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anonymous
03-12-2012, 09:32 PM
Assalamoalaikum.
I'm a girl 22 yrs of age from Pakistan. I was forced into a marriage which I didn't want to do. I considered it void from the very first day and i signed the papers with the intention of taking divorce. But this is all what I think. I want to know the real status of this nikah that stands before Allah. Is it void or not? Because I read a Hadith about a marriage which a woman didn't want to do and Hazrath Muhammad P.B.U.H declared it void. Also I would like to mention that the nikah is valid in the eyes of the world but do I owe any responsibilities to the person I was tied to? I don't want to displease Allah and I want to follow the teachings of Allah and His nabi. So please help me. Also I want to know that should there be any legal procedure which I'll have to go through before I do nikah with someone else? Please help me.
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ardianto
03-13-2012, 08:29 AM
Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

You were forced to get married which you did not want to do. It's enough as a reason to request divorce. But only those who have authority who can decide to end your marriage with divorce, or decide your marriage is void.

First, your husband. If your husband refuse your request to get divorce, you can go to representative of Muslim government, in this case is sharia court. If sharia court refuse your request because your marriage is not recorded in government data, you can go to ulama and request a fatwa to void your marriage.

Of course, there's regulation before you can get married with someone else (after you got divorced) like idah period. But in this matter, I think it's better if other brother or sister who understand fiqh to gives you an answer.
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Endymion
03-13-2012, 10:49 AM
:sl: sister.

Will your family support you when you get divorce from that person?Whats their opinion.Have you ever discussed this matter to any of your family members the way you discuss it over here?
I mean,when they compel you to make this relationship,why then they support you to take divorce?Can you marry someone else without their support sis?
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aadil77
03-13-2012, 11:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
:sl: sister.

Will your family support you when you get divorce from that person?Whats their opinion.Have you ever discussed this matter to any of your family members the way you discuss it over here?
I mean,when they compel you to make this relationship,why then they support you to take divorce?Can you marry someone else without their support sis?
Does it matter? Unless you're suggesting she's stays in this forced relationship
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'Abd-al Latif
03-13-2012, 11:53 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Assalamoalaikum.
I'm a girl 22 yrs of age from Pakistan. I was forced into a marriage which I didn't want to do. I considered it void from the very first day and i signed the papers with the intention of taking divorce. But this is all what I think. I want to know the real status of this nikah that stands before Allah. Is it void or not? Because I read a Hadith about a marriage which a woman didn't want to do and Hazrath Muhammad P.B.U.H declared it void. Also I would like to mention that the nikah is valid in the eyes of the world but do I owe any responsibilities to the person I was tied to? I don't want to displease Allah and I want to follow the teachings of Allah and His nabi. So please help me. Also I want to know that should there be any legal procedure which I'll have to go through before I do nikah with someone else? Please help me.
:wasalamex:

1) Forced marriages in Islam are haram. The evidence from hadeeth is this:

'Aishah reported that a girl came to her and said, "My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” 'Aishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (:saws1:) comes. The Messenger of Allah (:saws1:) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (:saws1:) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, "O Messenger of Allah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).

This hadeeth basically proves that the woman marrying has to agree to marry a man willingly and that willingness to marry is a condition for the marriage to be valid. Forced marriages are not valid, just like forced divorces are not valid.

2) To marry with the intention of divorce, i.e. temporary marriage, to marry for a specific time period is also an invalid marriage. When one enters into a marriage contract he/she enters permanently unless there is a female instigated separation (khula) or a divorce by the male (talaaq).

3) If, and I said if, the marriage was done properly and correctly and it is Islamically legal and binding, then you must serve the other person according to the way the Islamic Law dictates.

