Muslim NEEDS HELP!!!

[AhmedSon]

Hello,
Im new here. Im about 1X year's old wich means Im in school. Basically my mum is friends with the mum of a girl that I like, And i'm Madly in love with the girl! I don't know what to do. Its haram to talk to her so what should I do. I cant marry here since as I said b4 Im still in school about yr X<12.
Please tell me what to do! I can't stop thinking about this girl and I don't want to do haram and be girlfreind, boyfreind.

[ardianto]

And i'm Madly in love with the girl! I don't know what to do. Its haram to talk to her so what should I do.

Are you in relationship with her? or you just attracted and you think you fall in love with her?

It seem like you just attracted, without relationship which you and her love each other. I know from this "I don't know what to do. Its haram to talk to her so what should I do." and "I can't stop thinking about this girl and I don't want to do haram and be girlfreind, boyfreind." You are just attracted to her, and you are afraid you cannot get her. It made you got 'panic attack'.

I am 45, married through love marriage, and have two sons, but I was young too. I know what you feel because I had several experiences too. However, I never panic like you.

Since I was kid I have seen the male who attracted to female, approach, declare their love, and ..... rejected. ;D

That made me realize that we are not always can get women we like. So, when I attracted to a girl, I told myself "If she can become mine, Alhamdulillah. If not, it's okay. There are many other female in the world".

Young man. It's normal if you are attracted to female. But if you have principle like mine, you will able to control your feeling, and not panic like this.

[AhmedSon]

That made me realize that we are not always can get women we like. So, when I attracted to a girl, I told myself "If she can become mine, Alhamdulillah. If not, it's okay. There are many other female in the world".

I needed some one to say that.
Thank You, its just when ever I see her I fell weird... and I don't know what to do.
But I will just wait till Im old enough to be married and ask her.
Thanks

[ardianto]

May Allah make her becomes your wife in the future. :)

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[AhmedSon]

Inshallah. It's that I have anxiety attacks a lot! But that calmed me. I like the community here If I ever have a problem I will be sure to talk to everyone here.

[AhmedSon]

I posted this same topic in the Advice section b4 you had replied btw so can some one remove it once a moderator approves it!

[Asiyah3]

:sl:

One night a child was crossing a road holding his father's hand. Suddenly all the lights got off, and the child got panicked. What if a car hits me, I fall or what if a dog bites me, he thought. He got so frightened that his fear and worries made him forget about his father being besides him. Then the lights came back. He saw his dad holding his hand, and felt comforted and safe.

If a person has Allah (swt) with him, he has no worries because he puts his trust in the All-Kind and All-Merciful, and he is protected by the All-Wise and All-Powerful, who loves us more than our mothers, and his heart is filled with serenity, contentment, comfort and happiness.

Put your trust in Allah. :) May Allah protect you always, and fill your heart with faith, and trust.

Welcome to the forum. We're glad to have you here.

[Endymion]

Im about 1X year's old

Sorry,does that mean you are 10 :hmm:

[AhmedSon]

Sorry,does that mean you are 10 :hmm:

Haha not that young mate xD (grade X > 8)

If a person has Allah (swt) with him, he has no worries because he puts his trust in the All-Kind and All-Merciful, and he is protected by the All-Wise and All-Powerful, who loves us more than our mothers, and his heart is filled with serenity, contentment, comfort and happiness.

Put your trust in Allah. :) May Allah protect you always, and fill your heart with faith, and trust.

That's what I did. I made Dua and Mashallah Allah brought me here! I'm a Left brained person witch means I like to plan things. I had written on a notepad and calculated what action to take using a formula I devised and then realized instead of doing that just do what Allah tell us to do. I sheared for help but most of the stuff was for adults so I came here to get advice and Allhumdulliah Allah brought me here.
Thank You All.

[Asiyah3]

Sorry,does that mean you are 10 :hmm:

No, it means that he's over ten years old. Like if I'm 35 years old, I write 3X if I don't want to specify the age.

[AhmedSon]

Two more Questions:

• I try to lower my gaze but sometimes I catch my self looking!
• Is it Haram if I want to know if she likes me back?

[ardianto]

Sorry,does that mean you are 10

"X" in Roman numeral is "10"

So, 1X = 110 .... wow, he's very old

[AhmedSon]

Why yes, I am 110yrs old now you guys get it xD.

[AhmedSon]

Back On-Topic can some one answer my two questions?

[Asiyah3]

Two more Questions:

• I try to lower my gaze but sometimes I catch my self looking!
• Is it Haram if I want to know if she likes me back?

