How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

[nature]

How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??


A while ago a sister mentioned reading a hadith which stated a married woman who even quenches her husband's thirst earns so much reward, I know theres great reward in *looking after a husband* etc so how can singletons get equal rewards apart from the obvious salah, charity etc. Also has anyone else heard of this hadith ? Im unable to locate it or find any reference to its authenticity ? as is the sister that mentioned it to me.




For the more *mature single sisters* out there or those sisters whom marriage is no longer an option or not happening as soon as they would like, i would like to ask how do you plan to fill your life and the time you have ?? Married sisters after weddings, usually look forward to the new home, starting a family, travelling etc, and their lifes are mapped out as soon as they've done the nikkah but what about the rest of the singletons ? how can we earn equal rewards firstly and secondly how can you have a life, esp if you've no mehram ? as it seems to be the only way women can have one is to have a husband hanging off their arms, be it either to raise a family, (even if adopting) go travelling or even doing pilgrimage ??

[cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn]

Marriage is half our deen for a reason sister. As any single person would do (be it men or women as they both get more reward when married, not just the women) just try your best to do good. Help the needy, the old, spend your time in the cause of Allah, and have the intention to marry, even if mature. My dad is single, and insha Allah if he becomes muslim I'd like to see him married off again, and of course it will be to a mature lady around his age. I say that to emphasize that, the idea should not be dropped and one should not give up that hope of marrying.ever.

Allah knows our hearts, so even if one never gets to marry the intention is there and Allah is the most compassionate and most merciful. For the time being, as I said, spend your time in the cause of Allah, improve your imaan there's ALWAYS room for improvement.

- cOsMiC

[Perseveranze]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Allah(سبحانه و تعالى) will judge your deeds based on your context, your actions and so on. If you genuinely can't get married, then I'm sure there's many good deeds you can do that don't require marriage, which will weigh heavy on the scales on the day of judgement.

Marriage is half our deen for a reason sister.

^Asalaamu Alaikum,

Just wanted to mention something about this, because I've seen it a lot.

The Hadith "Marriage is half our deen" is considered da'if by most Hadith fuqahah due to weak chains in the narration. I know Al-Albani considered it hasan li ghayrihi, but that was just about due to multiple chains (but all have weaknesses in them); I personally would not rely on it if most scholars have concluded the hadith is weak.

This is a stronger/more reliable version of that hadith (which is mawquf);

The Prophet(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) said: "Whoever is blessed with marrying a pious woman then he was given the blessing of having one who helps him in his deen..." [Tabarani and Byahaqi]

Also keep in mind that some great scholars didn't get married; it would be wrong to say they left "half their deen incomplete", when they achieved more in their short lives (deen-wise) than most could in 100 life times.

Having said that, the actual hukm of the other hadith can still apply, because it is basically stressing importance of marriage, which is very true.

[CosmicPathos]

^^ good point. also the "smile, its a sunnah" part has become irksome. Prophet also cried, wept. That's also sunnah.

Ppl just love to twist Islam to their own whims and desires and what they expect of others.

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[IbnAbdulHakim]

what comes to mind is that it is not easy being married regardless of the reward.


whilst single I would do everything I can to prepare myself for all eventualities


Get yourself physically/spiritually/mentally capable and learn everything you need to know.

then milk the marriage for all its hereafter benefits !


perhaps that intention itself will give you the reward :)

[Periwinkle18]

also the "smile, its a sunnah" part has become irksome. Prophet also cried, wept. That's also sunnah.

True but even though he went through so much he was the one who smiled alot. i guess thats y ppl say "smile, its a sunnah"

[Jedi_Mindset]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Allah(سبحانه و تعالى) will judge your deeds based on your context, your actions and so on. If you genuinely can't get married, then I'm sure there's many good deeds you can do that don't require marriage, which will weigh heavy on the scales on the day of judgement.



^Asalaamu Alaikum,

Just wanted to mention something about this, because I've seen it a lot.

