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anonymous
05-02-2012, 10:27 PM
Assalaamu-Alaikum,

For several years I was practising Islam relatively closely, however since the past year and a bit, my interest and enthusiasm in this religion has diminished so much. I now find it such a chore to even pray and tbh I don't even pray my namaz now, I don't mind missing them. There are several reasons for this and essentially it's because I find this religion so incredibly hard that I just don't wish to follow it much now, which is very saddening for me. My reasons and questions are given below, I would appreciate if someone could advise me on these please:

1) I don't like performing wudhu at all now. This is because I read that you have to remove any eye crust which sets in your eyes( e.g. the eye crust that is there when you wake up, but also any eye crust that comes during the day). Removing this eye crust makes me really worried I'm going to infect my eyes, and also I'm having to do it so frequently, I've developed this horrible forehead line which is only on one side of my forehead. It is looking so horrible and downright WIERD, and this has only been the first year since I have started doing this. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had to spend my whole lifetime doing this. What can I do about this problem? TBH I just don't feel like praying now because of this, everytime I look in the mirror I get so depressed and look at how I have changed my appearance. Surely praying namaz shouldn't be this hard?

2) I take long to perform ghusl. Again, i just don't feel like performing it anymore, and it is one of my nightmares tbh. It takes me at least 20-25 minutes, and that is when I hurry so fast. I'm sorry but I just don't understand how someone is supposed to do it within 5-10 minutes?

That's what I don't get about this religion, why does it say you must get EVERY SINGLE HAIR WET or else your ghusl will be invalid and EVERY SINGLE PRAYER YOU MAKE WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED, and then expect you to do this within 5-10 minutes?

3) When performing ghusl, do we have to use our fingers to clean our ears, because I read that you have to and if you don't, your ghusl will be invalid. Again, this drives me crazy, because I never feel as though I am inserting my fingers and cleaning my ear holes correctly. At the end of it, I just give up and lose hope, because no matter how much I try I will never be satisfied, so what's the point bothering with anything at all?

4) One Imam I spoke to said, " don't get into the nitty gritty of things with Islam". Again, this contradicts my thinking, because it is EXACTLY this 'nitty gritty' stuff which determines whether your worship is accepted or not! There are many things which do not add up in this religion for me atm, and nobody can seem to provide an answer for me either :(

Please could some of you clear up or address these concerns for me, because I am so disappointed in myself to suddenly find no pleasure in following my religion, and I feel there is nobody that even has a clue about this. Sometimes, I feel I am over-thinking, but then again it's not like these are irrational thoughts anyway in my opinion.

I would appreciate your replies and help, JazaakAllah
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Alpha Dude
05-03-2012, 09:38 AM
Wa alaykum salam,

For 1, does it really take that long to clear the eye crust? You can do it in seconds. I think you are over-thinking this. Most likely waswas.

Are you referring to ghusl or wudhu? Ghusl only has three absolute obligatory actions according to Hanafi fiqh and that is to gargle thrice, rinse nose thrice and wash your entire body thrice. You don't have to sit their painstakingly examining each individual hair to see if it is wet, you just assume that by the action of throwing some water over your body and wiping it with your hand that it will cover everything.

The actual base and obligatory acts (although it is recommended to do all the others for reward and completeness) for wudhu are these, in Hanafi fiqh:
i. Wash face from forehead to lower portion of chin and from one ear lobe to the other.
ii. Wash both arms including elbows once
iii. Do Masah of a quarter of the head once
iv. Washing both feet, including the ankles, once.

If any of these are left out, wudhu is incomplete. So if you're doing masah of the full head, only a quarter of it needs to be wet in order for the requirement to have been lifted (don't misunderstand, I'm not saying wash a quarter - aim for full but the least amount is a quarter, i.e. there is some leeway in that not every single hair of the head needs wetting).

There is are certain things that need doing which if not done, invalidate ghusl/wudhu and these are the ones mentioned above - i.e. there is a bit of a fail-safe here, in essence the other stuff doesn't need to be done in order for the actual obligation to be lifted however the sunnah and wajib actions are important and should not be missed without reason.

