Repentance and faith

[yasmeen88]

Assalamua'laikum,

Dear brother and sisters, I am sinful and I know I've committed a big sin before. My faith is not constant and it is going up and down, and I feel unease. I've really pray and repent from doing it. Is there any way to make me feel at ease? And I would like to know if you have any dua' to share with me in finding spouse?

Jazakallah & Thanks.

[Alpha Dude]

I often come across people who lose hope due to their previous sins. Some people have this idea that they could have been perfect had they not sinned earlier in their lives and now just because they made some big mistakes, they degrade their self-worth to such an extent they think 'hey, I'm already bad and I've already made big mistakes, I might as well go all the way and do all sorts of other sins'.

The truth is, even if we've done the worst sins there is no reason to lose hope. We can still become close to Allah and that too, overnight. We just need to draw a line over our mistakes and make sincere dua for forgiveness and guidance and strive to discontinue from sinning - that's not to say we will automatically become so strong that we won't sin again - we are sinful by nature, but we can strive to not let our sins drag us down. Each time we slip up, we should make an effort to rectify the wrong by asking for forgiveness which in itself is a good deed so in essence we'd be following up a bad deed by a good one. In fact, each time we feel regret over our sins, we'd be earning the pleasure (and inshaAllah reward, too) of Allah.

Don't lose hope of being good and remember, 'perfection' is just an illusion. We can never be perfect. Life is a journey and our experiences make us who we are. We shouldn't look back and think 'if only we had done this’ or ‘if only we had done that' but rather use our past experiences and learn from them, use them to try to better ourselves. With the blessing of hindsight, we know how we went wrong in the past and are in a better position to not let it happen again in future (even use it to benefit other younger people). The past is spilt milk. It's done and dusted but the present and future are still there for us to gain goodness from so don't let the past affect our future - that is a cunning trap of the shaytan.

Allah is All Merciful and his mercy is vast and he can forgive any and every sin if we repent. Don't let other people say anything that affects this for you. Don't let what you think other people might think of you for your sins affect this either. Their opinions are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. We will face Allah alone on the day of judgment and wouldn't care less of anything anyone else thinks so don't bother with it now either.

Build a strong relationship with Allah such that you become content with him and desire nothing but his pleasure and happiness and live your life based on that one goal, such that even if everything were to be taken away from you - your health, wealth, family, loved ones, you’d still remain content and such that even if the entire world were to be handed to you, you’d not find it of any real worth in comparison to the relationship with Allah that you enjoy.

The best way to build a relationship, in my opinion, is to make dua each night where you simply pour your heart out and talk to him. Ask for forgiveness and guidance and contentment and for him to look favourably at you and elevate your status and grant you a consciousness of him. Even better would be after two rakah non-obligatory salah.

Remember, there is always hope. Our lives are cyclical in nature. We’re either in a state of sin or in a state of goodness. We need our net balance of good to be greater than our balance of bad as that’s what matters most in the end. We can use our sins in our favour by repenting, as each time we think back to them and repent, we earn the favour of Allah. So, Alhamdulilah!