Wa alaykum salam,
Zaria, from what I understand, istikhara essentially is a dua
You'd be asking Allah to make things easy for you or turn you away from a matter, if you read the meaning. In which case, even if your heart is set on something already but if you make the dua sincerely, it should inshaAllah be of benefit.
"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."
Yes, Alhamdulillah, istikhaara is a duaa that one makes, seeking guidance from Allah (subhanawatáala), with regards to what is permissible for us.
My point is: if there is already strong emotional attachment to a person, and THEN one asks Allah for His guidance in the matter (and for HIM to incline your heart one way or the other), how would one interpret it?
If you have a 'good feeling' or inclination towards that person after istikaarah is read - what would this mean?
The one who is already 'in love'
will no doubt already have 'good feelings' about his/her beloved.
How would you know that this is a 'positive sign' from Allah.......or your own feelings about the person, that is clouding your interpretation of the istikharaah prayer?
Also, does Allah (subhanawataa'la) guide those who disregard His commandments and incur His displeasure in a matter......and then, at the last moment - decide to turn to HIM, and ask HIM for guidance?
Can life really work like this?
Just something to think about.
You can lOve without a relationship no? Do you not love the prophets more intensely that your parents even?
Love is an emotion it's noble and pure - it doesn't come with strings attached or expectations or the desire even to extend it to something else. It's what it is an elusive feeling - with some folks it turns into sickness or sin but you can love secretly in your heart and not lust or act inappropriate!
The love we feel for Allah, for His prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) and for our parents - should not be compared to the love that DEVELOPS for ones SPOUSE.
SubhanAllah, we love the prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) without having even met him - not only because we are commanded to do so..... but, how can we not love the one who is the most beloved
to our Creator and who was sent to mankind as a mercy, and as our role-model?
Who loved his ummah so much?
Who spent nights standing in duaa, until his blessed ankles would swell .....for who? For US!
Please, lets not compare this love.......for that which is experienced pre-maritally.
They cannot compare.
Love is an emotion it's noble and pure
Yes, love can be noble and pure......if it is allowed to develop between husband and wife.
Not between 2 people - who have no right over each other.
My brothers and sisters who are desirous of marriage, and who would like to have the blessings of Allah over their union,
Do it in a way that is pleasing to Allah.
There is no need for prolonged periods of 'getting to know each other' (that often spans many months to years in some cases).
should not even be approaching a muslimah directly if he desires to marry her.
(This is not always possible, esp. in the age of people making contact with each other via the net. But still too - a righteous woman would include all correspondence, even her emails, etc. that she has with the boy - with her walli. Anything is possible if we have the correct intention
and make the correct effort.)
And then, seek guidance from Allah
Not from your heart
Of course you may have an 'inclination' or 'interest' or even like someone based on their character, etc.
But this is not love.......and should only develop into love once the nikkah is made, insha Allah.
Hope this is makes more sense, insha Allah.