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Nisha123
09-16-2012, 09:16 PM
Hi, my name is anishah, ive ot used these types of forums before and dont really know what kind of help is available. I am having a little difficulty I was hoping you could help me with. I am in love and InshaAllah hoping to get married however there is this one girl that keeps causing trouble between us. She is trying to take him away by offering to buy him things. Is there any type of dua or taweez or something that i can do to keep her away.
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~Zaria~
09-16-2012, 09:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Nisha123
Hi, my name is anishah, ive ot used these types of forums before and dont really know what kind of help is available. I am having a little difficulty I was hoping you could help me with. I am in love and InshaAllah hoping to get married however there is this one girl that keeps causing trouble between us. She is trying to take him away by offering to buy him things. Is there any type of dua or taweez or something that i can do to keep her away.

Assalamu-alaikum ukthi,

Please realise that the following:

I am in love and InshaAllah hoping to get married
is in contradiction to each other.

Falling in love should only occur within the confines of marriage.
Love outside of marriage can only occur through haraam means - in a manner that is incurring the displeasure of Allah (subhanawataála).

Why then, do we mention the 'will of Allah' if we are not even concerned about transgressing His commandments?

Please reflect on this.


Is there any type of dua or taweez or something that i can do to keep her away.
My sister, this should be the LAST thing on your mind.

Do you wish to ask Allah for assistance in a matter that is incurring His wrath?

Or are you seeking the means of jinn/ jadoo in removing this girl from the picture? - Which is also haraam.

My ukthi, focus your energies on your relationship with Allah.
Life is short and uncertain.
Should this be our final day in this dunya - what would be our position in the qabr and on the Day of Qiyamat?

Dont allow the temptations of a handsome face and sweet words, distance you from your Creator.

Is your love for a creation (who does not even belong to you in a halaal way) greater than that of your Creator?


:wa:
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Nisha123
09-16-2012, 09:57 PM
Our parents are aware and we are at the moment engaged. It is not something that we are doing anything behind there back.
I am not seeking means of jinn or jadoo as I know this is haram in Islam, but was aware that there are some thins available that could help.
Thank you for your advice.
Reply

~Zaria~
09-16-2012, 10:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Nisha123
Our parents are aware and we are at the moment engaged. It is not something that we are doing anything behind there back.
I am not seeking means of jinn or jadoo as I know this is haram in Islam, but was aware that there are some thins available that could help.
Thank you for your advice.
My sister, please understand that it is not possible to 'be in love' with another before marriage, if we are following the sunnah of our prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam).

If parents have knowledge of pre-marital relationships, and are satisfied - this does not imply that what we are doing is permissible or pleasurable to Allah.

Unfortunately, we have become so modernised nowadays, that even our elders are unable to provide us with the correct guidance in many matters.

May Allah guide us all, as He is the best of Guiders.
Ameen.
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جوري
09-16-2012, 10:48 PM
The Question do you trust him and does he love you and committed to this marriage? You can't cut someone's chest and implant love or faithfulness. I suspect acting funny around either of them would only fuel the situation. If he's a good person that it won't matter about this other girl. She'll be committing sin and you'll have gained reward both ways, one for being patient and the other by being with the one you want to be with.
I don't find jealousy in the way you describe a comfortable thing I wouldn't want to be with a person who wants to do 'ta3weez' to keep others away from me, it would undermine my personal wisdom, it would show lack of trust and deprive me of personal space.. try to think of things from his point of view as well. And if he's none of those things i.e wise, faithful and trustworthy then maybe you shouldn't be with him at all love or not?

fi aman illah
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جوري
09-16-2012, 10:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
it is not possible to 'be in love' with another before marriage,
I disagree with that statement and with calling it not following in sunnah. I have known many people who knew each other as children and grew up to marry one another out of love and were/are very good Muslims. Nothing un-Islamic about that. I am not going to get into the famous people of early Islamic society and their relationships.. I do agree however with the ills of having a pre-marital relationship and that not being consistent with Islam..

:w:
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Alpha Dude
09-16-2012, 10:52 PM
^ I think you're being a little unfair to the sister. If she is engaged to somebody then it is not unreasonable for her to have love toward him. It's a feeling of the heart and this is not haram in and of itself (unless accompanied by sinful behaviour).

She feels protective of him and wants advice on how to protect him from the snares of another woman.