You shouldn't be speaking to her without a good reason or benefit. In this case even if she likes you, are you able to get married?

[AhmedSon]

Umm.. were you supposed to answer the questions or you just wrote them so everyone could see?

[Asiyah3]

Umm.. were you supposed to answer the questions or you just wrote them so everyone could see?

Sorry, a technical error occurred. The moderators have fixed it now.

[AhmedSon]

I can see the post now!

You shouldn't be speaking to her without a good reason or benefit

I've never spoken to her and If I wanted to I would stammer. I meant that I catch my self staring at her!

In this case even if she likes you, are you able to get married?

She proablly dosnt like me, idk but I want her to, I guess I shouldn't worry any way because since i'm (Age < 16) I can't get married.

[Asiyah3]

I try to lower my gaze but sometimes I catch my self looking!

The first, unintentional look is allowed, the second is not.

[Scimitar]

Girls... HARAAAAM *waves finger*

*smiles*

*pats head*

Young bro, LOVE ALLAH first and foremost. Love the Prophet pbuh, but for your own sake - do not love a girl who is not yours to love... broken hearts make for emotional men, and our Ummah don't need that, we need roaring lions who know how to be MEN.

Scimi

[IbnAbdulHakim]

lol bro you got yourself in fitnah squared right there.



lower that gaze, keep that mind busy with Allaah.


Listen if it helps at all, Allaah made this girl, he can make better ;) let Allaah guide you to your wife when your ready.

[dqsunday]

It sounds like you are at the age where girls suddenly become interesting. Too young to marry but hormones aren't listening. Focus on lowering your gaze etc. When you see her in hallways etc look away or think about the 99 names of Allah, or recite a verse of the Qur'an. As you are 'feeling weird' when you see her, you are getting a physical reaction (aka desire) which you don't want to act on so turning your gaze away and your thoughts to Allah will help distract you from the physical.

If you want to meet her and see if there can be anything in the future between you, talk to your mother. She can talk to her mother (assuming the girl catching your eye is lawful for you (ie a Muslim or one of the People of the Book (but a pious one, not just in name only) and a meeting can be arange where you can talk to the girl, if she has any interest in getting to know you. Marriage isn't possible but could at least see if there is anything to base marriage on.

Given your age and all, I feel its just a temporary infatuation, in time it will fade especially once all these new hornomeos caused by puberty settle down some and you gain control over them.

[Abz2000]

The first, unintentional look is allowed, the second is not.

just make sure the first unintentional look isn't a few hours long :)
bro, i beg u don't talk to her in that way unless u think it's gonna go somewhere, otherwise ur just going around in circles of sin,
and if u try talking to her without any confidence, it's not likely she'll like u at all, women don't usually like men who are not in control,
again, i really liked bro ardianto's post,
if it's Allah's will for you two to unite one day, all good and Al hamdulillah.
if not, then He knows best, you won't benefit urself by stressing out about it.

and no, it's not a sin to feel an attraction to someone, Allah knows you cherish them in your hearts.
but it's definitely not easy to draw a line of what you should do and since you're that young, it's more than likely that it'll go down an avenue where you'll both lose out and draw the wrath of Allah on yourselves because you'll take a long time before you marry and it's easy to lose control when ur so close to each other physically.

best advice i can give is calm down, and see positive scenarios where you both might not end up getting together because it's not Allah's will, but if you're willing to take a step back and regain control of yourself, Allah will draw her to you in due time if that's His will or you'll find someone who you'll love more and will love u more, and her deen will be pleasing to you and to Allah.
and remember that ultimately it is Allah who controls the hearts.

Yusuf Ali:
There is no blame on you if ye make an offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts. Allah knows that ye cherish them in your hearts: But do not make a secret contract with them except in terms Honourable, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah Knoweth what is in your hearts, and take heed of Him; and know that Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.

Pickthal:
There is no sin for you in that which ye proclaim or hide in your minds concerning your troth with women. Allah knoweth that ye will remember them. But plight not your troth with women except by uttering a recognised form of words. And do not consummate the marriage until (the term) prescribed is run. Know that Allah knoweth what is in your minds, so beware of Him; and know that Allah is Forgiving, Clement.
Quran 2:235

[AhmedSon]

Thank You all for your advice. I will try to calm down and when ever I think of her I will start to recite Quran! I guess as you said this will fade away. I moved contries to XXXXX from Australia a year ago but when I came back for a Holiday (Currently) I saw her and this happened. But when I get to XXXXX I will forget about this.
Thanks to everyone for your great advice, This should help me a lot.
And who ever I marry make them a good wife Ameen.