The Hadith "Marriage is half our deen" is considered da'if by most Hadith fuqahah due to weak chains in the narration. I know Al-Albani considered it hasan li ghayrihi, but that was just about due to multiple chains (but all have weaknesses in them); I personally would not rely on it if most scholars have concluded the hadith is weak.

This is a stronger/more reliable version of that hadith (which is mawquf);

The Prophet(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) said: "Whoever is blessed with marrying a pious woman then he was given the blessing of having one who helps him in his deen..." [Tabarani and Byahaqi]

Also keep in mind that some great scholars didn't get married; it would be wrong to say they left "half their deen incomplete", when they achieved more in their short lives (deen-wise) than most could in 100 life times.

Having said that, the actual hukm of the other hadith can still apply, because it is basically stressing importance of marriage, which is very true.

Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

True, but being married have actually alot of positives. I mean you can support each other regarding knowledge, and help each other to tackle struggles.

And being married also allows you to have many kids, and this keeps the community strong, this keeps the fertility rate in the ummah high. So its safe to say despite the hadeeth being weak, that it has also some sense of truth in it, look we have given a brain you know?

I dont see being married as a obligation but i see it as a high supriority. It also prevents you from falling into sins like zina. When a group of people decide not to marry and not have children, then in a short time they wipe themselves out. look the fertility rate in europe is very low, the common western family has only one or 2 children, while the muslim families here have minimal 4 children if not more. Hence islam is growing in the west despite their will to prevent it. And western people dont want to marry anymore, a very big mistake only i can say.

Look at the first part of this small docu:

[cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Allah(سبحانه و تعالى) will judge your deeds based on your context, your actions and so on. If you genuinely can't get married, then I'm sure there's many good deeds you can do that don't require marriage, which will weigh heavy on the scales on the day of judgement.



^Asalaamu Alaikum,

Just wanted to mention something about this, because I've seen it a lot.

The Hadith "Marriage is half our deen" is considered da'if by most Hadith fuqahah due to weak chains in the narration. I know Al-Albani considered it hasan li ghayrihi, but that was just about due to multiple chains (but all have weaknesses in them); I personally would not rely on it if most scholars have concluded the hadith is weak.

This is a stronger/more reliable version of that hadith (which is mawquf);

The Prophet(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) said: "Whoever is blessed with marrying a pious woman then he was given the blessing of having one who helps him in his deen..." [Tabarani and Byahaqi]

Also keep in mind that some great scholars didn't get married; it would be wrong to say they left "half their deen incomplete", when they achieved more in their short lives (deen-wise) than most could in 100 life times.

Having said that, the actual hukm of the other hadith can still apply, because it is basically stressing importance of marriage, which is very true.

Interesting.

I said marriage is half our deen, because men and women complete each other, it isn't just based on hadith alone. You can observe this simply by looking at society and how it works, not only is there stronger hadith to back this up, but a reflection on life should suffice for one to understand the importance of marriage. There's also a hadith "Marriage is my Sunnah, whoever disregards my (sunnah) path is not from among us" - Ibn Majah (sahih). I'd like to note that to follow Sunnah is not an obligation, it is something we do based on understanding.

Are you a hadith scholar to be singling out "weak hadith"? and how one should use them or refer to them? Do you know how hadith work in conjunction and why they are classified the way they are?

Also, please name me the scholars who didn't get married. Just curious, I never really looked into that. :)

Jazaak Allah Khair

- cOsMiC

[جوري]

Also, please name me the scholars who didn't get married. Just curious, I never really looked into that.

:sl:
ibn taymiah and imam Nawawi are two that I know of that never got married.. & Allah :swt: knows best.


Question:

Why did not Shaykh Al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah get married?

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger, may Allah exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

We do not know why Shaykh Al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allaah have mercy on him, did not get married. He is not the only scholar who did not get married. There is a group of scholars who did not get married for one reason or another. Some scholars have even edited a book entitled 'Al-'Ulamaa' Al-'Uzzaab' (The Single Scholars) in which a great number of scholars are mentioned. Anyway we think good of them and we try to find excuses for them. It might be that each of them had a reason that no one knows, and so on. It is known, however, that Shaykh Al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, was imprisoned many times, again and again, so this could be one of the reasons which prevented him from getting married.
Allah knows best.