Sister Anishah: make plenty of dua for guidance and protection of your husband to be and yourself, recite ayatul kursi and the 4 quls each thrice every morning and evening.
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CosmicPathos
09-16-2012, 10:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
snares of another woman.
:statisfie
aah the snares.
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جوري
09-16-2012, 11:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
If she is engaged to somebody then it is not unreasonable for her to have love toward him. It's a feeling of the heart and this is not haram in and of itself (unless accompanied by sinful behaviour).
I agree with this very much!


format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
She feels protective of him and wants advice on how to protect him from the snares of another woman.
This is questionable to me because mentions:
format_quote Originally Posted by Nisha123
taweez or something that i can do to keep her away
'taweez or something' I strongly reject that!
just the mere word carried me back to an age of ignorance and shirk. Plus if we put ourselves in the reverse situation we wouldn't like it. I wouldn't feel flattered if a would be significant other put 'taweez or something' to be honest I'd run and never look back!



format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
: make plenty of dua for guidance and protection of your husband to be and yourself
That's is definitely a kudos.
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جوري
09-16-2012, 11:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by CosmicPathos
:statisfie
aah the snares.
:haha: you seem to like to be baited or am I reading too much into that satisfied smiley?
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Alpha Dude
09-16-2012, 11:17 PM
'taweez or something' I strongly reject that!
just the mere word carried me back to an age of ignorance and shirk. Plus if we put ourselves in the reverse situation we wouldn't like it. I wouldn't feel flattered if a would be significant other put 'taweez or something' to be honest I'd run and never look back!
I think the sister is from the subcontinent and from that culture, people refer to things like rukya and dua etc as being 'tawiz' so I don't necessarily think she meant it from a bad perspective. She did say 'dua or tawiz' and not tawiz exclusively too.

I don't think her intention is malicious in any way... I'm sure as a woman you realise that when it comes to men, women can be 'fiesty' and won't tolerate other women taking their man away. :skeleton:

I think if she just made some sincere dua then InshaAllah it will all be okay. :)
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جوري
09-16-2012, 11:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
I'm sure as a woman you realise that when it comes to men, women can be 'fiesty' and won't tolerate other women taking their man away.
Generally I don't mind as I tend to get alot of migraines and I would find the whole thing amusing and highly entertaining :p
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Nisha123
09-16-2012, 11:40 PM
Thank you for understanding a little from my perspective.. And anything I have put I do not mean in a malicious way.
I'm just looking out for my future as I'm sure any one would do.
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~Zaria~
09-17-2012, 05:12 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
^ I think you're being a little unfair to the sister. If she is engaged to somebody then it is not unreasonable for her to have love toward him. It's a feeling of the heart and this is not haram in and of itself (unless accompanied by sinful behaviour).

She feels protective of him and wants advice on how to protect him from the snares of another woman.
Assalamu-alaikum,

Please advise how it would be possible to 'Be in Love' with a person before marriage.

One may have interest or an inclination to a person that they have been introduced to (with the intention of marriage) - this is not the same as 'being in love' <-- this occurs after spending alot of time with the opposite sex.

How would it be possible to read Istikhaarah (Prayer for Guidance from Allah), when ones heart is already filled with love for the other?
How would one be able to determine if a 'positive sign' is from Allah......or is it the feeling of ones heart?

Just something to think about insha Allah.
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Tyrion
09-17-2012, 05:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
Falling in love should only occur within the confines of marriage.
This is not true. You can fall in love through any number of means, and it's usually not up to you.
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~Zaria~
09-17-2012, 05:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Tyrion

This is not true. You can fall in love through any number of means, and it's usually not up to you.
I would love to hear more.
How does this one 'fall in love' whilst maintaining a halaal relationship pre-maritally?
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جوري
09-17-2012, 05:52 AM
You can lOve without a relationship no? Do you not love the prophets more intensely that your parents even?
Love is an emotion it's noble and pure - it doesn't come with strings attached or expectations or the desire even to extend it to something else. It's what it is an elusive feeling - with some folks it turns into sickness or sin but you can love secretly in your heart and not lust or act inappropriate!
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Alpha Dude
09-17-2012, 06:41 AM
Wa alaykum salam,

Zaria, from what I understand, istikhara essentially is a dua.

You'd be asking Allah to make things easy for you or turn you away from a matter, if you read the meaning. In which case, even if your heart is set on something already but if you make the dua sincerely, it should inshaAllah be of benefit.

"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."
Reply

~Zaria~
09-17-2012, 11:36 AM
Wa alaykum salam,

Zaria, from what I understand, istikhara essentially is a dua.

