Has Allah abandoned me...?

[Samkurd]

Im not religious but i like to stay close to Allah and talk to him and try to live my life good. I grew up with some troubles in my life and i always call to Allah for help, and usually he helps me.

But now i can't feel like i belong anywhere, i feel rejected from the world, and so lost. I am not close with my family since my mother had problems she sort of neglected me and i feel like Allah has neglected me too because i drink and smoke and I don't pray, but i try help people and give to charity..

Im writing this because i got so angry just now at some people ringing bike bells out my window and i screamed my head off at them and got into a very aggressive verbal exchange... I just feel so low when i let myself get to these points... i smoked marijuana today I feel like it was Allah punishing me because i promised him i would stop. I know its better to always be positive but my dark past and emotions sometimes get the better of me and it just makes me feel so lost and rejected and makes me hate myself even more...

I just want to know how i can get closer to Allah because i made such a fool of myself tonight and woke up my whole house i just can't deal with these emotions anymore i beg Allah so many nights in my bed i cry to myself and beg Allah to help me in some way overcome my problems but i just feel like I'm not getting any support...

I don't know anymore..

[ardianto]

Assalamu'alaikum

Last week, my wife friend and her husband visited my home. They are the couple of Qur'an teachers.

In chat with us, she said "There are people who beg Allah to solve their problems, but when the salah time comes, they said, "next time I will perform salah". So, Allah will answer their du'a with "next time" too".

Bro, when will you start salah, when will you stop drink and smoking marijuana?. Next time?

[Samkurd]

I keep telling myself I'm going to start praying and stop drinking and smoking... its very hard for me because of my anger problems, but i feel like i want Allah to give me a sign that he's really there, the universe should be enough but i want to know if Allah knows who i am and if he listens to me i just feel like I'm losing that feeling, i want Allah to understand me and forgive me. Is there anyway Allah can listen to me if i don't perform salah? Like what happens if i die and I'm not on Allah's good side...

Part of me just can't deal with how i have these outbursts on people but the other half tells me "this is the last time, this is Allah showing you that nothing good ever comes out of behaving in such a way so this is his chance for you to see your struggles and use this downfall as a way to correct my errors and raise myself higher than i was before."

I just have this doubt in my mind if Allah really exists, I mean i believe in a power above us but is Allah really someone who can look at all of our lives individually and take time for each person? I just pray for a sign or for some sort of vision in a dream, something to give me strength and hope..

Also when i used to pray sometimes its all in Arabic and i don't understand arabic, i recite the prayers in arabic but i don't really know what they mean so i don't feel like I'm doing it whole heartedly..

I have a dream to change the earth and make it a better place, and i spoke to the sky earlier from what i explained above and told Allah i would be the person who will make Earth a better place for everyone and if he could give me a sign or a sense of direction, and i feel like he was testing me to see if i was worthy of my words which i clearly have shown i wasn't.

[Hulk]

My advice is go out, sign up for some classes on Islam. Bring a pen and a notebook to class and take notes. Many who are born into muslim families take for granted that they are muslim and they don't really bother to learn. The converts are usually the ones who see this wealth of knowledge embedded in Islam and they love learning as it increases their faith/iman.

How can you change the world if you can't even change yourself. One step at a time :)

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[Muhaba]

If you want something done, brother samkurd, you have to do it. Just sitting there isn't going to get you naywhere, no matter how many times you ask Allah for help. you'll have to take the first step, whether it has to do with praying or becoming religious or controlling your anger prblems or stopping drinking & smoking, etc.

Take the example of a poor person who has no money. he sits at home praying to Allah for money but he doesn't get any. does it mean Allah hates him and has neglected him? Does it mean Allah doesn't want to give it to him?

no it doesn't mean that but Allah isn't going to rain the money on his head from his roof, lol. He has to go out and earn it. He has to try and then Allah will give it to him.

Likewise, you have to do something about your situation. get up and pray, not just fard prayer but nawafil (nafl) too. in fact, pray a lot, asking Allah to forgive you for your sins. drinking and not praying are both sins. and this world's prblems are nothing compared to the punishment in the grave and Hell fire that you will face for the sins you do.

do you know about the punishment in the grave? when you die, horrible-looking angels will beat you for your sins and for not praying. imagine that, being beaten nonstop. there will also be horrible animals there, like scorpions. imagine those in your grave. not only that, but there will be a window from hell to your grave. What an awful end!

but if you live a righteous life, your grave will be place of blessings, with angels that are beautiful-looking not scary, and your grave will become green and wide and there will be a window from Paradise.

