Difficulty in speaking with Distant Family Members

[Jalal~]

:sl:
So every time my mom gets on the phone to talk to her brothers and sisters across the globe, she asks me to speak to them and gets mad when i dont want to. Its really hard, since im not very good at my native language anymore, and it becomes really awkward talking to my aunts and uncles and grandmother since i dont speak the language. And ive only everyone once in my life, but that was 7 years ago. I dont want to break relationships or anything, but i dont want to just sit there and not say anything either. What should i do?

[Banu_Hashim]

Try and improve in your native language. Your distant family members realise it's not your strong point, and they'll appreciate your effort inshaAllah.

[Scimitar]

I think you should try to speak to them for a short minute, stammer, stutter, mess up, then hand the phone back to your mum.

This will show everyone that despite you not being fluent in the language - your heart is in the right place, and you are not afraid to try. Otherwise, how are they to know?

Mostly, family just wanna hear your voice from overseas, even if it is a whimper (I know all about this - i'm the whimper-man at home when we get long distance calls).

A tip: If you can understand what they are saying, then laugh at every little joke they make, they often make jokes about "when you gonna marry" or "when are you gonna come visit? when your grandfather is one foot in the grave?" that kinda thing - take is as a joke, and give them a giggle, and then say Insha-Allah...

Maybe I'm waaay off the mark here - just speaking from personal experience. I hope I helped.

Scimi

[Jalal~]

thanks for the advice, both of are right. its just so weird when the silence comes in....it was ok when i was younger but now i feel that i should know how to speak better

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[dqsunday]

Talk to your immediate family in your native tongue more often, this way you can improve it. It is never wrong to be fluent in more than one language. Practicing and using it as often as you are able will keep your skill sharp and give you more confidence when you talk with your family over seas.