You'd be asking Allah to make things easy for you or turn you away from a matter, if you read the meaning. In which case, even if your heart is set on something already but if you make the dua sincerely, it should inshaAllah be of benefit.

"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

Yes, Alhamdulillah, istikhaara is a duaa that one makes, seeking guidance from Allah (subhanawatáala), with regards to what is permissible for us.

My point is: if there is already strong emotional attachment to a person, and THEN one asks Allah for His guidance in the matter (and for HIM to incline your heart one way or the other), how would one interpret it?

If you have a 'good feeling' or inclination towards that person after istikaarah is read - what would this mean?
The one who is already 'in love' will no doubt already have 'good feelings' about his/her beloved.
How would you know that this is a 'positive sign' from Allah.......or your own feelings about the person, that is clouding your interpretation of the istikharaah prayer?

Also, does Allah (subhanawataa'la) guide those who disregard His commandments and incur His displeasure in a matter......and then, at the last moment - decide to turn to HIM, and ask HIM for guidance?
Can life really work like this?
Just something to think about.


You can lOve without a relationship no? Do you not love the prophets more intensely that your parents even?
Love is an emotion it's noble and pure - it doesn't come with strings attached or expectations or the desire even to extend it to something else. It's what it is an elusive feeling - with some folks it turns into sickness or sin but you can love secretly in your heart and not lust or act inappropriate!
The love we feel for Allah, for His prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) and for our parents - should not be compared to the love that DEVELOPS for ones SPOUSE.

SubhanAllah, we love the prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) without having even met him - not only because we are commanded to do so..... but, how can we not love the one who is the most beloved to our Creator and who was sent to mankind as a mercy, and as our role-model?
Who loved his ummah so much?
Who spent nights standing in duaa, until his blessed ankles would swell .....for who? For US!

Please, lets not compare this love.......for that which is experienced pre-maritally.
They cannot compare.

Love is an emotion it's noble and pure
Yes, love can be noble and pure......if it is allowed to develop between husband and wife.
Not between 2 people - who have no right over each other.

My brothers and sisters who are desirous of marriage, and who would like to have the blessings of Allah over their union,

Do it in a way that is pleasing to Allah.

There is no need for prolonged periods of 'getting to know each other' (that often spans many months to years in some cases).
Brothers ideally should not even be approaching a muslimah directly if he desires to marry her.

(This is not always possible, esp. in the age of people making contact with each other via the net. But still too - a righteous woman would include all correspondence, even her emails, etc. that she has with the boy - with her walli. Anything is possible if we have the correct intention and make the correct effort.)

And then, seek guidance from Allah.
Not from your heart.

Of course you may have an 'inclination' or 'interest' or even like someone based on their character, etc.
But this is not love.......and should only develop into love once the nikkah is made, insha Allah.

Hope this is makes more sense, insha Allah.

:wa:
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Alpha Dude
09-17-2012, 12:59 PM
Assalamu Alaykum,

My point is: if there is already strong emotional attachment to a person, and THEN one asks Allah for His guidance in the matter (and for HIM to incline your heart one way or the other), how would one interpret it?
This is normal for any matter, not just for marriage. I could be heavily inclined to a job and make istikhara and if I was sincere, I'd hope that Allah would guide me away from it if it indeed were bad for me (as the dua says).

Also, does Allah (subhanawataa'la) guide those who disregard His commandments and incur His displeasure in a matter......and then, at the last moment - decide to turn to HIM, and ask HIM for guidance?
Can life really work like this?
Just something to think about.
You have made so many assumptions about the sister. It's not your place to do that. You should have husn al dhaan. Make excuses and have a good opinion of her instead of reaching to the worst conclusion.

You mention that she's turning to Allah at the last moment for guidance. Why do you say that? OP never mentioned anything to do with istikhara. For all we know, she might have been up all night praying for guidance for weeks on end after the guy proposed.

(This is not always possible, esp. in the age of people making contact with each other via the net. But still too - a righteous woman would include all correspondence, even her emails, etc. that she has with the boy - with her walli. Anything is possible if we have the correct intention and make the correct effort.)
I agree with this. A righteous woman would not get in touch with a boy without her wali being present. However, the OP has not given any specifics of any haram act that she might have done. Read her posts again. You are wrong to leap to conclusions. Note: What I'm trying to get across is that you should not automatically have negative thoughts and should try to make positive excuses. Even if it does turn out that she has been talking to him without mahram present (which she does not need to clarify for anyone as that is not the purpose of her thread nor is it anybody's business) it doesn't negate that you are wrong in attacking her for something that is ambiguous to you as an outsider without the full information.

