Dissatisfaction in Life

[Zeeshan15]

Assalamu Alaikum Brothers and Sisters, I facing a few problems.
1. The major on in Satisfaction to my soul, I don't know why what ever i do I don't feel satisfied. let it be materialistic satisfaction it only lasts for few mins days thats it. Even if i do to someone allah(swt) knows it better but i don't feel that satisfaction deep inside. How much ever i try to keep my self happy and satisfied I feel like there is something missing in my life. I don't understand this.

2. Few years back I used to have a lot of anger, which my parents always told to have control over it, now a days I'm at such a plays where I don't get anger at all. Even if someone abuses me or talks bad about me I simply smile I don't understand why I do it. I hardly get anger but sometimes I get irritated. In one word Patience has increased so much that I feel like i have no emotions these days. When I try to cry I don't get tears, my heart wants to cry but something stops me.

3. Career- I don't know whats happening with me these years, What ever i want to do I'm stopped by something I don't understand if it is good or bad which is stopping me. I feel lack of confidence in my self. Sometimes I feel like im incomplete my mind goes blank. Suppose Im talking to someone I don't understand what Im talking I talking nonsense/meanings.

4. About offering Salah I do offer namaz but i miss them sometimes, I get out of the track and then after a week or so again i start. What i want to say is I cant continue my routine of offering namaz. Some times I feel lonely, I dont feel like going out, I don't feel like doing anything. Before I used to ask my parents what I wanted but now things are different I dnt like anything nor I ask for anything. I hard like something these days. Please Help me.

[Zeeshan15]

Can anyone answer?

[Qurratul Ayn]

:wasalamex

Sounds like depression but it may not be so.

Go to the Masjid,speak to the Imam, attend lectures, listen to Qur'aan recitations, read the Qur'aan, and read your Salaah. Just read it, be strong and Insha'Allaah you shall get past this phase or whatever it is

Always make Du'a. Always

Hope it helps

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I once read that there are two types of sins that prevent a man from progressing.

Sexual sins

Sins of outward goals - (wanting status in this world)


fix both of these inwardly and ebverything should be alright.

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[Zeeshan15]

IbnAbdulKaim -
Can you be a little more clear?
Qurratul Ayn - When i offer namaz I feel no depression or no loneliness, but when i leave it i do feel. I lack confidence in my self I want to build it up. Is there any dua?

[Zeeshan15]

IbnAbdulHakim can you please inbox me so that i can talk to you over this issue little personally. As im new i can inbox you.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I have pm'd you but I dont know what more advice I can give. the advice I have given here is prety solid if one takes it on board.

[Zeeshan15]

Well I can't answer your PM. I thought to talk in a little detail but unfortunately its not possible. DO sexual sins have some kind of curse?

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum

1. Define happiness. I don't just mean the word in a general sense, but what does it mean for you? What do you think would make you happy? Are there things in your life you are unhappy with, things which are unresolved? You need t figure his out for yourself, before you can even begin to fix this problem.
2. Finding balance between your rational mind and your emotional mind. Your emotional side is part of you, and it needs its own time and space. you need to allow yourself to be emotional, and by that I don't mean allowing yourself to cry. By that I mean, you need to allow yourself to feel emotions. If someone does something bad, be angry! Of course as muslims we should control our anger. But that doesn't mean we're not allowed to "feel" the emotion at all. Or that we should feel guilty for having it. Controling your emotions means that you don't act on it (ie, you don't loose control, lash out, etc) It is not a sin to feel! And it certainly doesn't mean you have to swallow everything! You're allowed to express anger. If someone does something bad, you are completely within your rights to confront that person and tell him/her how you feel. That's not loosing control, as long as you do it in a civilised way.
3. Again a result of inbalance. Your emotion side, is mostly overlaping with your subconscious. Whereas your rational side is mostly overlaping with your conscious side. by denying room for your emotions, not allowing yourself to base decisions on them, or even express them, you're not allowing room for your subconscious needs either. As a result, it is now sabotaging you in an attempt to regain (some) control. Fix your emotion-vs-rational balance, and this problem should go away by itself.
4. Your religious conviction is like a garment. The day-to-day life grinds it down and wears it out. You have to activly seek out renewal just like one needs to buy new clothes. (there was a hadeeth about this, but I don't remember it exactly)

[Zeeshan15]

Thanks for the explanation I will start to study about "" emotion-vs-rational balance.""