4) I would advise you to settle this in the Islamic courts and not take it in your own hands. Yes, what the Messenger :saws1: has said holds more weight than any other practice or custom that one is expected to follow, but it is a better and a more wiser option to get other's involved before you marry someone properly. If you intend to remarry then you do not want your other marriage (that's if you have someone else in mind) to be affected by the current marriage which everyone thinks to be valid.
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Endymion
03-13-2012, 11:57 AM
No,not to suggest any thing like that but to understand the situation correctly as i belong to the same region.The situation here is a little different from other countries and i dont think the above suggestions are going to help her unless she has strong support of her Parents or any other person.
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'Abd-al Latif
03-13-2012, 12:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
No,not to suggest any thing like that but to understand the situation correctly as i belong to the same region.The situation here is a little different from other countries and i dont think the above suggestions are going to help her unless she has strong support of her Parents or any other person.
Not that I mean to sound rude here but if the marriage is Islamically invalid, is she meant to have a family with one whom isn't her husband?
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Endymion
03-13-2012, 12:12 PM
Did i said anything like that?Didn't i said i just wanted to know the situation correctly so that she can have a better advice she may apply to her situation living in Pakistan as i know the situation here a little better than you people.
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Snowflake
03-13-2012, 12:32 PM
Of course we must follow the correct Islamic procedures, but I agree with sis Endymion in that understanding the sister's situation would result in better advice being offered according to her situation. We must remember that in a place like Pakistan, people often take the law into their own hands and harm women who are brave enough to stand up for their rights.
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Scimitar
03-13-2012, 01:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
:sl: sister.

Will your family support you when you get divorce from that person?Whats their opinion.Have you ever discussed this matter to any of your family members the way you discuss it over here?
I mean,when they compel you to make this relationship,why then they support you to take divorce?Can you marry someone else without their support sis?
This ^ is a very important consideration.

I know a Muslimah with a child who got a divorce in the USA, and after that she lost all support from her parents. She was literally homeless for a while, and with child - stopping over at friends houses to stay the night until she could get herself back on her feet (which took a while).

Bearing in mind that the sister who started this thread is from Pakistan, and knowing Pakistani culture, a divorced woman brings shame on the family and is often disowned too. This is a very big problem in Muslim countries and society expects that women do not scream divorce.

Also consider this: Divorce is the least liked halal thing by Allah. HE despises it but thru HIS mercy, HE has ordained it as halal.

So, these are definitely two stumbling blocks the sister will be faced with.

The sister should also ask herself if her husband is fair to her, treats her well etc? And also ask herself, if the standards of marriage were ok for her parents, when her parents got married - then why are they not good enough for her? Also, ask herself what will become of her husband once the divorce is finalised? Will he be ok? Is it fair to him?

Scimi
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ardianto
03-13-2012, 02:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose
We must remember that in a place like Pakistan, people often take the law into their own hands and harm women who are brave enough to stand up for their rights.
Yes, this is the main problem in this case.

Honestly, my advice is based on situation and sharia system in Indonesia, where forced marriage is considered as oppression, and the male scholars are known as "the true brothers of Muslim females" who always support the wives to get their rights.
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TrueStranger
03-13-2012, 02:58 PM
I just can't understand why the majority of the community scholars/leaders are silent about this matter. The sister is with a man that is not her husband in the sight of Allah.
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 04:31 PM
jazak Allah for your answers. I'll start replying one by one.
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 04:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

You were forced to get married which you did not want to do. It's enough as a reason to request divorce. But only those who have authority who can decide to end your marriage with divorce, or decide your marriage is void.

First, your husband. If your husband refuse your request to get divorce, you can go to representative of Muslim government, in this case is sharia court. If sharia court refuse your request because your marriage is not recorded in government data, you can go to ulama and request a fatwa to void your marriage.

Of course, there's regulation before you can get married with someone else (after you got divorced) like idah period. But in this matter, I think it's better if other brother or sister who understand fiqh to gives you an answer.
Do you mean an ullama can declare the marriage void? I asked the other person, (i dont know whether I should call him my spouse or not) for divorce. He didnt agree to it. As in my case the data isn't recorded in government record. There will be no idah period as I'm residing with my parents. The rukhsati didnt take place.
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 04:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
:sl: sister.

