pregnant and not wanting to be with him

[sourbubblegum]

hi

im pregnant from a guy whom i am disgusted with and by. it was an accident and he told me he cant have kids because of the medication he takes. i need to know what is more important keeping the baby or aborting before a certain time ( how soon/ late is acceptable) that way my child wont grow up in a broken home? please help me.

[Futuwwa]

Is it feasible for you to give up the child for adoption?

[Abz2000]

u think you have a right to kill a baby just because a politician said so?


When the female (infant), buried alive, is questioned -For what crime she was killed;
When the scrolls are laid open;

When the world on High is unveiled;

When the Blazing Fire is kindled to fierce heat;

And when the Garden is brought near;-

(Then) shall each soul know what it has put forward.
Quran 81:8-14


please watch some youtube videos regarding abortion to see exactly how it's done and how that child is murdered and torn apart in the womb.

i wont post the graphic ones, hope you like the lullaby, listen carefully:





next time, find someone whom ur not disgusted by, and marry him before bedding someone ur "disgusted by".
commit a murder just to have sex? is that how badly the lamestream media of today has corrupted the youth and elders?

Even so, in the eyes of most of the pagans, their "partners" made alluring the slaughter of their children,
in order to lead them to their own destruction, and cause confusion in their way of life.
If Allah had willed, they would not have done so: But leave alone them and their inventions.
Quran 6:137

here's a source u may find interesting:

http://www.islamset.com/bioethics/obstet/guidance.html

[Hamza Asadullah]

hi

im pregnant from a guy whom i am disgusted with and by. it was an accident and he told me he cant have kids because of the medication he takes. i need to know what is more important keeping the baby or aborting before a certain time ( how soon/ late is acceptable) that way my child wont grow up in a broken home? please help me.

Are you Muslim may i ask? Islam does not permit abortion except in exceptional circumstances such as when doctors confirm that there is reasonable certainty that the life of the mother will be at risk during pregnancy and giving birth etc or if the child will be deformed and defective etc but surely those parents who abort their child for any other reason will be put to trial on the day of judgement and they will recieve a very harsh judgement indeed.

Allah says in the Qur'an regarding abortion:


“Kill not your children for fear of want. We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you. Verily the killing of them is a great sin.” (Qur'an 17:31).

So even if you think that the child will grow up in poverty etc then there is no reason to think in such a way as sustainance only comes from Allah and so you must rely upon him and surely he will provide and sustain you and your child just like he says in the Qur'an for Allah always keeps to his word. So there is no reason to even contemplate abortion in your case.

And Allah knows best in all matters

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[Futuwwa]

abz, how about less blame and more solutions? Real life does not have a save game / load game function, so what she "should" have done is irrelevant atm.

[Futuwwa]

As for the whole abortion issue, well, the majority opinion of the scholars is that it's prohibited in all but very exceptional circumstances. A minority considers it legal if done very early. I haven't looked into it, so I'm not going to try to tell you like it is. It's you whom the final decision is on at the end of the day, and you who will be held accountable for it on the final judgment, so it's for you to find out whether early abortion is immoral or not. Others can give their opinions, but following their opinion does not transfer responsibility for the decision onto them.

Have you talked with your parents about it?

[sourbubblegum]

Thanks for all of the help. Its only 7.5 weeks right now. I just felt so bad to keep it and not want to marry him. I am not on speaking terms with him now and we have not spoken in several weeks. I moved on the other side of town and did not mention where i moved. I already told him I was pregnant and he kept trying to make me let him move in with me. The thing is he is a year younger than me and lazy he doesnt have a job and blames not being able to work on having seizures. his seizures are completely controlled by medication he is just to irresponsible to take it. After getting to know him and putting everything together i cant believe i was such an idiot. I told him i would not let him move in with me while i work 2 jobs and pay the rent alone and he does nothing.

I told my sister i was pregnant but not my parents. she wants me to keep the baby and move back home to save money. my parents already told me they were not going to help me anymore. I just know my parents will be incredibly angry and thats why im avoiding the discussion with them. Im the first one to have a baby without being married and i just feel they will be so disappointed in me.