Fatawa Issuing Body : Islam Web
Author/Scholar : Dr. Abdullah Al-faqih
Date Of Issue : 07 Ramadan 1425
:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

even Shah Jalal Al-Yemeni who turned all of my country into Bangladesh, the man by whos destiny Allah has blessed Bangladesh with Islam did not marry.


I recall reading a saying of a sahabi who said that even if he was to die the next day he would marry.

I think the sahabi is Abdullah Ibn Masud but my memory may not be correct.


Unless we reach the high spiritual state of those who mastered themselves I dont think we should have the courage of not fulfilling the sunnah. Not everyone has the same capacity

[جوري]

It isn't a question of capacity, marriage isn't just about fulfilling some animal lust.. Many variables play into that formula and no I am not advocating being single I am pointing out the fact that it isn't as easy as all that - a Cinderella story of boy meets girl!

[Signor]

when they achieved more in their short lives (deen-wise) than most could in 100 life times.

Does anyone of these would be greater than Muhammad(PBUH) who did Nikah,certainly not.No Waliullah/Sheikh/Scholor can be compared to what Prophet(Saaws) did,HE IS THE ULTIMATE PARAMETER from where we are getting our DEEN from.Its the individuals who didn't marry for their own reasons.

the actual hukm of the other hadith can still apply

what does this mean by "still apply"?Its an order till the world remains

[IbnAbdulHakim]

It isn't a question of capacity, marriage isn't just about fulfilling some animal lust.. Many variables play into that formula and no I am not advocating being single I am pointing out the fact that it isn't as easy as all that - a Cinderella story of boy meets girl!

i meant not everyone can cope with being single. I am well aware that marriage is far more then fulfilling animal lust - believe me I have read that those who are truelly in control rarely have intercourse and have the healthiest babies.


you control yourself before and you are NOT meant to let yourself go after !

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Really? I know this is true but it kinda shook me coming from a Brother...

makes me wonder just what you think of brothers lol

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

Wifehood and Motherhood are Not the Only Ways to Paradise:
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationsh...s-to-paradise/

[Perseveranze]

السلام عليكم

Interesting.

I said marriage is half our deen, because men and women complete each other, it isn't just based on hadith alone. You can observe this simply by looking at society and how it works, not only is there stronger hadith to back this up, but a reflection on life should suffice for one to understand the importance of marriage. There's also a hadith "Marriage is my Sunnah, whoever disregards my (sunnah) path is not from among us" - Ibn Majah (sahih). I'd like to note that to follow Sunnah is not an obligation, it is something we do based on understanding.

That's fine, but I see that statement so often and it's derived from that hadith. Too many people take it literally, or they actually consider it an "established statement of the Prophet(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)" and so I had to clear that misconception.

Are you a hadith scholar to be singling out "weak hadith"? and how one should use them or refer to them? Do you know how hadith work in conjunction and why they are classified the way they are?

Sis, I never "graded" any hadith, never have - even if I know a hadith is weak from the chain, I don't grade it, as you stated I'm not qualified to. For example, the "satanic verses" hadith, I can tell by looking at the names in its chain (and the fact that the chain is also broken) that something is up with the hadith, but I can't personally consider it fabricated/weak (like hadith fuqahah can) as I'm not qualified to. I even stated in my post;

The Hadith "Marriage is half our deen" is considered da'if by most Hadith fuqahah due to weak chains in the narration.

Fuqahah = Scholar. Some of these are named further below.

And yes, I know how hadith gradings/classifications work. There's some good books etc. if you want to learn more about this field then I can recommend you some stuff. It's an interesting subject.

Any ways, this can give you an understanding of weak hadiths - http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-385-3623.htm

The basic principle is that it's not allowed to be used in giving fiqh rulings ie. You won't ever see (or shouldn't see) a fatwa quoting weak hadiths as they're not considered authentic. But their meaning (in terms of promoting good deeds) may still be accepted, (based on other stronger/authentic hadiths with near enough the same message) ie. that hadith above stresses the importance of marriage, which may be acceptable.