So you have to change yourself and start living a righteous life, otherwise you risk losing this.

some things you can do:
start reading the Quran with translation / commentary.
watch islamic videos and listen to islamic lectures that bring you closer to Allah.
(nowadays it's so easy to learn about Islam. you can do it in your home online!)
go to the masjid and listen to lectures there.

for your drinking and smoking problem and maurajana problem, yo may need to go to a help center. do that if you can't stop by yourself.

don't pity yourself and don't let yourself be a victim. when you focus on past problems, you aren't helping yourself. you're weakening yourself further. focus on the good things in your life and on your abilities. think of people who are worse than you. there are handicapped ppl. there are mentally retarded ppl with such a low IQ that they can't do anything for themselves. there are starvng ppl in the world. not to mention all the other problems from incurable diseases to unending persecution. so you could be worse off.

focus on other people's problems instead of your own. focusing on your own problems will make you fail. focusing on other ppl's problems means you will try to help them and that will make you feel good about yourself too!

[ardianto]

I keep telling myself I'm going to start praying and stop drinking and smoking... its very hard for me because of my anger problems,

Do not surrender to the shaytan, bro. Fight ! fight ! :)

[Muhammad]

:sl: brother,

In addition to the above advice, I think reading the Qur'an with a translation/commentary and reflecting upon it would really help you. Allaah (swt) has already given us this miracle, it is up to us to study it and use it for the good of ourselves. The more you learn about Allaah (swt), the more your love for Him will grow and you will realise that there is nothing that is too difficult for Him to do. And the Qur'an teaches us so much about Allaah (swt), so we need to learn from it. :)

And with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record. [Al-An'am: 59]

Allaah (swt) has not abandoned you. He is waiting for you to turn back to Him. He loves to forgive sins and He wants the best for you.

[Endymion]

Im not religious but i like to stay close to Allah and talk to him and try to live my life good.

(7:55) Call upon your Lord with humility and in secret. Surely He does not love transgressors.

I grew up with some troubles in my life and i always call to Allah for help, and usually he helps me.

(14:34) and Who gave you all that you asked Him for. Were you to count the favours of Allah you shall never be able to encompass them. Verily man is highly unjust, exceedingly ungrateful.

(14:7) Also call to mind when your Lord proclaimed: "If you give thanks, I will certainly grant you more; but if you are ungrateful for My favours, My chastisement is terrible.

But now i can't feel like i belong anywhere, i feel rejected from the world, and so lost. I am not close with my family since my mother had problems she sort of neglected me and i feel like Allah has neglected me too because i drink and smoke and I don't pray, but i try help people and give to charity..

(18:103) Say, (O Muhammad): "Shall We tell you who will be the greatest losers in respect of their works?
(18:104) It will be those whose effort went astray in the life of the world and who believe nevertheless that they are doing good.

(57:14) The hypocrites will call out to the believers: “Were we not with you?” The believers will reply: “Yes; but you allowed yourselves to succumb to temptations, and you wavered and you remained in doubt and false expectations deluded you until Allah's command came to pass, and the Deluder deluded you concerning Allah.

Im writing this because i got so angry just now at some people ringing bike bells out my window and i screamed my head off at them and got into a very aggressive verbal exchange...

(3:134) who spend in the way of Allah both in plenty and hardship, who restrain their anger, and forgive others. Allah loves such good-doers."

I just feel so low when i let myself get to these points... i smoked marijuana today I feel like it was Allah punishing me because i promised him i would stop.

(10:44) Surely Allah does not wrong men; they rather wrong themselves.

I know its better to always be positive but my dark past and emotions sometimes get the better of me and it just makes me feel so lost and rejected and makes me hate myself even more...

(4:17) (And remember that) Allah's acceptance of repentance is only for those who commit evil out of ignorance and then soon repent. It is towards such persons that Allah turns graciously. Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.

