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anonymous
12-05-2012, 08:45 PM
:sl:,

I feel so sad and down nowadays because my family struggle with the economy. My father is the only one who works and supports 9 other people in the house. I procrastinate A LOT in my university studies(I think I am computer addicted) which lead to that I failed some classes. There is A LOT of pressure for me to succed university.

My family(except me, my big brother and father) lived overseas for 2,5 years so that my younger siblings could learn the deen. But with that came a lot of debt which is a burden upon my father. He always complained about it before they came back and I felt sorry for my father. I always try to be optimistic and happy, but it is hard to hold up this face.

Sorry for my bad english. I am finish so I cant write good english.
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جوري
12-05-2012, 11:09 PM
May Allah swt reward your father for his patience and hard work. Many people are hit by the hard economy even people who are very well educated. My mom's friend son who is an ivy league graduate has been laid off his job and is out of work for a year now with a wife and child on the way, there are so many stories like this one.. Allah swt asks us to show good patience in hard times and in shaa Allah he'll reward our endurance and patience. Even though sometimes it seems delayed or even a reward that might be given in the hereafter and not this life - you shouldn't feel bad for your dad for that won't help him any.. what you do need to do is stop feeling down because that's when Shaitaan gets to us and make yourself a schedule and stick with it. You must study everyday and do your best with the intention of helping out and in shaa Allah, Allah swt will help you out. You must also supplement your hard work with du3a and cut down on the activities you enjoy as a sort of reward say if you do two hours straight of studying you can have twenty minutes to goof off on the computer..

can you imagine if the organs Allah swt bestowed you decided they don't want to do all the hard work anymore and need a little break? Your heart wants a break or kidneys want a break.. it would be a disaster but Allah swt doesn't ask us to do what he commands of everything else in the universe which is to fulfill its role.. which is exactly why so many things will be a witness against us on the day of judgement.. so it is best to try to fulfill your duties and at the same time take time to relax and reflect so you're not overwhelmed but sitting about lamenting and feeling bad won't do anyone any good..

and Allah swt knows best

:w:
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'Abd-al Latif
12-05-2012, 11:56 PM
:salamext:

You're doing something in excess (in this case going to the computer a lot) as an escape. You are probably thinking that filling your father's shoes and doing what needs to be done is too heavy a burden and that you'd rather just avoid it completely.

As difficult as this sounds, you need to face the demands of your life and fulfil them. The way you do that is by breaking everything down in smaller chunks and then fulfilling these chucks depending on what's more important first, thus slowly easing into your ultimate goal.

If you are at uni and you need to study, and you also need to help relieve your father of his burdens, then work parttime and as well give yourself sufficient time to study and rest. This way you can divide a share of money between your father and for yourself, fulfilling two goals at once.

You focus on uni by writing down the final goal for each module. Then for each module you break down the required tasks (because university gives you the goals to fulfil, you just have to arrive at that goal) and then set a time each week to fulfil a certain amount of work before your due-in date. When you focus on one piece of work, push all other matters of your mind – especially the thoughts about other courseworks. If you allow yourself to think of other matters (whether these matters are family, about other courseworks or whatever) then you will not be able to concentrate.

As an example, if you have four courseworks in total to submit by, say, three weeks then spend around 2-3 hours a day per module (or longer if needed) and take breaks inbetween to rest and relax. Spend an entire day focusing on just one module (or more if you need it) and do the same for the other modules in the other days of the week. This way you'll get all your work done and you'll also have plenty of time to relax and have fun.

This is how you break your work down into chunks. If you look at all your problems as one massive block of concrete that you have to carry on your shoulders then you'll just want to give up and quit. Breaking things down makes them easier to do.

You must not become lazy, you must not give up and you must not avoid problems. You must also stop spending time in areas that will not help you overcome your problems, like spending too much time on the computer or too much time with friends.

Finally, you must understand that Allah wants for you paradise. Whenever Allah gives you hardship, He will soon give you ease afterwards but you must first trust Him and then make an effort to remove the hardship you face by your own efforts. The above-mentioned is but one of the ways that you can try to make your life easier with the help of Allah. Allah may have given you a lot of burdens but He has also given you shoulders that are strong enough to carry – and even defeat – these burdens. You must also ask Allah a lot to relieve you of your difficulties and to give you money and to provide you with the help that you need in your life right now. If Allah does not ease your difficulties then no-one will, so you need to ask Him until you get what you want. Pray on time, do what Allah has told you to do and do what you have to do in your life and do not procrastinate.

And Allah knows best.
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Muslim Woman
12-06-2012, 04:40 AM
:sl:



Certainly no one despairs of Allahs Mercy, except the people who disbelieve."
( سورة يوسف , Yusuf, Chapter #12, Verse #87)
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