Also, please name me the scholars who didn't get married. Just curious, I never really looked into that. :)

Jazaak Allah Khair

- cOsMiC

From what I read, some of these scholars were so engrossed in seeking knowledge (ie. they would travel far lands just to learn more), that they just didn't have the time to get married. They would also feel getting married would be a distraction to their work, or they may have felt that they be doing them injustice if they were so pre-occuppied with learning.

The above could be one reason, but other reasons, such as I read with Imam Nawawi - he was considered poor. So you can imagine, maybe he felt that he wouldn't be able to fulfill his wife's basic rights etc.

Allahu Allam.

Does anyone of these would be greater than Muhammad(PBUH) who did Nikah,certainly not.No Waliullah/Sheikh/Scholor can be compared to what Prophet(Saaws) did,HE IS THE ULTIMATE PARAMETER from where we are getting our DEEN from.Its the individuals who didn't marry for their own reasons.

I'm kind of wondering how you possibly got the Prophet(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) into this, both taking my quote within context, and even outside of context? Re-read my post again (both within context, and outside it);

Also keep in mind that some great scholars didn't get married; it would be wrong to say they left "half their deen incomplete", when they achieved more in their short lives (deen-wise) than most could in 100 life times.

what does this mean by "still apply"?Its an order till the world remains

As I've explained to you above, the hadith is weak (as graded by so many scholars such as ibn al-Jawzi, ibn al-Mulaqqin, ibn Hajar and so on), so it cannot be an "order" in the same sense you're understanding it. You can't use weak hadith to make fiqh rulings, nor should you really say it's an "established statement of the Prophet".

When I said "hukm", it means that the meaning of the hadith, in that it's stressing the importance of marriage, still holds weight, because this is nothing new as we know from other hadiths, that marriage is indeed important.

But it's wrong to say (based on the hadith) that marriage is half of Islam and that if you don't get married, then half of Islam has not been fulfilled.

[ardianto]

Fuqahah = Scholar. Some of these are named further below.

Fuqaha is plural of Faqih. Faqih is scholar of Fiqh, not scholar of hadith.

Ilm Hadith is science that 'research' hadith. Ilm Fiqh is science to make guidance what Muslims should do, what Muslims should not do. Hadith is one source for Fiqh.

[Perseveranze]

Fuqaha is plural of Faqih. Faqih is scholar of Fiqh, not scholar of hadith.

Ilm Hadith is science that 'research' hadith. Ilm Fiqh is science to make guidance what Muslims should do, what Muslims should not do. Hadith is one source for Fiqh.

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I'm talking about a set of hadith scholars (who are also muhaddith's) that considered the hadith da'if, the missing "s" that you quote is a mistype.

As for sciences, not all scholars of Fiqh specialise in hadith sciences; not all are considered experts as the likes of Ibn Hajar, Jalal al-Din al-Suyuti, Imam Shafi'i etc.

You have scholars (faqih) who specialise in certain fields, be it Shariah, tafsir, hadith etc. as Islam is extremely vast. That's why I said; "Hadith Fuqaha", as I'm specifically referring to those who specialise in the sciences. Hope that clears it up Insha'allah.

[Signor]

@Perseveranze

Probably,I misunderstood your words,when you came up with those words

Also keep in mind that some great scholars didn't get married; it would be wrong to say they left "half their deen incomplete", when they achieved more in their short lives (deen-wise) than most could in 100 life times.

Its very much gives me a feeling that you are putting them over by saying whats they have done relating to deen is right.Can you clarify what do you mean?

I don't have an issue regarding authentication of Hadith.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

For the more *mature single sisters* out there or those sisters whom marriage is no longer an option or not happening as soon as they would like, i would like to ask how do you plan to fill your life and the time you have ?? Married sisters after weddings, usually look forward to the new home, starting a family, travelling etc, and their lifes are mapped out as soon as they've done the nikkah but what about the rest of the singletons ? how can we earn equal rewards firstly and secondly how can you have a life, esp if you've no mehram ? as it seems to be the only way women can have one is to have a husband hanging off their arms, be it either to raise a family, (even if adopting) go travelling or even doing pilgrimage ??