Will your family support you when you get divorce from that person?Whats their opinion.Have you ever discussed this matter to any of your family members the way you discuss it over here?
I mean,when they compel you to make this relationship,why then they support you to take divorce?Can you marry someone else without their support sis?
Wa alaikum assalam warehmatullah. No they won't support me because ofcourse they won't want me to take divorce. But this all thing is very messed up. I can't marry without their support and I don't want to leave them. But what if they force me for moving with him to his home? I don't know what I'll do at that time. I have said my family members at times that I don't want to marry him and that this nikah is void but they consider my viewpoint nothing. I don't know what to do.*
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 04:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
:wasalamex:

1) Forced marriages in Islam are haram. The evidence from hadeeth is this:

'Aishah reported that a girl came to her and said, "My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” 'Aishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (:saws1:) comes. The Messenger of Allah (:saws1:) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (:saws1:) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, "O Messenger of Allah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).

This hadeeth basically proves that the woman marrying has to agree to marry a man willingly and that willingness to marry is a condition for the marriage to be valid. Forced marriages are not valid, just like forced divorces are not valid.

2) To marry with the intention of divorce, i.e. temporary marriage, to marry for a specific time period is also an invalid marriage. When one enters into a marriage contract he/she enters permanently unless there is a female instigated separation (khula) or a divorce by the male (talaaq).

3) If, and I said if, the marriage was done properly and correctly and it is Islamically legal and binding, then you must serve the other person according to the way the Islamic Law dictates.

4) I would advise you to settle this in the Islamic courts and not take it in your own hands. Yes, what the Messenger :saws1: has said holds more weight than any other practice or custom that one is expected to follow, but it is a better and a more wiser option to get other's involved before you marry someone properly. If you intend to remarry then you do not want your other marriage (that's if you have someone else in mind) to be affected by the current marriage which everyone thinks to be valid.
JazakAllah for your detailed reply brother. The nikah (not the marriage) was done properly, I mean there was a proper function and everything happened except for my will. Then is it still valid? I know I will have to go through legal procedures before I can remarry that's why I created this thread to get opinion and advise from different people and it will be of great help to me. The Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H showed us the path but we'll have to adopt it through legal way in today's world. Correct?
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Snowflake
03-13-2012, 05:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
JazakAllah for your detailed reply brother. The nikah (not the marriage) was done properly, I mean there was a proper function and everything happened except for my will. Then is it still valid? I know I will have to go through legal procedures before I can remarry that's why I created this thread to get opinion and advise from different people and it will be of great help to me. The Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H showed us the path but we'll have to adopt it through legal way in today's world. Correct?
The nikah is the marriage contract sister. That is all one needs to get married. The function is the celebration which doesn't make a marriage void if it doesn't take place. But in the case of a forced nikah (marriage) the marriage contract is void and can be nullified by an islamic judge. And if the marriage was not consumed, then there is no idah.

Islam gives you permission to remarry, and if your father/mahram refuses to act as wali, you are permitted to appoint a wali. This also has some rules. But you must take one thing at a time sis, and just deal with the problem at hand for now. I know it's a tough situation to be in when your family won't support you, but be patient sis and make lots of dua, especially after tahajjud. This is serious form of oppression. Allah's help will be with you. Don't do anything out of emotion and desperation and insha Allah everything will work out in your favour. I will remember you in my duas.
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 05:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
Not that I mean to sound rude here but if the marriage is Islamically invalid, is she meant to have a family with one whom isn't her husband?
This is what I'm most concerned about. Is is okay to talk to him according to Islamic laws? Its like we used to talk a little but now we don't. I talked to him because if I wouldn't talk to him in a good way my parents got angry at me and I didn't want their anger to build up on me. My parents are very nice and kind but they just did this thing by coercing me. We don't talk because I did something without his will involved and that THING wasnt a bad thing at all. But he got furious used bad wording for me, shouted at me alot and ordered me to not to communicate with him. I didn't and he didn't aswell.
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Snowflake
03-13-2012, 05:27 PM
:sl sis,

Have you spoke to your parents about this? I know you said they won't support you as they wouldn't want you to get divorced. But would they support you if they knew forced marriages are haram? Do you think you can approach your parents with the evidence below? If not, do you know an islamically knowledgeable person who can speak to your parents about the seriousness of the matter? Or do you have a practicing relative who can present these hadith to your family and make them see what a grave sin they are committing?





