format_quote Originally Posted by
seeking_hidayat
Assalam o Alaikum
i want to ask an important quesiton again. pls do guide me.
Husband and wife got Nikah and wife is not rukhsat to her husband's home. she is living in her parets home. Husband is not giving money or any monthly pocket money to his wife.wife is totally under her parents money.
i have two question under such situation.
1.) is it neccessary for a wife to ask permission to go out of her parent;s home.
he is your husband, even if it wasn't necessary, ask him just to please him. [as he should also seek to please you]
2.) Is it neccessary to tell evert thing about her daily routine. that what did she do where did she go whole day?or where did her parents take her with them to any relatives or friends home etc.
he is your husband, you should want to share with him.
my husband asks me to tell my every thing to him. as where did i go or did.
so many possible responses to this. see below
and when i tell him every thing truly then his mood got off. and he fights with me so much. and if i do not tell him then i am afraid that if i will hide anything then he will not trust me ever as he has said already that if i will hide anything then he will not trust me ever or simply give me tallaq. pls guide me.
trust is better.
pls my focus is here on these two questions.
i am happy with him. pls dont focus on the issue of the husband's mentalility,etc
i only want answer about the two questions. pls guide me well. what Islam Says?
:sl:
Respected Sister,
it is difficult for someone to respond, given the info and caution provided. my advice would be to seek the advice of the Imam who did the nikkah. that is assuming he knows both of you.
we only know what you tell us, we know neither of you. that leaves too many unknown factors, for instance:
You you don't like being "interrogated". do you give this away by your demeanor, either in words or attitudes? even a hesitancy to respond can give you away.
why do you go out so much? visit family on Jummuah. study for your Din and future marriage and children the rest of the time.
Him is he just that type of guy? is he controlling? jealous? insecure?
is he busy working hard to build a home for you?
you see, we are ignorant of the situation.
Maybe he just loves you?
Maybe he thinks you waste too much time?
Maybe he expects better answers?
imagine two different conversations:
1st: Husband calls. You, "as Salaamu Alaykum Honey, guess what i did today? Auntie wanted me to come visit so she could teach me that chicken recipe that you love. Alhamdulillah, i talked her into coming over here instead. i did great! it was yummy! then Fatimah called and wanted me to come over to learn some Ayats with her. i told her about the great chicken i made and she came over here to try it instead! she liked the chicken, but said her mom's is better. we learned 4 ayats, Alhamdulillah. how was your day and what did you do?"
2nd Husband calls. You, "What?" Husband, "Salam Sister, what did you do today?" You, "Why?" and you proceed to tell him a bunch of stuff he doesn't want to hear. guess how
this conversation goes?
perception, perception, perception! a nice sharing conversation or one where he feels like he has to drag stuff out of you.
as for fiqh, what madhab are you? perhaps, in shaa Allah, SaneFellow can give you a good rundown on it.
there are a lot of factors to consider.
May Allah make it easy on you and guides us all to the straight way.
ma salaama