What to do before rukhsati?

[Bint-e-Adam]

Salam.
a girl has done nikah with a cousin,
and he has forbidden her from going outside. and many other things etc.
i want to simply ask a question,
is it neccessary for a girl to tell every thing to her husband.
or she can do what her parents order?or what is not bad in islam?
as she is not in her husband's home.
so is it possible to hide anything that causes fight between the wife and husband?
is it permissible? in Islam?
to hide anything what she has done due to the order of her parents and then she is repenting .and dont wanting to tell it to his husband that it might cause a huge and enourmour fight between them?
pls guide me the main point.
is it permissible to hide a such type oof thing that cause fight between wife and husband and mainly that thing is not bad in islam as only going outside home for taking her medicine due to order of her parents. also she has done only nikah. pls... reply fast.

[Muhaba]

She can go out for necessity and also to the masjid. a man can't stop a woman from going to the masjid whether she is in his house or not. there is a specific hadith about that, so a woman can go to the masjid. a man also can't stop his wife from meeting relatives such as father, mother, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, neice, nephew, grandparents, etc as that would be breaking the ties of kinship and the one who breaks the ties of kinship will not enter jannah. there is a hadith about that. a man should also not place such restrictions or burden on his wife that is so unbearable that she will ask for khula divorce. A man should give his wife a normal life. He shouldn't tell her not to leave the house or not to have any visitors, etc. These things are necessary for a normal life. He also shouldn't make her life a torture. Telling a woman not to leave the house ever is a terrible thing and i think only the savagemost ignorant people do that!

how much does a woman have to obey her husband after nikah , before rukhsati, i do not know. But I think he shouldn't be forbidding her from a normal life as that would only harm her in the longrun. Ask an imam whether it is his right to tell you not to go anywhere and whether you should obey while you're still in your parents house as I don't know. maybe you could compromise. If he's worried for your safety, he shouldn't stop you from going with your parents or siblings as there is nothing wrong with that.

speak to him on the matter. don't suffer in silence. also, it's best to instruct a man on the woman's rights. if you can get a good book showing the wife's rights give it to your husband as a gift. i've seen on man change completely toward his wife when he learned of the wife's rights.

[Bint-e-Adam]

what is its name?

[Muhaba]

The book is in arabic but i have its name written somehwere. When i locate it, i'll post it. also there's a good article on IB about women's rights. search for it.

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[Bint-e-Adam]

Okay akhte,,,
pls any one else tell me and guide me

[Signor]

I would suggest this for rights and responsibilities of Husband and Wife on each other

http://www.banglakitab.com/EnglishLi...qiUsmaniDB.pdf

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


sis , sorry to know about ur problem . In sha Allah , I will look for a fatwa .

I want to say something else . U 2 did not even start ur conjugal life and already facing such problems . So , time to think about ur future life seriously . If he is so dominant , so jealous type that he does not want u to go outside home without his permission , then it may create more problems later .

So , talk to him : why he does not want u go outside ? His mother , sisters ( if any ) , do they go out or always stay at res ?

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:


fatwa :

Salam-waley-Kum When a wife is in her parents home - is she bound to inform or take permission from husband for any of her activities - like joining classes to learn cooking/computers/etc, roaming out with family members, start a job ?.....


Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad

is His slave and Messenger.

If a wife is under her husband’s guardianship and he sufficiently spends on her, then she is obliged to seek his permission if she wants to go out, whether this is to learn computer, or learn cooking or for walking around with her family. If she goes out without his permission then she is sinful but we are not aware of any specific punishment for this; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83157

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...waId&Id=116281

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

Salam.

...
so is it possible to hide anything that causes fight between the wife and husband?
is it permissible? in Islam?
.

sis , u may learn a technique from this ans .


Hiding information about salary from husband

Question

I am asking about hiding something from my husband. I told my husband about half the salary that I earn



..It is not necessary that the husband knows what his wife owns of money. She has the right to conceal it partially or completely from him, especially if there is a benefit behind doing so. The wife, however, may not tell lies on her husband, rather she may resort to equivocation, that is to say something, using an ambiguous kind of language, to make him understand something else.

She may say, for example: "this is all what I have of money", meaning what she currently has inside her home, while she has, in fact, additional money outside her home. It is to be taken into consideration that such a style of language (equivocation or double entendre) is never to be used if it leads to the denial or abolishment of the right and the establishment of the wrong.

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...twaId&Id=86272

[Endymion]

I want to say something else . U 2 did not even start ur conjugal life and already facing such problems . So , time to think about ur future life seriously . If he is so dominant , so jealous type that he does not want u to go outside home without his permission , then it may create more problems later .

So , talk to him : why he does not want u go outside ? His mother , sisters ( if any ) , do they go out or always stay at res ?

I second that ^o)

[Bint-e-Adam]

:sl:


fatwa :

Salam-waley-Kum When a wife is in her parents home - is she bound to inform or take permission from husband for any of her activities - like joining classes to learn cooking/computers/etc, roaming out with family members, start a job ?.....


Answer




All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad

is His slave and Messenger.

If a wife is under her husband’s guardianship and he sufficiently spends on her, then she is obliged to seek his permission if she wants to go out, whether this is to learn computer, or learn cooking or for walking around with her family. If she goes out without his permission then she is sinful but we are not aware of any specific punishment for this; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83157

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...waId&Id=116281

but what if hsuband dont even want to listen on your bore topics of women rights?

[Ali_008]

:wasalamex

^^^ Boring topic??? Following what Allah has prescribed for all of humanity is boring for a Muslim? Rasoolullah :saws: did not forget to mention kindness to women even in his last sermon, just shows how important treating women kindly really is.

Sister, I know you had made a thread earlier as well discussing the same problem. Ask yourself that would you like to live under such restrictions for the rest of your life? More importantly, is your husband a practicing Muslim, or someone just born in a Muslim family?

If he's not into Islam and implementing the principles, I say get rid of him. Good riddance. Your rukhsati hasn't even taken place yet, so you won't even have to observe the iddat period. Offer Isteqara prayer, ya Allah, guide the sister to what's better for her, and bless the way for her. Ameen.

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


sis , remind ur hubby about this hadith .

The Prophet pbuh said:

"The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife"

Hadith - Muslim, #3466

[Bint-e-Adam]

as Muslim woman has said:

If a wife is under her husband’s guardianship and he sufficiently spends on her

then in such circumstances when a husband do not spend on his wife even a single penny. then whatdoes Islam says? in such condition too , a wife has to seek permission before going outside or do anything? or all that faraiz that are on a wife after reception/rukhsati ? pls do guide in the light of Islam?

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

We need to stop posting generic fatwa for specific scenarios. Do you realize her situation might have a number of variables and this generic fatwa doesn't cover them?

:sl:


fatwa :

Salam-waley-Kum When a wife is in her parents home - is she bound to inform or take permission from husband for any of her activities - like joining classes to learn cooking/computers/etc, roaming out with family members, start a job ?.....


Answer




All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad

is His slave and Messenger.

If a wife is under her husband’s guardianship and he sufficiently spends on her, then she is obliged to seek his permission if she wants to go out, whether this is to learn computer, or learn cooking or for walking around with her family. If she goes out without his permission then she is sinful but we are not aware of any specific punishment for this; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83157

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...waId&Id=116281