It is not permissible for the guardian, whether he is the father or anyone else, to marry off anyone under his care without her consent, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman has more right concerning herself than her guardian, and the permission of a virgin should be sought (regarding marriage), and her permission is her silence.” Narrated by Muslim, 1421.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman should be married off without being consulted, and no virgin should be married off without asking her permission.” They said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her permission?” He said: “If she remains silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4843; Muslim, 1419.


Similarly, it is not permissible for a guardian to be stubborn about the marriage of a female under his care, or to prevent her from marrying someone she wants to marry if he is compatible with her. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be fitnah (tribulation) in the land and much corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; classed as hasan by al-Albaani. See also question no. 32580.
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 05:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scimitar
Also consider this: Divorce is the least liked halal thing by Allah. HE despises it but thru HIS mercy, HE has ordained it as halal.

So, these are definitely two stumbling blocks the sister will be faced with.

The sister should also ask herself if her husband is fair to her, treats her well etc? And also ask herself, if the standards of marriage were ok for her parents, when her parents got married - then why are they not good enough for her? Also, ask herself what will become of her husband once the divorce is finalised? Will he be ok? Is it fair to him?
Both families don't talk because of some misunderstandings that took place. My mother says sometimes that I wont marry you but at other times she says she will. So its all very confusing. And that person whom I was married to I can't stand with him because he did things to lower my reputation infront of my family. I can't trust him even a tiny bit. I trusted him by telling him that I was forced into this marriage and he told everything to his parents and made my position so down.
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 05:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
Honestly, my advice is based on situation and sharia system in Indonesia, where forced marriage is considered as oppression, and the male scholars are known as "the true brothers of Muslim females" who always support the wives to get their rights.
The whole situation is very different in Pakistan. :s
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 05:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose
The nikah is the marriage contract sister. That is all one needs to get married. The function is the celebration which doesn't make a marriage void if it doesn't take place. But in the case of a forced nikah (marriage) the marriage contract is void and can be nullified by an islamic judge. And if the marriage was not consumed, then there is no idah.

Islam gives you permission to remarry, and if your father/mahram refuses to act as wali, you are permitted to appoint a wali. This also has some rules. But you must take one thing at a time sis, and just deal with the problem at hand for now. I know it's a tough situation to be in when your family won't support you, but be patient sis and make lots of dua, especially after tahajjud. This is serious form of oppression. Allah's help will be with you. Don't do anything out of emotion and desperation and insha Allah everything will work out in your favour. I will remember you in my duas.
Where can I find Islamic judge? Will I have to go to the court? How long will it take? Yes I will take one thing at a time. I don't want to be messed up by doing all things at once. Can you guide me a little about appointing wali? Jazak Allah Khair. Please remember me in your duas sister.
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anonymous
03-13-2012, 05:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose
:sl sis,

Have you spoke to your parents about this? I know you said they won't support you as they wouldn't want you to get divorced. But would they support you if they knew forced marriages are haram? Do you think you can approach your parents with the evidence below? If not, do you know an islamically knowledgeable person who can speak to your parents about the seriousness of the matter? Or do you have a practicing relative who can present these hadith to your family and make them see what a grave sin they are committing?