I've lived both sides, as in being single and now married. I'll tell you personally before marriage, I had my life planned out without a husband in mind. My plans consisted of guiding my family and friends towards Islam more; being more respectful to my parents; planning to go to hajj by saving it up for it with no doors open for me to go except through making du'a and having the strong intent to complete it one day, whether it be with my parents, my grandfather, or a group of female friends; finishing school with a PhD; learning different languages so that I may travel one day; and perfecting my personal imaan. Whenever I prayed, I never prayed to be marrying a specific person as many girls do because they become infatuated with one person, but rather I used to pray that Allah send me someone who will complete my iman, just as I'd complete his, and who will love me for all of my imperfections but will help me strive to become the absolute best I could be, and if it is better for my deen to be single then may allah guide me to what is best and protect me from any fitnah. I made this du'a often even after I prayed istikhara, was engaged and in love, and thought I would be wedding my fiance (which believe it or not, did not work out) and 6 months later after going our separate ways, literally feels like a gift from Allah, I was sent someone much better in regards to deen, who completes me in every way, and makes me so happy and whom I now cannot see my life without Alhemdulilah.

You can do so much without being married, and if you're stable like this, you will make a great wife in my opinion. The reason I say this is because you can rely a lot on yourself to become a better person without the reliance on someone else. That might not make sense for a second, but what I mean is that kind of strength is necessary in marriage because when you are married, your mood, emotions, and passion with your husband are connected in a way that is unexplainable by the will of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. If he falls short in something, you have to help pick him up. If he is upset or sad, you learn how to make him happy again. You have to be his inspiration to better himself vice versa, while not changing yourself for the worse if something does go wrong in the marriage because naturally it is very easy to become depressed or angry if the husband gets angry or upset, or to even become disrespectful if he becomes disrespectful. So you have to have your own strength so that you don't succumb to these levels and know that you still can busy yourself with many things to keep your mind off of unhappy thoughts.

Ultimately though, if you are blessed with a good person, having a husband feels more like having a best friend, except there is a greater responsibility because you have committed to this person for the rest of your life and he has rights over you and is someone you must obey. Therefore I suggest those who plan on getting married for the sake of their iman should know what kind of obligations their potential husbands require of them to do and vice versa.

On the other hand, I've seen marriages where people stay together but it is very unhealthy and unhappy, especially marriages that are solely based on lust and the rush of getting married to save themselves from fitnah, because marriage is not all sexual as most people assume. The best way I could put it is after a desire is fulfilled, what qualities are you left with that would make you a great spouse?

Islam is the complete submission to Allah, and as long as you can find ways to keep yourself busy with following Islam, regardless of who is in your life at the time (whether family, husband, friends), then Allah will reward you accordingly. I think you can be happy and follow the deen and get plenty of rewards without being married, but if you are happily married with someone who is on the same path as you, it will just further help you along in your life because you will have someone to remind you to be better. On the other hand, I also think unhealthy relationships cause people to sin and it may be better for them to be single again and just concentrate on their iman because of the injustices they cause to each other. If one spouse feels unhappy, but is patient, respectful, and puts on a happy face for the sake of the relationship, then I'm sure allah will reward that person for that patience. At the end of the day, your reward is with Allah and only he can weigh it.

Live your life the way you feel is best for your iman while at the same time make du'a to allah that He will guide you to what He knows is best for your imam and would yield the greatest reward, and often the greatest rewards rely in hard struggles and not in a perfect, easy life.

For some people, marriage is not always the answer.


fi aman allah
w'salaam

[*charisma*]

Wa iyaki. (:

I always believe there will be a struggle in everything, and the reason for that is so that we don't get too attached to dunyaa. I also believe happiness is temporary and is a blessing from allah when you feel it, but contentment is by our choice depending on what we choose to do in life.