Seek refuge in Allah before performing wudhu and ghusl and try not to over think. Realise that humans don't have knowledge of the unseen and can only go on their own assumptions and limited senses of whether or not they have covered the obligatory. Try your best but don't overthink and don't overburden yourself needlessly. It's definitely some kind of waswas/whispers of shaytan. Think about it - you started off so worried that you will have missed something obligatory from wudhu/ghusl that would make none of your worship valid but in the end you resort to not praying in the first place. Cunning trick of shaytan.


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Hamza Asadullah
05-04-2012, 11:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Assalaamu-Alaikum,

For several years I was practising Islam relatively closely, however since the past year and a bit, my interest and enthusiasm in this religion has diminished so much. I now find it such a chore to even pray and tbh I don't even pray my namaz now, I don't mind missing them. There are several reasons for this and essentially it's because I find this religion so incredibly hard that I just don't wish to follow it much now, which is very saddening for me. My reasons and questions are given below, I would appreciate if someone could advise me on these please:

1) I don't like performing wudhu at all now. This is because I read that you have to remove any eye crust which sets in your eyes( e.g. the eye crust that is there when you wake up, but also any eye crust that comes during the day). Removing this eye crust makes me really worried I'm going to infect my eyes, and also I'm having to do it so frequently, I've developed this horrible forehead line which is only on one side of my forehead. It is looking so horrible and downright WIERD, and this has only been the first year since I have started doing this. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had to spend my whole lifetime doing this. What can I do about this problem? TBH I just don't feel like praying now because of this, everytime I look in the mirror I get so depressed and look at how I have changed my appearance. Surely praying namaz shouldn't be this hard?

2) I take long to perform ghusl. Again, i just don't feel like performing it anymore, and it is one of my nightmares tbh. It takes me at least 20-25 minutes, and that is when I hurry so fast. I'm sorry but I just don't understand how someone is supposed to do it within 5-10 minutes?

That's what I don't get about this religion, why does it say you must get EVERY SINGLE HAIR WET or else your ghusl will be invalid and EVERY SINGLE PRAYER YOU MAKE WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED, and then expect you to do this within 5-10 minutes?

3) When performing ghusl, do we have to use our fingers to clean our ears, because I read that you have to and if you don't, your ghusl will be invalid. Again, this drives me crazy, because I never feel as though I am inserting my fingers and cleaning my ear holes correctly. At the end of it, I just give up and lose hope, because no matter how much I try I will never be satisfied, so what's the point bothering with anything at all?

4) One Imam I spoke to said, " don't get into the nitty gritty of things with Islam". Again, this contradicts my thinking, because it is EXACTLY this 'nitty gritty' stuff which determines whether your worship is accepted or not! There are many things which do not add up in this religion for me atm, and nobody can seem to provide an answer for me either :(

Please could some of you clear up or address these concerns for me, because I am so disappointed in myself to suddenly find no pleasure in following my religion, and I feel there is nobody that even has a clue about this. Sometimes, I feel I am over-thinking, but then again it's not like these are irrational thoughts anyway in my opinion.

I would appreciate your replies and help, JazaakAllah
:sl:

There is a very simple reason why you have become so "disillusioned" with two simple and basic acts in Islam ie Wudu and Ghusl. The reason is simply because "YOU ARE GOING WAY TOO EXTREME WHEN DOING YOUR WUDU AND GHUSL". It is as simple as that. You are obsessing over that which you do not have to obsess over. It seems to me that you suffer from from some sort of OCD and Waswas (Whisperings of shaythan). That is why for you doing a simple wudu and ghusl has become such a major chore. But if you were to make wudu and ghusl properly Islamic way then it would not be such a major chore as it is for you now.

Where does it say that you have to poke your eye out just to get the crumbs out of your eyes? Just wash your face 3 times normally covering the outer and inner part of your face and that will suffice. There is NO need to stick your finger in your eye to get any crumbs out or go over the top in any part of doing wudu or ghusl. Who says you have to spend 20-25 minutes rubbing your body obsessively when making ghusl? All you have to do is to rub every rub of your body thoroughly once and that will suffice.

Who says that wudu and ghusl have to be such a major chore? Certainly NOT Islam! So i think it is time you STOP doing this to yourself as it is now clearly affecting your imaan. Surely it has now gotten such a stage where you really need to take urgent action before it gets any worse.