It is not permissible for the guardian, whether he is the father or anyone else, to marry off anyone under his care without her consent, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman has more right concerning herself than her guardian, and the permission of a virgin should be sought (regarding marriage), and her permission is her silence.” Narrated by Muslim, 1421.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman should be married off without being consulted, and no virgin should be married off without asking her permission.” They said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her permission?” He said: “If she remains silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4843; Muslim, 1419.


Similarly, it is not permissible for a guardian to be stubborn about the marriage of a female under his care, or to prevent her from marrying someone she wants to marry if he is compatible with her. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be fitnah (tribulation) in the land and much corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; classed as hasan by al-Albaani. See also question no. 32580.
I have shown all the hadiths regarding force marriage to my family and close relatives but it was of no use. They said the nikah has already been done. And Alas! There is no elderly person in my family who could guide me... :(
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'Abd-al Latif
03-13-2012, 05:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
Did i said anything like that?Didn't i said i just wanted to know the situation correctly so that she can have a better advice she may apply to her situation living in Pakistan as i know the situation here a little better than you people.
As I said I wasn't intending to be rude.
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'Abd-al Latif
03-13-2012, 06:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
JazakAllah for your detailed reply brother. The nikah (not the marriage) was done properly, I mean there was a proper function and everything happened except for my will. Then is it still valid? I know I will have to go through legal procedures before I can remarry that's why I created this thread to get opinion and advise from different people and it will be of great help to me. The Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H showed us the path but we'll have to adopt it through legal way in today's world. Correct?
The mehendi, the walima, the nikah and all other celebrations can be perfect but if one agreed to marry only because of force then the marriage contract is invalid.
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'Abd-al Latif
03-13-2012, 06:12 PM
I don't know if this is going to help but here is a video by Zakir Naik. It's in urdu and it kind of answers the question you are looking for.

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Endymion
03-13-2012, 06:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
As I said I wasn't intending to be rude.
:sl: Abd al Latif.

Im sorry i made you said that twice.It doesn't sound rude to me at all as i told you the situation in Pakistan and in other countries is entirely different and you cant understand it unless you live here so,your question was obvious :)
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Salahudeen
03-13-2012, 08:30 PM
Well the thing is, I'm assuming the sister is dependent upon her family 100% to take care of her and help meet her needs, if she does divorce and refuse to do as they say, they could punish her through other means such as denying her food or other emotional torture or locking her up in a room, so it's hard situation to be in, the only thing I can think off is, does there exist any support organisation in Pakistan for women in this situation who can step in and look after the woman if her family throws her out on the street?
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Snowflake
03-13-2012, 10:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Where can I find Islamic judge? Will I have to go to the court? How long will it take? Yes I will take one thing at a time. I don't want to be messed up by doing all things at once. Can you guide me a little about appointing wali? Jazak Allah Khair. Please remember me in your duas sister.
I will have to find out all this for you sis. I'm in the UK, so it's a case of contacting people in Pakistan. Have you asked your husband for a divorce? Did you know you can offer him payment in return for divorce? This payment could be the mahr, or something else? It's worth a try sis. I know in the Pakistani culture the mahr is paid upon divorce. Some men refuse to divorce women to avoid the payment. If the mahr is a large amount and you weren't given it at the time of the nikah, you could offer to forego the mahr in return for divorce. You will be spared a lot of time and hardship if he divorces you without you going to court.

Be patient regarding appointing a wali sis. Insha Allah sort the divorce out first. Also do not consider other proposals (if any) until you are divorced.