InshaAllah she is doing everything she can to avoid anything haram and being in contact with the boy only under her mahram's supervision. She hasn't said otherwise in a clear fashion so we have no reason to lecture her on it. :)
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~Zaria~
09-17-2012, 01:25 PM
Akhee, the above post was not directed to the OP at all.

It is discussing this issue in general terms - as the concept of istikharaah has come into the discussion, as has the concept of 'love before marriage'.

I have not mentioned the OP in this post, and if it appears that as such - I do apologise.

The post is rather a reply to the comments that have been made in this thread.
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~Zaria~
09-17-2012, 01:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by منوة الخيال
I disagree with that statement and with calling it not following in sunnah. I have known many people who knew each other as children and grew up to marry one another out of love and were/are very good Muslims. Nothing un-Islamic about that. I am not going to get into the famous people of early Islamic society and their relationships.. I do agree however with the ills of having a pre-marital relationship and that not being consistent with Islam..

:w:
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
^ I think you're being a little unfair to the sister. If she is engaged to somebody then it is not unreasonable for her to have love toward him. It's a feeling of the heart and this is not haram in and of itself (unless accompanied by sinful behaviour).

She feels protective of him and wants advice on how to protect him from the snares of another woman.

Sister Anishah: make plenty of dua for guidance and protection of your husband to be and yourself, recite ayatul kursi and the 4 quls each thrice every morning and evening.

format_quote Originally Posted by Tyrion

This is not true. You can fall in love through any number of means, and it's usually not up to you.
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
Assalamu-alaikum,

Please advise how it would be possible to 'Be in Love' with a person before marriage.

One may have interest or an inclination to a person that they have been introduced to (with the intention of marriage) - this is not the same as 'being in love' <-- this occurs after spending alot of time with the opposite sex.

How would it be possible to read Istikhaarah (Prayer for Guidance from Allah), when ones heart is already filled with love for the other?
How would one be able to determine if a 'positive sign' is from Allah......or is it the feeling of ones heart?

Just something to think about insha Allah.

My previous post is in fact a response to all of the above.

I am still curious to know how it would be possible to 'fall in love' with another before marriage (from an islamic point of view)?
Reply

جوري
09-17-2012, 02:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
The love we feel for Allah, for His prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) and for our parents - should not be compared to the love that DEVELOPS for ones SPOUSE.
Again, you seem to confuse lust for love. You can love without the other stuff right? the feeling itself is a deep emotion not an action.
with a spouse you may or may not want to act on that love in the form you know. With Allah swt you act on the love by fulfilling his rituals and following his commandments with a sibling or a friend you may act on the love by being a good listener or gifting them or whatever. Loving and showing love in the appropriate mannerism for that situation are a different thing. When you make a du3a for a Muslim who requested that is a form of showing love toward them.. etc. etc. well you get what I am driving at..

I hope that clarifies in shaa Allah- I have done my best with accordance to my understanding so feel free to correct me

:w:
Reply

Alpha Dude
09-17-2012, 03:53 PM
I am still curious to know how it would be possible to 'fall in love' with another before marriage (from an islamic point of view)?
You see a guy at work who is a Muslim, prays on time, treats everybody with respect, is humble, caring etc and each day that passes the more you see of him, the more favourable he seems in your eyes. You have never talked to him directly. You don't case lustful gazes. Yet, you feel something that attracts you to him and his character. You have a certain amount of love for him.

Maybe your definition of love is more involved but the above is how I would consider it. Nothing more deep and philosophical than that. You have this feeling and love in your heart but don't do anything haram based on it. How can a person have sinned in such a case?
Reply

Insaanah
09-17-2012, 06:27 PM
:sl:

I think the confusion arises from what we define as love, the usage most prominent being that as we know it in movies and books, going out on dates, meeting secretly etc. In short, empty physical and sexual attraction, and relationships between the sexes that are not sanctioned by sharee'ah. Love is a beautiful word, but unfortunately has been hijacked to denote wrong and immoral behaviour, whereas the word should be used correctly.

[عَنْ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رضي الله عنهما قَالَ : قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : ( لَمْ نَرَ لِلْمُتَحَابَّيْنِ مِثْلَ النِّكَاحِ ) [ رواه ابن ماجة 1847 وقال البوصيري : رجاله ثقات ، وإسناده صحيح

It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for two who love one another than marriage.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847. al-Busayri said: Its men are thiqaat and its isnaad is saheeh.

أَخْبَرَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ بْنِ أَبِي رِزْمَةَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا حَفْصُ بْنُ غِيَاثٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا عَاصِمٌ، عَنْ بَكْرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الْمُزَنِيِّ، عَنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ بْنِ شُعْبَةَ، قَالَ خَطَبْتُ امْرَأَةً عَلَى عَهْدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ أَنَظَرْتَ إِلَيْهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ لاَ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَانْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّهُ أَجْدَرُ أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Narrated Al-Mughirah bin Shu'bah:
It was narrated that Al-Mughirah bin Shu'bah said: "I proposed marriage to a woman during the time of the Messenger of Allah, and the Prophet said: 'Have you seen her?' I said: 'No.' He said: 'Look at her, for that is more likely to engender love between the two of you.'" (Sahih)

Sunan an-Nasa'i > The Book of Marriage English reference: Vol. 4, Book 26, Hadith 3237, Arabic reference: Book 26, Hadith 3248

حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَاحِدِ بْنُ زِيَادٍ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ دَاوُدَ بْنِ حُصَيْنٍ، عَنْ وَاقِدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، - يَعْنِي ابْنَ سَعْدِ بْنِ مُعَاذٍ - عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ إِذَا خَطَبَ أَحَدُكُمُ الْمَرْأَةَ فَإِنِ اسْتَطَاعَ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إِلَى مَا يَدْعُوهُ إِلَى نِكَاحِهَا فَلْيَفْعَلْ ‏"‏

Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah:

The Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: "When one of you asks for a woman in marriage, and he can see what of her will attract him to marry her, he should do so."

Sunan Abi Dawud English reference: Book 11, Hadith 2077, Arabic reference: Book 12, Hadith 2082
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~Zaria~
09-17-2012, 09:52 PM
#Im having problems opening page2, hence the quotes appear a bit disjointed. Maaf.#

format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
The love we feel for Allah, for His prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) and for our parents - should not be compared to the love that DEVELOPS for ones SPOUSE.

format_quote Originally Posted by منوة الخيال

Again, you seem to confuse lust for love. You can love without the other stuff right? the feeling itself is a deep emotion not an action.
with a spouse you may or may not want to act on that love in the form you know. With Allah swt you act on the love by fulfilling his rituals and following his commandments with a sibling or a friend you may act on the love by being a good listener or gifting them or whatever. Loving and showing love in the appropriate mannerism for that situation are a different thing. When you make a du3a for a Muslim who requested that is a form of showing love toward them.. etc. etc. well you get what I am driving at..

I hope that clarifies in shaa Allah- I have done my best with accordance to my understanding so feel free to correct me

:w:
Assalamu-alaikum,

I speak of love ukthi. There is no reference to lust in my previous statements.

You see a guy at work who is a Muslim, prays on time, treats everybody with respect, is humble, caring etc and each day that passes the more you see of him, the more favourable he seems in your eyes. You have never talked to him directly. You don't case lustful gazes. Yet, you feel something that attracts you to him and his character. You have a certain amount of love for him.

Maybe your definition of love is more involved but the above is how I would consider it. Nothing more deep and philosophical than that. You have this feeling and love in your heart but don't do anything haram based on it. How can a person have sinned in such a case?
There is no sin in this case, MashaAllah.
If only more cases of marriage were initiated in this manner.

As I have mentioned:

Of course you may have an 'inclination' or 'interest' or even like someone based on their character, etc.
But this is not love.......and should only develop into love once the nikkah is made, insha Allah.
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Scimitar
09-17-2012, 10:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Nisha123
Is there any type of dua or taweez or something that i can do to keep her away.
Yes, but that would negate your Islam... you really wanna do that?

All taweez, talismans etc - are haraam. End of. Anyone who uses these has committed shirk. Bottom line. If you need further proof, I can provide it.

My advise - recognise that it is not love you are feeling, but infatuation. Dangerous emotion that one... makes you feel unsure of a lot of things. Like this other woman... see my point?

Real love provides security, not the opposite sister.

i suggest you re-collect your emotive content within and address it properly - so you may know whether you are acting out of infatuation or genuine concern.
As for the other girl, you confronted her yet? Told her you are engaged to him? Have you spoke to your fiance about this?

or was you just looking for a quick fix to the problem and hoping that some Muslims would tell you it is OK to have taweez :D because we won't do that...

Scimi
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