Please spend time in reading through the following threads very carefully and if you need anymore help then please do not hesitate to ask:

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...s-worship.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...ck-q-wudu.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...-one-help.html


May Allah help those of us who suffer from waswas and protect us from the evil of man and jinn. Ameen
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Ali_008
05-31-2012, 01:29 AM
:wasalamex

It is nothing but whispers of shaytaan that make acts of worship cumbersome. And what the Imam said, he must have meant that what matters are intentions. You may do the perfect wudhu and ghusl, but if you do it with the intention of showing off your Salaah then what's the point? This is the second time this week that someone has raised an objection to wudhu; what's going on? :enough!:

Ghusl takes 15 mins for me, and I do it whenever I take a shower. What's the big deal about these short acts of worship that take very little time? Are you in a hurry each and everyday, and prefer to never take a shower?

Wudu - Bro, it's a simple concept. You are just expected to clean yourself before doing something that brings you closer to God. What's the big deal about it? For most people, it takes a hardly a minute. For those people who do it very thoroughly and are on the look out for using as less water as possible, even for them it takes max 5 minutes. I think it is just whispers of satan that are casting these doubts in your heart to prevent you from worshiping. Don't worry about it dear brother, it happens to all of us. At times, wudu seems laborious to me as well, and I keep looking for excuses to avoid the next salaah. But the solution to this is you gotta fight these evil thoughts like how you fight distractions when you're trying to focus on something. A believer's way is paved with difficulties. With each step that brings him closer to Allah and paradise, life becomes more and more difficult for him, but with experience he learns to face all of them and come out victorious.
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Snowflake
05-31-2012, 05:22 AM
^Excellent posts masha Allah. Nothing to add except it makes me think how shaytaan can seem simple acts of worship seem like mountains. We can sit for an hour at the barbar's waiting for a hair cut. Can queue for 15 minutes at the bank and bus stops. We'll shop til we drop to get what we wanted. But something that takes a few minutes and you get rewarded for in both worlds becomes excrutiating to the extent that it puts one off the whole religion? Na' udhu billah. This is the work of the shaytaan. I fear how many of our beloved ummah will let shaytaan destroy them. Please dear sis/bro listen to the advice above and fight these negative feelings with all you've got. Seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytaan.
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Snowflake
05-31-2012, 05:29 AM
Invocations for if you are stricken by in your faith

Say: I seek refuge in Allah. (Then you should desist from doing what you are in doubt about.) Reference: Al-Bukhari, cf. Al-Asqalani, Fathul-Bari 6/336, Muslim 1/120.


'Aamantu billaahi wa Rusulihi.

Say: I believe in Allah and His Messenger.
Reference: Muslim, 1/119-20.





Huwal-'Awwalu wal-'Aakhiru wadh-Dhaahiru wal-Baatinu, wa Huwa bikulli shay'in 'Aleem. (Recite the Ayat) He is the First and the Last, the Most High and the Most Near. And He is the Knower of all things (in Arabic).
Reference: Al-Hadid 57:3, Abu Dawud 4/329. Al-Albani graded it good in SahihAbu Dawud, 3/962.









Invocations against the Devil and his promptings

141. Seeking refuge with Allah against him (i.e. by saying I seek refuge in Allah from Satan the outcast).



Reference: Abu Dawud 1/206, At-Tirmithi. See also Al-Albani, Sahih At-Tirmithi 1/77, and Surat Al-Mu'minun, 23:98-9.
142. The call to prayer - 'Athan.
Reference: Muslim 1/291, Al-Bukhari 1/151.


143. Saying words of Allah's remembrance (Thikr) and recitation of the Qur'an.
Reference: "Do not turn your homes into graveyards, surely the Devil flees from the house in which Surat Al-Baqarah is read," Muslim 1/539. The Devil is also driven out by the invocations for morning and evening, those that are said before sleeping and upon waking up, those for entering and leaving the house, including those for entering and leaving the mosque, and by many other authentic invocations taught to us by the Prophet (SAW) such as the reading of 'Ayatul-Kursi, (Al-Baqarah 2:255), and the last two 'Ayat of Surat Al-Baqarah before going to sleep. Whoever says: "There is none worthy of worship but Allah alone, Who has no partner, His is the dominion and His is the praise, and he is Able to do all things," one hundred times, it will be a protection for him from the Devil throughout the day.'


http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/


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