format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
I have shown all the hadiths regarding force marriage to my family and close relatives but it was of no use. They said the nikah has already been done. And Alas! There is no elderly person in my family who could guide me... :(
Subhan Allah. May Allah help you and grant hidayah to the muslimeen. Ameen. Insha Allah we'll try our best to guide you by the Laws of Allah sis.
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tigerkhan
03-14-2012, 05:24 AM
:sl:
which part of pakistan r u from?
i know the sensitivity of matter, so i request all members to be very careful while saying any words of advice.
sister honestly i told u, u had made mistake by signing the nikahnama if u were not willing that time. most probabaly its bcz u love (maybe fear too) ur parent and just to safe urself from their agression, u did this mistake (its just as i understand the matter).
the best u can do is to use "delay" tactics. i mean u must delay rukhsatai. take time to think well of matter. discuss with ur parents and if u have some geniune reason to not marry that person, try to convience them
have ur rukhsati decided?
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Snowflake
03-14-2012, 08:58 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by tigerkhan
and if u have some geniune reason to not marry that person, try to convience them
Rukhsati isn't marriage brother, the nikah is. And that's already done.
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aadil77
03-14-2012, 09:21 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
I don't know about the deobandi or brewli thing. Its an oppression that continues in 21st century and no one is doing anything to stop it.
look sis in pakistan only deobandi scholars will support your cause - they have the correct understanding of islam, the cultural brelwi mullahs will only tell you to obey your parents

as far as I know the biggest mufti's in pakistan are deobandi, take your matters to them and they will solve them using islamic law

i'll try and see if I can get you some contact details
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tigerkhan
03-14-2012, 10:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dying Rose
Rukhsati isn't marriage brother, the nikah is. And that's already done.
but after ruksati if she got divorce that will be diffrent from if without rukhsati. i think in the latter case her husband is also not obliged to pay mahar.
oh now i got, actually in pakistani culture shadi mean rukhsati, although in islam nikah mean shadi.
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Endymion
03-14-2012, 01:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by aadil77
look sis in pakistan only deobandi scholars will support your cause - they have the correct understanding of islam, the cultural brelwi mullahs will only tell you to obey your parents
:sl: Aadil.

You cant say they will "support" her cause.They will just guide her and she has to fight her war herself.May be they call to her Parents and try to convince them but what if her parents belongs to some other sect?


as far as I know the biggest mufti's in pakistan are deobandi, take your matters to them and they will solve them using islamic law

i'll try and see if I can get you some contact details


Yup,the grand Mufti of Pakistan belongs to "Deoband".He is Respectable Mufti Muhammad Rafi Usmani son of respectable Mufti Muhammad Shafi Usmani.They runs a Madarsa is Karachi named "Darul Uloom Karachi".You can contact here and have the advice of respected Mufti's.For contact information,see this page.

http://www.darululoomkarachi.edu.pk/...d=56&Itemid=28
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Endymion
03-14-2012, 01:47 PM
:sl: sister.

Its good to know that situation isn't that worse Alhamdulillah.You are in your parents house and there are several things you can do to help your self.

If contacting with a islamic judge is doable for you,then go for it but i think it will be very difficult for you and also,it will be like a war against your family and you'll have to stand alone.

It will be better for you to find your support in your house.As you said your mother sometimes agree upon not marrying you to that guy,then take start from your mother.Mothers can understand our point easy.Tell her in a very polite and humble way why you dont want to marry that person.keep giving her reasons and i hope she will stand with you Inshallah.Find support from your siblings.Try the one who is more close to you and open minded as well.If they start supporting you,im sure they will convince your Father Inshallah.

I advice you to try all these options before contacting an Aalim and even if you contact an Aalim,dont let your family members know about it.

And the most important thing is to trust Allah SWT.No matter if there is none standing besides you,nothing can harm you if Allah SWT wants to benifit you.Keep your connection strong and ask Him Almighty for His help.Keep on asking him to turn people's heart in your favour.Inshallah something good will happen.
Recite Duaa-e-Hajaat daily almost 2-3 times.
Recite this doaa daily and it will help you in a really amazing way Inshallah.

Allahumma inni 'abduka, ibnu 'abdika, ibnu amatika, naasiyati biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukumuka, 'adhlun fiyya qadha'uka asaluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka, sammaita bihi nafsaka, aw an-zaltahu fi kitabika, aw 'allamtahu ahadan min khalqika, awista'tharta bihi fi 'ilmil-ghaibi 'indaka, an taj'alal-Qur'ana Rabbi'a qalbi, wa nura sadri, wa jalaa'a huzni, wa dhahaba hammi wa Ghammi.

