Please help me I am worried that Shaytan is trying to make me commit shirk

[tearose]

Salamu 3laikum,

Thank you for reading this, I’m sorry if I didn’t follow the proper etiquette for introducing myself. I have a serious problem which is a bit urgent.

I was brought up in a culture in which associating humanbeings and human attributes with God is very common. I myself did not believe in that, and always believed in one God, but I did not have any knowledge of Islam or any positive knowledge about Allah, so my belief was quite vague.

Eight years ago, I started to learn about Islam and wanted to convert, but Shaytan started filling my head with strange ideas and temptations, to the point where I felt like I was going mad, so I decided not to convert, and just stick with the vague beliefs and try to be a good person.
One year ago, I converted to Islam, and during this whole year I have been very happy, and my faith and knowledge increased. However, the past two weeks, I feel like Shaytan is trying to lead me towards associating human beings with Allah.
When I am in the company of certain people, I hear a voice in my head which tells me to recognise those people as divine, either physically, or that they have a human body but are otherwise divine in essence, or that Allah is present in some indirect way in those people. I don’t want to believe that, so I try to argue with that voice and re-affirm my belief in Allah, as the Creator who is totally separate from creation and who can’t be perceived in this world.
When I am alone, and I want to pray, or say du3a, or even say ‘al7amdulilah’ or think about Allah, the voice tells me to offer my prayers or my du3a or even my thoughts to human beings, sometimes instead of Allah,sometimes claiming that they are Allah, or sometimes claiming that Allah will be happy if I use them as intercessors. When I reject all that, the voice tells me to at least recognise the possibility that Allah is present in those people.When I say that I do not want to recognise that possibility, the voice tries tomake me feel guilty and afraid and sometimes it works.
I have tried everything to deal with this problem – praying more,reading the Qur’an more, making lots of du3a, reading more about Islamic beliefs, but I feel that my iman is weaker because of this problem and I am afraid of losing it altogether like the first time I tried to convert. When I pray I do not feel close to Allah and I am very confused because there is a voice in my head telling me that my understanding of my relationship with him is not correct, and that my insistence on pure monotheism is not the right way. Yet I feel convinced that it is, and I will never agree to offer worship to anyone who appears to be human. This confusion means I find it hard to feel like I am in contact with Allah. And I genuinely don’t know how to make that voice go away, and even when I pray I have to keep stopping and re-affirming my faith in order to continue praying, so that I don’t accidentally pray to someone other than Allah.
At the beginning I still felt close to Allah and prayed with a lot of emotion. Now, I feel I am losing everything and I know that if I lose my faith I will lose everything and I will not be able to live with that. I have been so depressed and desperate these past two weeks. Now I no longer feel like praying. Yesterday I did not pray the Maghrib prayer in time and this morning I did not get out of bed in time to pray fajr. This is not like me. I keep reading the Qur’an to try to reassure myself that my understanding of monotheism is correct, but somehow even when I read the verses about not associating anything with Allah I don’t manage to feel completely reassured. I don’t understand Arabic perfectly, and translations give different versions, so I haven’t come across one verse that enables me to answer this voice in my head convincingly on every point.
I have lots of Muslim friends who want to help me but don’t know how. They have been Muslims all their lives and don’t really understand where I’m coming from. I go to two different classes to learn Arabic, the Qur’an and Islam each week, but I feel ashamed to tell my teachers about this problem and they don’t have a lot of time since there are other people in the class. That’s why I would like to ask for help here, if anyone can give me any advice I would be very grateful.

I really have 4 questions:

1. Do you, as Muslims, agree with my interpretation of monotheism? Is it correct to say that we cannot perceive Allah in this world and that he does not enter into his creation in essence? This is what I understand by the idea in the hadith of Jibril that Allah sees us but we don’t see him and by the implication of Moses’ attempt to see Allah.
2. Am I correct to reject the ‘possibility’ that the essence, or presence, of Allah can be present in the world and in human beings?Is it correct to say that every person I see is part of Allah’s creation and cannot be a means of communication with Allah?
3. How should I deal with this voice in my head(which I assume is Shaytan)? What techniques can I use to fight it and overcome this confusion? Is it really possible for Shaytan to make me feel guilty and afraid?
4. Given my situation, how can I improve my iman?

If you can give me any advice on any of these points please help me as my life has become a torment and I do not see a way out, everything I try seems to make it worse.
Thank you

[tearose]

Salamu 3laikum,
I realise my post is a little long, I'm sorry about that, but I really hope that someone will give me some advice insha allah, even if it's not on any of the points I mentioned, any input would really be appreciated.

Thank you

[Alpha Dude]

Assalamu Alaykum bro,

I saw your thread a few days ago and wanted to write but didn't quite know the full and appropriate answers but since nobody else has replied yet I'll give my thoughts.

1. I agree.
2. I agree.
3. It is possible for shaytan to make you feel guilty & afraid. He is our enemy and has been alive for thousands of years. Given this length of time, he's going to have quite a few tricks up his sleeve. However, Allah has said the plot of shaytan is weak. Although he is crafty, we can stand up to his onslaught by seeking refuge in Allah. Secondly, the closer we become to Allah and the stronger the connection we have with him, the less able shaytan is to attack us.
4. My personal suggestion is that you try:to: i. remain in a state of wudhu as often as possible; ii. sit alone at night and make plenty of sincere dua asking Allah to guide you from the bottom of your heart whilst having conviction that Allah will listen and guide you (better to do it after praying 2 rakah non-obligatory prayers - to make the dua more potent); iii. try to be conscious of Allah throughout your day; iv. seek refuge in Allah from the shaytan whenever you feel confusing thoughts of the nature you've described;

[MustafaMc]

1. Do you, as Muslims, agree with my interpretation of monotheism? Is it correct to say that we cannot perceive Allah in this world and that he does not enter into his creation in essence? This is what I understand by the idea in the hadith of Jibril that Allah sees us but we don’t see him and by the implication of Moses’ attempt to see Allah.

My understanding is that we humans cannot perceive Allah (swt). Perhaps this thread will help you.
http://www.islamicboard.com/aqeedah/...ml#post1492565

2. Am I correct to reject the ‘possibility’ that the essence, or presence, of Allah can be present in the world and in human beings?Is it correct to say that every person I see is part of Allah’s creation and cannot be a means of communication with Allah?

Yes, this is correct that Allah (swt) does not dwell inside a human body. We are able to communicate directly with Allah and need no intermediary. To do so, one would be commiting shirk in the same manner Chrisitans do when they pray to dead saints and Mary as a means of approach to God.

3. How should I deal with this voice in my head(which I assume is Shaytan)? What techniques can I use to fight it and overcome this confusion? Is it really possible for Shaytan to make me feel guilty and afraid?

Say, "Iudhoo bilahi mina shaytan ir-rajeem" (I seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan, the accursed), "la illaha il'Allah', and recite Surahs Al-Falaq and An-Nas when these thoughts come to your mind.

4. Given my situation, how can I improve my iman?

Keep praying and reading the Quran, even when you don't feel like it. Offer sunnah salah and fasting. Go to the masjid often and associate with other Muslims.