Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,
Firstly, dear sister, I congratulate you on coming to Islam, al hamdulillah. :statisfie
The good news is that feeling bad about missing salat is a sign that you have iman. It's when that doesn't happen then we really are in trouble.
Islam recognizes human weaknesses and has made concessions accordingly. For example, a traveler's prayer is shorter so as not to add to his burdens. I hope for your ease you know which units of prayers aren't compulsory. If you aren't sure please ask and we will be glad to help you insha Allah.
I, myself suffered from depression for many years. To be honest I don't know when it stopped except that the more I lost myself in Islam, and forced myself to pray, the more my depression eased. At first I offered only the obligatory prayers if nothing else and hoped that one day I'd be able to pray my full salat. It took time but today by the grace and mercy of Allah subhana wa ta 'ala, I am praying more than just my obligatory salats and have no sign of depression anymore. If I ever feel myself slipping, or my iman getting weak I know by know that increasing myself in repentance and dhikr will keep me on track al hamdulillah.
Sadly the very thing that cures depression (worship) is the one that has become difficult for you. No one can pray for anyone else hun, so it is going to take your own efforts to do it. Allah knows His creation better than anyone else and He is Most Patient, Kind, Loving and Merciful and never in His Kingdom will the efforts of a believer be wasted. He knows we are weak, and gifted us with repentance so that He may forgive our sins. That means dear sister that we must try our very best to fulfill His Commands, and where we fail we must repent and hope for His forgiveness and mercy, and ask for His help to remove the difficulties we are facing, but always keep trying.
I found a ruling for those who suffer with depression and find salah difficult. I hope it helps and I ask Allah, The Lord of The Magnificent Throne to cure you until there is no trace of illness left and bless you wth a healthy mind and body and the strongest of iman. Ameen.
From Islamqa
Question: My daughter is suffering from a mental illness (depression) and last Ramadaan she did not fast because she had suffered a relapse and was not fully aware of what was going on around here. I have been suffering with her for many months. What should I do?
My second question is: when this girl goes to sleep, I cannot wake her up for any prayer until she wakes up by herself because of the difficulties that I have with her. Is there any sin on the mother?
This girl is 23 years old and has been ill for 4 years. She suffers a relapse twice a year. Please pray for her to be healed.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: We ask Allaah, may He be exalted, to heal your daughter and set her affairs straight. Secondly:
If this illness is so severe that she loses consciousness during the day in Ramadaan, then she does not have to make up the days that she has missed, because she is not obliged to fast in that case.
But if the illness is only depression, and she remains conscious, then there are two scenarios:
(i) Her sickness is one from which there is hope of recovery according to the doctors, in which case she has to make up the days that she missed when the sickness ends. (ii) Her sickness is one from which there is no hope of recovery, in which case she is not obliged to fast, rather she should feed one poor person for each day.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: There was a sick person who was not sick for part of Ramadaan, then he lost consciousness and he is still unconscious. Should his sons make up the fasts on his behalf?
He replied:
He does not have to make up the fasts if he has lost his mind or has fallen unconscious. When he regains consciousness he does not have to make up those days. His case is like that of an insane or feeble-minded person, who does not have to make up missed fasts. But if his unconsciousness lasted only briefly, for one to two days, or three at the most, then there is nothing wrong with making up the missed fasts in order to be on the safe side. But if it lasted for longer, then he is like a feeble-minded person, and he does not have to make them up. If Allaah restores his sanity then he may resume his duties. End quote from Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz (15/209).
Thirdly: If your daughter does not wake up to perform the prayers on time, and you cannot wake her up, there is no sin on you in sha Allaah. When she wakes up she has to make up the prayers that she has missed, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever forgets a prayer or sleeps and misses it, the expiation is to offer it when he remembers it.” Narrated by Muslim, 684.
But if it is too difficult for her to offer every prayer on time, then she may join Zuhr and ‘Asr, and Maghrib and ‘Isha’, at the time of the earlier or later prayer, depending on whatever is easier for her. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Shortening the prayers may be done only when travelling, and it is not permissible when not travelling. But joining prayers may be done in cases of need and excuses. If a person needs to, he may join prayers when travelling, whether the journey is long or short, and prayers may be joined in the case of rain and the like, and in the case of sickness, and for other reasons. The point is that the ummah be spared hardship. End quote from Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 22/293. And Allaah knows best.