Oh Allah, I am Your servant, the son of Your servant, the son of your maid-servant, and entirely at Your service. You hold me by my forelock. Your Decree is what controls me, and Your Commands to me are just. I beseech You by every one of Your Names, those which You use to refer to Yourself, or have revealed in Your Book, or have taught to any one of Your creation, or have chosen to keep hidden with You in the Unseen, to make the Qur'an Al-Karim the springtime of my heart, the light of my eyes, the departure of my grief, and the vanishing of my affliction and my sorrow.
[Ahmad 1:391]

The Messanger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) said: "There is nobody who is afflicted with distress or grief and who says (the doaa above) Allah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with ease." He was asked,: O Messanger of Allah, should we not learn it?" He said, "Of course, whoever hears it should learn it."

I ask Allah SWT to turn everything in your favor,help you,guide you and bless you with hapiness, peace and satisfation of heart and mind.Ameen.
Reply

anonymous
03-16-2012, 11:24 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
I don't know if this is going to help but here is a video by Zakir Naik. It's in urdu and it kind of answers the question you are looking for.

Thanks It helped but I'm looking for what can I do to end this forceful relation I'm in.
Reply

anonymous
03-16-2012, 11:36 AM
I can't thank all of you enough for your concern. :) I sorted out three things here. First that I contact ullama to declare nikah void. Second to go to Islamic court. Thirdly to ask the spouse for divorce. I think the first one can help me the best cos it will take less time. I don't know the exact procedure but it will remain between me and the ullama right? I mean it will not be as open as it will b in court cos I don't want to stand against my family. And I've tried alot that my spouse gives me divorce. I triedto convince him in many ways but he didn't. It's not about the mahr. I said him already I don't want mahr but it was of no use. I keep trying to convinnce my family time to time but uptil now it's been of no or little use. So I just have left everything on Allah Almighty but as they say Allah helps those who help themselves. So I want to help myself so that Allah can help me too. JazakAllah khair.
Reply

Endymion
03-16-2012, 11:39 AM
May He SWT protect you and help you with the sources He helped his Prophets and his noble people.Ameen.
Reply

anonymous
03-16-2012, 11:45 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
:sl: sister.

Its good to know that situation isn't that worse Alhamdulillah.You are in your parents house and there are several things you can do to help your self.

If contacting with a islamic judge is doable for you,then go for it but i think it will be very difficult for you and also,it will be like a war against your family and you'll have to stand alone.

It will be better for you to find your support in your house.As you said your mother sometimes agree upon not marrying you to that guy,then take start from your mother.Mothers can understand our point easy.Tell her in a very polite and humble way why you dont want to marry that person.keep giving her reasons and i hope she will stand with you Inshallah.Find support from your siblings.Try the one who is more close to you and open minded as well.If they start supporting you,im sure they will convince your Father Inshallah.

I advice you to try all these options before contacting an Aalim and even if you contact an Aalim,dont let your family members know about it.

And the most important thing is to trust Allah SWT.No matter if there is none standing besides you,nothing can harm you if Allah SWT wants to benifit you.Keep your connection strong and ask Him Almighty for His help.Keep on asking him to turn people's heart in your favour.Inshallah something good will happen.
Recite Duaa-e-Hajaat daily almost 2-3 times.
Recite this doaa daily and it will help you in a really amazing way Inshallah.

Allahumma inni 'abduka, ibnu 'abdika, ibnu amatika, naasiyati biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukumuka, 'adhlun fiyya qadha'uka asaluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka, sammaita bihi nafsaka, aw an-zaltahu fi kitabika, aw 'allamtahu ahadan min khalqika, awista'tharta bihi fi 'ilmil-ghaibi 'indaka, an taj'alal-Qur'ana Rabbi'a qalbi, wa nura sadri, wa jalaa'a huzni, wa dhahaba hammi wa Ghammi.

