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Lena
01-06-2013, 09:18 AM
Assalam alaykum,

I am in a really bad place in my life, I feel extremely unhappy , frustrated and "lost". This is the case for 2 years now. I feel I am not moving on. Im also very attached to my parents, my family. This is holding me back in being a muslim. (i am a convert, in my late twenties) Ok this was some background. Now I got the idea to save up some money quick , and go away for few months, backpacking, try to learn to be independent, getting to know other people, strangers, just ; "throw myself in the deep end". Its not as if i have anything to lose really. So now my question is; what would be a good (cheap) muslim country to go to? I think I could do a short Arabic or Islamic course as well. What is safe? What country would offer cheap hostels? Any ideas?

Another reason for this idea is that I want to get married, and I dont know how to find a husband anymore. So I also secretly hope , wish and pray that I find my soulmate on this trip. I guess I want to ask ; where are the good muslim men hide themselves?And how would i meet them?
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Lena
01-12-2013, 04:46 PM
ok.. thanks for nothing.
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-12-2013, 04:53 PM
assalamu alaikum sorry i missed this



Hmm I dont know where is a good place for you to go.

But making a new start is such a brave step may Allah help you.


I would ask an islamic leader / spiritual guide to help you.


where are you from? do you know any muslim personalities locally?
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Lena
01-12-2013, 05:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
assalamu alaikum sorry i missed this



Hmm I dont know where is a good place for you to go.

But making a new start is such a brave step may Allah help you.


I would ask an islamic leader / spiritual guide to help you.


where are you from? do you know any muslim personalities locally?
Thank you for your answer. No i dont know any muslim personalities locally. I live in a small town in a small country.. :) I dont know an Islamic leader or spiritual guide.. But I was just thinking ; maybe here are some muslims familiar with "islamic" countries. I was thinking to go to Malaysia but I dont know in how far this really is an Islamic ****ry where I would meet muslims.
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Lena
01-12-2013, 05:06 PM
country.
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Muhaba
01-12-2013, 05:47 PM
Malaysia is a good country and has lots of Muslims. There are also Arabic and Islamic courses there. When I was studying in Syria, there were lots of Malaysians (and some Indonesians) there studying as well. They had learned advanced Arabic in Malaysia and surprised us all with their arabic and their Quran tajweed. The malaysians would come to our institute, join the 5 or 6th level (the last two levels) and finish the course in no time while the rest of us had to join the course at the beginning. Also, the malaysians would get ijaza in Quran (Quran Tajweed recitation certification which allows you to teach Quran tajweed as well) sometimes in just two weeks! That was how good they wre and it was because their background was so good. However I don't know whether everyone can study in Malaysia or did the malaysians learn arabic / tajweed as part of their school curriculum and foreigners can't study thre? You'll have to ask around, maybe look for islamic institutes/arabic institutes in Malaysia.

Malaysia is an expensive country. I believe it is safe but I don't know how safe it is for a woman to go there alone. I also dont know about the condition of cheap hotels. It might not always be safe for a woman to go to cheap hotels in foreign countries as in some places a lot of them are brothels. but i cannot say whether that is true for malaysia or not.

i don't recommend going anywhere alone without knowing firsthand anyone trustible there. I would suggest you find Islamic centers in cities in your own country go there and see if you can meet other Muslim sisters, join any courses, etc. That is also a good way to find someone to marry. When you meet other muslim sisters, you can tell them you are a convert, that you want to learn Arabic and Islam, and that you are interested in marrying a pious Muslim. However beware of people with extremest or heretic ideology as those kind are dangerous. Just stay away from them. they only mean trouble.

You can also find online courses. One good place is the online university of Bilal Phillips. There is also Taha book publishers, http://www.tahapublishers.com where you can get Islamic books.
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Signor
01-12-2013, 06:31 PM
Waalikum Assalaam

I don't know what you are facing there in person but if your parents and family is not holding you for offering the fundamentals of Islamic faith,its better to stay there.You seems to be living under the shell of your beloved ones,so it will be lot difficult to face the brightness and shine when you eventually comes out.Worrying about a potential life partner is a natural thing,perhaps you can solve it by trying to involve yourself into good Muslimahs gathering(maybe one amongst them finds you her soon to be sister-in-law) and offcourse we all know Dua is the weapon of believer.

All the best
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~Zaria~
01-12-2013, 07:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Lena
Assalam alaykum,

I am in a really bad place in my life, I feel extremely unhappy , frustrated and "lost". This is the case for 2 years now. I feel I am not moving on. Im also very attached to my parents, my family. This is holding me back in being a muslim. (i am a convert, in my late twenties) Ok this was some background. Now I got the idea to save up some money quick , and go away for few months, backpacking, try to learn to be independent, getting to know other people, strangers, just ; "throw myself in the deep end". Its not as if i have anything to lose really. So now my question is; what would be a good (cheap) muslim country to go to? I think I could do a short Arabic or Islamic course as well. What is safe? What country would offer cheap hostels? Any ideas?

Another reason for this idea is that I want to get married, and I dont know how to find a husband anymore. So I also secretly hope , wish and pray that I find my soulmate on this trip. I guess I want to ask ; where are the good muslim men hide themselves?And how would i meet them?

Wa-alaikumsalam sister,

Welcome to IB and to the beautiful religion of Islam : )

JazakAllah khayrun for our query.

Im not sure where you are from, but I think you should try your best to look for a masjid that is closest to you, or an islamic school/ madressah or muslims residing in your area - insha Allah, they would be able to help you network with other sisters in your community as well as direct you towards islamic classes that would be of benefit to you.

As much as the thought of travelling is very appealing, please realise that from an islamic point of view it is not permissible for a female to travel alone, without being in the company of a mahram (her husband/ brother or father). There are certain limitations on the distances that a female is permitted to travel by herself, which vary between madhab (schools of interpretation). For example, for those who follow the Hanafi school of thought, the limit is 48 miles/ 78km.
It would be advisable for you to contact your local imam to advise you further with regards to this insha Allah.

This may appear difficult to implement, or this may cause you some heart-ache at the thought of not being able to travel alone - but, Alhamdulillah, do not forget the wisdom behind each and every command of Allah Taa'la.

From a safety point of view, it is not advisable for women to be travelling far distances alone - esp. entering a foreign country, without any family support, etc.

So, insha Allah, look around your local community first with regards to your above needs.

And remember, that when Allah (subhanawataƔla) sees His servants supressing their own desires/ wants JUST for His pleasure and from fear of transgressing His commands - He will bless you with EVEN more.

Place your trust in Him (as well as make your effort within permissible limits) - and Allah will open all sorts of doors for you, insha Allah.
Allah is able to do ALL things - so dont ever doubt this.....even if you are stranded on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere : )

May Allah azza wajjal grant you the best of husbands, who will remind you of our beloved Nabi (sallalahu alaihi wasalam) in his way of life, and keep you steadfast on His deen.
Ameen.


:wa:
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Muhaba
01-13-2013, 07:48 AM
^It's true that a woman is not allowed to travel alone and that is for her own safety. Even in todays modern civilized world (actually more today than before)mthere are cases of women being trapped and forced into prostitution, etc. Human trafficking is also a big problem today.
However, a woman can do hijra (migration to an Islamic country alone). But she should take caution and avoid cheap places. She should research the place well, etc.
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