There are some nice, pious brothers who want to get married and they work hard to preserve their chastity and busy themselves with good, and same for the sisters too, and still it is difficult for them to find a good spouse. I think this in itself will bring a great reward from Allah for their patience and perseverance. Just the same, those who are kindest to their spouse after a few years of marriage and knowing each other's routines are also tested by how they continue to treat each other after some feelings may change (due to whatever reason). In regards to the youth, young pious mu'mineen will be rewarded with the shade of allah on the day of judgement for taking advantage of their youth instead of messing around, which is very difficult to do! I pray that everyone who seeks to perfect their iman while they are healthy and young will be protected with Allah's shade on the day of qiyama and be rewarded with much more ameen. In regards to the married couples, Allah says:

“and live with them (wives) honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]

and the prophet muhammed (sallahu alahi wasalaam) said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (I heard in a lecture that the reason he said wives is because it is very easy to get mistreat the person you live with and constantly see every single day, you may even fall out of love with them, so if you can treat this person well, then you are one of the best).

May allah increase the kindess and love between married couples, and increase His mercy upon them ameen

Sorry I feel I posted to much lol.

fi aman allah
w'salaam

[nature]

:sl:

First of all jzk for all the replies, but ive not really got an answer for my question. ? Having intention is all good and well but sometimes a person needs to be realistic as well but anyway, but apart from the obvious things that we all as muslims shud do charity/learning/worship etc, how does an unmarried woman lead a normal life ?? If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ?? Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ?? If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ? why ?? Im asking the sisters this question. How do you lead a normal life & have the same things a married woman can have minus the husband ?? i.e. adopt a child etc.

[Qurratul Ayn]

I recall reading a saying of a sahabi who said that even if he was to die the next day he would marry.

I think the sahabi is Abdullah Ibn Masud but my memory may not be correct.

"If I had ten days left to live and I knew I would die by the end of them, and I had enough time to get married, I would get married for fear of temptation (Fitnah)"

'Abdullah bin Mas'ud :ra:

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum


Sorry I guess many misunderstood your question in the beginning.

how does an unmarried woman lead a normal life ?? If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ??

Go with your family, brother, father, a group of trusted girlfriends or female cousins. Why feel tied to your home? You still have a lot of options. If you can't find a halal way then home is better than travelling alone and you should be content with that because that is what pleases Allah most.

Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ??

There's many cases where women go out alone and that's the last time their family sees them. You can find ways to watch or listen to lectures online, or like I mentioned before, go with a group of girls or a close family member.

If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ? why ??

I don't know about other muslim countries' rulings in regards to adoption, but adoption itself is something you should read more into as there are Islamic rulings to this regardless of what a country allows or disallows.

Why do you feel you have to do everything alone, especially unsafe things like coming home really late at night, or travelling on a holiday? This is unsafe for women generally, not only because you are a muslim.

fi aman allah
w'salaam

[Alpha Dude]

:sl:

How can single women get the same rewards as those married

Marriage has its own rewards, just like hajj, salah, fasting etc. have their own.

To my knowledge there isn't anything mentioned in the hadith or Qur'aan about unmarried people being able to gain the same reward as married ones (e.g. as in the same way certain actions are worth the reward of Hajj).

However, actions are by intention. If you intend to get married and never lose hope, trust in Allah and try your best to achieve it then inshaAllah there will be some level of reward gained.

If you feel you will never get married then you need to trust in Allah more.

If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ?? Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ?? If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ?

Not going on holiday if you don't have a mahram, not going to a lecture even though it's an Islamic one due to absence of mahram, situations like these are a chance for you to gain reward as you'd be following the Islamic law. If you went anyway, you'd be earning sin (regardless of whether it's an Islamic lecture etc.). It's kind of like the rule of women not being able to pray during their time of the month. If you follow that rule, regardless of how much you desire to pray, you'd be gaining reward (and sin, if you do the reverse).

