is it me or education?

[anonymous]

Salaam

As you know i have been experiencing no motivation to study or doing assignments. I have no idea why it always happen to me and literally it is pissing me off. I mean, I have to achieve my uni degree and in some cases i have been loosing motivation to sum it all up. In the first year, i have motivation to do well and instead it was crap. I failed some of the modules and passed some for the first year. The part i failed and it is because i lost motivation. During the second year which is this year at the moment... i wanted to learn my mistakes from first year and there are some exams that i have to retake but i did not turn up. My academic director moved my retake 1st yr exams for the third year. On the first semester on my 2nd year, it was the same thing again, which i failed 2 modules and 1 pass. I wonder what is happening to me and its not like i intend to lose motivation and its more like losing motivation automatically. Right now i am on the 2nd semester, it happened again and i have not checked my results so i am due to take exams next week. And when i could possibly fail the 2nd year, i am more literally screwed because all of those failed modules has to be retaken in the third year to conclude my final year mark.

My father has paid me a lot of money for me to study and he has his own business alhamduillah. I feel i am selfish and guilty of my father about spending a lot of money for my education and sometimes i see myself as a failure for losing motivation. I asked my father about taking over his business without a degree and he said no. I am like, you started it without education and dropped out of school because u did it with experience and talent. I think he dosent want me to walk on his way as before. He wants something new. He disagreed with me and he said I have to get a degree then you can take over. it is the same thing to my younger brothers and sister. I felt ashamed because i am the eldest and my younger siblings have advanced further than me. I am also deaf and i am supposed to represent for the disablity that can prove to hearing people that they can do it the same as them. I do not intend to show off because (May Allah forgive for what i say) that my siblings are more of a westernied way which i would say they are not islamically educated. I gave dawah but i do not know what their hearts say. Allah alim.

I rather say my younger siblings are more motivated than me and i am rather different from them. I do not want to act like a viticm of some dilemma with my family and education because i have to stand up yet it can be tolerated in such way my family think by nulling my talk like "you dont have discipline" what not. It seem that my voice is not raised instead my siblings voice is raised and i rather keep silent. My islamic education is much more motivated and more learning than a degree education because i find it more interesting and i can remember what it actually says wherelse a degree education makes me forget. I was supposed to keep it balanced and islamic education has taken over. Whenever i do such as football, table tennis and many general things, i pushed hard and felt very limited and people are even better than me. It seems that Allah has probably put a limit on my talents. I do not know why. I may have other talents somewhere yet not used and my parents is stopping me with education barrier. I like doing things physically such as talking like polictics, working on my own way, instead of doing for somebody such as taking exams for a teacher to mark. if you know what i mean?

My point is, why i am unmotivated to do my degree and motivated to do other things? I am always being like this and still the same. I really want to achieve my degree inshAllah and it is not just "inshAllah" because i have to do my actions too! Some people has been supportive yet i ignored their requests because i am always like this. What is going on in my brain?? Has this path destined for me?


JazakAllah Khair brothers and sisters.

[anonymous]

[A reply from anonymous account]

Salams, I cannot comment on the rest of the question, but the part about the Uni degree, which sounds very true. Uni degrees do have that tendency to wear you out and make you want to actually give it all up in one go, but have faith in Allah swt, keep your religious studies side by side, and pray to Allah swt to let you complete it without much effort and in good time. And if its a really long degree like accounting etc there are so many people who drop out and become such good professionals, reading so many complicated worldly dry books can wreck our minds deeply and restrict our rational thinking abilities ( since the course is about the system of dajjal mostly sans any religious studies, by which i mean that we are given curriculum in our unis which serves only one purpose. i.e to enslave us to to this system forever in a very depending sort of a way so that even if we want to, we may not be able to get out of it )

So, not that Im advising you to drop it all, but if you really do think that you have a chance ahead without studying more, you can tell your father to let you work in his business for a yr since at this point you're feeling quite stagnant and you dont feel that your mind is fresh enough to carry on studying, tell him politely that you need a break and dont want to waste your time in pursuing studies when you know well that you wont be able to do them justice, and that you intend to continue them later?( if you do) If he allows, you can start working and keep the studies along side or for later perhaps..Maybe fate takes a step in your stride and you might not even have to study more, who knows, but pray to Allah swt for the best option to open for you.

[anonymous]

salaam, that is a great answer. it is true and i agree very much about the education system in UK which is based on worldy things and to enslave us further instead of remembering our religion.

Yes i heard about drop out people which have turned into winners because they used their talent and skills on their own. I have talked to my father on the other day and he refused because he wanted me to have a degree first. He is very inclined on having a good education for me and my siblings also my mother agrees with my father.. We had an arguement about experience like what is the difference between experience in uni and experience in working? he does not understand. What has shocked me as he said i will be ashamed and will have nothing when i do not have a degree like people will shame me. Even though i have qualifications to apply for degree. Allah alim about his intention. So, i am pretty much stuck with the education barrier...

[anonymous]

no respond? i am pretty much stuck here. help me out of this. :( inshAllah.