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fathima sultana
04-25-2012, 12:56 PM
Plz help me brothers and sisters.. i am in such a state of anger and hatred. That i even decided to curse her in Namaz.. <br>i got married 6 months back. My MOTHER IN LAW was good with me i loved her and she loved me back. But right after few weeks of our marriage i had a feeling in my guts that something is not right and that was she is good in manipulating people, and lies sometimes too, she is very dominating ect. There are few things i don't like about her, for instance when we chat she always talks about others which involves back biting I try to change the topic, but she manages to stay on the same topic. She thinks everyone are jealous of her, she even praises herself (like 'am the best mother, u r lucky to get married in our house, no one get a mother in law like me). even when i talk about Islam she brings about the worldly affairs and again back biting. I didnt tell her openly to stop back biting i dont want to offend her so i mention few hadiths to her, but no use. She wants to keep me under her control she cant hear NO from me and when i correct her sometimes she gets offended and gives silly reasons to support her point of view. I dont want to mention about her to my husband and creat any ill feelings between mother and son. The only thing that keeps me going is patience and the reward from ALLAH. But sometimes its just so irritating if it happens everyday. she wants us to not to lock our bedroom door and she even came inside few times in the middle of the night and sometimes just takes a peep to see if we have slept. i know its his kid she is worried about but he is no longer a kid. And sometimes she sleeps outside of our bedroom on sofa, when me and my husband have any conversation she asks me next day what we spoke.. I am ready to ignore everything what makes me more angry is she orders me around and i dont have my freedom (even my emotional and mental freedom what i say is always wrong according to her) even to eat something in the house , she does says eat what ever u want. but when something is less she asks why is the milk less, did u drink?. who ate the cereals? my son wouldnt eat that much. when did u eat the bread before eating the snacks or after it?.. yes she asks me all these kind of silly questions. she always has her eyes on me what i do where i go and i also over heard her saying to my husband to keep me under control. Well am happy he is not that kind of person though. I dont know how to handle this any more my patience is breaking i even back answered her twice. am going under depression. I mentioned it to my husband he said i know my mom is irritating u have to adjust with her. From that time onwards i decided not to talk about his mother to him coz he loves and respects her a lot, and i dont want to go separate as well. Separating mother from son. She does have a second son he is not married yet. PLZ TEL ME THE RIGHT AND ISLAMIC WAY TO HANDLE THIS.
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aadil77
04-25-2012, 01:37 PM
:wa:

Islamically you have a right to seperate accomodation, these are common problems which occur and scholars advise to live seperately from in laws
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Muslim Woman
04-25-2012, 05:49 PM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by fathima sultana
she wants us to not to lock our bedroom door and she even came inside few times in the middle of the night .


that's very odd . Other things u mentioned are common problems with in laws.

Try your best to live with her peacefully . If u must seperate from her , then do it tactfully ; Don't misbehave with her .

May Allah reward u for your patience.
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Eric H
04-25-2012, 07:48 PM
Greetings and peace be with you fathima sultana; welcome to the forum, I hope you will find some answers and peace.

I am so sorry to hear about your dilemma, sadly you will probably never change her, the only person you can change is yourself. Pray for the strength, peace and serenity to endure your hardship, Allah will never place a burden on you that you cannot cope with.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that transcends all understanding

Eric
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~ Sabr ~
04-30-2012, 11:37 AM
:wasalamex

Her second son that is not married yet still lives with her, right? So you can talk to your husband about moving out?
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