[~Zaria~]

:sl:

First of all jzk for all the replies, but ive not really got an answer for my question. ? Having intention is all good and well but sometimes a person needs to be realistic as well but anyway, but apart from the obvious things that we all as muslims shud do charity/learning/worship etc, how does an unmarried woman lead a normal life ?? If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ?? Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ?? If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ? why ?? Im asking the sisters this question. How do you lead a normal life & have the same things a married woman can have minus the husband ?? i.e. adopt a child etc.

Wa-aalikumsalam,

Sister, Allah (subhanawat'aala) has created us, having to face different trials in our lives. Some are tested in their health, some in wealth, others in loss of freedom, lives and many other types of difficulties.

If, for whatever reason, you are unable to marry (despite your desire to do so), then my sister, view this as a test from Allah Taa'la.
As well as the challenges you may face, whilst journeying on alone....

It may be, that you will not be able to travel beyond the permissible distances (without a mahram).
Perhaps it may not be possible for you to undertake hajj/ umrah as a result.
It may also be such, that it is not possible for you to adopt a child (depending on where you reside - based on the rules of that country).

Sister, these are all means of Allah azza wajjal testing you - he places certain hardships/ difficulties in our lives, to try us and see who from among his servants will bear these trials with patience and implicit trust in Him.

Allah Taa'la ONLY desires good for His creation.
If we believe and internalise this completely, then we will never doubt that His plan for our lives is ALWAYS the best plan.

And if we intend to live our lives, solely for the pleasure of Allah, then the 'sacrifices' (which are truly, not really sacrifices) that we make in this temporary abode become so much easier to endure.

When we realise that travelling for certain distances, will be going against the commands of our Rabb, and will be causing His displeasure......then we will not even consider embarking on such a trip, no matter the reason or our own desires.

For most muslims, abstaining from alcohol/ pork, etc is very easy.
Because we realise that these actions are haraam and will encur the displeasure of Allah (subhana wata'ala).

In the same way, we should treat all other commands of Allah and His messenger (sallalahu alaihi wasalam).

Because, His pleasure should precede our own desires and nafs.
His pleasure should be OUR pleasure.
And His displeasure should be OUR displeasure.


May Allah azza wajjal make this period in your life, easy on you. And may it be the means of you turning to Him, seeking from His endless treasures.
Ameen

:wa:

[nature]

Assalamu Alaikum


There's many cases where women go out alone and that's the last time their family sees them. You can find ways to watch or listen to lectures online, or like I mentioned before, go with a group of girls or a close family member.
Why do you feel you have to do everything alone, especially unsafe things like coming home really late at night, or travelling on a holiday? This is unsafe for women generally, not only because you are a muslim.

My sister, Im sorry, living in fear isnt a feasible option either! If you lived life like that, you wouldnt do anything. Fearing you might not come back home one day, isnt a way to live your life. Im just asking a general question, back in the day, women werent allowed to travel however its not the same these days. Women have to work, if you feared going out how would you provide for yourself ? Why is going on holiday unsafe ? yes you can do everything from the comforts of your own home, but does that mean you have to stay chained to your home ? I dont think so, thats why women have hijab. Suffocating yourself within your home, for fear of "something bad happening " Im sorry i just dont get.

[nature]

Wa-aalikumsalam,

When we realise that travelling for certain distances, will be going against the commands of our Rabb, and will be causing His displeasure......then we will not even consider embarking on such a trip, no matter the reason or our own desires.
For most muslims, abstaining from alcohol/ pork, etc is very easy.
Because we realise that these actions are haraam and will encur the displeasure of Allah (subhana wata'ala).

Im aware of all this, but it seems "being chained to your home " is the only option for single sisters. Im not talking about following desires, more having the same as what married folk have but within halal means. Going to a lecture, where you can assocaite with other sisters, going on a bus to get there i honestly cant see anything wrong with it, esp as travelling alone isnt like it was back in the day. Just cos a person doesnt have a butch bloke attached to their arm, doesnt mean they cant " have a life " also within halal means.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

My sister, Im sorry, living in fear isnt a feasible option either! If you lived life like that, you wouldnt do anything. Fearing you might not come back home one day, isnt a way to live your life. Im just asking a general question, back in the day, women werent allowed to travel however its not the same these days. Women have to work, if you feared going out how would you provide for yourself ? Why is going on holiday unsafe ? yes you can do everything from the comforts of your own home, but does that mean you have to stay chained to your home ? I dont think so, thats why women have hijab. Suffocating yourself within your home, for fear of "something bad happening " Im sorry i just dont get.