(39:53) Tell them, (O Prophet): “My servants who have committed excesses against themselves, do not despair of Allah's Mercy. Surely Allah forgives all sins. He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

(4:116) Truly it is only associating others with Allah in His divinity that Allah does not forgive, and forgives anything besides that to whomsoever He wills. Whoever associates others with Allah in His divinity has indeed strayed far away.


(3:135) These are the ones who, when they commit any indecency and wrong against themselves, instantly remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins - for who will forgive sins save Allah? - and who do not wilfully persist in the wrong they did.

I just want to know how i can get closer to Allah because i made such a fool of myself tonight and woke up my whole house i just can't deal with these emotions anymore i beg Allah so many nights in my bed i cry to myself and beg Allah to help me in some way overcome my problems but i just feel like I'm not getting any support...

I don't know anymore

(22:77) Believers, bow down and prostrate yourselves before Your Lord and serve Your Lord and do good that you may prosper.

(22:78) Strive in the cause of Allah in a manner worthy of that striving. He has chosen you (for His task), and He has not laid upon you any hardship in religion. Keep to the faith of your father Abraham. Allah named you Muslims earlier and even in this (Book), that the Messenger may be a witness over you, and that you may be witnesses over all mankind. So establish Prayer, and pay Zakah, and hold fast to Allah. He is your Protector. What an excellent Protector; what an excellent Helper!

(7:56) And do not make mischief in the earth after it has been set in order, and call upon Him with fear and longing. Surely Allah's mercy is close to those who do good.

(23:1) The believers have indeed attained true success:

(23:2) those who, in their Prayers, humble themselves

(23:3) who avoid whatever is vain and frivolous;





(39:17) (On the other hand), good tidings await those who eschew serving false gods and penitently return to Allah. (O Prophet), give good tidings to My servants,

(39:18) to those who pay heed to what is said and follow the best of it. They are the ones whom Allah has guided to the Right Way; they are the ones endowed with understanding.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

has Allah abandoned me....




.... have I abandoned Allaah?....

[Muhammad]

I just have this doubt in my mind if Allah really exists, I mean i believe in a power above us but is Allah really someone who can look at all of our lives individually and take time for each person? I just pray for a sign or for some sort of vision in a dream, something to give me strength and hope..

Here is a beautiful hadeeth which may be relevant here:

Abu Dharr narrated: The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said, “O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another. O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you. O My servants, all of you are hungry except for those I have fed, so seek food of Me and I shall feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked except for those I have clothed, so seek clothing of Me and I shall clothe you. O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you. O My servants, you will not attain harming Me so as to harm Me, and you will not attain benefiting Me so as to benefit Me. O my servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to become as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, any more than a needle decreases the sea if put into it. O My servants, it is but your deeds that I reckon up for you and then recompense you for, so let him who finds good praise Allah, and let him who finds other than that blame no one but himself.” Sa’id said that when Abu Idris narrated this hadith he would kneel down upon his knees.

[Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Number 6246]

[ardianto]

"Indeed, Allah does not wrong the people at all, but it is the people who are wronging themselves."
(surah Yunus: 44)

Allah did not abandon you, Allah never abandon anyone. But without we realize, we often abandon Allah. It's make us far from Allah.


I realized it after I read a text that came to my wife's cellphone few moments ago. She subscribe free daily Islamic reminder from KH (shaykh) Abdullah Gymnastiar, an aleem from my place.

:)

[Hamza Asadullah]

Im not religious but i like to stay close to Allah and talk to him and try to live my life good. I grew up with some troubles in my life and i always call to Allah for help, and usually he helps me.

But now i can't feel like i belong anywhere, i feel rejected from the world, and so lost. I am not close with my family since my mother had problems she sort of neglected me and i feel like Allah has neglected me too because i drink and smoke and I don't pray, but i try help people and give to charity..

Im writing this because i got so angry just now at some people ringing bike bells out my window and i screamed my head off at them and got into a very aggressive verbal exchange... I just feel so low when i let myself get to these points... i smoked marijuana today I feel like it was Allah punishing me because i promised him i would stop. I know its better to always be positive but my dark past and emotions sometimes get the better of me and it just makes me feel so lost and rejected and makes me hate myself even more...

I just want to know how i can get closer to Allah because i made such a fool of myself tonight and woke up my whole house i just can't deal with these emotions anymore i beg Allah so many nights in my bed i cry to myself and beg Allah to help me in some way overcome my problems but i just feel like I'm not getting any support...