[Abz2000]

It happens to me sometimes too, often feels like there's something missing in my life no matter how much I earn or entertain myself,
I have a feeling as to what it is but won't say,
But I definitely often feel I am not fulfilling my purpose in this short life and can't see a way even when I try,
When I don't aim towards it I feel bad, and when I do, I find no support from my surroundings - rather - advice to the contrary, yet I somehow feel people expect me to live like a saint with a halo and just ...... Carry on doing nothing positive, yet somehow stay on the straight path?
I'm not Gandhi, I am from the ummah of Muhammad (pbuh)
We are meant to be lions, not humble subjects of the government.
Go to work, eat, sleep, play with the kids, grow old, become weak, dependent, ill, despised, burdensome, then die and everyone gives a sigh of relief?
Nah, I think there's a lot to be achieved and fulfilled if we strengthen each other, even if it means risking an early exit.

[Zeeshan15]

ABZ2000, exactly brother, I feel like this is something missing, and when i try to find out i get no answer from my self. I don't know why it is happening is it because of any past sins i have done or something. Even if i get happiness it doesnt last long enough it just vanishes in sometime as some other surprise with some problem arises.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

all sins have a "curse" sort of.

that curse is a black mark upon your heart and the foulness of the sin accompanying you until you repent.


so repent asap.

[Zeeshan15]

So how should I know that the curse im facing is the curse of some particular sin, as we know we do sins almost every day a small sin or a big, but human we are vulnerable so how to know the black spot on my heart is of particular sin?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ dont worry too much about the black spot.

it can be removed by dhikr - quran recitation and good deeds.


dhikr is the remembrance of Allaah via recitation of Allaahu Allaah etc

[Zeeshan15]

I hope allah solves my problem and grants me a peaceful live. Inshallah.

[Ramadan90]

Other than dedicating your life to Islam and really perfect every aspect of your life according to Islam(study and learn the quran and sunnah of the prophet and implement it), I think you should find something that you love to excel in. Something that challenges you. Even the kufars who excell in music,academic professionals, sports have some degree of satisfaction(many still feel discontent because they arent muslims) because they work so hard at something they love. And remember, its not the destination that gives them satisfaction, it is the process. Knowing that you are getting better and growing.

Eat healthy, sleep early and wake up early, exercise regularly, enjoy your time with your family and friends. Be friendly with other people and smile a lot. Ask for forgivness from Allah every salah.

May Allah bring you happiness in this world and in the next

:wa:

[YusufNoor]

Assalamu Alaikum Brothers and Sisters, I facing a few problems.
1. The major on in Satisfaction to my soul, I don't know why what ever i do I don't feel satisfied. let it be materialistic satisfaction it only lasts for few mins days thats it. Even if i do to someone allah(swt) knows it better but i don't feel that satisfaction deep inside. How much ever i try to keep my self happy and satisfied I feel like there is something missing in my life. I don't understand this.

Alhamdulillah, you live in the dunya, but you are not attached to it. imagine if you could satisfy your material cravings, what a distraction that could be. this is actually good for you. it might not be good for some future spouses, but might help you find a better spouse.

2. Few years back I used to have a lot of anger, which my parents always told to have control over it, now a days I'm at such a plays where I don't get anger at all. Even if someone abuses me or talks bad about me I simply smile I don't understand why I do it. I hardly get anger but sometimes I get irritated. In one word Patience has increased so much that I feel like i have no emotions these days. When I try to cry I don't get tears, my heart wants to cry but something stops me.

might just be growing up (or older), i wish i had the sabr not to go off on some moron sometimes. patience is an act of worship, so enjoy it, cultivate it and thrive in it. don't worry about the crying thing, save that for Allah.