Oh Allah, I am Your servant, the son of Your servant, the son of your maid-servant, and entirely at Your service. You hold me by my forelock. Your Decree is what controls me, and Your Commands to me are just. I beseech You by every one of Your Names, those which You use to refer to Yourself, or have revealed in Your Book, or have taught to any one of Your creation, or have chosen to keep hidden with You in the Unseen, to make the Qur'an Al-Karim the springtime of my heart, the light of my eyes, the departure of my grief, and the vanishing of my affliction and my sorrow.
[Ahmad 1:391]

The Messanger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) said: "There is nobody who is afflicted with distress or grief and who says (the doaa above) Allah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with ease." He was asked,: O Messanger of Allah, should we not learn it?" He said, "Of course, whoever hears it should learn it."

I ask Allah SWT to turn everything in your favor,help you,guide you and bless you with hapiness, peace and satisfation of heart and mind.Ameen.
JazakAllah sister for your great help. I'll in sha Allah recite this beautiful dua daily. Amen remember me in your prayers.
Reply

'Abd-al Latif
03-16-2012, 11:47 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
I can't thank all of you enough for your concern. :) I sorted out three things here. First that I contact ullama to declare nikah void. Second to go to Islamic court. Thirdly to ask the spouse for divorce. I think the first one can help me the best cos it will take less time. I don't know the exact procedure but it will remain between me and the ullama right? I mean it will not be as open as it will b in court cos I don't want to stand against my family. And I've tried alot that my spouse gives me divorce. I triedto convince him in many ways but he didn't. It's not about the mahr. I said him already I don't want mahr but it was of no use. I keep trying to convinnce my family time to time but uptil now it's been of no or little use. So I just have left everything on Allah Almighty but as they say Allah helps those who help themselves. So I want to help myself so that Allah can help me too. JazakAllah khair.
Speak to them that you want this to remain between you and them. Just tell them what you're telling us and inshaa'Allah they will understand.
Reply

anonymous
03-16-2012, 11:47 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
May He SWT protect you and help you with the sources He helped his Prophets and his noble people.Ameen.
Amen.
JazakAllah khair.
Reply

anonymous
03-16-2012, 11:48 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
Speak to them that you want this to remain between you and them. Just tell them what you're telling us and inshaa'Allah they will understand.
How can I contact the ullama brother?
Reply

tigerkhan
03-17-2012, 02:21 PM
:sl:
well none of ulama will support u in pakistan. the only thing u can get from them is fatwa for ur nikkah.
it would be better if u may think well b4 goin for any step. from ur words, it seems u r not aware much of problems u have to face in case of goin to court for divorce. ur parents never feel comfortable with it and maybe they never forgive u for this. ur spouse (and maybe his family too) will also be upset with ur descion and they will feel guilty by ur this action. simply u have to fight all world and none will be with u. if wish this will would not be scenerio but u have to be ready for both best and worse.
anyway my best wishes prayers r with u. Allah SWT keep u in his aman and 4ever blessing.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
03-19-2012, 02:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
How can I contact the ullama brother?
:sl:

Contact Darul Uloom Karachi. It is the greatest centre of learning in Pakistan where the eminant scholar Mufti Taqi Uthmani teaches. Hopefully they will advise you as to the best way forward and put you in touch with scholars who may help you in your situation insdhallah:

http://www.darululoomkarachi.edu.pk/ucms/index.php
Reply

ژاله
03-25-2012, 03:53 PM
Salam sis!
May Allah ease your affairs, Ameen.
In addition to the wonderful advice people have given you above, also please try to ask your relatives like grandparents, uncles, aunts etc to help you. They could convince your parents if you succeed in convincing them.
Regards,
Reply

Snowflake
03-27-2012, 11:52 AM
Assalamu alaykum,

Any updates sis? : )
Reply

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