format_quote Originally Posted by
*charisma*
Assalamu Alaikum
I've learned as long as the subject of marriage feels awkward and you're still nervous to discuss it and things like that, you're not ready for marriage yet, because when you're ready, you just start having a different mentality, you actually become a bit excited because you feel mature enough to take on this responsibility. You may even feel like you don't want to get married at all later on. I also believe when your parents see that you are capable of taking care of someone else, they will start trying to marry you off ;D I think with girls it's different though because parent's get sensitive about them, they'd rather keep them as long as possible, and also usually the guy is the one who asks for the girl's hand in marriage, so the girl just has to wait until someone suitable comes along, no work needs to be done there. It will be something that will come easy and naturally for both you and your parents when Allah opens that door for you.
Personally in my family, we used to talk about marriage all the time, like just in general. My siblings and I would also make little jokes about what kind of person we'd probably end up with. If it got to the real serious stuff though, it would just naturally get embarrassing and make us feel shy. Now that we are all older, it's something that's normal to talk about.
fi aman Allah
w'salaam
To be honest with you sister I have been thinking quite a bit about marriage. It seems exciting and the thought of finding your partner for life is amazing. I would love to get married, but I'm sure you have heard this a billion times, I need to complete my uni studies, help my family out and find a stable job.
True I agree with you, my sis is 'ancient', and still unmarried, however my parents have brought the issue of marriage up with my older bro who isn't that much elder than me.
I actually have a sister in a mind, and so too does the sister. She was the one who brought this up with me and said that look I am interested in marriage, but only after yourself and I have completed our studies and have gained a job. Ever since that, I have been so excited about marriage.
I guess yeah it will come natural, but as I mentioned in the OP, once I do start talking about marriage then it will be a bit strange. The thing is apparently I have a 'baby face' so people mistaken me to be younger... lol
Ah yeah my family do talk about marriage, but its mostly critisicing other people and talking about the extremes in our family lol, however I don't partake in such discussions... Maybe once I do start involving myself, maybe that will be a hint to the parents.
Yeah true, I would be so shy and awkward telling my parents that look I have a sister in mind. I have actually like created that scenario in my head, my imaging myself opening up to my parents. I walk in the room, take a deep breath and let it all out, 'I have a sister in mind, this is her name, this is where she is from, this is the house number, phone them, find out about them, get to know them and tell me what you think". So basically be straight forward, however that will be the longest discussion of my life, interrogated by my parents...
Ahhh.... Allah make it easy for us.