3. Career- I don't know whats happening with me these years, What ever i want to do I'm stopped by something I don't understand if it is good or bad which is stopping me. I feel lack of confidence in my self. Sometimes I feel like im incomplete my mind goes blank. Suppose Im talking to someone I don't understand what Im talking I talking nonsense/meanings.

could just be anxiety. might also be high blood pressure or depression. plan some goals and work towards them. write them down, when you mind goes blank, you can check to see what you're supposed to be focusing on. maybe you need a spouse, just don't plan on understanding her either! :D

4. About offering Salah I do offer namaz but i miss them sometimes, I get out of the track and then after a week or so again i start. What i want to say is I cant continue my routine of offering namaz. Some times I feel lonely, I dont feel like going out, I don't feel like doing anything. Before I used to ask my parents what I wanted but now things are different I dnt like anything nor I ask for anything. I hard like something these days. Please Help me.

:wa:

the Sister offered really good advice:

Go to the Masjid,speak to the Imam, attend lectures, listen to Qur'aan recitations, read the Qur'aan, and read your Salaah. Just read it, be strong and Insha'Allaah you shall get past this phase or whatever it is

Always make Du'a. Always

ABZ2000, exactly brother, I feel like this is something missing, and when i try to find out i get no answer from my self. I don't know why it is happening is it because of any past sins i have done or something. Even if i get happiness it doesnt last long enough it just vanishes in sometime as some other surprise with some problem arises.

the best happiness is for Jannah, you can't find that here. if you are worried about past events, make dua for Allah to forgive you for past sins, INCLUDING sins you may have been unaware of. maybe you did miss something.

write down all of the problems that you feel you are facing, the keep making dua for Allah to help you with those specific things.

there are lots of videos on time management, you could look at some of those as well.

find a favorite lecturer, i recommend Mufti Ismail Menk, and watch or listen to some beneficial lecture. study your Din, especially Tawhid and Qur'an.

And Allahu Alam.

May Allah assist you and guide you and strengthen and us as well.

ma Salaama

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Not sure if this is going to be directly helpful, but I think it's relevant. I just read this on The Atlantic and it's a very nice perspective on the 'pursuit of happiness' vs a 'meaningful life'. You might find it interesting:
..

"Happy people get a lot of joy from receiving benefits from others while people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others," explained Kathleen Vohs, one of the authors of the study, in a recent presentation at the University of Pennsylvania. In other words, meaning transcends the self while happiness is all about giving the self what it wants. People who have high meaning in their lives are more likely to help others in need. "If anything, pure happiness is linked to not helping others in need," the researchers write.

[...]

Meaning is not only about transcending the self, but also about transcending the present moment -- which is perhaps the most important finding of the study, according to the researchers. While happiness is an emotion felt in the here and now, it ultimately fades away, just as all emotions do; positive affect and feelings of pleasure are fleeting. The amount of time people report feeling good or bad correlates with happiness but not at all with meaning.

Meaning, on the other hand, is enduring. It connects the past to the present to the future. "Thinking beyond the present moment, into the past or future, was a sign of the relatively meaningful but unhappy life," the researchers write. "Happiness is not generally found in contemplating the past or future." That is, people who thought more about the present were happier, but people who spent more time thinking about the future or about past struggles and sufferings felt more meaning in their lives, though they were less happy.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/01/theres-more-to-life-than-being-happy/266805/

"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness."

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum
About that "curse" thing. It could be that your heart is blackened by previous sin, or it could be that you're tested, or it could be that you just have unresolved issues. Being a muslim doesn't make you immune against that! Allah doesn't prevent us from psychological problems, just like he doesn't prevent us from getting a cold. We can never know if there's a reason, only Allah knows. While I encourage seeking forgiveness for any sins you might have done, I don't think it's a healthy attitude to assume that whatever is happening must be a curse.

[Zeeshan15]

Thank you brothers and sisters, some of your posts might help me solve my problem. Majority of the people suggested to offer namaz. Inshallah I will.