atheists. Also, a lot of therapists may not USE religion in their therapy, but that doesn't make them atheists either, sometimes it simply means that a therapist doesn't feel their personal beliefs have any part in therapy.

I do hope you can feel better. I agree w/ everyone else that a lot of time, it may not so much be what we say about islam but how we present ourselves... especially the hijab ... not the clothing so much though that has its own importance and place, but the inner hijab that shows through.
Serena
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Scimitar
02-05-2012, 07:38 PM
I dsagree, you hijaab is your clothing, it protects your modesty, your "Aurah"... there is also modesty of character, and this can also be seen as a hijaab, but not in the physical sense...

Stop the compromises and read the rulings on hijaab, and leave personal interpretations aside!

Just follow the rules.

By the way, how many of you sport the "camel hump" ??

Scimi
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serena77
02-05-2012, 07:53 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
I dsagree, you hijaab is your clothing, it protects your modesty, your "Aurah"... there is also modesty of character, and this can also be seen as a hijaab, but not in the physical sense...
my point was the hijab on the inside.. will show a lot as far as projecting to others islamic behavior and that that is important as far as showing non muslims what islam is about. I did not say that dressing in hijab wasn't important.
Serena
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ILuvAllah
02-05-2012, 08:31 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
I suggest reading the seerah of the Prophet pbuh and the 3 volume set 'Hayatus Sahabah' as these are very beneficial into understanding the true Islam and the lessons in it, as well as gaining knowledge in a fun and educational way. Granted, some of the stories will bring tears to your eyes and others will lift your spirit - but I always say, if it doesn't move you, you haven't learnt properly... this is why I recommend the seerah of Nabi pbuh and the Hayatus Sahabah volumes. They WILL move you.

Take your time sister, no hurry...

By the way sister, I'm not sure if you've come across this site but you can download a very wide variety of Islamic books here in PDF for free ALHAMDULILLAH, book mark this site: http://www.kalamullah.com/

Scimi
Thank you akhi, I'm definitely going to read the books u mentioned. the website looks very helpful. I have bookmarked it :)

I have watched a cartoon movie on the biography of the Prophet (pbuh). SubhanAllah it has moved me so much that everytime i see it, i cant help my tears.
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ILuvAllah
02-05-2012, 08:35 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
I dsagree, you hijaab is your clothing, it protects your modesty, your "Aurah"... there is also modesty of character, and this can also be seen as a hijaab, but not in the physical sense...

Stop the compromises and read the rulings on hijaab, and leave personal interpretations aside!

Just follow the rules.

By the way, how many of you sport the "camel hump" ??

Scimi
I know what you mean. It is so sad to see majority of the sisters do the camel hump. I used to do it too at the beginning but once I heard a hadith about it I just stopped doing it and I also told my friend to avoid it.
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Marina-Aisha
02-05-2012, 08:37 PM
wots a camel hump?
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Who Am I?
02-05-2012, 09:02 PM
:sl:

Yeah, I don't know anything about the camel hump either.

Anyway, sister, believe in yourself. Pray to Allah that He will give you the confidence you need to face life. As somoene who still struggles with low self-esteem and lack of confience, I can sympathize with your current situation. The only thing I can tell you is pray.
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Ghazalah
02-05-2012, 09:11 PM
One of the main things you need to understand when seeing a counsellor, therapist or anything of the like, is that they are nothing but a means. You need to ask help from Allah swt, turn to Him and acknowledge that nothing will happen without His consent, if Allah swt answers your dua, then it can be answered through the help of a counsellor etc. If He doesn't answer your prayer then know He has something better planned for you inshAllah.

Never give up hope in Allah swt and never underestimate the power of dua.

I urge you to read the book "La Tahzan" (don't be sad) by Aidh Al-Qarni. Excellent book. I have PDF, let me know if you want it.
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