I don't know anymore..

:sl:

Your posts show that you really do have imaan (faith) and you also have some concern about your current condition. So that is a start. Regarding what you said about Allah neglecting you then surely my brother it is you who has neglected your obligations unto Allah your creator. Does he not still feed you everyday when so many are starving to death and they will give anything for a morsel of food. Has he not provided you with shelter when so many have nowhere to call home except that they know not where they will sleep next everyday. Does he not give you to drink everyday when so many are dying of thirst and know not when the next sip of water will be. Has Allah not given you wealth when so many are in poverty and have never seen any wealth, yet Allah provides for you and your family every single day. Has he not given you good health when so many are crippled with diseases and disablilites, yet you still have your sight, hearing and your limbs, you still have good health when so many have not.

Has he really neglected you when he has provided you with a family, and a partner when so many are orphans and have never known a family. Has he really neglected you when he has given you Islam as your deen and favoured you with imaan (faith) out of so many people when he could have easily created you a non believer.

He sustains you, nourishes you and provides for you on a daily basis. He give you energy and the ability to function normally every single day on an INDIVIDUAL basis yet you claim that he does not look at you individually? My brother even though you have abandoned and neglected him, look at what he does for you everyday. Just sit there and reflect. Contemplate and ponder, and know that the favours that he has done for you individually every secpond of your life are SO vast and countless that even if we were to live for millions of years we would NEVER be able to comprehend the favours that Allah has done for us.

Therefore my brother i think you should really re-define who has neglected who, because one thing is for sure that Allah has not neglected you but it is you who has neglected him. You have left him in order to follow your own desires in consuming intoxicants and yet you claim that he has neglected you? Then surely you know what you must do, for it is the intoxicants are destroying you. It is the intoxicants that are making you react in such a way towards others and it is intoxicants that have taken you far away from Allah.

What you must realise is that taking Marijuana, pot, skunk, weed, hash, draw, whatever you want to call it, is totally forbidden as the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said that:

"Every intoxicant is prohibited." (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4088)

And he also said:

"That which intoxicates in large quantities is prohibited in small quantities." (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and others, with a sound chain of narrators)

Therefore it is clear that all drugs are Haram due to the fact that they intoxicate a person in one way or another. One loses the ability to think and reflect in a proper manner, and that is intoxication.

Intoxication linked to psychosis

It is a typical excuse that shaythan gives to a user of intoxicants such as marijuana that it does not affect them in anyway and that they will still be able to function normally etc. But that is a great deception of shaythan who wants the user to continue taking intoxicants so that he can go further away from Allah. As well as his deen suffering the user of Marijuana also loses out in this world as his education, family life and work suffer as a result of this evil habit. Not only does he suffer spiritually and physically but also mentally as it is now scientifically proven that Cannabis is linked to psychosis aswell as many other psychological defects. The user of intoxicants may think that they are fine right now and that they will never end up suffering such mental problems but research indicates that the longer the user takes it then they increasingly risk deterioration of their mental and physical health. Not only does cannabis use cause many psychological defects but it destroys ones ambitions, determination and zeal, so a person ends up living everyday just for the next charge or "buzz". What a worthless existence.

Losing this world and the hereafter to intoxication

Intoxication is very detrimental to ones life in this world and the next. If a person were to die in such a state then they would in effect have ruined their Hereafter. So not only will one lose this world by using such a substance but the worst thing is they will also lose the hereafter. What a loss that would be! That person would ask of Allah:
"Oh Allah please i beg of you send me back to the Earth just one more time so that i can do things better. This time i know the truth and i will obey your commands to the best of my ability".

But it will be said to that person "NO! You were given your chance yet you ruined it so now you will have to face the consequances of your actions."

