format_quote Originally Posted by
flowergarden
Asalaam Wa Alaikum,
:wa:
format_quote Originally Posted by
flowergarden
I just want to start off with a salaam to everyone since, I haven't been on here in a while. I hope everyone is doing well.
Well, I was wondering how do you all brothers and sisters forgive yourself from a sin?
Once we realise that the past has made us who we are today and that we cannot go back and change then we must accept what has happened and know that Allah forgives ALL sins. Allah has re-assured his slaves not to despair from the mercy of Allah. For Allah loves forgiveness and he loves nothing more than his slave turning to him in meekness begging of his mercy. Only the disbeievers despair of the mercy of Allah, therefore we should be hopeful of Allah's mercy but at the sametime be fearful. We should balance hope and fear.
format_quote Originally Posted by
flowergarden
Many of you all know my story and it just kills me to say that I still feel sad sometimes, more sad that I have done things that I should have and I wish I could go back to when I was "innocent" and just stay there... However, I look at my heart and I know I have a good one. I know that I still have innocence.
There is not one person on this Earth who does not regret something they have done and they would wish to go back and rectify it. But the reality of life is that we HAVE to make mistakes in order to learn from it. We learn from our failures NOT our successes. Therefore if we always succeeded then how can we ever learn? Allah has made life such that we make mistakes and we learn from it so we can do things better next time around. So accept your error and mistakes and realise that you are who you are today due to your past. The main thing is that you have changed and you are a much better person now due to your past.
format_quote Originally Posted by
flowergarden
I have become much more religious... I just feel like because of my mistakes I won't be married. I am almost 23 so marriage should be in my thoughts or engagment considering I am almost done with college too... well I have another 3 years for Law school but I just feel like even when I finish I won't find a good man with a heart like mine because of my mistakes.
You will never find a sinless man or a man who has never made mistakes, because there is NO such person living on the Earth today. Every one of us have made mistakes and continue to commit sins on a daily basis. So do not think in such a way because a good man will look at your character and piety and not your past mistakes because he will have his own. He will not be without his errors and past mistakes. He will not be perfect and most people know that their partners will also not be perfect, for perfection does not exist in humans. If we were all perfect then what would be the point of repentance? So ask of Allah and trust in him that he will give you a good and pious man. It is your enemy shaythan who puts these paranoid thoughts in your head. Go about marriage in the right manner and Allah will bless you with a good partner inshallah. So trust in Allah not in shaythans whispers.
The main thing we must do is to learn from our errors and try our best to avoid the major sins and repent as much as possible everyday for Allah loves those who ask of his mercy and forgiveness. He made us weak just so that we can keep asking for his mercy. Sometimes he waits years and even decades for his slave to ask him for forgiveness so that he can forgive ALL of his sins. Subhanallah what a kind, loving, generous and forgiving lord. His mercy over shadows his harshness, His forgiveness over shadows his wrath and anger. So ask of his mercy as much as possible, for we may tire of asking for forgiveness but he will NEVER tire of forgiving us for our sins.
format_quote Originally Posted by
flowergarden
How do I learn to forgive myself? How do I see that the manipulation of others evil mind is not my fault and whatever I have done and am repenting for will (InshAllah) be forgiven?
When you realise that you had to make mistakes in the past in order to learn from them so you can do better in the present. When you realise that you are the person you are today due to the mistakes you made from your past. When you realise that you cannot change what has happened or go back, but that shaythan is wanting you to live in regret so that you can waste this precious time, but realise that thinking in such a way is futile and the precious seconds that you are wasting now regretting the past is MUCH WORSE than any sin you could ever committ. Simply because it takes a few seconds to commit a sin and a few seconds for Allah to forgive us of that sin, but the time we waste regretting that sin we will NEVER be able to get back.
So do not waste a second more on your past, but concentrate on making the best of NOW for that is all that matters. Yesterday is gone and will NEVER comeback, so learn from it and take good things from it. Tomorrow is uncertain, so live for now and make the best of the few seconds you have left for it may end at ANY second!
format_quote Originally Posted by
flowergarden
Forgive me if I am annoying!
:wa:
May Allah enable you to now move on with your life so that you make do everything to please him and be the closest to him. Ameen