I was thinking i could never get married now that im pregnant nobody is going to be with me, i just feel so alone. the reason i asked about the abortion is because someone told me that its okay to do it if its less than 40 days. and i just didnt know if that was correct.

[CosmicPathos]

Thanks for all of the help. Its only 7.5 weeks right now. I just felt so bad to keep it and not want to marry him. I am not on speaking terms with him now and we have not spoken in several weeks. I moved on the other side of town and did not mention where i moved. I already told him I was pregnant and he kept trying to make me let him move in with me. The thing is he is a year younger than me and lazy he doesnt have a job and blames not being able to work on having seizures. his seizures are completely controlled by medication he is just to irresponsible to take it. After getting to know him and putting everything together i cant believe i was such an idiot. I told him i would not let him move in with me while i work 2 jobs and pay the rent alone and he does nothing.

I told my sister i was pregnant but not my parents. she wants me to keep the baby and move back home to save money. my parents already told me they were not going to help me anymore. I just know my parents will be incredibly angry and thats why im avoiding the discussion with them. Im the first one to have a baby without being married and i just feel they will be so disappointed in me.

I was thinking i could never get married now that im pregnant nobody is going to be with me, i just feel so alone. the reason i asked about the abortion is because someone told me that its okay to do it if its less than 40 days. and i just didnt know if that was correct.

What an ignorant view of someone's disease. Do you know what type of seizures he has? Do you know how badly seizures can effect someone's quality of life? He is quite correct in being cautious for not working because of his disease. Maybe he is going through existential crises about why he has the disease and why you dont? I am kinda surprised that the man is dying to get back to you, while you clearly are more worried that you do 2 jobs and he does not do anything (because of his disease). You are not a doctor and you have no qualification to determine that his seizures are well controlled and he is perfectly fine to work. How do you know his seizures are controlled by medications? No medication is 100% cure for any seizures.

Maybe you can try to read up on seizures a bit more and start looking at humans with diseases with a bit more compassion.

[Scimitar]

I think I have to agree with cosmicpathos here...

The man has offered to marry you in order that this child has a good loving parents.

The man has issues himself, that are not of his own doing - but Gods work, it is his trial through life... where is the compassion gone?

The man accepts that you work two jobs and I'm pretty sure that doesn't feel good about that...

...YOU broke contact off with him because you went into panic mode.

You also have no clue as to how seizures can mess with someones ability to lead a normal life, and instead of being there for him so he can also be a support for you - you left him, moved across town, and didn't even give him your address...

If you have this baby, you won't tell him - because you don't like him. The kid will grow up not knowing who the father is - or if the kid does know because you told them, the kid is gonna be coming from a broken home with a warped vision of men... well done, feminist.

My advice - DO THE RIGHT THING.

I'm really not gonna spell it out for you...

Scimi

[Scimitar]

... Ah heck.
Just marry the guy. Why all the indecisiveness?

Scimi

[Abz2000]

apologies if i was a little harsh in my earlier post, it does seem you are trying to do the right thing and are coming for advice,
i was just angry that you'd even consider such an act.
i'm sure there must be a way of coming to some sort of terms where he can even work from home if need be, there are so many internet opportunities out there that just require someone to take the reins,
i know one guy who used to buy and sell used pc's, but after he got a few thousand quid together, he decided to buy some simple components in wholesale from china and sells them on ebay, making much more than he ever did just buying and selling,
now his wife also works with him full time due to the volume of sales and posting packing etc.
they do very well and seem very comfortable and stress free too.
God, knows but just one of many things that can be done, and even if it doesn't bring in millions immediately, it still brings in something while having the potential of growing bigger and bigger with experience and time.


Thus when they fulfil their term appointed, either take them back on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms; and take for witness two persons from among you, endued with justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. Such is the admonition given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day.
And for those who fear and put their trust in Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out,

And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him.
For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.
Quran 65:2-3