Imaan (faith) cannot stay in the same body as intoxication

All Intoxicants are a test for mankind just like the apple was a test for Adam (As). When a person intoxicates themself then Imaan (faith) cannot remain in the same body as Imaan. Therefore when a person intoxicates themself then imaan (faith) comes out of the body and hovers over their head. This means that a person who is intoxicated does not have imaan until they are sober that is if Allah wills. Imam Rabbani (Ra) described this as a contagion of disbelief where a Muslim who commits a major sin like intoxication and dies without repentance has died in a type of disbelief. Not in the same way as a disbeliever but it is still a type of disbelief as they died without imaan. Imam Suyuti (Ra) states that intoxication is one of the major sins where a person may die in disbelief.
One opinion of some scholars is that a person who does die in such a way may not even smell the scent of Paradise although the majority of scholars agree that a believer who dies without repentance from a major sin lik intoxication may go to Jannah some day if Allah wills but it may be after a very long time in Jahannam but they will certainly have a bad death and the grave punishment as well as a terrible time on the day of Judgement where people will be scorched so much by the sun which will be so close that they will be drowning in their own sweat!

Is it worth risking losing the Hereafter over a short buzz?

We cannot even spend a second in such a terrible place as Jahannam so how will we cope in there for eternity? We struggle in temperatures of 90 degrees F but what about thousands of degrees? How will we cope in such a place where we will be fuel for the fire? The way a person dies that is the way they will be raised up therefore a person who dies whilst intoxicated will be raised up intoxicated and Allah will not even look at him but ask the angels to throw him into the fire. What a disgusting way to enter the worst of places - Jahannam. A true dogs death.
So can the one who intoxicates themselves guarantee that they will not die whilst they are intoxicated? We all have a 50% chance of dying at any moment therefore when one is intoxicated then they are actually taking a 50% risk of eternal doom. Is it really worth it for a short and pointless artificial buzz? You can be the judge of that...

Conclusion:

So now you know what you must do my brother. Now you know that there is NO doubt that it is NOT Allah that has abandoned or neglected you but it is you that has neglected him. You also know now that it is intoxicants that has made you become the kind of person that you do not want to be. What is most important of all that you realise that it is intoxicants that has distorted your thinking so much that it is made you think that Allah has neglected you when it is you who has neglected him, and it has taken you far away from you deen to such an extent that you are even doubting the existance of Allah. After this how can you even touch another joint? or sip alcohol knowing how much of your faith it has ruined and taken away and how much it has ruined you as a person in the way you interact with others including your own family.

Forget the past now as it has gone and made you the person you are today. There is no point in regretting what has alrady happened or being fearful about the future which is uncertain as we may not be alive, therefore we must concentrate on NOW. That is what is most important and that is what we must be trying to make the best of. So now it is upto you how much you want to change your life forever. If you really want to change your life and get closer to Allah and change yourself into a better person again towards your family and others, and if you really want what most people want which is to have contentment and peace within their hearts then you know now that the ONLY way to achieve this is to stop intoxication at once and start immediately by fulfilling your obligations unto Allah which is top start praying your Salaah.

Shaythan will not want you to stop though. He will try and make you delay it by telling you to stop tomorrow, or the day after, or next week, or after this or that event. But what you must do is to stop NOW. It will not be easy at first but if you really want to change your life forever then you must do this now, but if you want to continue going backwards then continue as you are but then do not ever say that Allah has abandoned you but know that you made the concious decision to abandong and neglect Allah yourself. The you will have no one to blame but yourself.

Regarding not being able to understand what you are praying in Salaah is an issue most non arabic speakers face but how long would it take us to learn what we are praying in Salaah if we really want to learn? Not long at all. It is only about making the little effort it requires to learn it. Here is a link to the translation of Salaah into English which you can print and learn in order to know what you are praying in Salaah:

Translation of Salaah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...lat-namaz.html


Here is help on how to concetrate in Salaah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...my-salaah.html


The following threads will also help in increasing your iman (faith) and help you get closer to Allah:



Utterly regretful in the Hereafter:

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hereafter.html

10 Steps to increasing our Imaan (faith):

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...d-version.html


10 Steps to get Closer to Allah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...d-version.html


Truly life changing:

http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-...-changing.html


So my brother you have no time to waste as death can come at any second. You wanted a sign then this is it. This is your opportunity to change your life for the better FORVER. Therefore GRAB IT with both hands! Know that chances like this may never come again. On top of that Ramadan is near and for that we must prepare for it now as waiting until it comes may be too late and we may end up wasting it.

Whatever you need then please feel free to ask.

May Allah enable us to go towards him and to do everything to please him and refrain from anything that may anger or displease him. Ameen