It's not about living in fear, it's about being cautious and protecting yourself. It's possible to go out alone and not have anything bad happen to you, but it's not Islamic to do so. You don't have to do everything late at night or alone. I don't even know how you can see this as being "chained" when there are more things you can do when you're not alone and during the day or evening lol. Even if you're married, there's going to be times where your husband is not going to be available to take you wherever/whenever you want to go or be with you 24/7. If he says you can't go somewhere or do something, you have to obey him. So the reality doesn't differ either way, it's your mentality and attitude towards this that you need to reflect more upon. Instead of looking at the one option that would displease Allah, why not look at the options where you will reach your goal in a halal manner?

I hardly ever felt like I was "chained" before marriage. If I was out late or went far, I always had someone with me, always had my phone on me, always made sure my parents knew where I was going and when they should expect me back home, and would call them before I left and on my way home. And I preferred it this way because it was more fun to be out with someone, made my parents trust me and not worry if I was out too late, and no one ever bothered me, but maybe my personal circumstances differed from yours. I could have went out and did whatever I wanted alone and my parents wouldn't have minded, but I didn't because I never felt the need to, and if they told me I couldn't go out and do something, I was ok with it. It was never a big deal to me.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[Paprika]

most married people don't see it this way, to most marriage is a burden:hmm:

[*charisma*]

most married people don't see it this way, to most marriage is a burden:hmm:

I wouldn't use the word "burden" :P but good point.

Marriage has more responsibilities, especially on the woman because she becomes a wife and has to take care of her husband, and then a mother if she has children. She might not even have time for herself and most definitely won't always be able to travel far or stay out late and enjoy it.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[Paprika]

I wouldn't use the word "burden" :P but good point.

Marriage has more responsibilities, especially on the woman because she becomes a wife and has to take care of her husband, and then a mother if she has children. She might not even have time for herself and most definitely won't always be able to travel far or stay out late and enjoy it.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

Prolly, but if I was not married I would have been a beach bum....:awesome:

[Muhaba]

single women have more time to do other good deeds such as da'wah work, community service, even earning rizq halal. they can fast a lot and pray all night. or they can learn the deen and teach others. they can study the Quran and do hifz. there are lots of ways for single sisters to earn rewards. even patience for not being married will earn us rewards.
on the other hand, married sisters' hands are tied caring for the husband and children, doing housework, not being to do much during pregnancy, etc. ahadith such as the one quoted show the rewards we can earn in each stage in life. Every good deed we do will earn us rewards and refraining from bad deeds also earn us rewards. These ahadith keep us from feeling left out at any stage in our life since each stage is very precious and important. for example, the married sister and mothers may not be able to pray or fast as much, may not be able to go to the masjid as much, may not be able to do da'wah work as much. Part of her time is occupied caring for her husband, taking care of her children, pregnancy, in-laws, etc. Such a sister may feel that she is deprived of rewards while the single sister can earn so much more rewards. For the married sister there are then ahadith such as (a woman getting up in the middle of the night to take care of her baby gets the reward of freeing 70 slaves) etc. So upon hearing such ahadith, the married sister won't feel left out. nor will the unmarried / single sister feel left out because she has time to do so much islamic work and community work, earn halal rizq, care for her parents, etc. All these earn her rewards.

The important thing is to use your time and abilities in righteous deeds and refrain from wasting time. if a sister (or brother) married or unmarried spends time watching TV and listening to music instead of learning and teach the religion, raise their children secular or nonpracticing instead of practicing muslims, they earn sins instead of rewards. So try to fill your time with good deeds and there are plenty of ways whether you are married or not.